Here’s Sachin Nakrani’s match report from Vicarage Road.

Which is where we came in.

Insert ‘bearing of gift gag’ here.

The stats are not happy reading for Manchester United.

Troy Deeney speaks

We’ve been close for ages. The performances against Liverpool and Leicester were good...It’s massive for us. And I am just happy the people here can go away and have a decent Christmas...you could see the lads celebrating that free-kick. We wanted a clean sheet, and the boys deserve it. Real pressure is watching my mum work three jobs for Christmas. These boys have been grafting for the three months I haven’t been here. We don’t take anything for granted, we have won just one game...the gaffer has been top drawer.

90+3 min: A Cathcart handball means United have a free-kick to score a consolation goal. Mata sets the ball down, and drifts it wide to jeers. That sums it all up: a misfire.

90 min: Three minutes added, and Martial forces another Foster save when coming in off the flank to shoot. Where was this in the first half? Though would Foster have been beaten in any case?

89 min: Yet another Foster save! A Pogba pass, and a Rashford turn and shoot and the ball comes off Foster’s legs. He’s been brilliant against his old club.

88 min: Now Watford are prepared to sit deep, with Pogba’s series of attempts to find a final pass falling on the stony ground of Cathcart and Kabasele.

87 min: Final Watford sub: off goes Sarr, the matchwinner, and here comes Success, as Iggy Pop once had it. Isaac Success, to be specific.

85 min: Another pearler of a pass from Pogba, and Greenwood has time to bring the ball down. The lob is on but, like Lingard in the first half, it goes over. A better chance, perhaps, and more surprising from a young player who usually seems nerveless.

84 min: Pogba tries a dinked pass and ends up creating a Watford counter. That comes to nothing and back come United but Martial runs into heavy traffic.

82 min: Foster makes another save, as Pogba tries to beat him from an acute angle. Pogba has looked full of danger since coming on, but not many of his teammates have been on his wavelength.

81 min: End-to-end stuff: Roberto Pereyra digs the ball out to Deulofeu after robbing Greenwood and Watford again break. Shaw, at the other end, actually produces a decent cross but nobody had bothered to chase it. Watford hack behind and from the corner, Maguire heads straight at Foster.

79 min: United continue to be listless. There is no sign of the surge they produced against Sheffield United when they scored three goals in quick succession. They have been dreadful.

77 min: Watford sub: Capoue goes off and on comes Roberto Pereyra. Mad Nige is going for this one; that is not the substitution of a manager trying to sit on a lead.

75 min: Pogba tries a shot from distance that had no right to go in, and didn’t. Foster, as he has so far this afternoon, read it well.

73 min: Watford, to their immense credit, are not sitting back at all. Deulofeu is causing all sorts of problems and he forces some anxious defending before Deeney also has a shot blocked. This has been a fine performance from Nige’s team. There is plenty of hope for them if they can play like this to the end of the season.

72 min: On comes Mata for McTominay for United.

71 min: The final United change looks likely to be Juan Mata, who is being readied. Meanwhile, Rashford chases down a great Pogba pass. Rashford is fouled so a free-kick from the left-hand side of the Watford box. He hits it straight at goal and Foster is ready for it and punches away with some power.

69 min: Watford sub and it looks like for like: Nathaniel Chalobah come on for Doucoure, who has been excellent in midfield but was on a yellow card.

68 min: Sarr finds more space, but this time he can’t fashion a shot. United are utterly ragged at the back.

66 min: Martial has a shot blocked after Shaw goes on the overlap. Fred’s resultant corner is cleared by Deeney. Greenwood’s speculative shot goes wide. On the bench, Ole looks crestfallen.

65 min: Pogba looks determined to get involved, which looks a start. And the quality of his passing has already shown through.

64 min: Off to nobody’s surprise, goes Lingard. And on comes Pogba.

63 min: OK, Pogba is coming on in just a moment...meanwhile, Sarr almost makes another chance but Maguire has to clear the danger.

62 min: Deulofeu goes on one of his runs and United scrabble to concede a corner. Watford are not retreating into their shell just yet.

61 min: Fred and McTominay have struggled today; perhaps Pogba might be able to find more space and better passes than they have but there is no sign as yet.

