Time for me to depart, thanks for your company and comments. Stay tuned for all the wrap up from day four.

Join us tomorrow for the final day of the 2025/6 Ashes series. Goodbye and toodle-oo.

“Morning Jim, to this very England of mornings. I woke up truly happy for Bethell getting his ton, as he’s shown many others more experienced than him how to do it.” Guy Hornsby writes.

“But you have to say from 219-3 this has been a bit of a calamity. A win was remote, but a draw felt possible if we’d kept our heads. But instead we decide to hand wickets to Australia’s 5th, 6th and 7th bowlers without much thought or skill. It’s a pretty great summing up of this tour. With so many failures - Jacks, Smith, Pope, Potts, plus erratic from our openers - you have to wonder where the team goes from here. So much win depend on management, but I could easily see Key, McCullum and Stokes in charge and mostly the same XI this summer. We have actively discouraged any succession plans with this team, and that is sadly coming to roost now.”

Beau Webster speaks after taking 3-51 with his off-spinners:

“I just tried to bowl my best ball. I don’t bowl them a hell of a lot to be honest. I think the less I bowl the spin in the nets the better. So when I do get them out in a game I’m not thinking too much and just try to hit the right area. We were lucky enough to get a couple.

“I wasn’t expecting Will Jacks to be that aggressive. I got lucky there with an inside edge but I got a bit of bite out of the rough and a hell of a catch by Cameron Green. He’s taken a stunner there.

“I loved batting here. It’s a really nice place to bat. Obviously the big scores have reflected that. I feel in good form and I’ve carried my form from the West Indies through to the start of the Shield and then here in the last Test. I just tried to make the most of it.

“We are very well placed. They have a lead and we’d like to mop up these two as quickly as we can with the new ball round the corner as well. Not sure I’ll get a run in the morning to snag a five-for. Hopefully the top-order boys will get the job done.”

“This is the biggest smile I have had on my face for a long time” says Michael Vaughan on Test Match Special.

“Jacob Bethell has played in a way that Test match cricket has been played for many generation. He had good balance and a good technique. It was a masterclass in technique and composure. It was a tricky pitch. The ball was moving around but the stroke play was brilliant - he did not try to over-hit it. He let the ball come and just caressed it.

Give me a Jacob Bethell over Harry Brook any day in Test match cricket.”

Ooof.

Day four report: Ali Martin’s first hit has landed from Sydney:

74th over: England 302-8 (Bethell 142, Potts 0) Bethell takes a single off the first ball of the over with a skewed flay into the off side. Potts then blocks out the rest from Webster.

Me old mucka Tim Sowula emails in:

“Morning Jimbo. Insane TNT moments for the Stokes wicket:

A few balls after Smith’s run out, Rob the lead commentator is fooled by the tv replay and commentates on that “oh no and Stokes is sent back, this is a carbon copy of the last run-out, Stokes is out.... [sheepish] Fortunately Alastair Cook is looking out the window, and he’s not out, that was a replay”. Cue a bit of gentle ribbing from Cook “well I hope you’ve woken up now” etc. Then Cook continues “But don’t panic everyone, Stokes is still here…” Next ball Stokes edges to first slip.”

I heard this live and it was an absolute stinker. Let’s just say the England team shouldn’t be the only ones doing a vigorous post mortem after the series.

73rd over: England 301-8 (Bethell 141, Potts 0) England bring up the 300, three runs accumulated by Bethell off Webster. Then yongster exuding calm despite all that has happened around him today.

72nd over: England 298-8 (Bethell 138, Potts 0) Bethell clips a single off Webster. England lead by 115, fifteen minutes left in the day. We’ll be coming back tomorrow… a victory of sorts…

71st over: England 298-8 (Bethell 137, Potts 0) We may see Bethell open the shoulders and go into white ball mode here.

Potts is the new man, England have two wickets left to eke out whatever they can, 22 year old Jacob Bethell is still in the middle on 137 not out.

70th over: England 296-7 (Bethell 136, Carse 16) Carse’s cameo continues, he bunts a four back past Webster for four more. England’s lead is up to 113 runs. Carse and Bethell have scored 29 runs in 4.4 overs… Steve Smith finally summons Scott Boland.

69th over: England 290-7 (Bethell 135, Carse 11) Carse blasts Travis Head down the ground for four to take England’s lead past 100. A single brings Bethell on strike. He rocks back and pulls for four more.

68th over: England 281-7 (Bethell 131, Carse 6) Bethell sweeps Webster behind square for four to take England’s lead to 99.

67th over: England 275-7 (Bethell 126, Carse 5) Labuschagne continues. Carse sees enough and swats a pull shot away for four. England have lost 4-48 from when Brook got out to Webster.

66th over: England 267-7 (Bethell 124, Carse 0) Brydon Carse is the new batter. Bethell is still there, can the tail support him as he tries to get England’s target over three figures? Webster completes a wicket maiden.

65th over: England 267-6 (Bethell 123, Stokes ) Ben Stokes hobbles out to the middle. This will not be pretty. He looks like can barely move. The Smith/Bethell run out was a calamity, Bethell probably ball watching, called Smith through then aborted.

Colum Fordham emails in and speaks for many.

