Losers’ medals being doled out now. Michel Platini’s sympathetic face isn’t really the one I’d want to see in this situation. Let’s just stick about for the trophy lift....

From Alex Brown under the heading “Jonah”: “I’ve just picked up a ticket for West Ham on Thursday. Stay home; or I’ll send the boys round to the Farringdon Road. You know what I mean.”

Now I would love to MBM that particular scenario.

Kari Tulinius brings us some Swedish reaction:

“Your mbm-ing colleague at Sweden’s Aftonbladet reacted to Carlgren’s save by saying: VI ÄR BÄST AV ALLA I HELA JÄVLA EUROPA OCH JAG ÄLSKAR DIG, CARLGREN!

“Which, if my remedial Swedish isn’t failing me, means: ‘We are the best out of everyone in the whole of goddamn Europa and I love you, Carlgren.’

“He went on to advocate for naked bathing in fountains. I think he’s quite happy with the result.”

It’s going to be some night in Prague.....

Congratulations Sweden! Portugal look disbelieving. They must have thought this was theirs after that thrashing of Germany. But Sweden have been a triumph of teamwork, fitness, attitude, application....you get the idea. They were outsiders for this tournament and not mentioned in the same breath as those considered to be the main contenders, but they just never went away and what a credit they are to their coach, Håkan Ericson.

It almost had to be William Carvalho, so feted before this match but so quiet during it, who missed the decisive kick. But the fault wasn’t squarely his – Portugal faded over the 90 minutes to the extent that Bernardo Silva, the tournament’s best player, did not appear to have it in him to take a penalty. The sharper team won, eventually, and it’s made for a great story.

Now – William Carvalho has to score....

Lindelof....down the middle...4-3 Sweden!

Fine penalty. 3-3!

Joao Mario, your time is now....Carlgren again hangs about....

KHALILI MISSES! Well, it’s saved by Sa, who doesn’t buy the stop-start dummy and stops a really weak effort, also down to his left. 3-2 Sweden.

Khalili now...

Well....Carlgren committed early and was rewarded! Advantage Sweden!

...AND SAVES THE PENALTY TO HIS LEFT! SWEDEN LEAD 3-2!

Esgaio now steps up for Portugal. Carlgren takes his time....

Superb penalty from one of the game’s best players. 3-2 Sweden!

Augustinsson....

Toze....scores? Misses? Scores! It hit the bar and rebounded over the line, and bounced out, and there was a weird pause....but 2-2!

Hello Toze...

Straight down the middle, into the roof of the net! 2-1 Sweden.

Thelin...

Cool as you like, low into the corner with Carlgren diving the other way. 1-1.

Ahora, Paciencia....

Guidetti scores! Top corner. 1-0 Sweden.

It’s Guidetti....

Sweden to kick first. Sa glances at a piece of paper....

And the spot kicks will be taken towards that ‘yellow wall’ of Sweden fans. Help? Hindrance? Neither?

Huddles finished, pep talks done, we’re at that awkward bit now where the players mill around by the touchline and don’t really have much to say to one another and just want to get on with it, but also don’t really want to get on with it. Sweden’s players wave their arms to exhort their fans, who respond with a lusty roar.

Only four nights ago, I was MBM-ing Argentina v Colombia at the Copa America, which also went to penalties after a 0-0. Think someone’s very gently trying to tell me something....

120+1 min: Sweden have one substitution left and we have one added minute to play. Penalty wildcard?

120 min: Sweden find Thelin in space on the left of the box and there’s a chance to do something for a second, but he dithers and Oliveira recovers the ball.

119 min: Augustinsson is still going from left-back and gets to the byline. His cross is leathered away. This young chap, who plays for FC Copenhagen, has a great engine and, dare I say, a fine future.

117 min: Aaaaaand for a second it looks as if I’ve done the trick and got us a goal, as Paciencia glances his head onto a left-sided cross at the near post but it drifts wide of the bar. It actually clipped off Milosevic, but no corner given.

116 min: Reflecting for a further second or two on how un-influential William Carvalho has been tonight. Haven’t seen much of him at all and he’s hardly been an impenetrable wall. I do like him a lot, but he’s not been allowed to flat-track it tonight and for that you have to praise Sweden to the hilt – particularly Lewicki and Hiljemark.

