HARRY’S GAME
The most prolific striker on the planet for one of the biggest and most successful clubs in the world, a captain of his country who could possibly lift the World Cup this summer (ending what is now 60 years of hurt), a husband with four kids who is almost universally respected by fans, opponents and his peers, and a brand ambassador for global brands thanks to deals brokered by towering Mr 15% Charlie Kane, Harry Kane has a lot going for him. So why has the England superstar been such a target for Social Media Disgrace trolling in January?
For all you dinosaurs, boomers and millennials who do not have your finger on the pulse of The Internet – like a modern day Hugh Abbott catching up on the week’s topical slang words and EastEnders highlights with Malcolm Tucker’s Zeitgeist Tape – Kane has unfairly copped a fair amount of stick recently. Take the sketch featuring Kane as a sleep paralysis demon, which in fairness is pretty good, but an unfair assassination of the striker’s interview technique and constant hunt for marginal gains. A further blow for Kane came at the weekend, not only because Bayern Munich actually lost, but also because their conquerors Augsburg had the brass neck to joke online after their 2-1 win that Kane “didn’t show up”. Kane has 21 league goals this season, one fewer than the entire Augsburg team.
It is precisely because Kane is so good at kicking a football on the pitch and so free of controversy off it that people feel the need to take aim. The serenity with which he has taken to life in Germany since his move in 2023 has been admirable and it’s not a surprise to learn that Kane is in talks to extend his contract, with the current deal set to expire in 2027. “Harry has great confidence in us and he feels comfortable in Munich,” trilled Bayern suit Jan-Christian Dreesen, who appeared more zen than Jacob Rees-Mogg on a yoga retreat. “He and his family are settled in,” continued Dreesen. “Therefore, we’ve got absolutely no reason to rush.” After a 14-year career in England that earned exactly zero trophies with Spurs, few would argue with Kane wanting to extend a glittering stay with Bayern as the 32-year-old charges towards another Golden Boot and the German giants march towards yet another Bundesliga title.
Bayern are also one of the favourites to conquer Europe this season and could yet top the Bigger Cup league phase with victory over PSV on Wednesday. One potential snag, and potentially a reason why they might want to get a move on with Kane’s new deal, is that the Englishman’s contract currently includes a £57m release clause, active this summer, with Barcelona apparently very keen on replacing one former Bayern striker (Robert Lewandowski) with another. A move to Spain could be risky for “H”, who is expected to sign on Bayern’s dotted line and put those rumours – much like that sleep demon – to bed.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“It’s an unpleasant situation. We had agreed a new situation with Dro [Fernández] for when he turned 18 and surprisingly his agent informed us that he couldn’t fulfil what had been agreed” – Barcelona’s fresh and funky chief suit, Joan Laporta, reacts to news that the club’s latest supremely talented sprite has hot-footed it to PSG after the Bigger Cup champions triggered his £5.2m release clause and then – and you’ll like this – tipped the Catalans an extra £1.7m as a gesture of goodwill.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
The world is indeed a screwed up place when Sepp Blatter’s utterings start making sense. Oh Gianni, what have you done?” – Krishna Moorthy.
Big Website’s Michael Butler misses the point about his stay in the Radisson Hotel, Blackpool. The hotel’s strategy is to provide its customers with a pleasant experience undisturbed by the goings on outside the bedroom window. They don’t want bad reviews from customers forced to watch the match” – Deryck Hall (who may be a Preston fan).
We are now very accustomed to seeing many, many minutes of additional time being added on to the old-fashioned ‘90’ that we all grew up with … but last weekend the free-climber Alex Honnold needed only one minute of ‘Fergie time’ to complete his ‘look no hands!’ climb of Taipei 101 without the aid of a safety net, parachute or indeed anything more sophisticated than a bag of chalk dust. Footballers, take note” – Allastair McGillivray.
Re: the snowed off Turkish third-tier match (yesterday’s Football Daily letters). Where oh where were referees like this in the Lichfield League, circa 1990? Aside from letting us play in any and every weather they also let us play on pitches with more rocks than a geology classroom. Oh, and I was watching Roma v Milan: were they playing with an orange ball because of De Winter?” – Antony Train.
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Allastair McGillivray. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
RECOMMENDED LOOKING
It’s David Squires on … Manchester United giving Arsenal the title wobbles.
This is an extract from our daily football email … Football Daily. To get the full version, just visit this page and follow the instructions.
