Anyway, thanks all for your company and comments; we’ll be back shortly with the end of La Liga.

So I guess that’s a season. Snivel. Chelsea and Spurs are streets ahead of the rest and proved it again this afternoon; Liverpool and Manchester City confirmed their participation in next season’s Champions League; the relegated teams were relegated for a reason; Harry Kane wins the golden boot; and Arsenal have defensive issues to sort before the Cup Final.

I don’t believe it!

I concur with this sentiment.

Aguero is taken off at Vicarage Road; might that be his last appearance for City? Surely they need to do everything to make that unso - he guarantees goals, and even if Jesus scores as many it’s not like you don’t need back-up, or the option of playing two strikers.

Axel Tuanzebe is playing in midfield today - he is going to be a player. His use next season will go a long way to revealing Mourinho’s intentions as regards young players.

Excellent double-save from Gomes to deny Aguero a hat-trick. Gomes is now receiving treatment, but luckily Mazzarri had the foresight to pick two keepers for the bench.

I appear to have missed Jamie Vardy’s equaliser for Leicester at home to Bournemouth. 1-1 there now.

At Old Trafford, United are passing and moving. It’s fairly strange to see.

What a miss! Sane hares down the left, arcs over a low cross for Aguero - all he needs to do is tap home - but the ball slides off his instep and way, way wide.

I guess Guzan should’ve saved that, but still, it was very well done indeed.

Scott McTominay has just run across the back of Wilfried Zaha, clipping his heels in the process. It didn’t look deliberate, but poor Zaha is in a lot of pain nonetheless - his shoulder took the brunt of the fall. He’s up, though, and looks like he’ll be good to carry on.

And if Phil’s saying that...

I wonder what words of wisdom the sacked Walter Mazzarri shared with his players. “C’mon lads, you can do it...”

We have kick-off.

“Mike Dean got coined at a S Wales derby,” tweets Matthew Rudd. “As the blood poured from his head, he picked the coin up and threw it angrily to the floor. Liked him ever since.”

The Sky pundits - Graeme Souness, Gary Neville and Jamie Carragher - all think Middlesbrough should have had a penalty for that challenge by Lovren on Bamford, and a red card for Lovren as well.

“I’m watching the Mike Dean game, also known as Swansea v West Brom. What did the Baggies do to deserve Dean’s last game of the season as well as Clattenburg’s last game of his career?

Dean has played some majestic advantages this season as well as making several absolutely absurd penalty decisions. He has just finished giving a 60 second lecture to Nyom and Olsson. This game is a bit nasty. Could easily imagine a red card sometime.”

It is psychologically, biologically impossible not to reference Jeff Winter’s swansong at this juncture...

“In the end I played a little bit extra, waiting until play was at the Kop end, before sounding the final shrill blast - a bit like the Last Post. The fans behind the goal burst into spontaneous applause. It was longer and louder than normal, even for a big home win. Did they know it was my final visit? Was the applause for me? They are such knowledgeable football people, that it would not surprise me. ”

Here’s yerman Smyth on that:

23 min Having seen the replay, I’m not sure about that penalty appeal. Bamford played a fine one-two with Forshaw and then cleverly got in front of Lovren so that there would be contact from the rear. Whether it was enough for a penalty, I don’t know. I suspect a penalty would be given maybe six or seven times out of 10 for something like that.

Apparently Martin Atkinson denied Boro a clear penalty at 0-0...

At Old Trafford, Pogba and Lingard have been replaced by Carrick and Martial. Neither looked injured, but it is slightly odd behaviours, naking the chances before half-time. Mourinho is just so ... so ... so gnomic!

At Arsenal, Barkley is on for Davies - presumably he’s injured. I wonder where Barkley will turn up - he really is a terrific talent, but where do you play him? I guess in a midfield three would be best, or next to another box-to-boxer with a more defensive inclination.

Daniel Sturridge has just missed a chance at Anfield. They might not have been nervous before; they will be now.

Surely this isn’t the last we’re seeing of Aguero in the Premeer League?

Are you kidding me?

Wayne Rooney is arguing with the referee, obviously.

Anyway, Chelsea are knocking at the door. Liverpool aren’t, really.

Bournemouth lead Leicester 1-0, the goal from Junior Stanislas.

“I know the guy, he is a good guy and he didn’t want to cause any malice.” Excellent from Martin Keown excellent on what constitutes a red card offence.

Gabriel Jesus ought to have added another for Chelsea, but as he went through, a mess was made.

