And that’s all from me. Thanks for your time, your emails and your attention. Bye!

Michael Carrick was also interviewed. Truth be told, he wasn’t very interesting. Here’s a highlight:

First half was very scrappy, it was tough. Cambridge made it difficult for us. Second half we were a lot better, had some chances and on another day we could have won.

Richard Money, Cambridge manager, speaks:

I’m extremely proud of every one of them. First half we played well, we carried a threat, might have scored from a couple of set plays. And then second half it becomes what you’d expect it to be, world class players keeping the ball. I thought we defended really well. If we were going to get a result today the goalkeeper and the two centre-halves had to be very, very good. And they were.

We tried to make sure it didn’t phase them in the tunnel. Once we knew what the team was, get your head around who it is. Stick your chest out and then go and play. Try and enjoy it, work hard and see what happens. Our organisation is normally pretty good so we were confident we could compete when we needed to. It was just whether we could take anything that came our way.

A really entertaining cup tie, that. After a poor first half United had much the better of the second, and eventually made a couple of chances. Van Persie probably should have scored his, but that moment apart Cambridge defended excellently. They didn’t really create much, one first-half corner apart, but avoiding defeat was clearly the first priority, and probably the second one too, and they did that commendably.

“A draw was a dream result for us, and we’ve got it,” says Ryan Donaldson. “We’ll take a draw any day. Look at this, unbelievable. We went to Wembley twice last year, and the gaffer’s been saying that this cup run can give us those moments again. Not bad, is it?”

90+3 mins: There are 20 seconds to play. Cambridge have a throw-in, deep into United’s half. Can they conjure a cross?

90+2 mins: Panic! Januzaj’s deflected shot is punched by Dunn but it falls to Di Maria at the edge of the area. His low, hard shot is also saved, and then the ball is hacked clear!

90+1 mins: The fourth official raises his board, and it has the number three on it.

90 mins: Januzaj’s low cross deflects to Dunn, and the 90 minutes are up (or will be in 10 seconds).

89 mins: Donaldson horribly overhits the free-kick, and De Gea collects easily.

88 mins: The ball rolls loose in midfield. Carrick and McGeehan race for it, the Cambridge player wins the race and then falls over. It’s a (somewhat generous) free kick.

87 mins: Di Maria crosses from the left but just too high for Falcao, who beats Taylor but can’t control his header.

86 mins: United bring Luke Shaw on, and take Blind off. Meanwhile, here’s a delightful picture gallery containing all the very finest images of this here Cup tie.

85 mins: The ball goes too close to De Gea, who flaps it clearish, not totally convincingly.

84 mins: Donaldson gets the ball on the right, he earns himself half a yard against Blind and then crosses excellently. Jones, I think, concedes a corner.

82 mins: Valencia crosses from the right, and the ever-vigilant Coulson heads clear.

81 mins: Januzaj has the ball on the left, and after teasing the full-back for a while he sends a low cross that screams along the six-yard line and out the other side!

80 mins: Cambridge catch the crossing allergy, despite having the ball in a really fine position on the left, and eventually Valencia steals it off Chadwick’s toe, and the opportunity has gone.

78 mins: Nearly-a-chance! And nearly another! First, Di Maria gets the ball on the byline inside the penalty area, but a Cambridge boot meets his pull-back. And then a Cambridge head meets Herrera’s follow-up cross. And then Dunn punches Di Maria’s corner clear.

76 mins: A substitution, and Cambridge-supporting former United winger Luke Chadwick comes on, to replace Hughes.

75 mins: Herrera finds Valencia, in plenty of space to cross. He doesn’t, instead rolling back to Herrera, now himself in plenty of space to cross. He doesn’t either. And by the time Valencia does cross, there’s a defender six inches away from him and it deflects out for a throw-in. Puzzling, that.

73 mins: Donaldson, popping up on the left of his own defence, messes up his pass, surrendering the ball to Herrera. He slides it to Valencia, who takes a heavy touch, and Donaldson seems to give him a push as he runs into the area. The United player stays on his feet – is there a “Just be Honest” sign in the away dressing-room too? – and Dunn collects the ball.