“In the interview after Australia’s innings Jacob Bethell came across as surprisingly mature and modest, saying he didn’t think he deserved his place on the strength of his previous innings. He had just bowled 15 overs and got the wicket of Travis Head.
His forty at the MCG showed promise but no one, least of all himself, would have expected a maiden test century in these conditions. His learning curve is off the charts.
It makes it all the more extraordinary that Brook and Jacks should have thrown their wickets away so naievely and cluelessly, disregarding the extraordinary maturity of the youngster.

In a dispiriting Ashes, Bethell is a much-needed ray of sunshine for English test cricket. And England can even dare to dream.”

64th over: England 264-5 (Bethell 123, Smith 26) Smith rocks back to carve Beau Webster for four, England’s lead is up to 81 runs. Ben Stokes prowls in his pads on the team balcony.

63rd over: England 257-5 (Bethell 120, Smith 22) Marnus runs in keenly and peppers the middle of the pitch with his medium pace dross. You can absolutely see why Steve Smith has summoned him though. Jamie Smith doesn’t blink this time,

Marnus Labuschagne is coming on to bowl at Jamie Smith. Gulp.

61st over: England 250-5 (Bethell 117, Smith 19) Smith glides Neser for four past gully to take England’s lead up to 67 runs. Without Stokes’ bowling in the fourth innings England were always going to struggle to contain Australia no matter what they set them but this does feel like another missed opportunity to go with all the others in this series.

60th over: England 245-5 (Bethell 116, Smith 15) Travis Head replaces Beau Webster, gentle spin that England work around for five runs off the over.

59th over: England 240-5 (Bethell 112, Smith 14) Neser skims one past Bethell’s edge, the batter then responds with a drive into the covers for a single. Alastair Cook on TNT is lamenting England’s nous. They could have easily set Australia 200 to win on the final day tomorrow, that looks a fair way off now.

58th over: England 239-5 (Bethell 111, Smith 14) England work Webster around for six easy and calm runs. Are you watching Brook and Jacks? Are you??

“Sigh, another brainless passage of play.” Writes Aditya echoing the sentiments of plenty of you in the OBO mailbag right now.

“I think a new Yakov Smirnov line is warranted for this England team: ‘In Bazball, you don’t play situation. Situation play you’.”

57th over: England 233-5 (Bethell 110, Smith 9) Neser nearly picks up Smith with a full ball nipping back but an inside edge saves the batter.

56th over: England 232-5 (Bethell 110, Smith 8) Four singles worked off Webster. England lead by 49 runs.

55th over: England 228-5 (Bethell 108, Smith 6) We’ve got 75 minutes until stumps. Hell knows what we’re in for before the close. Ben Stokes is padded up and looks likely to come in next. How will he play? Three hour vigil for about 12 runs or one legged blitzkrieg for old times sake? Place your bets.

Bethell clips Neser for two runs. What an hour he has had, maiden test century and then watching his teammates implode from the non-striker’s.

54th over: England 225-5 (Bethell 106, Smith 6) Smith drives Webster for four with a compact cover drive. Webster replies with a beauty that grips and spits past the edge and into Carey’s gloves.

53rd over: England 221-5 (Bethell 106, Smith 2) Smith punches a single off Starc. How hard must it be for Smith out there now given the noise after his first innings dismissal and in the immediate stink of that Will Jacks’s dismissal?

52nd over: England 220-5 (Bethell 106, Smith 1) Ben Stokes has his pads on it appears.

51st over: England 220-5 (Bethell 106, Smith 1) England are now effectively 38-5 and in danger of losing today. Remember when Jacob Bethell got a ton?

Jamie Smith comes to the crease… anything you can do…

50th over: England 213-3 (Bethell 106, Brook 42) Phew. Everyone just gathers themselves after a pulsating twenty minutes. Harry Brook brings us all back down to earth with another step away and waft to Starc. Such a nothing shot and he was basically moonwalking whilst he was playing it.

“What is that?!” growls Jason Gillespie on TNT. Brook backs away again and hacks through the cordon for four. There is a sense of the inevitable here, Brook is not doing his talent justice.

Brook could actually learn something from the way Bethell has played, all clean line and crisp shapes. Measured class and calm, Bethell has pipped him to an Ashes ton. They are both so talented and will more than likely be the bedrock of England’s batting for the next decade. England lead by 36 and Ben Stokes is injured. Brook is acting captain, he needs to step up and strap his head on.

49th over: England 206-3 (Bethell 99, Brook 36) Behave Harry! Starc goes short and Brook aims a lazy waft over the slips but doesn’t connect. That would not have looked good had he feathered a tame catch behind. And again! Brook attempts the same shot off Starc’s fourth ball. A maiden from Starc with the final two balls speared down the leg side.

Right, here we go again. Boland to Bethell, the latter on 99.

48th over: England 206-3 (Bethell 99, Brook 36) Boland keeps Brook honest, pinning him on the crease with his unerring accuracy. Brook squirts an inside edge into the leg side for a single. Bethell has three ball against Scott Boland with 99 to his name. Deep breaths. All of the SCG is plugged in… DOT BALL. Bethell defends off his hip. Here comes Boland… DOT BALL. Bethell blocks on off stump, Boland is giving him nowt. The crowd cheer Boland in… immaculate from Boland. DOT BALL. Bethell remains on 99!