“Is ‘The Cherries’ football’s worst nickname?” emails William Hargreaves. “Well not necessarily, I don’t think. Given that it is supposed to represent their shirt colour, ‘The Haemorrhoids’ could have been worse?”

But this is a whole nother category, nicknames that never were.

Chance for Liverpool! Coutinho sends Milner down the left and his cross falls to Clyne. He might swipe it with his left, but rather like a Kick Off 2 player, he can only play the way he’s facing, drilling a right-footer in a straight line, wide.

Early chance at Arsenal, Welbeck deftly groining the ball wide from very few yards out.

Lovely one-two from Zaha and Puncheon - the former finding the latter, who responds with a backheel, sending him into the box. But Fosu-Mensah slides in brilliantly to avert the danger.

A heavy touch from Aguero allows Gomes to dive at his feet, but he retrieves the ball and dinks a cross into the middle from the by-line. Jesus is up and nods goalwards, but the man on the line chests it away.

Fred the Red goes to give Mourinho a high-five. Mourinho blanks him.

They’re hollering You’ll Never Walk Alone at Anfield. At the Vic, the Hornets are huddling.

BREAKING NEWS: Daniel Sturridge didn’t nod his head sufficiently vigorously when listening to the pre-match warm-up music.

At Old Trafford, the teams are marching from the tunnel to halfway. It really makes you think it’s all important.

The teams come out at Vicarage Road, and elsewhere around the country.

Julio Arca, what a hero.

I mean seriously.

Of course, it’s impossible that a man who’s spent as long injured as Sturridge has knows his own body.

Gary Neville is talking about Daniel Sturridge, saying that you need to get him a lot of the ball to get the benefit of him. I don’t really see why Liverpool would get rid - he’s not often fit, it’s true, but he’s useful when he is. There’s no issue with him not being first pick, because it barely matters. Graeme Souness, meanwhile, is haranguing the intensity of his warm-up. “Other people were picking their leg up higher than him.”

According to the Manchester Evening News, Jose Mourinho would like to buy Nemanja Matic - presumably, Chelseas fancy bringing in Tiemoue Bakayoko. I’m not certain good football teams - modern football teams - need a stopper protecting their defence.

“First of all, we have to defend ... they have quality,” reckons Jurgen Klopp of Boro. 5/10.

Aha!

I’m interested in this last fixture. What would constitute a good season for Swansea and West Brom in 2017-18? And how do they go about getting better?

So, what about Mark Hughes? On the one hand, Stoke are about where they should be; on the other, might he not exceed expectations given how good his best players could be?

Is “The Cherries” football’s worst nickname?

Chelsea: Courtois; Azpilicueta, David Luiz, Terry (c); Moses, Kante, Fabregas, Alonso; Willian, Diego Costa, Hazard. Subs: Begovic, Zouma, Cahill, Chalobah, Matic, Pedro, Batshuayi.

Choking up, here.

Quina and Rice on the West Ham bench, Big Slav covering every base there.

So, no Ross Barkley for Everton - it does not seem like Ronald Koeman is one bit arsed if he leaves. I get why you’d affect that; I don’t get why it’d be true.

Arsenal’s XI looks like one that’ll start the Cup Final, with the exception of Gabriel, whose spot’ll go to Mustafi.

Arsenal: Cech, Holding, Koscielny, Gabriel, Bellerin, Ramsey, Xhaka, Monreal, Ozil, Alexis, Welbeck. Subs: Ospina, Mertesacker, Coquelin, Elneny, Iwobi, Walcott, Giroud.

No going easy from Significantly-sized Samuel, then. As far as that United XI goes, it’s a shame that Angel Gomes isn’t starting - he’s a serious talent. Otherwise, we can perhaps deduce that Smalling will start on Wednesday night, alongside Blind, with Darmian at left-back. And so, perhaps, will Mata.

“A Nicky Butt team” with some other bits and pieces.

Liverpool: Mignolet, Clyne, Matip, Lovren, Milner, Can, Wijnaldum, Lallana, Coutinho, Firmino, Sturridge. Subs: Karius, Moreno, Alexander-Arnold, Klavan, Lucas, Grujic, Origi.

Middlesbrough: Guzan, Fabio, Chambers, Gibson, Friend, Clayton, Leadbitter, Forshaw, Downing, Bamford, Gestede. Subs: Dimi, Ayala, Bernardo, De Roon, Fischer, Stuani, Negredo.

Anyway, let’s have ourselves some teams.

I was just listening to Alfie Mawson interviewed on the wireless. He doesn’t feel like a Premier League players because “I literally go home and just play on my Playstation”.

Er, isn’t that the very definition of?