60 min: The pattern from now on is likely to be United pushing onwards and Watford sitting deep. That’s if United are actually capable of stringing passes together.

59 min: United sub: On comes Greenwood for the peripheral Dan James.

58 min: Ben Foster makes his first save of the game, when McTominay fires one in and the former United player palms it away.

56 min: Mad Nigel Pearson could be on his first step to making one of his great escapes: he was there when West Brom escaped in 2004-05 having been bottom at Christmas and he did it with Leicester five years ago.

55 min: Manchester United have only themselves to blame. They were already playing poorly and then they started making stupid mistakes.

53 min: Watford penalty! Wan-Bissaka brings down Sarr; a clear penalty. VAR has no problem with it. Deeney will take it.

50 min: Watford lead for the first time at home since April but that isn’t the first DDG error since then. He’s not the player he was, and that was a total rick. He just seemed to lose concentration as the ball came into his hands. Inexplicable but not unexpected.

48 min: The United fans are still singing at least, but this game is not flush with atmosphere. Harry Maguire walloping a free-kick straight out of play says much about the quality on show.

47 min: The opening two minutes as sleepy as the first half. This does not bode well.

The second half is back underway. How soon until Paul Pogba plays a part? Ole likes a late sub. It looked more like Mason Greenwood was the player United needed from this point of view.

There were no shots on target in that first half. See, I told you it wasn’t great.

45 min: Late scare for United as Lindelof is hurried by some Deeney force into clearing behind. It looked a corner but a goal-kick was given.

44 min: This has been very scrappy. On the bench, Pogba and Matic are continuing their talking shop. It can’t be the match they are talking about; there is not much to be said.

42 min: Lingard had chance to make problems for Watford after some loose play from Deulofeu, but instead just walloped the ball into the middle. That was panicked stuff; he looks bereft of confidence.

40 min: Close for Watford, as Doucoure almost directs a header from a drifting cross but it goes just wide. De Gea was scrabbling somewhat.

38 min: Deeney wins a free-kick after he alpha males into Lindelof. Then Luke Shaw picks up a booking for a foul on Sarr. A free-kick on the edge of the United box and some big targets to aim for but it’s Maguire who gets up highest. The captain then clears up the danger when Watford try again to force the issue.

36 min: Capoue is booked for manhandling Lingard after he has to chase down a misdirected pass in midfield.

34 min: Best chance of the game. Lingard through, all alone, after Martial’s beaut of a pass, and he tries to lob Ben Foster rather than place or power. It drifts over and is a terrible waste. He has until Boxing Day to make sure he hasn’t gone a year without scoring and that was the finish of someone devoid of confidence.

32 min: Martial is adjudged to be offside, which seems to happen rather too often.

31 min: Will Hughes has grown a beard, which when he grimaces in pain, as he did just now, gives him something of the look of Wilfred Brambell.

30 min: Watford’s lack of goals is being explained by some rather hasty attacking when they get in front of goal, and a lack of creativity. Mind you, United are hardly inspired at the same time.

28 min: United have a corner. Fred’s outswinger is cleared and then United conceded a foul in midfield. This is not great from them, not great at all.

27 min: Watford attack now, and are able to do so on the counter. Deulofeu’s surge means the ball breaks to Deeney but his shot is blocked by Harry Maguire,

26 min: United play a glacially slow passing move and Watford are happy to sit bal and soak up the pressure. This has followed the pattern that is so obvious, they are only good when on the counter.

24 min: Not much of the attacking telepathy we saw from United against City and Spurs. Their front trio are operating as satellites of each other today.

22 min: Luke Shaw makes a burst to the byline, beyond Watford’s defence, pings a ball in but there is nobody there. Jesse Lingard, so lacking in goals and assists these days, was rather rocking on his heels rather than chasing the ball down.

20 min: Watford have been decent so far, United in the lethargic mode that so angers so many of their fans. Watford have been strong in the tackle with Dan James on the end of some heavy stuff in particular.

18 min: The ball ends up in the Watford net, but there will be no goal. David de Gea was fouled, and rather less heavily than last week when Everton’s goal was allowed to stand. That the Watford players did not dispute that decision suggests they didn’t thing Calvert-Lewin’s goal should have stood, either.

16 min: Rashford tries a shot that ends up looking like a cross and Ben Foster claims with ease.