47th over: England 205-3 (Bethell 99, Brook 35) Bethell clips into the leg side to go to 99… my palms are sweaty. How are yours? Brook glides a single to bring Bethell back on strike with two balls left in the over. Is this the moment… his dad takes a deep breath and closes his eyes in the stands. Here comes Starc – phew a 90mpb short ball whistles past the helmet but Bethell drops his hands in time. Last ball of the over… Starc goes short once more and Bethell ducks the bouncer. What drama. England lead by 22 but that is very much the second most important story right at this very moment.

46th over: England 201-3 (Bethell 97, Brook 33) Brook gets a single off Boland’s first ball to bring Bethell on strike. He looks cool as anything but his ticker must be going like a castanet. Boland gives him nothing and beats him on the outside edge with a ball that nips away late. Maybe Bethell left it, we’ll give the benefit of the doubt. A single off the last ball means Bethell will keep strike and he now has his highest Test score, beating the 96 he got in New Zealand last winter. Oh look, Mitchell Starc is coming back into the attack…

45th over: England 199-3 (Bethell 96, Brook 33) Bethell rocks back and pulls Neser for four wide of mid on! He didn’t time it but got enough on it to beat the man in the deep. He is just one shot away from a maiden Test and First Class ton now. Four runs needed. He’s played magnificently with the odds well and truly stacked against him. The camera pans to his dad in the crowd looking incredibly nervous.

He’s just a shot away, he’s just a shot away!

44th over: England 195-3 (Bethell 92, Brook 33) Bethell moves into the nineties courtesy of four overthrows from Marnus! Boland’s incredibly thrifty figures suffer a needless boundary. A single takes the youngster to 92 and brings Brook on strike. Close! Boland nips one back in similar fashion to the ball he did Root with but Brook is saved by a meaty inside edge onto the pad. Four! Brook then dances down and whips the next ball over midwicket for four. Don’t go anywhere.

43rd over: England 186-3 (Bethell 87, Brook 28) Shot! Bethell leans on a length ball from Neser and eases it through the covers with high elbow for four runs. He really is a delight to watch. England bring the scores level and then move into the lead with nine runs in total off Neser’s over.

42nd over: England 177-3 (Bethell 81, Brook 25) Boland gets one to spit like a stroppy cobra, the ball rearing off a length and rasping past the edge of Brook’s bat. Carey shows off his lightning reflexes behind the stumps to take the ball in front of his face. Brook is beaten on the outside edge from a fuller ball, Boland is such a threat and has been all series long. Two singles off the over keep England ticking.

The players emerge for the final session of day four. Jacob Bethell is 21 runs away from a first Test and First Class century. He’ll have the indomitable Scott Boland to contend with first up. What can England set Australia? How will Harry Brook play? Will Bethell get three figures? Let’s find out.

Here’s a lovely bit of tea-time reading:

41st over: England 174-3 (Bethell 79, Brook 24) Harry Brook rocks back and larrups a wide ball from Beau Webster for four to take England into the tea break trailing by nine runs.

“Afternoon Jim, Gervase Greene here.”

4.14am here in deepest Sussex where I am Gervase but I’m splidding hairs. G’day.

“The SCG is such a wonderful ground to watch cricket. Not too massive, not too postage-stamp… just right, especially in this weather. OBO readers should know that seeing Scott Boland in the flesh is quite a revelation. Ball after ball, over after over, same-spot after same-spot… 135-137kph, and always threatening. We’ve all owned crap cars in our time - in my case, nothing but - and all I’ve ever wanted is a vehicle with Boland’s engine. He is quite remarkable.”

Beware the quiet man, he had a point to prove and it is fair to say he has done so in some style.

40th over: England 168-3 (Bethell 78, Brook 20) A throaty cheer goes up as Travis Head comes on for a on over of twirl. Trav tosses one up and Brook skips down to caress through cover for four. A drag down is carved for two and a brace of singles makes it eight off the over and England are just 15 adrift now. Brook and Bethell have racked up the fifty partnership in no time at all. We’ll have one more over until tea.

39th over: England 160-3 (Bethell 77, Brook 13) Beau Webster replaces the beleaguered Cam Green who seems to be constantly on the edge of tears despite or because of his IPL MEGABUCKS. Brook and Bethell rotate for a single each, if these two can bat through til stumps then England will have clawed themselves back in to the match with a day to go. Big if I hear you collectively groan.

38th over: England 157-3 (Bethell 75, Brook 12) Neser stitches together a maiden with a relentless attack on the top of off stump that Bethell negotiates with a straight blade and sound judgement. The camera pans to Will Jacks padded up and there’s no sign of Ben Stokes so we presume the skipper won’t come out to bat next should a wicket fall.

37th over: England 157-3 (Bethell 75, Brook 12) Fourteen runs off Green’s over as Alex Carey fumbles a dipping ball behind the sticks and the ball hits the helmet to gift England a bonus five runs. Yes I think they will take them. Brook flashes at a back of a length delivery and the edge flies over the cordon for four more. England trail by 26 runs and we’ve about ten minutes until the tea break.

