APOCALYPSE CIAO!

Watching 10-man Italy blow their last chance to qualify for this summer’s Geopolitics World Cup, Football Daily couldn’t help but remember the schoolmasterly ticking-off with which the legendary commentator Barry Davies admonished a similarly depleted team of their predecessors 24 years ago. That particular iteration of Italy had at least made it to the summer jamboree, but upon seeing them being dumped out in the last 16 by co-hosts South Korea at Daejeon World Cup Stadium, Davies said what the rest of us were thinking: “And the Italians are out because they never learn,” he clucked. Of course, it could also be argued the Italians were out because they were the victims of what could charitably described as a series of farcical refereeing decisions, but their natural inclination towards extreme caution certainly didn’t help.

Italy’s once comical (and often successful) over-reliance on Catenaccio was all too evident in Zenica on Tuesday night after Rino Gattuso’s team went a goal up and a man down against a Bosnia and Herzegovina side who equalised with 11 minutes of normal time remaining before claiming their place at the GWC through spot-kicks. Having been spotted celebrating their hosts’ penalty shootout win over Wales last week, assorted members of the Italy squad could be seen crying salty tears when Esmir Bajraktarevic beat Gianluigi Donnarumma from 12 yards, preventing the four-times winners from making it to the World Cup for the third time on the bounce. While Italy squandered at least one excellent chance to double their lead before losing Alessandro Bastoni to a red card, Bosnia and Herzegovina ran out more than worthy winners and, as is customary, the Italian press greeted their team’s failure with the kind of calm and measured criticism we’ve come to expect.

“VIA TUTTI!” (Everyone out!) screamed Tuttosport’s front page headline over a photo of a bereft Francesco Esposito lying prone on the turf with head in hands. It set the tone for a series of furiously gesticulatory media-wide polemics through which words like “disaster”, “consequences”, “humiliation”, “apocalypse” and “nightmare” were liberally sprinkled. “The boys didn’t deserve this beating for their performance, their commitment, their love,” moped Gattuso, Italy’s soon-to-be former head coach. “We had three chances to score. It’s a shame, that’s football. I’m proud of my boys. It hurts because this World Cup was important for us, for our families, for all of Italy, and for our movement. It’s a hard blow for everyone to swallow.”

As Italians everywhere cried into their Negronis, the mood could scarcely have been more upbeat in Bosnia, where not for the first time in recent months, Edin Dzeko posted Social Media Disgrace footage of himself leading a late-night/early morning sing-song. While the veteran striker’s age is unlikely to prevent him making an impact at this summer’s GWC, Football Daily can’t help but feel that at 40 years old, it’s probably time Dzeko stopped hanging around Sarajevo nightclubs. Like your increasingly uncool Football Daily, it’s time he learned.

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Yara El-Shaboury at 5.45pm for Women’s Bigger Cup quarter-final updates on Bayern Munich 2-0 Manchester United (5-2 agg), while Will Unwin will be on hand at 8pm for Chelsea 1-0 Arsenal (2-3 agg).

QUOTE OF THE DAY

It’s the best night of my life and I’ve had some wonderful nights, you know, stories with Östersund and European adventures and [Bigger Cup], Premier League wins, but this just feels like more. You can feel the atmosphere in the ground. It’s very rarely you go to football places and feel that. I think when you’re a national team … you’re working for more than yourself, so when you add all that up and then put the context of the game and the environment and the atmosphere, it was just a special moment” – he’s not had the easiest couple of years so Graham Potter was careful to make sure he fully enjoyed basking in the glow of success after Sweden’s thrilling 3-2 GWC playoff win over Poland.

FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS

The game against Japan showed how useless England are. The unrealistic expectations are unbelievable!!!” – Jeff Sax.

Not sure Fifa suit Arsène Wenger’s suggestion that daylight must be between the attacker and defender (yesterday’s Football Daily Off Course section) is going to be helpful resolving offside decisions in all situations. What about evening matches? Will refs have to carry torches now, or perhaps one of those seasonal affective disorder light panels? Or is VAR planning to utilise pitch-side laser beam daylight analysis, which is likely to further increase decision deliberations to their existing infinite Matrix Time ponderings? And which might lead to possible permanent blindness for those persistently diving forwards who roll around on the ground just a little too long to avoid Fifa-sanctioned laser-frazzled retinas. Although granted some free laser-eye surgery might benefit one or two number nines I can think of. And what about those 5.30pm kick-off twilight zone offsides? Blimey. Thanks, Arsène” – Steve Malone

Thank you for the story on how Vindaloo was created – I must admit, I hadn’t realised the connection with Vindaloo and Waterloo, but it is very clever. Scotland’s Colourbox’s fantastic Official Colourbox World Cup Theme from ‘86 immediately came to mind as well for this category. Famous for being rejected by both BBC and ITV, I first heard it on a 4AD compilation album, and I can’t wait to blast it out in June! It just needs Alan Partridge previewing the tournament with this soundtrack” – Tom Pratt.

Being one of the authors of Monday’s ‘four superb letters’, I would like to announce that being inducted into Andy Morrison’s fanclub is better than a prizeless letter o’ the day, which I have won a few times!” – Nigel Sanders.

When Brighton visit Spurs on 18 April, will it be called Ze Derbi?” – Phil Taverner.

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Phil Taverner. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

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