115 min: It’s okay, you’re missing nothing. I’d be stunned if we saw a goal now.

114 min: Plaudits coming in like buses for Mr Marciniak. “Can you say something about the ref, as he has been excellent tonight,” requests Craig Russell.

113 min: “A remarkable job of officiating, barely notice the referee, but the game is under control,” notes Michael Hood.

Yes, good point, he’s been exceptional. The referee, Szymon Marciniak, is a Pole who I think played to a decent level too.

112 min: Now Lindelof is booked for a tackle on Paciencia.

111 min: ...which Toze whips in towards Paciencia, who gets in firmly ahead of Carlgren but the ball flies out. Carlgren felt that one a bit too.

110 min: Medeiros goes down under a challenge from Baffo, who is booked, and for a second you think Portugal have a penalty....but no, Medeiros went down inside the area but the offence took place just outside. Great refereeing. Dangerous free kick....

108 min: We enjoy this musical interlude because the goalkeeper on the pitchj who does not resemble a singer (or does he?) Carlgren, has just received some treatment after a mild colliison when catching a cross. He is okay now.

107 min: “The Portuguese goalkeeper looks a bit like a Portuguese pop singer from the 80’s, António Variações,” remarks Alexandre Martins. Time for music.”

Might as well:

104 min: Quaison comes away with the ball and pops it onto Khalili, who is granted space to assess his options on the left corner of the area by a clever Guidetti decoy run. He looks for that far corner again, but can’t get as close as last time.

102 min: It is Portugal, now, who you suspect would like to run the clock down. Joao Mario looks again for Esgao over on the right, and that combination was working particularly well earlier but the right back can’t control this one. Tired work.

100 min: Sweden free kick 30 yards out and central. Guidetti fancies it. Not the worst effort in the world but, still, it doesn’t come down anything like quickly enough.

99 min: Lewicki, in central midfield, has been one of Sweden’s best players for me. Increasingly influential on the ball now, like many of his team mates, but his positioning off it has been exemplary and his covering for team-mates spot on. Sweden look much the fitter team at this stage and, if anyone is to win it in the 30, you’d favour them.

98 min: Lewicki splits Guerreiro and Ilori with a lovely ball for Hiljemark, whose cross is cleared for a corner by Joae Mario, tracking back vitally. The flag kick is met at the far post by Lewicki, but he heads wide. Up the pitch, and Paciencia fizzes one straight at Carlgren.

95 min: Khalili just wide! Hiljemark lays it left to the winger, who looks to wrap his right foot around the ball and bend it inside the far post. It’s paint-shavingly close....and the gasps from the Sweden fans when they see the replay say it all.

94 min: Esgao crosses for Paciencia and then, when Madeiros tries to find space for a shot, he ends up fouling the perfectly positioned Lewicki.

92 min: What’s this been then, Dogs of War or Dogs of Snore? The former for me. Sweden are an engaging watch simply for the unity of it all, the energy and the industry and the attitude. England etc etc etc could learn from them etc etc etc.....

Sweden finished that half considerably the stronger. They looked fit and confident and had Guidetti scored at the end there you could say they’d executed their gameplan perfectly. We have another 30 minutes to see if they can get it right second time round...

90+1 min: ....which Ilori gets up high for and glances wide. Perhaps could do better after winning that.

90 min: Oooohhhh.....Thelin peels away for a diagonal ball, as he did when he knocked the ball back for Guidetti earlier in the half. This time, if he gets it right then his strike partner has another clear run on goal – but he gets just too much on his header and Sa is out to get it. Sweden finishing well....although now they concede a corner....

88 min: That was probably the first real heart-in-mouth chance of the game – and reinforces that this is anybody’s.

86 min: Guidetti almost wins it! Portugal never look totally comfortable when Sweden get an early ball into the box and, after one such cross causes a scramble, Guidetti comes away with the ball seven yards out and with just Sa to beat! The goalkeeper makes himself big and gets enough of a hand on the ball to slow its progress to the line. It’s hacked away. Big, big moment!

