90+2 min Rooney is booked for dissent.

90+1 min There will be four added minutes. Watford look very comfortable, with a frustrated United giving away free-kicks all over the pitch.

90 min “Not much mention of Pogba so I guess he’s had a poor game, again,” says Charles ANtaki. “89 million pounds. Is this part of a deeply considered revenge plan, to ruin the club that once sent him packing?”

Apart from one brilliant effort he has been diabolical, worse than Rooney arguably.

89 min Watford make their final change, with Oghalo replaced by Isaac Success.

88 min The last time Watford beat Manchester United was on 16 September 1986, a couple of months before Sir Alex Ferguson became manager. They deserve to win here.

87 min Fellaini is booked for a foul on Zuniga.

86 min Troy Deeney is booked for a foul on Mata.

85 min Manchester United’s final substitution: Shaw off, Memphis on.

What a beautiful goal that was! Amrabat on the right wing stabbed a good angled pass into the box for Pereyra, who made a fine off-the-ball run and then picked out a superb first-time cut-back for Zuniga. He ran onto the ball and struck a first-time curling shot across De Gea and into the far corner. I think it was his second touch in fact, but frankly, who cares? He hadn’t even been on the pitch for a minute!

81 min A Watford substitution: Juan Zuniga replaces the goalscorer Capoue, who has had another good game.

80 min Fellaini has been United’s best midfielder today.

79 min Gomes makes a great save from Ibrahimovic! Fellaini, to the left of centre, chipped an angled ball into the box, where Ibrahimovic towered above Britos and powered an immense header back across goal. Gomes showed superb reactions, diving to his right to palm it away. As Robbie Savage says on BT Sport, that was almost a mirror of Deeney’s header in the first half.

78 min Here’s Phil Podolsky. ““Can’t think of a better parallel to the Rooney situation than Mourinho binning Raul, a once great player who by 2010 was dead weight dragging the team down, as one of his first acts as Real Madrid manager.” Maybe what happened afterwards at Real has made him more politically minded, I don’t know.

77 min Britos is booked for pulling back Rashford, who has again been United’s classiest and most determined attacker. Holebas is booked for something or other before the free-kick is taken.

76 min Ibrahimovic takes the free-kick, and smashes it straight into the wall.

75 min Cathcart fouls Shaw just outside the left corner of the box. Rooney might go for goal here.

74 min Pogba responds to some shirt-pulling by shoving Behrami away and squaring up to Deeney. He’s booked.

73 min Holebas’s dangerous inswinger is flicked on at the near post and booted up in the air by Bailly in the six-yard box. That leads to a bit of a scramble before United eventually clear.

72 min Watford haven’t been quite as dangerous on the counter in the second half; nor have they won as many set pieces. But they get one on the right wing after an idiotic foul by Pogba on Pereyra.

70 min I have no idea what formation United are playing now. It’s a freestyle 4-3-3.

68 min Watford are under pressure for the first time in the match, though Bailly temporarily relieves that pressure with a preposterously ambitious left-footed volley from 30 yards.

67 min “I do have to agree with Glenn Hoddle’s point from the first half,” says Matt Loten. “Mourinho always had a brilliantly balanced team in his two stints at Chelsea, which isn’t the case here. Think back to those first title-winning sides: the physicality of Terry alongside the technical and game-reading abilities of Carvalho; the destructive capabilities of Makelele matched with the goals and passing of Lampard and box-to-box energy of Essien; the focal point that was Drogba with the pace and creativity of Cole, Duff or Robben outside him. They had absolutely everything across the pitch, and the physical presence and self-confidence to back it up.”

That was a scary team. He did inherit (and also buy) better players but you’re right, the balance was perfect. It’ll probably take him a year or two to get the XI he wants at United.

66 min Ibrahimovic, who has been excellent since half-time after an anonymous first half, robs Amrabat and then draws a foul on the left-wing. Rooney’s excellent ball in is headed away well by Cathcart.

61 min Ibrahimovic finds Rooney in space on the right wing. He slices his cross out for a goalkick. Before play resumes, Juan Mata replaces Antonio Valencia. I assume Young will go to right-back.

60 min “I wonder,” says Hubert O’Hearn, “what Schweinsteiger is thinking right about now?” Is it possible to think and laugh at the same time?

58 min The dawdling Rooney is robbed by Amrabat. He tries to win the ball back with a determined shoulder charge, and falls over. For lovers of comedy, the last five minutes have been gold.

56 min Bailly overhits a pass to Valencia, who falls over the linesman as he tries to keep in play. He fails.

55 min I’ll be surprised if we don’t see Michael Carrick soon, because United’s midfield passing has been hopeless.

54 min The substitute Amrabat wins a corner for Watford. Rooney clears with a captain’s header at the near post.

53 min “You say that it looks like United have gone back to a 4-2-3-1,” says Ian Copestake, “but I think they have actually gone back to 1973/74.”

