21 min Arsenal have appeared into the game, Raya finding Martinelli with a long pass, but his cut-back misses everyone.

20 min “I can’t help with the concept of ‘tachlis’,” says Andy Gordon, “but ‘shanguish’ is what Sean Connery has at lunchtime.”

20 min …and this time it’s cleared properly at the first attempt, so Arsenal build again.

18 min This time, the corner half-cleared then, out of naewhere, Hincapie flings himself into a shot from 25, Sanchez flying to high right to parry but without getting the ball around the post … and Gabriel is lurking! But the ball comes to o quickly, he can’t rearrange his feet, and the chance evaporates … but shortly afterwards, Arsenal win a free-kick which Rice will swerve in…

17 min Still, though, Madueke’s delivery is decent and Hincapie is up, his header hitting Fofana’s arm, raised for leverage as he jumps, and going behind for another corner.

16 min For the first time, Arsenal set Madueke at Cucurella, who looks beaten but bites back to concede a corner. As Enzo Maresca did, Rosenior sends three players forward, to limit bodies in the box.

15 min Arsenal have barely had a touch in the Chelsea half and as soon as they get Martinelli on the ball, Caicedo crunches in to a challenge, then the flag goes up for offside.

13 min Delap would frustrate the life out of me if I played for – a reach, granted – or supported his team. You’re trying to build pressure, then he gives away an attention-seeking foul and it’s gone – as he’s just done with Hincapie.

12 min It’s been a slow start, a state of affairs that won’t displease either manager.

11 min Joan Pedro is playing up close to Saliba, generally speaking more Delap behaviour. my guess is that Rosenior is hoping to use the latter’s pace and ball-carrying where there’s space, in a way not dissimilar to how Gyokeres played in Portugal.

9 min “Is the Chelsea-Arsenal rivalry really at the ’despise’ level?” wonders Julian Menz. “Maybe, but I spent years living up North (admittedly Muswell Hill is a bit of a Spurs/Arsenal watershed) and never had any problems with Gooners. I even went to the odd game at Highbury, followed by a pint down the Blackstock Road.”

My experience of living in London is that it is, and the aforementioned Mourinho certainly did all he could to amp it up.

8 min Nice touch from Eze, turning adroitly back to Zubimendi, and Arsenal build down the left, then move the ball back inside. I’d really like to see more risk in their passing – and more combination play between their front players – but in the circumstances, understand they they play backwards, even if they probably shouldn’t.

7 min Oooh, we see footage of Timber stiff-arming Cucurella in the coupon. He’s done well to get away with that – in different circumstances, he’d have been booked. Anyroad, Chelsea cross from the right, Saliba takes a heavy touch, and Delap, seizing on to the loose ball, thrashes wide of the near post.

5 min “Here in Ecuador,” flosses Matthew Carpenter-Arevalo, “this game is a big deal: two players, Moises Caicedo and Piero Hincapie, both from the same academy, are facing each other. Both come from two very economically challenged parts of the country, and when they play against each other, millions of kids feel slightly differently about their prospects and potential.”

Lovely stuff.

4 min It’s absolutely caning down with rain, by the way – though not enough to become amusing, at least not yet. Otherwise, it’s Chelsea with the ball, but so far we’ve seen nothing approximating to action.

2 min Chelsea seem to be playing a 5-2-3, with Pedro in the centre of the attack, Fernandez on the left and Delap on the right. I guess the defenders will have to jump into midfield, but otherwise, the plan is to cede possession, while keeping numbers at the back and up front.

1min “You’re right that all goals are created equal, Daniel,” says Justin Kavanagh. “However, as Chelsea will discover should they score first tonight, some goals are created more equalising than others.”

We hold these truths to be self-evident…

1 min Away we go!

The Arsenal players huddle, and North London Forever comes over the PA. The watching public duly convulse in collective cringe, blood fizzy and teeth itching.

The lights go down, then up, and our teams emerge.

“Lo, these many years, I have thought that I was here due to an over-celebration by my parents the night of QE II’s coronation,” writes David C Hunter. “I know, so patriotic of them. But now you are telling us it is because of concreteness.”

Must. Not. Make. A Double. Entendre. Fnarr fnarr.

Other Arsenal news:

Arteta likes pace on both wings, one reason, I imagine, why we see rarely see Eze play there – the form of Trossard and Martinelli is another. I don’t think the midfield role is right for him at Arsenal – he’s a free spirit who’ll inevitably make mistakes as he looks to perform magic, so shuttling back and forth doesn’t really suit him. But this is a big night for him, because a good performance and perhaps he keeps his place for the weekend; if he doesn’t, he’ll almost certainly be back on the bench. Ultimately, Arteta prefers predictability to artistry and Eze’s numbers have never been compelling, so the lack of apparent synergy between them isn’t especially surprising.