71 mins: Big miss! Di Maria chips the ball over the Cambridge defence to Van Persie, running clear, just to the left of goal, who should score! He volleys over the bar.

70 mins: Jones strides forwards, strides a little bit more forwards, strides a little further and then shoots wide.

69 mins: McGeehan gets booked for a foul on Di Maria. I think he looks quite like Coventry-era Stuart Pearce. Either that or Nik Kershaw.

67 mins: It’s raining quite hard now, and windy to boot. Twenty-two minutes to play. It’s increasingly clear that Cambridge, who could make more than their average annual income in a single afternoon should they take this to a replay, could get a result here.

67 mins: A double substitution for United, Wilson and Fellaini going off, Van Persie and Herrera coming on.

66 mins: Blind crosses from the left, Falcao goes for it but decides to leave it for Fellaini, just behind him. Fellaini is offside.

65 mins: Wilson gets booked for arriving late to a challenge with Elliott.

64 mins: Cambridge had an excellent first half, but the visitors are starting to show a bit of class now. They still only have once chance to show for it, but the prospect of humiliation is perhaps, slowly, receding.

62 mins: Save! Carrick splits the defence with an excellent pass to Falcao, who takes one touch and then spears the ball goalwards, but Dunn is out fast, spreads himself well and the ball flicks off his boot and over the bar.

59 mins: Cambridge attack down the right and then cross towards the far post. Elliott goes for the ball, Valencia stops him, Elliott falls over. They both had a fistful of shirt, and the home fans’ roar for a penalty goes unanswered.

57 mins: There’s a fine line between sensibly packing your defence and having so many men behind the ball that nobody’s around to win it should it ever be cleared. Cambridge are treading that fine line currently, though United aren’t showing enough nous to find a way through.

56 mins: OK, So two hands in the air definitely means that it’s going straight to the nearest defender.

55 mins: United win a corner. Jones to take again.

54 mins: I’m a bit annoyed that Richard Money’s early substitution has denied me more hilarious put-Kaikai-at-the-start-of-song-titles-that-start-with-I “gag” opportunities. Bah.

53 mins: A substitution, with Harrison Dunk replacing Kaikai.

52 mins: A slightly scrappy spell ends with Di Maria curling a delicious cross into the penalty area, which is won by Greg Taylor ahead of Falcao.

48 mins: Phil Jones takes the corner. He took one in the first half too. He puts two hands in the air before taking it, which it turns out is training-ground code for “this is going straight to a defender”.

47 mins: Januzaj hits a low, left-foot shot towards the near post, where Dunn collects. And then a few moments later his cross is blocked for a corner. It’s been all Januzaj this half.

46 mins: Januzaj crosses from the left. Badly. Goal kick. He hasn’t really done much tonight, but presumably was given some strongly-worded encouragement at half-time.

The players are back out. “I can’t believe that you have decided to call Manchester United United and Cambridge United Cambridge,” complains Felix Wood. “It’s like Cambridge City don’t exist. I’m outraged and disgusted. And I don’t even support Cambridge. That’s Cambridge City. Or Cambridge United for that matter. Or Manchester United. Or Manchester City. I do however know how to have fun on a Friday night.” My decision is final. Ish.

This man was taken away bleeding, so it was a genuine accident – he wasn’t just taking a nap.

45+1 mins: Cambridge let Rojo come out of defence with the ball. So he comes, and he keeps coming, until he’s suddenly approaching the byline on the left. At which point, he sends the ball looping into Dunn’s arms.

45+1 mins: There will be at least one minute of stoppage time at the end of the first half.

44 mins: Di Maria hits high. And wide.

43 mins: Martin Keown, co-commentating for the BBC, says he spotted Fellaini kicking out at a Cambridge player off the ball. The referee didn’t, and that’s the key thing. United, meanwhile, have a free-kick (just about) in shooting range.

40 mins: United keep the ball for another while, before Di Maria takes a shy from 30 yards, and the ball is deflected into Dunn’s arms. And I know there are two Uniteds on the pitch, but I can’t call Manchester United Manchester so I’m going to call Cambridge United Cambridge, and Manchester United United. Is that clear?

39 mins: United keep the ball for a while before finally working it wide to Blind, whose cross is headed clear. If Cambridge can restrict them to aerial crosses, they’ll probably be quite happy about it.

37 mins: Donaldson gets down the right wing and crosses, and Kaikai was all set to crash home the header until Valencia got his eyebrows to it to flick it away for a throw-in.

36 mins: United cross from the right to the far post, where Falcao tries to volley and misses, and Blind gets confused and misses. Goal kick.

34 mins: Di Maria has another shot, a great deal better than the last. It’s sidefooted, with his left peg, from the edge of the area. It’s easy enough for Dunn to stop it going in, but harder for him to hold it. He succeeds at the second attempt.

31 mins: Off the line! And a miss! Cambridge win the header, which is blocked by Coulson, standing a yard off the line (Valencia, to be fair, was behind him). A few wild kicks later, when the ball drops back to earth, Coulson heads over from two yards!

30 mins: Kaikai runs down the left, with Fellaini covering his run, before winning a corner. Up come the big lads …

29 mins: Talking of 80s pop, Cambridge’s McGeehan, who just hit a pass out of play for a goal-kick, has a very 1980s haircut – short back and sides, fluffy on top. It has something of the Howard Jones about it.

27 mins: The first booking of the game goes to Fellaini, for taking out Kaikai as Cambridge threatened to break.

25 mins: Non-stop, this. Cambridge attack, and Donaldson carries the ball to the edge of the penalty area before totally overhitting what should have been a straightforward pass to an unmarked Kaikai on his left. The on-loan Palace player must have thought he was about to get a great chance there. Kaikai should be so lucky. Lucky, lucky, lucky.

24 mins: Jones carries the ball to the half-way line, no pressure on him. He assesses his options, and decides the one to go for is a dinked pass straight into Dunn’s arms. This is becoming a theme.

23 mins: Di Maria takes a shot, from standing, 25 yards out. It flies waaaay over the bar.

22 mins: Save! Valencia crosses from the right, and it’s headed clear but only as far as Januzaj, on the edge of the area, who tries to pass it into the corner of the net but it’s too weak, and too close to Dunn.

20 mins: For a moment it looks like Donaldson is about to race clear, but Jones – having presented him with the chance with a ludicrous, lazy across-the-penalty-area pass – gets across to tackle.

19 mins: Donaldson looks bright on the right, and the already-nutmegged Blind is giving him due respect. Anyway, he scoops a left-foot cross into the area, and it’s headed well wide.

16 mins: The ball falls to Januzaj on the halfway line, and he passes to Di Maria, who sets off towards the penalty area before laying off to Falcao, whose shot is blocked. Di Maria then falls over in the process of taking the corner, which is cleared.

15 mins: Meg! Donaldson, on the right touchline, pops the ball through Blind’s legs and sets off. He’s immediately, cleanly but nevertheless quite quite violently tackled by Rojo.

14 mins: Phil Jones carries the ball out of defence. Nobody closes him down. Eventually, with the half-way line in sight, he calmly sidefoots the ball nowhere near a teammate, and out of play.

12 mins: Cambridge win another free-kick, just inside the visitors’ half. Again, it’s floated into the mixer, and it ends with Rojo conceding a corner, from which Hughes miscues a volley wide.

10 mins: United get into the penalty area for the first time. Blind’s low cross rebounds back into his path off a defender, and he lashes the ball straight at goal, first-time. Dunn pushes it behind for a corner.

8 mins: A really promising start for the home side. KaiKai screams into the penalty area, but is dispossessed with a fine tackle from Jones.

7 mins: Cambridge win a free-kick on the left. All the big lads come up. Donaldson scoops it into the penalty area, and Elliott heads wide at the far post.

5 mins: Cambridge set Elliott racing against Rojo, and United concede a corner, which goes over everyone. De Gea came for it and got nowhere near, but fortunately for him neither did anyone else.