36th over: England 143-3 (Bethell 71, Brook 7) Michael Neser replaces Scott Boland. Carey remains up to the stumps but Brook is watchful, knocking a couple of twos on top of the bounce into either side of the wicket. Neser has never looked more Hugh Jackman as Jean Val Jean in the film of Les Mis and yes I think you will find that is a compliment. Six off the over as England chip away at the deficit. Maybe they will be back for ONE DAY MORE tomorrow after all.

35th over: England 137-3 (Bethell 70, Brook 2) The SCG emits a collective purr as Jacob Bethell first pulls Cam Green for four with the utmost ease and then follows up the next ball with a crisp back foot drive through cover that takes the shot of the day award and sees him into the seventies.

34th over: England 127-3 (Bethell 61, Brook 1) Brook is off the mark with a glide past gully for a single. Boland is around the wicket and honing in on the pads and stumps, Alex Carey is up to the stumps once more in what has been one of the indelible images of this Ashes series and Australia’s relentless class. Bethell rides a sharply bouncing length ball and manages to scamper a gloved single to keep strike, the bleached ‘cheddar’ of his mullet billowing under his helmet as he puts a spurt on to make his ground.

Thanks Rob and hi everyone. I start this, my final OBO shift of the series, at the same time as Harry Brook starts his final innings of this Ashes, so it is only right that I tap out a few genuinely gobsmacking entries that have you all hailing my genius right before I throw my laptop at the chimney breast for some utterly unfathomable reason…

Joe Root drags himself from the field, his feast or famine Ashes tour ends in the latter but he’ll always have those two tons and who knows, he could yet be back in four years. Bethell most certainly will be on this evidence, he punches a sublime drive through cover off Cam Green that oozes class. No you stop it.

33rd over: England 125-3 (Bethell 60, Brook 0)

32nd over: England 117-3 (Bethell 55, Brook 0) That was the last ball of a wicket maiden from Boland. I cannot tell you how well he has bowled today. And I don’t have to, because I’m off. I’ll hand you over to the brilliant Jim Wallace for the rest of the day. Thanks for your company and emails over the last seven weeks; it’s been fun, most of the time.

31st over: England 115-2 (Bethell 55, Root 6) Starc decides to try his luck around the wicket to Bethell. That angle worked well for Mitchell Johnson against Michael Carberry in the 2013-14 Ashes, and left-handers can sometimes have a bit of a blind spot when a left-armer comes around the wicket.

Bethell misses an attempted hook before being hit on the pad as he jumps across his stumps. Too high for LBW, probably missing off stump as well, but this is nice bowling from Starc. Bethell composes himself and calmly plays out the rest of the over, a maiden.

30th over: England 115-2 (Bethell 55, Root 6) Boland beats Bethell with another computer-game delivery from around the wicket. If he carries on like this it’ll be a contender for The Joy of Six: Great Wicketless Spells.

Another majestic over ends with Root inside-edging a nipbacker into his hip before falling in a heap. Boland’s figures are 10-2-13-0, and the 0 is a minor scandal.

“I know I’m leaving this very late in the tour,” writes Stuart Silvers. “But am I the only person who likes to get up in the morning and follow the progress of the match ‘as live’ on the OBO? To avoid seeing the score and spoiling the surprise of the match unfolding over by over as I scroll upwards – I have to squint and half look away from the screen. Even then it often doesn’t work – ruining my morning train ride. Would it be possible for you to introduce a ‘stealth mode’ for away tours? Surely I can’t be the only reader who does this?”

Heh, I’ll ask the desk if they can add a function that allows you to reverse the text. I wouldn’t have the patience to do that; I’d get through two or three overs and then, if England were batting, start frantically searching for WICKET!

28th over: England 109-2 (Bethell 49, Root 5) Bethell took a lot of risks at Melbourne, a calculated response to the conditions, This has been a 20th-century Test innings, full of patience and secure defensive strokes. He’s needed a bit of luck, like every batter in the history of the game, but his tempo and tactical approach have been been spot on.

27th over: England 106-2 (Bethell 46, Root 5) A hint of width from Starc allows Bethell to cut stylishly for four. Swoon. In his fledgling career, Bethell has a superb record in the second innings, with 313 runs at an average of 78. He’s already scored more runs in the second innings of a Test than WG Grace, who made 22 appearanes to Bethell’s six.

Then again, WG Grace was WG Effing Grace.

26th over: England 99-2 (Bethell 39, Root 5) Boland changes ends to replace Neser. His second ball leads to an unsuccessful review against Root when a big nipbacker hits the flap of the pad and deflects to slip. Australia thought there might bave been some bat involved; for once Steve Smith made the wrong call.

The third umpire didn’t even bother checking for the LBW. Root looked well outside the line so there’s no controversy; only, perhaps, a minor cock-up.

Boland has Root hopping all over the place. He snarls one delivery past the outside edge, then cuts Root in half with another. That’s unbelievably good bowling.

25th over: England 98-2 (Bethell 38, Root 5) Boland off, Starc on – and Root almost gone when he snicks at catchable height between second slip and gully. Close, close, close.