85 min: Right on cue, Joao Mario has his latest swipe at goal but it’s nowhere near. Portugal are getting frustrated and being forced to shoot from range but they’ve the technical gifts to be threatening Carlgren more.

85 min: Sweden enjoying marginally more territory in the last couple of minutes but it’s scrappy.

Yes, Guerreiro and Augustinsson have both been very good.

82 min: Toze puts one over from 25 yards. That was all after Bernardo Silva tried to go for a jink on the edge of the box but there were eight – EIGHT – Swedish players between him and the goal and he had to go back to Toze. Sweden are working so hard.

80 min: Vital from Ilori! Augustinsson, the left back, makes superb headway into the Portuguese area and finds Guidetti ten yards out – the Liverpool defender stands him up really well, gets between him and the goal, and when Guidetti finally makes a quarter-yard to spin and shoot he stands firm to block.

79 min: Baffo floats an elegant attempt to find Thelin, but Sa has it. After that flurry of little chances for Portugal, mainly spurred by the introductions of Toze and Medeiros, we’re back where we were before really. Can’t pick and winner, and there probably won’t be one inside 90. Not sure either has done enough yet.

77 min: Sweden are defending the edge of their box very well.....although they can’t stop Guerreiro dancing past Milosovic there. Not for the first time it’s a poor final ball.

76 min: Super from Lindelof there, reacting very quickly to tackle Bernardo Silva as he looks to steal in. Down the other end and Guidetti chases down a through ball and leaves a foot on on Sa, briefly causing him pain.

74 min: Corner for Sweden on the left, conceded by Esgaio. Their fans are behind the goal they’re attacking, and sound all excited. Khalili takes the inswinger...and Milosevic attacks it bravely, beating Ilori to the ball but not threatening the goal.

73 min: Bernardo Silva goes on a heroic run down the left but nobody from his own team is up there with him and when he, rather tiredly, clips the ball into the area there is nobody – not even the Presence – to convert.

We would have extra time.

70 min: Before that the striker Goncalo Paciencia, who scored in the 1-1 draw between these sides, comes on for Ricardo. Paciencia has Presence In The Box.

The corner is, again, harmless.

69 min: Toze dips another one, and it’s deflected a yard wide. Corner, left side. Barely clears the near post. They get another one though, as Guerreiro has a speculative strike deflected out on the same side....

67 min: I expect Quaison has come on to get Sweden up the pitch a bit. He is fast. Portugal have started to control things and create a half-chance or two.

66 min: Another Swedish change now. Robin Quaison, who has five full caps and two goals, is on for the ineffective Tibbling.

64 min: Toze nearly catches Carlgren out! His low 20-yarder seems straightforward enough but seems to swerve around a bit and the ‘keeper, while getting his body behind it, does so in very ungainly fashion. Then the lively Medeiros picks the ball up from Carvalho, cuts inside and clips a delightful, curling effort towards the far post....and it skips just wide with Carlgren rooted! The subs have livened Portugal up.

62 min: Corner to Portugal, Augustinsson bundling out under pressure from Medeiros. Joao Mario gets the short one, tries to go for the line and falls over. Not a lot has come off for him yet, either.

61 min: Toze tries to show a bit of that putative direct goal threat but thuds over. Then Iuri Medeiros replaces Cavaleiro, who was excellent against the Germans but was mainly caught offside by a smarter team today.

60 min: Sweden getting a few crosses in now and Ilori heads away well from Khalili’s inswinging left-sided delivery. Bernardo Silva then drops just off his own centre backs to collect the ball. He’s really having to stray out of dangerous areas to get much joy today. After that, Baffo reacts very well to glance away a teasing Portugal cross at the back stick.

58 min: “Barney Ronay really doesn’t like William Carvalho. I haven’t seen too much of him to comment. What do you think?” asks Ruth Purdue.

I think he’s brilliant, Ruth, although his influence has been limited today and I guess you *could* argue that there’s a big difference between what he can do against teams that are obviously his physical inferiors and those, like Sweden perhaps, that are emboldened to stand up to him.

56 min: “A wise chap once said, ‘I’m suspicious of people who don’t like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn’t like a person.’ That was my godfather (unbeknownst-to-anyone-but-me), Bill Murray,” writes Asher Watson.