I’m really interested to see how Joao Pedro and Delap do tonight. The former is in fine form and can, I think, develop into an elite strike if he adds a bit of intensity and mongrel to his game. Delap, on the other hand, could do with losing a bit – he wastes far too much time and cedes far too many free-kicks, at least as far as the eye test tells me initiating contact trying to show fans how hard and committed he is. The best centre-forwards look to pin defenders sometimes, but mainly try and avoid them.

“Can I make the somewhat talmudic point that in fact the talmudic concept is to be written and pronounced takhlit (תכלית),” begins Yonatan Ginzburg, “whereas the yiddisher takhles means ‘concreteness’ i.e. what Cristiano Ronaldo lacked in his early Man Utd days and in later days is nothing more than? But scholars have observed that the yiddisher pronunciation of takhlit is accepted in certain areas of the diaspora...”

This is why we’re all here!

“Gyökeres might, indeed, find space behind the wing-backs,” agrees Charles Antaki. “There is an infinity of things he might do, and if you were to rank them in order of probability (a futile exercise, though, if they are genuinely infinite) I’m not sure where that would come. I don’t want to betray my feelings about the fellow, but I would guess that what might come higher is galumphing about, usually to no great purpose, and bearing a perpetually bewildered expression when the camera catches him after a particularly egregious bit of nonsense. Anyway, good luck to him and may he score a hatful tonight.”

It was a strange purchase, wasn’t it? Unlikely to improve enough to be good enough and even less likely to find the Premier League as amenable to his strengths as the Primeira Liga. I guess if we look at him as another option, rather than a guaranteed first pick, it makes a little more sense, but in that circumstance, why not try and get Sesko?

Not, I’m afraid, as gratifying as the return of baggy trousers, but the 90s revival now in fashion continues here with Merse and jamie Redknapp in the studio. They played against each other in the 1998 League Cup semi, both scoring as Boro went to Wembley, where they lost to Chelsea.

Chelsea, meanwhile, are looking to bottle up the centre of the pitch – just as Manchester United did when they visited the Emirates. Offensively, they’ll try and get the ball into Delap and play off him, with Joao Pedro probably just off him, likewise Enzo Fernandez, both roaming and daring defenders to follow them. Otherwise, though, I don’t imagine they’d mind 0-0 with 20 to go, so will look to be solid, absorb pressure and take whatever comes their way, rather than push the pace from the outset.

So where is the game? Arsenal will look to get at Chelsea in wide areas with Madueke likely to be important. I’d probably have played White, with Timber on the left, now that you don’t ask, to increase the threat, and I’ve been enjoying Martinelli off the bench this season, but he starts ahead of Troassard. Otherwise, look for Eze to slide passes down the sides of the outside centre-backs for Gyokeres, who might find space behind the wing-backs, while I’d also expect rampaging third-man runs from Rice.

Email! “Can the mythical force of ‘tachlis’ be likened to what Mourinho brought to Chelsea two decades ago?” wonders Julian Menz. “Or is it closer to the (forget the word, sorry) spirit that surges through the Pakistan cricket team on occasions?”

The former – Mourinho is pure tachlis, no messing about with feelings and maybe. Haal, as experienced by Pakistan, is more like a flow, or being in the zone; the closest tachlis-type word I can come up with is kavanah, which means a kind of intense intentionality, to the exclusion of all else.

Arteta says Arsenal are going to go for it – the aim is to go and win the game from the first minute, as they do in every game. He doesn’t think Saka is too badly hurt but will know more tomorrow, and also hopes Odegaard will be ready for the weekend.

Eze, he says, has earned the start, and Arsenal have prepared to face a three and four at the back, knowing Rosenior has used both formations in his career.

The 3-5-2 makes some sense, I guess. It allows three centre-backs to head set-pieces away, while Gabriel and Saliba don’t often face twin centre-forwards – though it may also be the case that Joao OPedro roams.

Rosenior is happy with the spirit and intensity his players have shown and says he knows that they can play well enough to go through. When they’re at their best, they’re very very difficult to play against, but need almost the perfect night, set-pieces ad tactically, in order to go through.

Asked about a formation that looks like a 3-5-2, he says he’d be crazy to confirm the tactics in advance but adds that Reece James failed a fitness test, while he’s managing Cole Palmer’s minutes and Estevao has returned from Brazil but isn’t fit enough to start.

Otherwise, the subs will be crucial, so who Chelsea have in reserve to finish the game is almost more important that the XI that starts.

Back to the teams, and it transpires that, as rumoured, Arsenal must do without Bukayo Saka and Martin Odegaard; Noni Madueke and Eberechi Eze, who replaced them at Leeds, keep their places. Otherwise, Victor Gyokeres continues up front, in preference to Kai Havertz and Gabriel Jesus.

Housekeeping: the away goal rule doesn’t operate – good, why should the basic truism that all goals are equal be compromised – so if we’re level on aggregate at full-time, we’ll move to extra time, with penalties to follow, if required.