Hello Rory. How the devil are you?I'm very well. How are you?
Not bad Rory. You're preparing for your first ever triathlon this August. Surely you should be putting your feet up, not pushing yourself through hours of training again? Well, I've been asked a few times to do a marathon, which doesn't really appeal, but something about the mixture of the three different disciplines, it just appeals to me more. It gives me a competitive target, an incentive to get out there and get in shape.
So you just need something to keep you competitive in these post-rugby days? I do keep myself reasonably in shape, but as you get older it gets harder and something like this can make it easier to get motivated. It's just something different.
What's your worst event? It'll be the swimming. I can swim – I swum competitively at school – but I haven't done anything like this since I left school. I've got eight months to get in the pool and do the lengths.
But you were always all right at running? Well, I'm not exactly the speed merchant over 10km. I can run that, no problem, but it's the third event so I'll probably be rather tired by then. Then I've got to get used to the bike. There's a lot to get used to. The big thing I've got to learn is how to pace myself.
But you're no stranger to multi-sport events though – we saw you in Superstars a few years back. Yeah, we did the 100m, 120m in the kayak, swum about 40m, chipped a golf ball and cycled up a hill. It was a great event, a lot of fun, but let's just say it wasn't much of a physical challenge. The difference here is that I can't just turn up and do it.
So what about the rugby, then. What was your best try? Well I scored 49, which one do you want? It depends what you mean by greatest. Your first try sticks in your mind, I scored the try that won us the Triple Crown in Ireland, and we went on to win the Grand Slam, my first and only Lions try. They're all up there.
OK, forget about the best try. What was your best win? The 1991, 1992 and 1995 Grand Slams. Of those the first was definitely the best.
Back in the amateur days, you could get away with having a bit of a party as well. There must have been a few sore heads after that one. Well not for me. I didn't drink, never have. I wasn't known for big parties.
Who'd win a race between you and David Campese now? We probably wouldn't get very far – we're both old and knackered. I'd say, short-distance, I'd take it. Long distance, he'd take it.
You were an air force pilot. Do you still do much flying? Not any more. I left the air force eight years ago, and I don't do it recreationally. I do miss it a bit sometimes, especially the low-level flying I used to do, but if I jump into a Cessna and potter around at 90mph it's not going to be the same as doing 250 knots [that's 287.69mph, fact fans]. I'm not allowed to do that any more.
What was the last CD you bought? The Ting Tings. I saw them on T4 doing Great DJ and I loved it, so I looked them up on Google, heard a few more songs and bought the album.
What about concerts? I think the last one I went to was Roger Waters doing Dark Side of the Moon at Earls Court last year, which I thought was absolutely fantastic. Actually I'm taking my daughter to see the Pussycat Dolls tonight, but I'm just taking her there and sitting in the car outside.
You're not tempted to go in? She's 17 and going with some friends, I think she can manage by herself. Besides, I don't think she'd appreciate her dad standing there with his mouth open and his tongue hanging out.
More important matters now: cheese or chocolate? [Instantly, with not a moment's hesitation] Chocolate. That's my vice. I don't drink, I don't smoke, but I love chocolate and sweets. Galaxy, that's the one for me.
So if you like your food, will you be following Matt Dawson onto Masterchef? I don't think so. I can manage a spaghetti bolognese, but nothing too testing.
That's a bit disappointing. [Sounding rather peeved] Well I'm sorry about that. [Regains composure] But my kids love my scrambled egg on toast.
Moving quickly on, who would win a fight between a lion and a tiger? Both males? [Small Talk tells him he can write the rules] Probably the tiger. I think it's bigger.
Do you know, we think it is too. What's the best film ever? Now that's a hard one. I'm thinking the Shawshank Redemption, but everyone picks that one. I love The Matrix, and the Bourne trilogy. The first one was brilliant, but I loved the whole lot of them. And I've enjoyed both the new Bond films with Daniel Craig. Quite a lot of people didn't understand the second one, Quantum of Solace, but I enjoyed it. Blokey films. I'm more of a reader, really.
OK then, Small Talk is off to a bookshop. What should he buy? Well at the moment I'm working my way through some books I got for Christmas. Somebody bought me a whole bundle, about six books, all in the thriller-mystery-crime bracket – Martina Cole was one of them, James Patterson. That's my cup of tea. I'm reading them in the order they come out of the pack. But if I had to name one book it would be Vulcan 607, the story of the Vulcan raids on Port Stanley in the Falklands War. It's a brilliant book, and I know some of the people in it from my RAF days. Fantastic read.
Right you are then, thanks for the tip, Rory. You're welcome, Small Talk.
Rory Underwood, now a director of UPH, was talking at his first training session for the Mazda London Triathlon taking place 1st & 2nd August 2009. Visit www.thelondontriathlon.com before entries close on 31st January