15 min: In the dugout, there’s sight of Pogba and Matic, deep in discussion, presumably about their next destination in January.

14 min: Watford’s Sarr is down, having been the victim of an inadvertent eye-gouging from Wan-Bissaka. His eyes are watering, but he should be OK to continue.

12 min: Rashford speeds down the left to force a corner that is taken short. It ends up leading to a Watford counter, but Wan-Bissaka and McTominay clear the danger.

10 min: Martial nearly escaped after Jesse Lingard’s dummy but had strayed offside.

9 min: Adrian Mariappa may well be singing soprano at Midnight Mass this Christmas after Fred larrups the ball at his crown jewels. Bravely, gingerly, he soldiers on.

8 min: Watford force a corner. Troy Deeney lurks with intent but the ball in from Will Hughes does not even beat first man Marcus Rashford.

6 min: Quick United attack, McTominay and Martial get James away, and the ball is centred for the striker, whose shot is wide. He’s disappointed with that.

5 min: United had a free-kick in a dangerous position but Dan James and then Luke Shaw when the ball came back out did not make much of it.

4 min: Early burst from Martial at centre-forward. With his back to goal, he releases Jesse Lingard and it takes some hurried defending to avert any danger.

2 min: Gerard Deulofeu v Wan-Bissaka already looks like one of the key match-ups of this game; almost all of the action so far has been down their flank.

1 min: Aaron Wan-Bissaka goes into what some call the ‘block tackle’ and looks to have hurt himself a little. He’s made of stern stuff and will try to run that off.

And away we go....

Nemanja Matic, United’s forgotten man, and someone surely headed for a move out next month is also on the bench.

Ole Gunnar Solskjær speaks

(On Pogba): He looks very ready and he is in good shape. Hopefully we can see the best of Paul in the next few months.

(On Mason Greenwood): He’s come off the bench a few times, and that’s what he’s got to do today. He’s got a chance of coming on if he needs to.

Nige was also Sheffield Wednesday captain for this 1991 slaying of mighty Manchester United.

Nigel Pearson has beaten Manchester United before as a manager. And it was this game in 2014, one of the most ridiculous in Premier League history. At this point, I should make a personal admission: after this I predicted Jamie Vardy would never score another Premier League goal. And he didn’t for six months or so. But I was wrong, so wrong.

Nigel Pearson speaks, and he first looks back to the Liverpool game.

We created chances, we showed a strong team ethic, which we are gong to need. It’s possible to get out of the situation we are in but we are going to have sto start winning sooner or later. We have to produce performances our fans are happy with but we need results. If we create the same amount of chances as last week clearly we are going to have start taking them. I think the players are looking forward to playing Manchester United but have to be at our best.

So far, Manchester United’s social media team has not yet resorted to the #pogback hashtag. But there is time yet, even if Paul Pogba’s star does not shine nearly so brightly as in that heady summer of 2016 when Britain was heading out of the European Union and had a bright and shiny new prime minister.

And, to get back to the football, even if he were fully fit, would have the right to challenge that redoubtable midfield partnership of Fred and Scott McTominay. Both are playing the best football of their time at United.

This match will be preceded by a minute’s applause for World Cup winner Martin Peters, whose death was announced yesterday.

Here’s some overnight news on Manchester United. Ole calls the shots, apparently.

For Watford, Nigel Pearson seems to have been happy with his new charges’ performance against Liverpool and selects the same team. Troy Deeney to target Vic Lindelof?

The big news is on the Manchester United bench: Paul Pogba, whose earrings looked resplendent as he arrived at Vicarage Road. Looks like his dancing at this brother’s wedding was a mark of a return to fitness. United were a little tardy in their arrival, 30 minutes late, in fact. Their logistics teams seems to have misjudged the Hertfordshire traffic; this type of thing seems to happen rather too often.

Here’s the teams in analogue, non-social media guff fashion.

Watford starting XI: Foster, Cathcart, Hughes, Mariappa, Femenia, Kabasele, Capoue, Doucoure, Sarr, Deulofeu, Deeney

Manchester United starting XI: De Gea, Wan-Bissaka, Lindelof, Maguire, Shaw, Fred, McTominay, Lingard, James, Rashford, Martial

Here are the teams for today