Imagine if Bill Murray actually was your godfather. I was happy enough to discover that he was in the final ever episode of Parks & Recreation.

54 min: That’s the last action for Sergio Oliveira, the captain, who hit the bar early on. He’s replaced by Toze, who I think might offer more of a direct goal threat.

53 min: Sweden go really close through Guidetti! Thelin nods the ball back really intelligently from a direct pass played into him, and the striker adjusts his body to lash a shot inches over! Sa was beaten! Seconds later, Sergio Oliveira sends Carlgren scampering across his goal from 30 yards but it’s wide.

52 min: Sweden right-back Lindelof stays up for the second ball after a free kick but fluffs his header, all alone, at the back post....and Portugal duly counter with their trademark blistering speed, Bernardo Silva eventually seeing a ball across from the left desperately turned behind! That’s what happened when Sweden commit too many. Corner cleared, though.

50 min: Portugal having plenty of possession early in the half but struggling to create much space and a frustrated Joao Mario, squeezed out towards the corner flag, puts a pointless cross into the arms of Carlgren without really looking for anyone.

49 min: Thomas Krantz keeps his pulse on the Swedish media so I don’t have to – “According to the Swedish commentators, Helander might have had some problem with a knee.”

Which would make sense.

Tibbling insight

This is useful. I’ve seen one or two people refer to him as a ‘new Brolin’, which doesn’t really stack up in view of this.

It’s another of those new stadia where there isn’t really a tunnel – more of a mingling area. It’s an area that the players are now vacating....they’re back out!

How do we see this panning out now? Game needs a goal, I think. Suspect Portugal will find that one moment of inspiration.

Could be argued that Portugal need someone who can occupy the Sweden centre backs, who aren’t being troubled too much by the moment in front of them and are getting heads and feet on balls from wide easily enough, a little more.

“Judging from my new neighbours in lower Campolide, Lisbon, you don’t own dogs, they own you,” shudders Kevin Rose. “They form the basis of conversation in my shared backyard and forced me off into the isolation of MBM coverage when I could be watching it al fresco were it not for the yapping muts all over the place. And not one of them even a water dog.”

Didn’t start too well for the Swedes, Portugal flying out of the traps and hitting the bar with a lovely Sergio Oliveira free kick. But they are a tough, superbly drilled, canny unit and eventually calmed things down – offering next to no space in behind and frustrating the Portuguese, who were once or twice open to the counter as well if better decisions had been made. We’ve seen little of Bernardo Silva, for one, and William Carvalho hasn’t really imposed himself yet. It’s canny, pragmatic, in-your-face stuff from Sweden and a world away from the gimme that Germany offered up on Saturday. Portugal did have one good chance before the interval, Joao Mario miscuing inside the box, but they still have it all to do here.

45 min: Sweden are finding some really nice spaces in front of the back four – which you might not expect in a William Carvalho team – and their latest is wriggled into by Tibbling. But, as has uniformly been the case, he doesn’t find a final pass.

43 min: Khalili is wasteful there. He leads a counter for the Swedes and, although space opens up as men in front of him take defenders away, Tibbling is in a lot of space to his right if he can see the pass. But he doesn’t, or won’t, and just hammers a poor shot over from at least 25 yards. Then Esgaio finds room again at the other end and slips across a delicious ball that nobody is attacking.....and it’s smuggled behind, right in front of goal, for an inconsequential corner.

41 min: Decent effort from the left-back Guerreiro, who is playing well. He has to dig it out a little, 20 yards out, but manages to and it goes only a yard or so over.

39 min: Joao Mario has a chance, and should convert. He finds Esgaio in space, haring down the right, and makes a beeline for the penalty spot. He gets the ball back exactly where he wants it, makes a connection, but it’s going well wide before being cleared. Should have done better. Then Tibbling should do better, dollying a cross to Sa from the Sweden right.

37 min: And it’s wasted by Sergio Oliveira this time. The woodwork need not tremble. Neither cross nor shot, really, and Carlgren collects.

36 min: So is William Carvalho’s. He hasn’t been at his dominant best so far either, and he comes away with a ball but sees a pass cut out by Augustinsson. But now a chance for the Portuguese, as Milosevic chops Guerreiro down on the left edge of the box...