24th over: England 93-2 (Bethell 37, Root 1) Batting at No3 in Australia is not a job for a young man. The last player aged 22 or under to do so for Australia was Ricky Ponting in 1996 – and he was dropped after two Tests in that position. Excluding nightwatchmen, the only players to do it in the last 30 years are Ponting, Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Jacques Kallis, Kane Williamson, Joe Root, KL Rahul, Babar Azam and now Jacob Bethell.

Of all those future greats, only Kallis made a century or averaged over 30.

23rd over: England 92-2 (Bethell 36, Root 1) Boland continues to pummel the imaginary shoebox on a good length, with a bit of seam movement back into Root. The cordon enquire politely for LBW when one such delivery hits the pad but Root was well outside the line and playing a stroke.

Boland is giving England nothing: his figures are 7-2-8-0.

22nd over: England 91-2 (Bethell 35, Root 1) Neser overpitches and is driven sumptously through mid-on for four by Bethell. Average players don’t play shots like that. I know I’m a lovesick teenager when Bethell bats but my goodness, he has it all.

Neser, who has seen it all before, responds by beating Bethell and then drawing a thick edge that bounces just short of gully.

21st over: England 86-2 (Bethell 30, Root 1) A beautiful delivery from Boland – fullish, in the corridor, straightening off the seam – beats Root’s defensive push. He is such a masterful performer. In fact, it’s an oddity that, of Australia’s three main bowlers in this match, Mitchell Starc is the only one with a bowling average in the twenties.

• Starc 26.54

• Boland 18.56

• Neser 17.31

20th over: England 86-2 (Bethell 30, Root 1) Michael Neser is having the time of his life. The wicket of Duckett was his 15th of the series at an average of less than 18 apiece. With stand-ins like that, who needs first-choice bowlers.

Neser almost gets his 16th wicket when Bethell chases a very wide delivery and is beaten. England trail by 97 runs.

19th over: England 85-1 (Duckett 42, Bethell 30) Scott Boland returns at the start of the afternoon session. Bethell, who looks least comfortable against Boland, is drawn towards a wider delivery that bounces past the outside edge.

“The more I reflect on it, the less upset I am about that Jamie Smith shot,” writes Eddy Nason. “Yes it was a village way to get out, but it was a long hop from Marnus that deserved some treatment. At least he was trying to put away the bad ball - just some out of nick execution on the shot.

“I think he’ll probably be replaced by James Rew for the start of the summer, but it shouldn’t be for that moment.”

I’ll be very surprised if they drop Smith; he’s had a rough trot but it’s only a few months ago that comparisons to Adam Gilchrist were irresistible. I suppose all bets are off after an Ashes shellacking. It may depend on whether there’s a change of coach.

18th over: England 83-1 (Duckett 41, Bethell 29) Neser starts the session with a no-ball before beating both Bethell and Duckett with excellent deliveries in the corridor or uncertainty.

Afternoon session

The players are back and ready to go to work. Michael Neser will continue to Ben Duckett.

Lunchtime reading

Tanya Aldred talks to the great Neil Harvey, the sweetheart of the all-conquering Invincibles.

15th over: England 76-1 (Duckett 38, Bethell 27) Bethell started smiling when he got to his feet, and not in a nervous way. That speaks to a rare temperament. When play resumes, Green rams in a bumper and Bethell snaps his head out of the way like Robin Smith in his magnificent pomp.

14.5 overs: England 76-1 (Duckett 38, Bethell 27) Green’s good balls are very good, but there’s too much loose stuff and Duckett laces an overpitched delivery through extra cover for four. This is now his highest score of the series.

The good ball comes later in the over, a monstrous lifter that hits Bethell on the side of the helmet, knocks him off his feet and flies over the slips for four leg-byes. Bethell will be checked for concussion. That was a brutal delivery, like something from Fire in Babylon.

14th over: England 65-1 (Duckett 32, Bethell 26) Bethell slashes Starc for a couple of boundaries between square on the off side – the first one was slightly streaky but safe enough. I’ll weep with joy if he makes a ce- no, I can’t go there.

13th over: England 57-1 (Duckett 32, Bethell 18) Cam Green replaces Neser and is pulled brusquely for four by Duckett. That brings up England’s fifty and reduces the deficit to 130. The Ashes are only jolly well coming home!

Duckett gets a bit lucky when a length ball hits him on the bottom hand and loops to safety on the off side. Green’s height should make him a bone-jarring proposition on a pitch that is slightly uneven. Not, however, if he rams the ball halfway down. Duckett jumps all over another short ball, pulling it for four to move into the flirty thirties. Those runs also bring up a good fifty partnership with Bethell.

“Hello from Sydney where it is seriously hot and humid this morning,” writes your friend and mine, Emma John. “Getting the tram to the ground was like rush hour on the Northern Line, if everyone at Clapham North had become incomprehensibly obsessed with Matthew Potts.

