Watching England's cricketers tighten the screw in Napier raised an intriguing Bank Holiday possibility: what price England's rugby team completing a double on Kiwi soil against the All Blacks in June? New Zealanders would be aghast but it is not a totally impossible dream if England can travel south with the right squad. The Rugby Football Union's first priority, clearly, is to put the best man in charge. As they attempt to solve the unedifying love triangle involving Rob Andrew, Brian Ashton and Martin Johnson, however, there are some equally important selection issues to debate.
Let's assume England take a party of 30 players for their two-Test tour. The new deal between club and country will kick in after the tour and there is little point in announcing a list of names on July 1 which bears little relation to the squad involved in Auckland and Christchurch a fortnight earlier. For once, a little foresight is needed; any player unlikely to be available for the autumn Tests should not be chosen now. The tour has to be portrayed as an eyeballs-out trial rather than a wearisome chore.
Danny Cipriani's emergence, in that respect, will act as a spur for the next wave of English talent. Few expect England to win in New Zealand so what is there to lose? Before they do anything else, those in charge should ink in names like Danny Care, Shane Geraghty, James Simpson-Daniel, Dylan Hartley and Chris Robshaw, and look them directly in the eye: impress in New Zealand and you can expect a coveted elite squad place; stuff up and you'll be wasting a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
In a perfect world the likes of Tom Guest (Harlequins), Dan Ward-Smith (Bristol), Tom Varndell (Leicester) and Ben Foden (Northampton) would also be included. Maybe some of them will make it anyway; injuries will inevitably strike one or two tourists. Conversely there is no place in my squad, perhaps harshly, for Olly Barkley, Mike Tindall, Toby Flood, Lesley Vainikolo, Richard Wigglesworth and Michael Lipman. The current management know by now what most of the latter can do and England have to create an environment, as Wales have done, in which only the best is good enough. Dan Hipkiss posed Wasps' midfield all sorts of problems in the EDF Energy Cup semi-final last weekend and is back to full fitness. Mike Brown was capped by England in South Africa last summer while suffering terribly from the stomach bug which affected many of the party; he deserves another chance on the back of some consistent club form to prove he is a superior full-back to Nick Abendenon or Chris Ashton.
Far better, too, to discover now if Dave Strettle and Simpson-Daniel can outfox quality operators such as Joe Rokocoko. Have a quiet word with Vainikolo and send him to the Churchill Cup to further his union education in less fraught surroundings. Try Tom Croft at lock alongside Simon Shaw amongst a whole pack of ball-carriers and take the game to the All Blacks before the opposite happens.
It is not a case of throwing the baby out with the bath water. The retention of Phil Vickery, Nick Easter, Simon Shaw and the return of Josh Lewsey will ensure a hard mental edge. I would personally retain Vickery as captain on the proviso that his place in the elite squad going forward is as vulnerable as anyone else's. If Matt Stevens outplays him on tour, the transfer of power will happen automatically. Above all England must be decisive and confirm their management team as soon as possible. Some clubs have only five league games left this season; if a new man is installed he needs some hard evidence to go on if the party is to be chosen wisely. England must be ruthless as well as smart if they are to inflict more Kiwi pain.
My England tour squad (fitness permitting):
Backs: M Brown (Harlequins), J Lewsey (Wasps), D Strettle (Harlequins), P Sackey (Wasps), J Simpson-Daniel (Gloucester), M Tait (Newcastle), J Noon (Newcastle), D Hipkiss (Leicester), S Geraghty (London Irish), D Cipriani (Wasps), J Wilkinson (Newcastle), D Care (Harlequins), H Ellis (Leicester), P Richards (London Irish).
Forwards: D Hartley (Northampton), L Mears (Bath), D Paice (London Irish), T Payne (Wasps), A Sheridan (Sale), M Stevens (Bath), P Vickery (Wasps, capt), S Borthwick (Bath), N Kennedy (London Irish), S Shaw (Wasps), T Croft (Leicester), J Haskell (Wasps), C Robshaw (Harlequins), L Moody (Leicester), T Rees (Wasps), N Easter (Harlequins).
First test XV: M Brown; Sackey, Hipkiss, Geraghty, Simpson-Daniel; Cipriani, Care; Sheridan, Hartley, Vickery (capt), Shaw, Croft, Haskell, Moody, Easter. Reps: Paice, Stevens, Borthwick, Rees, Ellis, Wilkinson, Tait.
Irish outsiders likely to miss the boat
Ireland, at the time of writing, are also pondering who should be in charge of their national team. Declan Kidney and Pat Howard have been the most prominent names touted but there is at least one well-qualified alternative. People tend to forget that Brian Smith, currently at London Irish, played for Ireland as well as Australia and knows the Dublin scene well enough. His forwards coach at Irish, Toby Booth, is an Englishman with a rising reputation. The pair of them are intelligent and modern-thinking. No chance of them being shortlisted, then.
Home truths tell the sorry tale for England
How about this for a revealing set of numbers. In the 2001 Six Nations England scored 28 tries. In 2002 they managed 23 and in 2003 that figure had fallen to 18. In the subsequent five seasons they have managed 17, 16, 12, 10 and 8 respectively. The IRB's Game Analysis Department has also announced that the two tries conceded by grand slam champions Wales in five matches was the lowest number ever recorded in a Six Nations season. Just occasionally, statistics do not lie.
