Newcastle United travel to the new home ground of Alan Pardew next weekend for a match that will be laden with grim significance for Steve McClaren. When the final whistle sounds, it will mark the completion of 16 matches under McClaren – or, if you prefer, exactly 24 hours of non-stop football-like action. A full day of watching this Newcastle side. A full day. Of watching this Newcastle side. If you’re now picturing McClaren in A Clockwork Orange undergoing the Ludovico technique of aversion therapy, then you’ll appreciate rumours that merciful Mike Ashley reckons the poor man has almost had enough.
Next into the hot seat at St James’ Park, according to rumblings of dubious reliability, will be Clarence Seedorf. He could be given a 17-year contract, two seats on the board and a house in the Gallowgate End, and, well, long may he reign.
Staying in the north-east, Sunderland are plotting to beat Tottenham Hotspur to the signature of the 20-year-old Auxerre winger Nils Bouekou, whose contract expires next summer.
Elsewhere, Chinese football is on the march! And it wants to show just how powerful it is by plunging a good chunk of the £830m it received in a new TV deal into the pockets of Wayne Rooney. So the Manchester United and England legend could be on his way to the Chinese capital, though for him that would mean not so much Beijing as Ka-ching!
Manchester United see Fulham’s Moussa Dembélé as one potential heir to Rooney at Old Trafford, apparently. They’re also eyeing up Leeds United’s nifty midfielder Lewis Cook.
Now we move on to recurring delusions: first up, there are reports, yet again, that Cristiano Ronaldo may join Manchester United. There are also reports he will see out his career at Real Madrid. And, to complete the hat-trick, there are reports he will join Paris Saint-Germain. Anyone would think people just like mentioning Cristiano Ronaldo to arouse interest, even when there is nothing new to say about him.
Second, there are reports Arsène Wenger will sign a tip-tip defensive midfielder. Lars Bender and William Carvalho have been mentioned. But so, with heavy foreboding, has the possibility that just as any deal is close to being done, Mathieu Flamini will have an encouraging game, Wenger will realise Francis Coquelin is just a few weeks away from returning and, well, we’ll see.
Wenger is also said to be keen on a new striker, namely Internazionale’s Mauro Icardi.
Liverpool also want a new striker and are also looking in Italy. Empoli’s Riccardo Saponara could be Anfield-bound.
And Chelsea want a new striker, too, but they’re looking in Argentina, specifically at Jonathan Calleri of Boca Juniors.
If Rafael Benítez is ousted as Real Madrid manager, he could be replaced by Carlos Ancelotti, who hasn’t worked since being ousted as Real Madrid manager.