“Finally came to the end of my multi-state tour of Australian cricket museums this week and the verdict is in – MCG wins hands down, the Bradman Museum in Bowral is a worthy second and honourable mention must go to the Harrow Discovery Centre in the middle of the Victorian outback, which tells the comprehensive story of the 1868 Aboriginal touring XI and keeps Johnny Mullagh’s legacy alive. They even let me try on the Mullagh Medal, presented to the MCG Test’s PoM, and had only just come off Josh Tongue’s neck…”

12th over: England 49-1 (Duckett 24, Bethell 18) Duckett clips Starc crisply through midwicket for four. He’s in the twenties for the sixth time in the series; the problem has been getting past 34. In statistical terms, Duckett’s series has been a strange cousin of Mark Ramprakash’s debut against the West Indies in 1991 – even if Ramps had a strike rate of 28 to Duckett’s 94. Urgh, Ramps batted so beautifully in that series; why the hell did England leave him out in New Zealand the following winter.

“Worth noting also that Ollie Robinson has spent the last two months playing grade cricket at University of Sydney,” says Hugh Boyce, “and thanks to some histrionics in 2023 is perfectly poised to take Stuart Broad’s role of pantomime villain.”

Who could forget those nude nuts.

11th over: England 42-1 (Duckett 19, Bethell 18) Gorgeous stroke from Bethell, who times Neser between extra cover and mid off with just a gentle push of the bat. That’s his second boundary; he’s playing nicely.

10th over: England 36-1 (Duckett 19, Bethell 12) Starc changes ends to replace Boland and almost takes Duckett’s nose off with a ferocious lifter. Madon! Duckett widens his eyes and looks at the pitch; Starc smiles broadly.

8th over: England 33-1 (Duckett 16, Bethell 12) Boland’s accuracy and seam movement are so compelling that we sometimes forget how much lift he gets. He looks extremely unpleasant to face when he gets the odd ball to kick from a length. After Duckett is hit high on the bat, Bethell sways out of the way of a bouncer that flies over Carey for four byes.

“Haha shall we rank the worst moments of this series?” says a disconcertingly chipper Max Williams. “Or the dumbest shots? Or the most inane platitude spouted by the English management? (Smith dropping Head in Brisbane, Brook 2nd innings at Perth, ‘If anything we trained too much’.)

“Here’s a question: if England had taken all their catches, would they have won the series? Brainless batting, wayward bowling and all. In terms of net run contribution – runs scored by you vs an Australian after you dropped them – Smith and Duckett might be running in the negative.”

First you ask me to Rank and Rate, now you want me to Look at the Data!

7th over: England 26-1 (Duckett 15, Bethell 10) Michael Neser, part of that Thirtysomething XI, replaces Mitchell Starc. His second ball is too straight and clipped stylishly through midwicket for four by Bethell. I cannot wait to see how he develops in the 18 months between now and the return Ashes series.

“Oh the symbolism of Ben Stokes, worn down by the cares of captaincy, forlornly leaving the field with groin knack, whilst poor Zak Crawley is hoist without even waving his petard,” writes Brian Withington. “Alas and alack, but can Ben Duckett finally counter attack?”

This sorry scene makes me want to shout… what was that Eminem song called again?

6th over: England 18-1 (Duckett 14, Bethell 3) Bethell likes to vary his approach depending on conditions and the match situation. Today he is trying to survive, playing for his off stump, and has reached 3 from 19 balls. Duckett has 14 from 15.

“As well as the details of England’s selections, I think it’s time for a reassessment of the pool they pick from,” says Tom Hopkins. “I just don’t believe there aren’t equivalents of Webster and Neser out there and yet it seems that only bright young things need apply.

“For a number of reasons, I think the England set up needs to reconnect with the county game and I’d put their seeming lack of interest in this on the ‘time to go’ side of the McCullum and Key scales.”

That’s a good point, but I think it predates this management team. Australia have used uncapped thirtysomethings a lot better than England for decades. In fact, here’s an XI of Australian thirtysomething who have made their Test debut in the 21st century. Look at that attack!

Chris Rogers, Jake Weatherald, Brad Hodge, Adam Voges, Mike Hussey, Beau Webster, Alex Carey or Brad Haddin (wk), Michael Neser, Ryan Harris, Stuart Clark, Scott Boland.

England can’t even put out an XI. They have only six players who qualify: Mark Stoneman, Joe Denly, Sam Billings, Martin Saggers, Shaun Udal and Jon Lewis.

Is it too late to call up Darren Stevens?

5th over: England 17-1 (Duckett 14, Bethell 2) Starc swerves a jaffa past Duckett’s outside edge. Unless the player of the series award can be shared, I’d give it to Starc for his influence with ball and bat when the series was still live. He has never bowled better than he did in 2025 and, though he turns 36 in January, fast bowlers last much longer these days. It’ll be a big surprise if he isn’t leading the attack when Australia go to India and England next year.

4th over: England 15-1 (Duckett 13, Bethell 1) Bethell is beaten by some extra bounce from Boland, then tries to style it out by swivelling in his follow-through as if he was leaving the ball all along. Boland is interrogating Bethell’s technique, from from around the wicket and then from back over. A superb over ends with Bethell edging a defensive push just short of slip.

Let’s briefly accentuate the positive for England: even if he is out to the next ball he faces, Jacob Bethell will have learned so much from playing in these two Tests.

