90+ 2 min: Periera donks the freekick into the wall.

90 +1 min: That’s one way to hold it together! Martial lead a counter-attack, then fed Rooney, who clipped a fine ball back to the young Frenchman. Now it’s Wolfsburg who have to defend frantically, and they end up conceding a freekick just outside the box.

90 min: Three more minutes for United to hold it together, just about ...

88 min: United are ragged. Their ability to retain possession has abandoned them, along with any clue as to what to do beyond praying. And bogging the ball downfield whenever they get it...

86 min: Rodriguez sends a curling freekick inches wide. De Gea had it covered.

85 min: Another freekick, as Schneiderlin gives the ball away in midfield and then takes down Draxler. He’s lucky to escape a second yellow card there. Will Wolfsburg dish out there own punishment? The freekick is about 25 yards out and central.

84 min: Nine United players in their own box as they defend another Wolfsburg freekick. But set-pieces have been a disappointing aspect of the Germans’ play so far and another bad one gifts United the chance to launch a rare counter-attack. They work it to Martial, who dashes down the right and tries to send the ball across the face of goal, but it’s deflected into the keeper’s arms.

82 min: Corner to Wolfsburg as Young heads a Rodriguez freekick behind. Draxler’s delivery is good but Bendtner jumps right past it. He was 8 yards out and if he’d connected, De Gea would have had to do something special to keep it out.

80 min: Darmian grants United some relief by nicking the ball off Schurrle and then kicking it out off him to win a throw-in. But Woflsburg will soon get it back, you can be sure of that.

79 min: United are playing a dicey game here. They’re become very meek, sitting deep and just trying to deflect Wolfsburg’s constant raids. Young has just been booked for time-wasting. With more than 11 minutes left. At Old Trafford.

77 min: Wolfsburg make their final change, Jung replacing Trasch.

76 min: As PSV cut CSKA Moscow’s lead to one goal - it’s 3-2 in Moscow - Wolfsburg win a corner. And it almost leads to an equaliser! Rooney made his presence felt in the United box, booting a Dante shot clear from right in front of the goal!

75 min: Draxler, who has been quiet for most of the night, plays a cute pass behind Darmian. Schurrle runs on to it but the Italian recovers and diverts the cross behind for a corner. Which United clear.

74 min: United change: Schweinsteiger off, Jones on. The new man slots in alongside Smalling in central defence, while Blind pushes into midfield. And the pressure from Wolfsburg is mounting ...

73 min: Ooooh! Caligiuri did well down the right before zipping a pass into Schurrle. The former Chelsea player twisted past Blind and fired a low shot inches past the far post!

72 min: Solid defending by Darmian, who made a timely header at the back post after a dangerous cross from Schurrle.

70 min: Wolfsburg substitutions: Schurrle and Bendtner on, Dost and Arnold off.

68 min: More trickery by Mata, who has been exceptional tonight. After doing a little Footloose tribute, he pings the ball on to Young, whose cross is intercepted.

66 min: Rooney! I just saw him!

64 min: Smalling goes down hurt after jarring his knee on landing after a header. He clambers back to his feet - gingerly, to use a word always employed in this context and never in any other - and hopefully he will be able to carry on. It looked painful, the sort of incident that can twang ligaments.

62 min: De Gea flings a long throw to Memphis, whose arm clobbers Trasch in the face as they both challenge for the ball. Didn’t look at all intentional but Memphis is booked. If Van Gaal’s mind was not already made up, that may have clinched it: Memphis is taken off and replaced by Pereira.

60 min: Andreas Periera is poised to come on. I’d have hooked Rooney, but word is that Memphis is the one to be replaced.

58 min: Young demonstrates his keen defensive instincts by anticipating Caligiuri’s run and heading him off. Then clears. are you watching, Valencia?

55 min: De Gea forced into a smart save to thwart Caligiuri’s snapshot from the edge of the box. This game is dingining and donging like billyo. An old football expression that one.

51 min: Excellent cross by Memphis. Martial leaps well but can’t quite plant a proper header on it, glancing wide from 10 yards.

49 min: Wolfsburg have begun this half the same way as they did the first. United, too. Wolfsburg nearly played their way right through the centre again with some nifty passing, but it all came undone when Dost ran fractionally too early, the offside saving United.

47 min: Kruse glides across the pitch and collects the ball on the left. His cross looks set to travel all the way to Dost in front of the goal, but Darmian gets back in time to cut it out.

46 min: It’s back on. But Valencia isn’t. He has been put out of his misery and replaced by Young, whose first contribution is an important tackle on Draxler after United sloppily coughed up possession.

In the other match in this group, CSKA are tonking PSV 3-0.

44 min: Wonderful play from Draxler. After receiving the ball on the left, he meandered across the pitch and swapped passes with Trasch. He worked his way to the byline and tried to pull the ball back to team-mates in front of goal, but Smalling read his plan and rumbled it at the near post.

42 min: Wolfsburg’s best move for a while is ruined when Caligiuri gets ideas abvoe hi station and tries to hammer one into the net from 35 yards. He didn’t even get close. As a ball boy sets off to retrieve the ball, the ref comes back to show a yellow card to Schweinsteiger, who was guilty of a tackle so late that if he were a U-bahn train he would be decommissioned forthwith.

40 min: Schneiderlin booked harshly for clunking into Arnold.

39 min: Summing up Wolfsburg declining posie, Kurse gifts the ball to Schweinsteiger on half-way. The red-clad German then dinks a pass over the defence and into the path of Martial ... the crowd began jump to their feet in anticipation ... but the linesman raises his flag for offside, the spoilsport.

