Across the world they hold the parade after the big match. But Melbourne is different.
Australia’s biggest city. Its cultural benchmark. The sporting capital. Visit the magnificent celebration of Australian rules football – the grand final parade – and one begins to believe everything they’re told is true.
“Go the Pies,” one fan shouts. Then another. And a third.
Look around and it’s a sea of black and white. The flash of Lions’ yellow and maroon like dead pixels on a laptop screen.
There’s a man on a scooter, with the Pies’ victory song on loop blaring presumptively from his backpack. Good old Collingwood. A family of four, sweating in their black polos as the temperature climbs towards 30C. There “just to enjoy the day,” dad says. “Be together as a family,” mum adds.
Two friends in their early 20s, wise beyond their years. “I took this whole period off work, Thursday to Sunday, three months ago,” one says. “It doesn’t happen all the time, it can be once in a lifetime,” the other adds. “Take it in for what it is.”
To these fans, the day is special because Collingwood is in the grand final. But there is a broader significance to this year’s parade. Covid robbed Victorians of the occasion in 2020 and 2021, taking it to Brisbane and Perth. Then the AFL experimented with a jaunt up the Yarra River last year.
So, 2023 is a nod to the past. The first land-based parade in Melbourne in four years. But despite the turnout – estimated by the AFL at 300,000 – the tradition is far from settled.
The Victorian public holiday for the day was only instituted in 2015. And today’s route is new. Through an archway in front of John Cain Arena to the MCG’s south, north-west up the bank of the Yarra, then back east to the Footy Festival to the north of the ground. “Do you know how to get to the other side?” is the refrain of the day.
Climate protesters, including a 70-year-old grandfather of five, manage to glue themselves to the route, banking up the players’ utes for several minutes. But they are soon taken away, fans along the route mostly unaware.
Kids on shoulders. More running along the barriers. The swarming mass of goodwill, several people deep behind the barricades.
But not much more than one in 50 a Lions fan. Some proudly share their Fitzroy ties, others less so. One woman says her association with the Lions has barely been worth it: “I wouldn’t do it again, it’s too much pain.”
Queenslanders too have made the pilgrimage. Heidi, 48, was at her second parade, with her partner, Lee, 51, at his first. She missed the Lions’ finals run while she was in Europe, but on her way back, Lee had an idea. “She was boarding the plane in Singapore and I said, ‘we could drive down,’” he says.
No tickets. No flights. No accommodation. Heidi had replied: “I’m up for it.”
Landing back home in Brisbane at 7am on Wednesday, they drove straight down. But with 24 hours to go before the big game, their search for tickets has so far proved fruitless. The only offer they’ve had was for Ricky Nixon’s corporate box, at $3,800 a head. The parade could be as good as it gets. “That’s the whole point, I’ve never been before,” Lee says. “You’ve got to go down, and experience it,” Heidi says.
Once upon a time, a clash between the Lions and Pies would be a contest up Smith Street, which borders the two now gentrified suburbs in Melbourne inner-east. But the AFL has dragged these communities well beyond their geographic confines.
Collingwood is home to 9,000 residents, according the 2021 census. The football club’s membership, more than 10 times that. Its influence on this sunny day in September? Seemingly limitless.
Across the road, unveiling Collingwood’s shiny new training facility on the banks of the Yarra – made possible by the taxpayer purse – even the prime minister, Anthony Albanese, was taken aback by the spectacle. Just prior to the formal start of the parade, thumping base accompanied a contemporary dance troupe within Albanese’s earshot. “It is not often you get to give a press conference with a soundtrack,” he says. “A typical low-key morning for the Pies.”
Among the VIPs, the mood was obvious. “Nobody does it better than Melbourne,” Victorian senator Linda White says. Without a cloud in the sky, it was hard to argue otherwise. “It’s a great day for Collingwood,” the club’s president, Jeffrey Brown, says. “Let’s hope tomorrow is even better.”
The slogan for the parade is “two stories, one ending.” But the world is not always black and white.
A family of eight, decked out in Magpies colours, were walking along the Yarra. There for the parade? “No we don’t like the Lions,” the mother says. “Or Collingwood.” Their black jackets, studded, and their face-paint, should have been the giveaway. “We just watched KISS co-host Sunrise at Federation Square.”
Follow the build-up and every minute of the grand final itself on Saturday with Guardian Australia’s live blog from 11.30am AEST.