“You mentioned earlier that you think a better version of England’s approach can still cause problems for any side,” says Martin O’Donovan-Wright. “I kind of agree, but that’s as long as we’re limiting the discussion to batting, which is usually what people think of in the interminable Bazball debate. But it’s the bowling as much as the batting that’s at issue, and England never seem to be able to field their best bowling lineup due to injuries. Until that happens, it almost makes the rest of the debate redundant. And unfortunately, I don’t think the prime bowling unit that they wanted to field will ever feature as a unit again.”

That’s a very good point. England have lost nearly 2000 Test wickets since the 2023 Ashes, something that was lost in the excitement of having five bowlers who could hit 90mph. It’s not just the bowlers; they need to find a coach as well. I’d ask Anderson and Broad if they fancy sharing the job.

We probably need to forget the idea of a first-choice bowling attack; it’s just not realistic any more. That said, I do think the pace attack will look a lot different if England can lock in a new-ball expert. In unrelated news, Oliver Edward Robinson (born 1 December 1993) is an English professional cricketer. In domestic cricket, he plays for Sussex as a right-arm medium-pace bowler, having previously played for Yorkshire and Hampshire. He made his Test debut for England in 2021, and played 20 matches.

3rd over: England 15-1 (Duckett 13, Bethell 1) Duckett uppercuts Starc deliberately for a one-bounce four, then lasers another boundary through extra cover. He looks in the mood to have a bit of fun.

“Why is Ollie Robinson being picked unlikely?” wonders Peter Kelly. “What have I missed?”

It’s a complicated case: lotta ins, lotta outs, lotta what-have-yous. There was an excellent discussion about it on the Wisden podcast a few weeks ago.

2nd over: England 5-1 (Duckett 4, Bethell 0) Scott Boland opens the bowling for the first time since Perth. He’s been the unsung hero of Australia’s triumph and helped shape the series with outstanding spells on day two at Perth and day three (I think) at Brisbane. He beats Bethell with a ball that keeps low and is, for England, mercifully wide of the stumps.

“I’m not a fan of Cam Green playing at 5. I feel the biggest problem he’s dealing with is the sky-high expectations foisted onto him,” writes Rowan Sweeney. “Yesterday, he looked comfortable at 7/8 (on a very placid deck, admittedly). If we just left him there and accepted him as a world class gully fielder who’s a better-than-average bowler and a better-than-average batter, we’d see the most-better-than-average of him.”

I think you’re right about him at No5, but you can’t have him as a bits-and-pieces player, surely? Maybe you just commit to picking one of Green or Webster and give somebody else a decent run at No5.

1st over: England 4-1 (Duckett 3, Bethell 0) Jacob Bethell arrives for another day at Big School.

Crawley ends a frustrating series with 273 runs at 27.30. Starc, who is having the series of his life, isn’t done yet: he has 29 wickets at 18.96.

“Kia ora Rob, from Rotorua in Aotearoa/New Zealand,” writes Graeme Simpson. “Thanks to you and your OBO colleagues for staying up late. Always a great way to follow the cricket. With special interest as the Black Caps have a three-Test series with England coming up.

“If - and it’s a big if - most of our front line bowling line up are fit, then, they will be real trouble for England. Plus there’s depth in our batting, too. At least you’ll be able to follow that series in the day time. Best wishes for 2026, mate.”

And to you. That series could be loads of fun. I’d love to see a pace attack of Matt Henry, Will O’Rourke and Kyle/Jamieson/Jacob Duffy/Zak Foulkes/somebody else I’ve forgotten. O’Rourke looked sensational against England in 2024.

For the last time in this series, Zak Crawley and Ben Duckett walk out to face the music. Duckett is facing an unwanted bit of history – the last, and only, England opener to play five Tests in an Ashes series in Australia without making a half-century is Cyril Washbrook in 1950-51.

“Where does this series rank among 21st-century Ashes contests?” wonders Max Williams. “Definitely top in terms of English disappointment but as a sporting spectacle? I’d place it third bottom.

“The Covid series was the worst, and the 2017-18 tour utterly unmemorable. Then this shambles. 2001 and 2002-23 were even more one-sided but showcased a truly great Australian team and a couple of heroic English victories. Both whitewashes contained multiple iconic moments – Adaleide, Mitchell Johnson – and a dramatic weight that this series simply lacks.

“Best, you ask? I won’t insult your intelligence but I’d place 2023 second and 2019 third – boasting arguably the greatest Test match ever counts for a lot. Feels like 2009 should be up there – 1-1 going into the deciding Test – but the matches themselves weren’t great.

“And yes, the respective locations of all the close ones and all the thumpings tells you an awful lot about our respective cricketing nations.

Max, I love you but please don’t make me do a Rank and Rate. Not tonight, not after seven weeks of sleep deprivation. (I pretty much agree with everything you say anyway, except that I’d put this series bottom. Not just of 21st-century Ashes contests, but of every Test series, ever, including India 1-0 England with five draws in 1981-82.

132nd over: Australia 560-8 (Webster 67, Starc 2) We’ve spoken about most of England’s selection decisions, from the spinners to the openers to Jamie Smith. It’s also really important they find a specialist new-ball bowler. Ideally it would be Ollie Robinson, who remains England’s best Test bowler for my coin, but that looks unlikely. I think Sam Cook deserves a proper chance

A weary delivery from Carse to Webster flies away for four leg-byes. Australia lead by 176 runs.

