Nothing has run smoothly for England over the past month and their litany of problems has been further extended by Mike Tindall, who has suffered a back strain and is out of today's opening Six Nation match with Italy. Newcastle's Jamie Noon will replace him in the English midfield, after Martin Johnson finally confirmed Tindall's withdrawal last night.
The 30-year-old Tindall picked up the injury in the gym to complete a grim few days for Johnson, already forced to make an emergency change at scrum-half after Danny Care slipped on icy steps and damaged ankle ligaments. It took the England camp about 48 hours to acknowledge the Care-less whispers were true and Tindall's latest misfortune, an open secret within the squad yesterday morning, was another example of ponderous communication. If England are as slow around the pitch today as they are in keeping their fans informed, it could be a long afternoon.
In Johnson's defence it has been an unenviable few days. England were unable to have their traditional captain's run at Twickenham because of the wintry conditions yesterday and are now lacking at least half a dozen players the management were hoping to field. Lewis Moody, Tom Rees, Michael Lipman, Toby Flood, Ugo Monye, Dan Hipkiss, Care and Tindall are all hors de combat and Matt Stevens will not be back in contention any time soon following his positive drug test. The personable Noon will never let any team down but Tindall's absence is a significant setback, not least in terms of the leadership qualities he can offer.
It also raises fresh queries about Mathew Tait's place in the pecking order, the Sale player having become the third bench replacement to be overlooked for promotion to the starting line-up. It should be crystal clear by now that England are battening down the hatches, overwhelmingly intent on weathering the early Azzurri storm and building pressure through no-nonsense methods alone.
The importance of patience and discipline has also been stressed. "I don't think we've got a disciplinary problem but, if that's a perception, we have to end it right now," warned Johnson. "We don't want to give them cheap yards."
Johnson also says he is "optimistic that we can play a lot better than we did in the autumn" and it will be no surprise if Steffon Armitage does English rugby's new first family proud by thriving on his Test debut. Tucked away at the back of English minds, though, is the unthinkable prospect of defeat against opponents who have never beaten them. It should not happen but the Italian scrum is as good as any and Mauro Bergamasco's presence at scrum-half supplies them with a third flanker around the breakdown.
"We're not going to lose, we're going to win," said England's No8, Nick Easter, yesterday, claiming his side could yet challenge for this season's title. "What matters is how we feel inside the camp and we think we can win it."
A classic is distinctly unlikely but Italy will be hopeful of causing their hosts maximum anxiety, particularly if they score early and do not get up the nose of the South African referee, Mark Lawrence, who is more sympathetic to attacking sides at the breakdown. On their last trip to Twickenham two years ago the Italians lost by 13 points and there was a mere four-point margin in Rome last year. Since then several Azzurri forwards have been modelling Dolce and Gabbana underwear on giant posters strategically placed around London. Even if England do retain their modesty today, they will have to work hard for it.
England: D Armitage (London Irish); P Sackey (Wasps), M Tindall (Gloucester), R Flutey (Wasps), M Cueto (Sale Sharks); A Goode (Brive), H Ellis (Leicester); A Sheridan (Sale Sharks), L Mears (Bath), P Vickery (Wasps), S Borthwick (Saracens, capt), N Kennedy (London Irish), J Haskell (Wasps), S Armitage (London Irish), N Easter (Harlequins).
Replacements: D Hartley (Northampton), J White (Leicester), T Croft (Leicester), J Worsley (Wasps), B Foden (Northampton), S Geraghty (London Irish), M Tait (Sale Sharks).
Italy: A Masi (Biarritz), K Robertson (Viadana), G Canale (Clermont Auvergne), G Garcia (Calvisano), Mirco Bergamasco (Stade Francais); A Marcato (Treviso), Mauro Bergamasco (Stade Francais); S Perugini (Toulouse), F Ongaro (Saracens), M Castrogiovanni (Leicester), S Dellape (Toulon), M Bortolami (Gloucester), J Sole (Viadana), A Zanni (Calvisano), S Parisse (Stade Francais, capt),
Replacements: C Festuccia (Racing Metro Paris), C Nieto (Gloucester), T Reato (Rovigo), J-F Montauriol (Venezia), G Toniolatti (Capitolina), L McLean (Calvisano), M Pratichetti (Calvisano).
Referee: Mark Lawrence (South Africa).