52 min The injured Daryl Janmaat is replaced by Nordin Amrabat for Watford.

51 min “I have begun to suspect that football in the Premier League has evolved beyond Mourinho’s comprehension,” says Aniket Chowdhury. “He still believes that physicality can give you an edge over skill. I think he is going to buy Drogba in the January window.”

Arf. I think the biggest problem so far is that he isn’t being Mourinho. He seems too conscious of what a Manchester United manager should be seen to do.

50 min Young’s fierce volley from the edge of the box is superbly blocked by Behrami.

49 min “Please can you avoid mentioning how much you think Rooney has faded for 5 minutes?” says John Boon. “How about some analysis of what’s actually happening instead of the same old mixtape.” You can’t have one without the other, my dear boy.

48 min Ibrahimomvic picks up Capoue’s loose header but throttles a shot well wide from 25 yards.

47 min It looks like United have gone back to a 4-2-3-1, with Rooney in the No10 position.

46 min Peep peep! Watford kick off from left to right. Manchester United have 45 minutes to save their season.

Might as well plug this again: here’s a piece I wrote in the summer about the slow fade of Wayne Rooney’s career.

“For Carrick to play,” says Ian Copestake, “he should have been sold three years ago then bought this season for £40m.”

Half-time reading

45+4 min Rashford picks up a loose ball on the left edge of the box but curls his first-time shot high over the bar.

45+1 min There will be four added minutes.

45 min Pogba, who apart from hitting the bar has done the square root of eff all, fouls the excellent Capoue 25 yards from goal. Holebas’s bouncing free-kick is comfortably held by the diving De Gea.

44 min Ibrahimovic almost gets in after a poor backpass. But he doesn’t, which kills this entry at source.

43 min “That was a clear foul on Martial,” says Benjamin. “The Watford player went straight through the man to get the ball. It was pretty obvious on both the first and second look to me.”

But not to two of England’s most experienced referees, one armed with multiple replays.

42 min Prodl redeems his own error with a great recovery tackle to block Ibrahimovic’s shot. United still haven’t had a shot on target. I think they might need to switch to 4-4-2 here.

41 min Howard Webb, the refereeing expert on BT, says replays are “inconclusive” about the tackle on Martial but that you probably have to give the referee the benefit of the doubt.

40 min Shaw makes space smartly on the left of the box and then stabs a shot from a tight angle that is deflected wide of the near post.

39 min Ashley Young replaces the injured Martial. It looks the problem stems from the clash of heads with Janmaat rather than the Britos challenge.

38 min “I am very surprised Carrick hasn’t got more of a look in this season,” says Liam Moseley. “His calmness on the ball and ability to keep possession ticking over would help this team setlle.”

Yep, I completely agree. He’s probably too old to be a regular but I would have him playing once a week.

36 min It was a very strong tackle on Martial, who needed treatment after the goal. The first impression was that it was a fair challenge though.

34 min Do feel the Rooney criticism at this point is over the top” says Sam Evans. “Every mistake scrutinised to the nth degree. Not his biggest fan by a long chalk, but Martial and Pogba have both been less effective in this game.” That’s true, but with them it’s a form issue; with Rooney it’s a permanent issue. It’s fair to say that an objective judgement of Rooney has become impossible, though.

33 min Smalling, unmarked at the near post, makes a mess of a decent headed chance.

31 min Pogba hits the bar with a wonderful effort! It came out of nothing. He received the ball from Fellaini, 25 yards out, with Pereyra close to him. He moved the ball slightly to the right to create the space before bending a glorious dipping effort over Gomes and onto the face of the bar.

30 min Rashford has been much more involved since moving to the right and looks the main/only threat at the moment. Watford are very comfortable defensively, though.

29 min “Maybe United would win more often and more consistently without Rooney if anyone ever got a run in his position for more than a game or two at a time,” says David Flynn. “When United win with Rooney it’s not entirely convincing and that’s what the stats don’t show. No other creative player has gotten the chances to prove themselves that have been afforded Rooney, whose returns are steady diminishing proportionally to how pigheaded his managers are about starting him.”

One issue is that, even if you bin Rooney, you can’t play both Pogba and Mkhitaryan in their best positions. But if Mourinho doesn’t get rid of him soon, it’s certainly not beyond the realms that his dream job could spiral out of his control. It’s less pressing for Sam Allardyce because England will qualify easily.

27 min There’s a break in play after a clash of heads between Martial and Janmaat. I think they’re fine. Martial looks woefully out of form at the moment.

26 min A dangerous cross from Rashford on the right bounces all the way across the box, just evading Ibrahimovic and Martial.

25 min Even with the inclusion of Martial and Rashford, United’s attacking play has been very slow today. That’s their biggest collective issue at the moment.

21 min United’s first chance. Rashford’s low cross from the right is deflected to Ibrahimovic beyond the far post, who rattles his shot into the side netting from six yards. It was a tight angle but a big chance nonetheless.