131st over: Australia 553-8 (Webster 65, Starc 1) If Webster does get a regular place in the side, there’s a chance Cam Green will be moved up to replace Usman Khawaja at No5. The only other selection decision is around Jake Weatherald. You fear for him a bit, especially with a trip to South Africa coming up.

In other news, the question of the day comes from Alex Netherton.

With England washed-up, knackered, and almost totally hopeless - a last dead cat bounce now about to ker-splat into the dusty ground - why do you think the Guardian thought you were suited for this shift in particular?

130th over: Australia 550-8 (Webster 64, Starc 0) Webster pulls Carse smoothly and serenely for four. Really good player, this guy, and he surely deserves a run in the team for the next year or so.

“We’re told a Bazball article of faith is ‘moving the game along’,” says Darryl Accone. “It’s clear from this Test alone, however, that applying such a credo indiscriminately has the effect of advancing the game to the opposition’s advantage, as shown by the sporadic headlessness of Brook, Jamie Smith and the England pace battery, among others.

“In contrast, Australia know both that time is longer than rope and that Test cricket is ‘per ardua ad astra’ (through adversity to the stars). Quaint ancient practices like taking time to play yourself in and batting time are what have helped bash Bazball in the end.”

I’m loath to judge the merit of England’s approach based on this series, for one main reason: England have been crap. They played orthodox Test cricket four years ago and were plugged 4-0, because they were crap then too.

Ach, I don’t know. I’m sleep-deprived and grumpy. I still think a better version of this approach can cause problems for any team, as we saw for much of the 2023 series.

129th over: Australia 544-8 (Webster 59, Starc 0) Smith gets a standing ovation after making his 13th Ashes hundred. Like Joe Root’s century earlier in the game, it was a low-key masterclass from an all-time great.

128th over: Australia 542-7 (Smith 136, Webster 58) England hit Australia with a five-man pace attack on the first day at Perth. Brydon Carse is the last man standing and continues to charge in with intent, if not always accuracy. A poor ball is tickled for four by Webster to bring up the hundred partnership. England are face down in the dirt and there’s nothing they can do about it.

126th over: Australia 531-7 (Smith 135, Webster 49) Apologies, we’re having some technical issues at the start of play. Smith and Webster have already hit a boundary apiece off Stokes and Carse respectievly.

125th over: Australia 524-7 (Smith 135, Webster 42)

It’s another early start today, with a two-and-a-half-hour morning session to make up some of the time lost on the first day. The players are getting ready to take the field.

They do things well in Australia. On the first day of this fifth Test came a fitting tribute to the victims and first responders of the Bondi ­atrocity, and on the third day the Sydney Cricket Ground was turned into a sea of pink to once again raise funds for the McGrath Foundation.

Out in the middle, however, Australian charity was in far shorter ­supply. Across three sessions their batters ground England’s bowlers into the dust, answering any questions about their motivation since ­securing the Ashes and throwing up a few more about their beaten opponents.

Faces flush from the ordeal, Ben Stokes and his team trudged off at stumps seeing pink elephants. Steve Smith’s 37th Test century, 129 not out from 205 balls, had followed the ­second half of Travis Head’s sizzling 163 from 166, and with it Australia had reached 518 for seven from 124 overs. The lead sat at 134 runs overnight and looked an ominous one.

The legendary Neil Harvey, 97, talks to Tanya Aldred in a charming interview.

I’ve been disappointed in England. I think the way they approach the batting side of things, they get too reckless, nobody seems to want to build an innings, like a Cowdrey or a Boycott.

It might work against ordinary teams but when you get a class side like Australia it’s a different ballgame. I used to score runs relatively quickly, and everyone gets a lot of enjoyment out of it, but when you try to play this Bazball thing it takes the odds away from winning an important Test. I’d like to see them pull their hooves in.

Forty-five minutes into a quietly overcast morning at the Sydney Cricket Ground, Matt Potts came into the England attack from the Randwick End, and immediately began running through his variations.

His first ball was wide and smashed through cover by Travis Head. His second ball was both short and wide and hacked over gully by Travis Head. His third ball was short and straight and smashed past midwicket by Travis Head. His fourth ball was defended with a show of furrowed caution, to loud, mocking cheers from a crowd that had begun to tuck into the day. Welcome to the treadmill, Pottsy. And yes, it’s always like this around here.

There was a time, while Steve Smith was at the height of his batting prowess, when “best since Bradman” was used with confidence. The thing about that line is that even when the recipient has dominated for years, it gets applied too quickly, given the point of comparison is a career-lasting two decades. Lots of players reach the top for a time, no other has stayed as long. Smith was untouchable for six years before returning to the realm of the merely very good.

The combination of those phases, though, took him to a rare position on the third day of the fifth Test in Sydney. In the statistics of the game there are milestones, then there are mountaintops. For a long time in Smith’s Ashes-heavy career there have been two peaks drawing gradually closer in the mist. Donald Bradman’s 5,028 runs against England is one that even Smith will never climb. Jack Hobbs’s 3,636 runs against Australia is the one he ascended on Tuesday.