37 min: Mata burrows forward, eluding two defenders before feeding Memphis, who had crept away from the dozing Trasch. But Memphis’s shot is blocked by the keeper.

36 min: Dante kicks Martial to the ground, outwitted and frazzled by another flourish of skill from the youngster. The Premier League badly needs world class players: Martial looks to have the makings of one.

28 min: Another great chance for United. Mata spotted Memphis clever run and dropped a perfect pass from deep onto the Dutchman’s head. But Memphis couldn’t beat the keeper. United can be encouraged that they are starting to open up the visitors, but alarmed that they are spurning their chances. “Surely LVG takes the blame for the goal,” fumes Prateek Chadha. “Valencia’s inability to step up with the rest of the line is the rather predictable consequence of playing an attacking winger as a right back. Moving Blind/Rojo to left back and leaving Darmian at right back is clearly a more efficient solution to the question posed by the Shaw injury.”

26 min: What a miss by Rooney! Martial did superbly again down the right, making a clown of Rodriguez before laying the ball into the path of the soon-to-be-United-record goalscorer, who ballooned it over the bar from 12 yards.

25 min: There’s one of those counter-attacks. Smalling was beaten to the ball on halfway. Arnold scampered down the left and crossed dangerously. Schweinsteiger got back to stifle the threat.

23 min: The rising volumes from the crowd reflect the sense that the threat from United is growing, even if the visiting keeper has yet to make a difficult save. But as they pursue an equaliser, they look vulnerable to the counter-attack. They’re walking a tightrope here and no mistake.

21 min: Pressure from United. A cross from the left and then from the right, both teams with plenty of bodies in the box. But both times well defended. As an aside, may I say that I’m enjoying Owen Hargreaves as a pundit on BT Sport. Has definitely upped his game. He talks like he played, nothing ostentatious but full of good sense and interesting takes.

19 min: Darmian rumbles down the left and hoiks in another cross. Mata gets his head to it and directs a reasonable effort at the goalkeeper, who doesn’t do an Ospina. Nor a Szczesny. “So, are we at the point now where we consider an English team winning the Champions League an upset?” quizzes Fungai Chigumbra. “The reason all these teams seem to be succeeding,i think,is that they have definitive purpose in their play, rather than the nebulous goal of “Go out there and play well/show character.” English clubs may have better players; but it sure looks like they have inferior managers.

17 min: Draxler turns cutely past Schweinsteiger in midfield but then mislays his pass. Wolfsburg haven’t been in the United half with menace for over five minutes. United are gradually pushing them backwards...

15 min: Foxy skills by Martial, who twisted past Rodriguez on the right and then shimmies his way past Dante in the box. Delightful play, sadly unmatched by the finish.

13 min: More like it from United! Darmian provided an overlap down the left and received the pass before dishing out a fine cross. It carried all the way voer to Mata, who arrived at the far side of the box, trapped the ball and then tried to curl it towards the far corner. The retreating Dante stretched to divert it over the bar with his head. Fine last-ditch defending.

11 min: United need to quicken their play. They’re too ponderous at the moment as they try to prise open the visitors, who are repelling their attempts with ease and then lashing forward themselves. Meanwhile, on the subject of long club names, Luis Mazariegos tweets: “The longest team surely is Nooit Opgeven Altijd Doorzetten Aangenaam Door Vermaak En Nuttig Door Ontspanning Combinatie Breda. There’s a reason they are commonly known just as NAC Breda.”

8 min: Better from United. After winning the ball back deep inside their own half, they worked it quickly to Rooney, who curled a searching low ball behind the last defender for Memphis to chase. Dante got back to dispossess the Dutchman in extremis.

6 min: United have a proper job on their hands here. Wolfsburg are looking increasingly confident: no chance of them just sitting on their lead. United are even struggling to retain possession in the face of dynamic harassment. It’s Vorsprung durch pressing at the moment from the Germans.

4 min: Rodriguez heads clear from the penalty spot after a promising run and cross from the left by Memphis.

3 min: Wolfsburg are not sheep. They, too, have started with vibrant attacking purpose. United have been accused of playing too slowly at times this season but Woflsburg don’t look like they’re going to let them do that. Pacey proceedings so far.

2 min: First impression are good from a United viewpoint, as Memphis skitters down the left, beating one defender before being halted. Nothing came of it but it was a pleasing display of attacking intent.

1 min: Off we go, courtesy of Manchester United, author of a textbook kickoff.

“Is there a team with more syllables than Borussia Monchengladbach,” asks Brian Kitt. I suggest that the first port of call for your research, readers, should be the Welsh leagues. The New Saints of Oswestry Town & Llansantffraid takes some beating.

With Chelsea in the midst of some sort of breakdown, City prone to both slackness and fear, and Arsenal a crumbling monument to their manager’s refusal to evolve, United seem to have the best temperament of any of the English teams in this tournament. That’s the theory we’re starting with today, at any rate, let’s see how it holds up.

If anyone spots Victor Valdes around Old Trafford tonight, do let us know. Keen to find out whether he’s actually allowed in these days. Or has Van Gaal got him ironing the youth teams’ socks on Champions League night?

“There are only two things that worry me about this United team,” says Paul Scholes on BT Sport. He explains that he has doubts about Danny Blind’s effectiveness as a centreback against tip-top teams and about the team’s ability to score enough if Martial does not sustain his extraordinary start.

Since the Manchester clubs are duelling against Wolfsburg and Monchengladbach tonight, let’s enjoy this clip of when those foes met in the 1995 German Cup final. Some quality Stefan Effenberg action right here: