'Edwin was not amused by Roman Abramovich's cheap attempts to gatecrash his gallery,' chortles Kevin McAleerPhotograph: n/a'Jazz-fusion guitarist, psychedelic shaman, and (possible) record holder: it's Edwin van der Sario," parps Mighty Boosh-head Andrew FergusonPhotograph: n/aThe credit crunch has had a beneficial impact on the size of Manchester United's goalposts, according to Kevin ArmstrongPhotograph: n/aEdwin van der Sar's Euro 2008 promo did him no favours, notes John Barry. Gollum anyone?Photograph: n/a'As this 18th century Dutch family portrait of his great grandmother Edwina shows, the Van der Sars have a long history of keeping clean sheets.' How very droll Gary EllisPhotograph: n/a'Edwin was ecstatic to have set a new record but after 13 clean sheets Nemanja Vidic still wasn't happy,' hoots Kasete SkeenPhotograph: n/aJohn Barry reckons a trip to India vastly improved Van der Sar's penalty-saving abilityPhotograph: n/a'Van der Sar's clean sheets record earns him a lucrative new sponsorship deal.' And presumably David Ellis, a knock on the door from Danny BakerPhotograph: n/aCould Dutch cafe culture have anything to do with the relaxed atmosphere in the Manchester United penalty box, wonders Thomas Nycz-LosiPhotograph: n/a'With potentially dangerous attackers loitering just outside the (presidential) area, president Obama drew comfort from having the the best defensive unit in the business to serve and protect him,' chortles William WilsonPhotograph: n/aVan der Sar's record has put him top of the pops, according to Chris BunyanPhotograph: n/a