What Louis van Gaal needs to learn quickly about English football is that Manchester United managers are supposed to wind everyone else up, not get suckered so easily into making fools of themselves by other managers’ comments.
The next thing the Manchester United manager should make a note of, if not in fact commission a dossier on the subject, is that English football comes with a sense of humour. Even if it is now a £5bn business thanks to the preposterous amount of money Sky and BT Sport have promised to inject over the next few seasons, Premier League football remains at heart a jokey, blokey knockabout between participants who have grown up in dressing rooms scoring points off opponents and making fun of each other.
Van Gaal is in danger of standing as aloof from this culture as the proverbial sore thumb in a stiff white bandage. Paul Scholes summarised the situation accurately when he said: “Why would you react to a West Ham manager? I found it all bizarre to be honest, as I felt Allardyce’s comments were light-hearted in the first place.”
Exactly right. Sam Allardyce was calling the situation just as he saw it, pointing out the irony of one of his teams being pegged back by strong-arm, long-ball tactics. That is not to say the West Ham manager was not having a little dig at Van Gaal’s methods, he most certainly was, but he was also registering disappointment that his own defence had not been able to withstand such a basic switch of gameplan. There was absolutely no need for Van Gaal to respond, because the switch had worked. Using Marouane Fellaini as a target man helped Manchester United gain a point. Van Gaal did not buy Fellaini, his predecessor did. Van Gaal was actually showing a bit of pragmatism and flexibility in playing to the strengths of his substitute.
Purists, whoever they are, would have been better objecting to the dull fare served up by Van Gaal’s initial selection over the first 70 minutes than the uninspired but effective manner in which he managed to rescue a draw late on. Van Gaal played a get out of jail free card. Allardyce noted the fact. Van Gaal failed to twig he was taking part in a game and called the statisticians for back-up.
None of this matters much, really, except the incident was indicative of the way things are at Old Trafford at the moment. Van Gaal is clearly answerable to no one, running the show on his own, floundering a little in a new country and a new culture without getting much support from his support staff. His outburst was similar in some ways to Rafa Benítez’s famous “Fact” rant aimed at Sir Alex Ferguson, though subtly different in others. What Benítez did was allow a press conference to begin, then produce a couple of sheets of hand-written notes detailing his list of grievances. The then Liverpool manager had clearly jotted down the points himself, without consulting anyone else at the club, and if his reputation was never quite as unassailable again he only had himself to blame. Van Gaal was different in that he ordered a dossier to be prepared and had a reasonably professional document ready to distribute as a press release.
People have been making fun of the amateurishness of the presentation, not least because the stats did not entirely support his argument, but compared to a couple of sheets torn from a notebook that ended up being stuffed back into Benítez’s pocket it was reasonably professional. The point being that other people within the club would have known what was coming. You can tell from the priceless expression on the Manchester United media manager Karen Shotbolt’s face as she began to distribute Van Gaal’s document that not everyone at the club thought it was a great idea.
It is easy to imagine Ryan Giggs, say, would have had similar reservations. The thing to remember about Van Gaal is that he has only been in this country for half a season. What he needed was for some trusted lieutenant who has been in English football for longer to say: “Hang on, boss, don’t do that, you will only end up looking silly.” No one appears to have offered such advice. Or, if they did, Van Gaal went ahead and ignored it. Either way he acted on his own, which seems to be his preferred way, and ended up looking silly.
At least Benítez had been at Liverpool for a few years when he went public with his facts routine, internalising a succession of perceived slights and wind-ups from the direction of Manchester until he could take no more. He would probably have been better advised to stay calm and keep quiet but at least you could understand why he blew his top. Van Gaal is not under that sort of pressure yet, though he will get there quite quickly if he keeps adding gaffes of his own to the already demanding task of guiding Manchester United to a top four finish.
One of the advantages Van Gaal has over his predecessor David Moyes in that regard is that he has the respect of his players. He has won big things in his time, spent big money, worked with the biggest players. He is not the figure of fun that Moyes was becoming this time last year, but he seems to be working on it.
In terms of losing respect, Manchester United should be worried. Van Gaal has just demonstrated, to a roomful of reporters, to Manchester United supporters, to players now retired like Scholes and to players still appearing for the club, that he is not quite as smart as he thinks he is. Not normally a good move, though in Van Gaal’s case perhaps only a matter of time. Anyone who has followed the Dutchman’s career for any length of time will know that no one in the world could possibly be as smart as the Manchester United manager thinks he is.