34 min: Even Bernardo Silva’s radar is a bit off at the moment. A simple enough ball right to Esgaio is overhit enough to ensure the right-back cannot do much with it. Passes astray all over the show, currently.

32 min: Does anyone actually *own* a hunting dog? Domestically I mean? Or are they used in harsh Arctic landscapes?

31 min: Ricardo overhits a through ball to Carlgren. Sweden can be happy at the moment; there’s not a great deal happening.

30 min: “Is Ilori ready for Premier League? Not sure what Rodgers thinks of him though,” asks Mike MacKenzie. I’m not really sure. Liverpool fans are a notoriously quiet bunch but let’s see if any of them have an answer for us.

29 min: Perhaps Portugal will be happy to let Sweden have a bit more possession in order that they can exploit space quickly – as is probably their biggest strength – when they win it back.

27 min: Yes, this has settled down a bit now and we’re getting what we expected – an inventive Portugal side, a Sweden team that’s tough to break down and poses a threat on the counter.

25 min: Cavaleiro centres from the left but it’s well defended. Sweden come out neatly and they’re seeing much more of the ball now....to the extent with Lewicki finds some space 25 yards out, and strikes the ball well but down the throat of Sa.

24 min: “Quite similar to the yellow wall in Dortmund, isn’t it?” says Klas Sjodin of the bank of Swedish supporters. In that it’s yellow, undoubtedly.

22 min: Corner for Portugal, conceded by the midfielder Lewicki, who tracked back well to prevent Guerreiro from finding Bernardo Silva. Carlgren claims. More cheers.

20 min: Sweden want a handball by Ilori after Hiljemark tries to play a return ball into the area for Thelin. It wasn’t, it came off his shoulder, but that was a good counter and Sweden will get space here if they pick their moments.

18 min: Small alarm for Sa, who has to head away a miscue from his own defender, Guerreiro.

18 min: Haven’t seen anything of Guidetti up top yet for Sweden. Portugal continue to manipulate the ball, sweeping it from side to side, involving the full backs. Sweden’s shape is pretty disciplined though and they’ve caught Portugal’s attackers offside once or twice already, which Germany rarely managed to do.

16 min: Meanwhile I’m informed by KG Hammarlund that the *actual* Swedish national dog is the Hamiltonstövare. A hunting dog. Yeah, ok, but who’s got one?

15 min: Ove Lindgren has reason for Swedes to be optimistic – “Sweden are of course the underdogs tonight, but Guidetti has been brilliant and Tibbling looks increasingly like a young Brolin. They´ve also beaten a few good teams on their way to the final, including the mighty lions of Italy. Smells like team spirit...”

Of course. Underdogs. It’s pretty apparent after that first 15 minutes, if it hadn’t been before.

14 min: Joao Mario has another go, from a similar position to his early one. Ricardo lays it back to him but, 15 yards out on the right of the area, he swipes well over.

12 min: And a chance for the striker, Thelin! This time it is from a right-sided cross from Khalili, which is bending away from goal, and Thelin gets the wrong side of Paulo Oliveira but can’t quite get the power on his header. It’s a comfortable save, but encouragement there for the Swedes.

11 min: Now some Swedish possession at last and captain Hiljemark finds Tibbling nicely in space. His cross from the left is no trouble for the goalkeeper, Sa.

10 min: Another corner for Portugal, conceded I think by Augustinsson. Bernardo Silva receives it short and chips into the box, but it’s headed out.

9 min: The way Portugal are happy to go longer, catching defenders out if they step too far up or out of line, makes them very hard to read. One moment it’s all short, tappy interchanging – the next they’re slicing you with one direct pass.

8 min: Sweden have hardly had a kick so far.

7 min: Oliveira rattles the bar! Textbook, right-footed free kick from the Portuguese number eight, whipped up and over the wall.....but pinging off the frame. Superb effort, so close.

6 min: Very good play by the corner flag by the Swedish right-back Lindelof, holding off Cavaleiro and bringing the ball out. The massed yellow ranks behind the goal roar approval. But Portugal win a free kick on the edge of the area moments later for a foul by Khalili....

5 min: Bit of a slowdown now after that quick Portugal start, and Sweden will welcome that.

4 min: “Many Portuguese dog breeds,” writes Luis Correia. “Estrela Mountain dog, Podengo and Portuguese Water Dog are some examples. Go with Estrela Mountain dog.”

I like that one. The Water Dog has now been mentioned twice though, and sounds like an interesting concept.

3 min: Played short and eventually fizzed in by Guerreiro, whose cross is only half-cleared to Ricardo....who thumps in a crisp low shot that just shaves the near post!

2 min: Early shot by Joao Mario is blocked after good work from Bernardo Silva. Portugal beginning at a pace, and Cavaleiro then has a cross from the left deflected onto the roof of the net for a corner...

Stefan Telander writes:

“Hope you are well and that the warm sunny weather has found its way to London as well.

“I want to big up the Swedish league because of the fact you have already mentioned, that the Swedish fotball fans can create atmosphere which really is up there with the best in Europe (Dortmund, the Rome clubs and Napoli you name it) to name a few. You should really visit a Stockholm derby (there is three clubs, the great AIK and the not so great Djurgården and Hammarby). The atmosphere all three fans create is electric and the tifo groups create awesome tifo.

“Of course the quality is not on the same level as the greatest league in the world (EPL) but just as EPL it is very combatative and the bottom team can beat the leaders.”

Daniel Schulwolf has dog advice for us, and a bit of football insight too:

“I’ll bite on this question (pun very much intended). Similar to their team in this tournament, the Portuguese Water Dog is heavily favored by neutrals, including the Obamas, who have two of them. I’m not sure if there is a Swedish national dog, just as I don’t know too much about any of the Swedish players, although I did sign Filip Helander on Fifa 2015 while managing SC Braga, where he failed to develop and remained a 4th choice center half. Incidentally Rafa Silva, on the bench tonight for Portugal, developed into a world class winger/attacking midfielder, and was sold on to Barcelona for about 70 million dollars.”

Much louder for the Swedish anthem. It’s – a bit disappointingly – not that close to a full house in there by the looks of it, but Sweden’s fans outnumber Portugal’s by....well....very many.

You can still get half-and-half scarves at the U21 Championship, it seems. And they can wave to both of the anthems, which are starting now with Portugal’s....

The teams are lining up in the tunnel. There is clapping and exhorting. Momentous music is playing outside. Nearly time. Here they come...

Quick Premier League newsflash – Leicester have just sacked Nigel Pearson (for real, this time).

Send in your emails and tweets, as ever. You might be out in the blazing heat but you’re still such a hopelessly addicted slave to modern technology and the rollercoaster ride of 24/7 media that you’re reflexively glancing at your smartphone every few minutes while someone you half like tells a half-interesting story. So get in touch.

That result knocked Italy out and led to the Italian player Stefano Sturaro calling these two sides “dogs”. It’d be too easy to make a joke about an Italian knowing an arranged game when he sees one, so I won’t make one. But if these teams were dogs, what dogs? Is there a common-or-garden Swedish dog? A Portuguese dog? Are you Swedish or Portuguese and do you own a dog? Who are these dogs of war?

A reminder of the sides’ 1-1 draw of, oooh, last week:

Ain’t no party like a Swedish European Under-21 Championship party

And this – this is where John puts EVERYTHING on the line. He’s reviewed and rated both of tonight’s teams, and given them individual and total scores! Has he done your team, or your player, a disservice? Has he called it with dead-eyed accuracy? Tell us.

Seriously, read it, it’s excellent. And means you’ll be able to impress everyone at the pub/barbecue/lido tonight.

Here is some reading for you. It’s John Ashdown on the Sweden and soon-to-be-ex-Manchester City striker John Guidetti, and it’s ace. Especially the story that kicks it all off:

An early summer evening in Stockholm. An eight-year-old boy is wandering home from a friend’s house when he passes a man on the street next to the park in which there is a football pitch. He takes a few more strides, realises who the man is, then runs back to ask him if he wouldn’t mind kicking the ball around for a while.

“Sorry, I’m just on my way home to watch the Champions League final,” John Guidetti says. “But if you’re still awake after the match, we can play then.”

What happened next?

Nick will be here soon.