To a chorus of Australian cheers, and jeers aimed at England, the second Ashes Test ended not with a whimper but a bang. Steve Smith sent a flash of pink soaring over the rope to seal an emphatic eight-wicket victory for his side, moments after swapping words with Jofra Archer.
“You bowl fast when there’s nothing gone on, champion,” was Smith’s dig, before sealing the 2-0 series lead that only one side in Test history has ever overcome, Australia in 1936-37. The current team’s second-innings target was a modest 65 runs and, while he was sending down serious heat, Archer’s match figures were hobbled by poor catching. It was hard to disagree with the broader sentiment side-mouthed by Smith: day four was too little, too late from Ben Stokes and his team.
This was a painful defeat for England in the Gabba cauldron; the tourists were architects of their own downfall for the second Test running, impressive as Australia were. Stokes did attempt to reprise the Headingley hundred that sealed his place in Ashes folklore – a statement to his players. But, shut down on 50 from 152 balls amid Michael Neser’s bustling five-wicket haul on his home ground, it was another case of what might have been.
England’s collapse to 128 for six the night before – still 43 runs short of making Australia bat again – was simply too great to overcome. Stokes batted for three hours alongside Will Jacks, who made 41, and finally suggested a team prepared to dig deep. At one stage Stokes received an eye-watering blow to the box, falling flat on his back, knees in the air, as spidercam swooped in close to underline the unforgiving nature of the venue.
In the end his wicket summed up another aspect of the cricket played so far, with Alex Carey’s superb reflex catch stood up to the stumps capping a near faultless performance with the gloves – a stark contrast to Jamie Smith’s struggles on his first Ashes tour. Moments earlier, Smith had delivered the first incision of England’s drawn-out demise, removing Jacks with a superb low reflex catch at slip despite being unsighted by Carey.
England, by contrast, put down five chances as Australia amassed an imposing first innings of 511 – a total burnished by Mitchell Starc’s impressive 77 from No 9 that, with eight wickets, led to the 35-year-old being named player of the match for the second time in succession. No Pat Cummins, no Josh Hazlewood, and with Nathan Lyon eagerly running drinks out to a pitch he might well have enjoyed, Starc still means zero let-up.
Yet England offered too many gifts, be it a wayward attack or wasteful batting that once again underlines a struggle with situational awareness. Zak Crawley and Ollie Pope offered return catches driving on the up – a danger not recognised or apparently discussed by the coaching staff – while Harry Brook’s first-innings dismissal, trying to larrup the second ball of Starc’s twilight spell, was a howler. Even after Stokes and Jacks got their heads down – the latter making a case to turn his day-night-specific pick into a spot in Adelaide – there was still time for one last brain fade.
Gus Atkinson can hold a bat. He has a Test century to his name. At what was in effect 54 for eight, with another decent stick at the other end in Brydon Carse, it was not impossible to set Australia a far trickier three-figure exam under lights.
Cue Atkinson’s pull shot straight to Smith at midwicket, Australia’s captain gobbling it up without moving, which was down there with the most gormless shots of the tour – a trap almost wilfully fallen into.
Singling out the No 9 for criticism may seem harsh given some of the efforts of those higher up the night before. But as Atkinson knocked over Travis Head and Marnus Labuschagne during a brief Australian run chase chalked off in 10 overs – deliveries that shot through and reared up off what was an increasingly marbled surface – his own dismissal simply grew softer.
One wonders what Joe Root made of it all after a match in which he changed a few minds in Australia with a disciplined, masterful unbeaten 138 in the first innings.
Stokes was open to sharing his views, stating that his dressing room – but implicitly Australia itself – is no place for “weak men” and adding: “It’s a mentality. It’s a mindset about how you take yourself out there in those situations.”
Brendon McCullum’s insistence that England actually overtrained during the buildup will doubtless go down like a lead balloon back home. As will the fact that England now travel up the coast to the resort town of Noosa for what is officially being termed a mid-series break. Hitting the nets straight away would be a poor choice given the intensity of this past week but it will only add to the perception of an unserious team.
The bottom line on a tour to a place such as Australia, where the spotlight is harsh and a country curiously revels in English misery more than its own team’s success, is that the only way to win is to win. Right now, that is something England have not done here for 17 consecutive Tests.
There is a nine-day gap before action resumes and, though the Ashes are unlikely to change hands from 2-0 down, jobs may well hinge on winning a match with the series still alive.