21 min Rashford and Martial, who have hardly touched the ball, have switched sides.

19 min United look like a collection of players rather than a team, which is what they are at this stage of their development. The elephant in the team doesn’t help.

17 min De Gea makes an excellent save from Deeney’s close-range header. It came from a flat, deep cross from the right by Janmaat, and Deeney got in front of Valencia to thump a header towards the far post. De Gea reacted superbly and flew to his left to palm it away.

16 min This is a good spell for Watford, whose directness and physicality are giving United a few problems.

13 min An unbelievable miss from Ighalo! De Gea and Smalling both went for a high punt forward, with De Gea dropping it as he fell over the top of Smalling on the edge of the box. It came to Ighalo, who had a huge amount of the goal to aim at - and he pinged it wide. That was one of the worst pieces of play in Premier League history.

10 min A long throw is launched towards Deeney in the box. Fellaini clearly, and stupidly, takes a big handful of his shirt. Michael Oliver mustn’t have seen it, as it was a clear penalty. Moments later, Prodl’s header across goal just evades the stretching Deeney and goes fractionally wide of the far post.

9 min “Can a case be constructed for Wayne Rooney?” says Kari Tulinius. “Yes, he seems to play like a man who has found himself suddenly awake in the middle of a football match after sleepwalking onto a pitch, but for some reason Manchester United win more games when he plays than when he doesn’t. Personally I’m baffled why he plays so much, but logic dictates that he can’t have compromising pictures of Jose Mourinho, Louis van Gaal, Roy Hodgson, and Sam Allardyce. Someone has to be able to make a good case for his inclusion.”

His finishing is as good as it has ever been, but he is not fast or strong enough to play as a No9. If you want to play him he needs space and time on the ball, whether that’s as a quarterback or maybe in a half-winger sort of role. But he’s not a No10 or a No9 anymore, and there are probably better options in the other positions.

7 min Rooney plays a crisp pass wide to Valencia. He runs at Holebas and drives a cross that is well blocked by the sliding Holebas. The ball ricochets off Valencia and out for a goalkick.

7 min “I had the Toploader album,” says my colleague Dan Lucas, dumping me in a very subtle way.

5 min Nothing much happening so far. United have had a bit more of the ball. Rashford is playing on the left and Martial on the right, since you asked.

3 min “I love the idea of the Crisis Baton,” says Hubert O’Hearn. “It could be like the Tour de France yellow jersey. I see it as a sort of sceptre with a jester’s head on it; well, a reproduction of one, please no beheadings. The Crisis Club manager should have to carry it about to media conferences. It will serve as a fantastic player motivator, especially if it can be plugged in and used as a cattle prod. We need to make the Crisis Baton happen!”

Imagine the look on Mourinho’s coupon as Des Kelly presents it to him during the post-match interview.

2 min It looks like Wayne Rooney is playing in the centre of midfield in a 4-1-4-1 formation. That will give Paul Pogba a bit more freedom, though you have to wonder about the inherent contradiction of your captain also being your utility player. Everybody knows, consciously or unconsciously, that he is past it, but the omerta must go on.

1 min Peep! Peep! Peep peep! United, in red, kick off from left to right. Watford are in yellow.

The players are in the tunnel. Wayne Rooney has his business face on; Troy Deeney has a mascot in his arms.

Some pre-match reading

Rob will be here shortly. In the meantime, here’s Graham Searles’s preview:

After a strong start to their season Manchester United find themselves on a two-game losing streak. Watford’s impressive four-goal comeback against West Hamlast Saturday means United need to be wary. That said, José Mourinho is a chip-on-his-shoulder specialist and will no doubt be drilling into his side that victory must be the only outcome to keep up with their noisy neighbours. Graham Searles

Kick-off Sunday noon

Venue Vicarage Road

Last season Watford 1 Manchester United 2

Live BT Sport 1

Referee Michael Oliver

This season G3, Y15, R0, 5.00 cards per game

Odds H 11-2 A 4-7 D 3-1

Watford

Subs from Pantilimon, Nyom, Zuñiga, Paredes, Hoban, Doucouré, Vydra, Amrabat, Guediora, Watson, Success, Kenedy, Mariappa, Dja Djédjé

Doubtful None

Injured Okaka (hamstring, 16 Oct)

Suspended None

Form DLLW

Discipline Y15 R1

Leading scorer Capoue 3

Manchester United

Subs from Romero, Johnstone, Rojo, Depay, Lingard, Young, Herrera, Fosu-Mensah, Tuanzebe, Schneiderlin, Darmian, Carrick, Mata

Doubtful None

Injured Mkhitaryan (thigh, 24 Sep), Jones (knee, 17 Oct)

Suspended None

Form WWWL

Discipline Y7 R0

Leading scorer Ibrahimovic 4