He’s our story on the draw …

Thanks for your tweets. The Europa League eh? Bye.

Liverpool and Manchester United have never met before in European competition. A quick look at Manchester United’s fixtures shows that they have a Manchester derby three days after the second leg against Liverpool. What a week for United fans! Liverpool, meanwhile, have an away day at Southampton.

Maybe, but still, come on … they are two mouthwatering ties Charlie, no?

Fenerbahce v Braga finishes things off.

Borussia Dortmund v Tottenham Hotspur! What a tie that is. Spurs get the home leg second in a mouthwatering fixture. Two teams pressing each other to within an inch of their lives, no doubt.

Sparta Prague v Lazio!

It’s Liverpool v Manchester United! There we go. This is what happens when Gianni Infantino isn’t doing the draw. You get madness. He is a safe pair of hands indeed. He’ll never get the Fifa job.

So United get the home leg second. Oof!

Athletic Bilbao v Valencia! So Gary Neville faces opponents from La Liga.

It’s Villarreal v Bayer Leverkusen!

It’s Basel v Sevilla up next!

The final is being staged at their stadium on 18 May.

One last point. The first team out of the bowl plays the first leg at home.

Who is Heselswerdt’s sidekick then? It’s Alex Frei! A Basel and Switzerland legend. He scored 18 goals in 38 Europa League/Uefa Cup appearances. Very decent. But can he pluck balls from a bowl safely? Let’s see shall we …

Right, almost time for the draw (I think). The big news is that the man who has stepped into Gianni Infantino’s shoes as Uefa draw overlord is Michael Heselswerdt (Uefa’s head of club competitions), who has a doctorate. Perhaps in tombola. I don’t know. Anyway, he’s doing a reasonable job, although he lacks the knowing smile that Infantino wears so well. Slightly wooden delivery too.

The bookies have Dortmund as 7/2 favourites to lift the trophy (and what a lovely trophy it is by the way - name a prettier football gong, go on …). Well, they are second in a league where finishing second is like finishing first. They’re only eight points behind Bundesliga behemoths Bayern Munich. They also have goal magnet Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang slamming them home for fun. He’s scored 28 goals in 30 games. Incredible. Sevilla are second favourites, above Spurs, and then it’s Liverpool just above Manchester United, which seems pretty generous to Jürgen Klopp’s side, who have been more inconsistent than United, despite their wobbles this season.

Hello. There are some grand old teams in the pot for the Europa League last 16 draw. There are no seedings. Nor is there any country protection. We could be in for some tasty ties. Jürgen Klopp could travel back to Dortmund with Liverpool, Gary Neville could pay a visit to Old Trafford with Valencia – or there could even be a Manchester United v Liverpool double-header. Oof! Meanwhile, nobody wants to meet Spurs after their demolition job on Fiorentina last night. The big question is, who is going to look after the Uefa tombola while Gianni Infantino is trying to land the big job at the Fifa elections?

Anyway, here are the teams who will be in the pot:

• Braga (Portugal)
• Valencia (Spain)
• Sparta Prague (Czech Republic)
• Lazio (Italy)
• Shakhtar Donetsk (Ukraine)
• Athletic Bilbao (Spain)
• Bayer Leverkusen (Germany)
• Liverpool (England)
• Manchester United (England)
• Tottenham Hotspur (England)
• Fenerbahce (Turkey)
• Basel (Switzerland)
• Borussia Dortmund (Germany)
• Sevilla (Spain)
• Villarreal (Spain)
• Anderlecht (Belgium)

The draw is due to take place at midday GMT. Games will be played on 10 and 17 March.