In an increasingly desperate attempt to move the rugby season on beyond Sir Clive, I have stumbled upon the inner world of second-row forwards, which is as far from the noble knight as it is possible to be. He was a centre and is always, it seems, the centre of attention. And they are not.

Strange as it may appear, however, the second row is dead sexy nowadays. There was a time when the old lock position was as glamorous as rotting cabbage. You leant all over your opponent at the line-out, you grunted in the scrum and you walked around looking for a ruck to hit And that was it.

Now, the second row is projected like a ballerina into the sky, there to look down on smaller mortals. The scrums are less of a slog and there are loads of trendy things like ball-carrying and tackling in which to engage. The hulks of the game are now its streamlined rockets.

One of the best second rows in the world right now is Nathan Sharpe of Australia. He has been a slow-burner, which big players often are. He has been around for quite a time, but at 26 has suddenly started to make an impression. In the new age that has followed the last World Cup, he is the first to step out and make the entire field his own, which is what Martin Johnson did last November.

The good news for those second rows due to face Sharpe in the autumn internationals is that the new king will not be travelling with the Wallabies, because of injury. The other bit of news from the Wallaby camp is that their newly appointed forwards coach, David Giffin, who has only just hung up his big second-row boots, will not be travelling either. His son Joshua, aged two-and-a-half, is seriously ill.

Nor shall we be seeing a second-row forward by the name of Willie Steenkamp. Not that he would have been coming with the Wallabies. Willie is - was - a South African second-row forward, who has just been done for the second time for steroid abuse. He has been handed a lifetime ban, which shows how seriously the South Africans are taking drugs in rugby - sorry, the issue of drugs in rugby. Or the sentence is a tacit acknowledgement that they are very worried about wholesale misuse of chemicals down there.

And, from the brave new world of second-row forwards, that is that. Which means that we can only return to the theme of the season: Sir C. He has gone and done it again: pinched the headlines. Not so long ago he was sending sheep-shagging emails to Welshmen who slagged off his England.

Now he's spending a week with the Welsh team, invited by coach Mike Ruddock to share information on the ways of Graham Henry. It might be pointed out that the Welsh should know a whole heap more about Graham Henry - and his assistant Steve Hansen - than Sir C. They were coached by the pair for five years after all. And another thing: Wales came a whole lot closer to beating the All Blacks last year than Woodward managed on his final fling with England in the summer.

But hey, this is the season of the Lions and Sir C is preaching universal harmony among the home unions. The more he can get the Welsh on board the better. He might also, as a backs coach, pick up some useful tips from a three-quarter line that could make England's backs look a little wooden.

Wouldn't it be funny if Sir C found fulfilment and togetherness among the Welsh? And then Scotland, followed by Ireland. That the Celts took his hand of friendship and said, 'For you and the Lions, anything.'

And wouldn't it be strange if he found things slightly more strained among his former charges? If one country is going to cut up rough when it comes to fitting in extra sessions for the Lions it will be England. Or, if not England at Twickenham level, then England among the club owners.

England, the way they are going at the moment, are not going to provide quite as many players for the tour of next summer as we might have thought 10 months ago. But they will still be the biggest contributors. And Woodward needs them to be co-operative.

For harmony to reign all round Sir C will need somebody immense at the playing helm. And for that to happen he must surely be tempted to travel not just to Wales, but to a certain property in Leicester and ask Martin Johnson to step out one more time. Which brings us back to the singular importance nowadays of the second row.

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