4 mins: Jones finds Blind on the left with a lovely long-pass, and he finds touch with a disappointing short one, aimed at Januzaj. Goal kick.

2 mins: Cambridge have mounted two half-attacks so far, both down the right wing. Perhaps a sign of things to come.

Woah, there are a lot of mascots tonight. There must be 20 of them at the very least. Every other child in Cambridge is on the pitch right now.

“A perusal of the English papers on the web showed all the English papers reporting Van Gaal referring to his ‘twitchy ass’,” writes Richard Arthur. “I take it that this is the unfortunate result of the American spelling we have rammed down our throats with spelling checkers such as come with Microsoft Word. So I say, as a Canadian, (1) Down with American imperialism!, and as an Arsenal fan, (2) long live the arse!” I concur that the correct spelling of arse is a-r-s-e, though I must concede the possibility that Van Gaal has an itchy donkey.

The players are nervously edging out of their dressing-rooms. Action imminent.

Louis van Gaal speaks!

I’m always preparing my games very seriously. We have a structure, and we have done the structure again. So we know that always in these kind of matches there is a surprise, and we have to be not that club that is the surprise.

You can play in the same play style but that is not your play style and Cambridge are much stronger. We have to avoid that, to play our own game style and then we will win.

The BBC have just shown some of the motivational posters inside the home dressing-room at Cambridge. One of them reads: “Popeye’s lifeblood is spinach. What’s yours?” Er, wine?

Pre-match poser: is it accurate to say that the teams “have met just once before” (as Gary Lineker just did on the BBC) when it was a two-legged game?

In fact there might not be a team change after all – the “source” who alerted me to that tweet has now alerted me to the fact that it’s a fake account. False alarm!

Team change! Or substitute change, at least:

And the teams in non-Twitter form:

Cambridge Utd: Dunn, Tait, Nelson, Coulson, Greg Taylor, Hughes, Champion, Donaldson, McGeehan, KaiKai, Elliott. Subs: Ball, Miller, Dunk, Norris, Simpson, Chadwick, Bird.
Man Utd: De Gea, Valencia, Jones, Rojo, Blind, Carrick, Fellaini, Januzaj, Di Maria, Wilson, Falcao. Subs: Da Silva, Shaw, van Persie, Ander Herrera, Fletcher, Valdes, McNair.
Referee: Chris Foy.

Here’s the Press Association’s take on the teams:

Manchester United captain Wayne Rooney and Juan Mata were not included in the matchday squad for the FA Cup fourth-round clash at League Two Cambridge, but Louis van Gaal took few chances with a strong team selection.

Dutchman Van Gaal, who said a 4-4-2 formation gives him a “twitchy a**”, appeared to have selected four at the back, with Antonio Valencia at right-back and Daley Blind on the left.

David de Gea started in goal, British record signing Angel di María in midfield and expensive loanee Radamel Falcao up front against a Cambridge side for whom Luke Chadwick, once of Old Trafford, was on the bench.

I basically agree with Matthew. I can imagine there are games that are half-and-half-scarf-worthy, but I don’t think FA Cup fourth-round fixtures can make the cut.

The team sheet in full:

The Manchester United team is in, and though neither Rooney nor Van Persie starts, it’s pretty strong:

With just minutes to go before kick-off, the home fans are starting to get really excited.

It seems people don’t like these half-and-half scarves very much, which might explain why the vendor pictured below is taking such extreme steps to hide their identity.

This isn’t exactly encouraging, for fans either of Cambridge or upsets in general:

Hello world!

A bit of pre-kick-off Vine action with which to start proceedings, which among other things reveal that Cambridge United exhort their players to “Just Be Honest”, which perhaps explains their current league position. “Win At All Costs” would seem to be more appropriate, or at the very least “Just Be Honest Except In The Penalty Area When There’s the Possibility of a Penalty or If Your Opponent Is on a Yellow Card”.

Simon will be here shortly. In the meantime, have a watch as the Exploding Heads uncover the truth behind the magic of the FA Cup.