90 min +2: Carrillo burns down the right and stands one up in the mixer. Lindelof is forced to head out for a corner, under intense pressure from Deeney. The set piece leads to nothing. On the touchline, Mourinho races from the dugout to give Rashford a bollocking for some unknown reason. You’ve got to hand it to him: a relentless pursuit of perfection.

90 min: There will be four added minutes. Time for a couple more, the way these teams have been carrying on.

89 min: Watford, to their immense credit, refuse to give up. Richarlison breaks down the left and dribbles along the byline, firing with purpose into the six-yard box. De Gea turns the ball around the post with a strong wrist. The corner comes to nothing.

88 min: Lingard ambles off the pitch with a wide smile, his work here done. He’s replaced by Ibrahimovic.

82 min: Mariappa hooks one into the mixer from the left. Young chests it down and aims a blooter upfield, only to watch in horror as the ball rebounds off Deeney and towards goal. Fortunately for United, it eventually loops well wide right of the target. But for a split second, United hearts were in mouths.

81 min: Watford are enjoying plenty of the ball as United sit back, concentrating on their defensive shape. Richarlison makes off down the left, and looks for Deeney in the box. But his cross is hysterical and flies wildly into the stand behind the goal.

80 min: United are sitting back, taking no chances. Six men across the front of the area. Femenia curls a cross in from the right. Deeney rises and wins the header, but he’s under pressure and pushed back to the edge of the box. He looks for the top right but that’s an easy claim for de Gea.

76 min: And now Lukaku bursts down the left, only to drag a shot across goal and out on the right.

75 min: Lukaku should make it four for United. He’s got the ball at his feet, alone on the penalty spot, the result of Rashford stripping Mariappa down the left and teeing it up. But he hesitates. Gomes comes out to close him down. Doucoure snaps at his ankles. Mariappa eventually blocks. What a chance spurned! That’s a hell of a miss. Funny thing, confidence.

74 min: A free kick for United out on the right. It’s sent onto the head of Pogba, who rises above Doucoure and should score from close range. But he sends a weak effort sailing harmlessly over the bar.

72 min: Deeney comes on for a fading Gray. Doucoure bursts down the inside-left channel. United, rather uncharacteristically, open up. Doucoure zips through the gap and into the box, but then scuffs his shooting opportunity. The ball nearly breaks to Deeney on the penalty spot. No. That would have been some introduction.

70 min: Mariappa strips the ball from Lukaku 30 yards from goal, takes a stride, and lashes a wild shot wide right of the goal. A sign of understandable frustration. Thing is, Watford haven’t played that badly tonight. They’ve just been steamrollered by United in one of their super-efficient moods.

68 min: Carrillo suddenly finds himself in a lot of space to the left of the United area, reward for a smart on-a-sixpence turn. He reaches the byline and fires into the six-yard box, which contains three yellow-shirted pals. There’s some pinball. But the ball doesn’t break to a Watford player, and Rojo is able to slam clear. On another day, etc.

66 min: Zeegelaar clatters into Lingard, who was in the process of executing a cheeky nutmeg. A free kick instead. It’s taken quickly by Pogba, and Lingard is found in space to the right of goal. His low shot is deflected out for a corner. Pogba tries to get a header on target from the set piece, but can’t manage it.

65 min: Rashford comes on to replace Martial.

64 min: Femenia has been bright for Watford, too. He skates down the right and whips deep for Richarlison, who rises and heads over from close range at the far post.

63 min: A deft Pogba flick sends Lingard scampering down the right. Lingard very nearly finds Lukaku on the penalty spot, but Mariappa is on hand to sweep up.

61 min: Carrillo looks to curl one into the top right from 25 yards. It doesn’t bother de Gea in the slightest, the United goalkeeper opting not to move, other than to roll his eyes as the ball sails over the bar. Ambitious. But then Watford need something special if they’re going to complete their seemingly impossible task.

60 min: Not much going on right now, the play having been broken up by all those changes.

58 min: Hughes is replaced by Pereyra, and it’s a double change, Carrillo coming on for Prodl.

57 min: Hughes goes scampering off down the right, in the hope of keeping a long ball in play. Then he pulls up, clutching the back of his leg. Oh dear. He trudges off, swearing under his breath. A shame, he’s been magnificent of late, and indeed tonight, despite the scoreline.

55 min: Matic, limping lightly and grimacing slightly, is replaced by the more sprightly Ander Herrera. Nobody in United garb looks particularly energised to welcome Matic to the bench, which suggests there’s no great panic about his condition, and no need for immediate medical attention. A precautionary measure, on the face of it.

53 min: And United move upfield at speed again. They’ve been devastating on the break tonight. Martial zooms towards the Watford box and slips the ball to Lukaku, just inside the area on his right. Lukaku is offside, and drags a lame shot across the face of goal anyway. His lack of confidence betrays him.

52 min: Hughes has been Watford’s one ray of light tonight. He really does look the part. He starts a Watford attack which ends with Richarlison having a dig from just inside the area. The ball clips off Smalling’s elbow. Watford want a penalty, but they’re not getting it. A corner instead. The ball’s hoicked into the mixer. Smalling clanks into Prodl, and there’s another shout for a spot kick. Neither claim was particularly convincing. We move on.

50 min: A free kick for Watford out on the left. They load the box. Cleverley floats it in. Smalling clears with ease. United break upfield, Lingard tearing down the right. Mariappa does very well to keep up with the speedy forward and slide the ball out for a corner. Nothing much comes from the set piece.

48 min: Romelu Lukaku could do with a goal: just one in his last 11 matches. He has a look from a position to the right of the Watford D. It’s easily blocked. That early-season form continues to elude him. But this is the sort of evening during which his luck could turn.

47 min: Richarlison finds Cleverley down the left wing. The midfielder crosses low and hard, but it’s easily claimed by an otherwise bored David de Gea. There were no yellow shirts in there to put pressure on the United keeper.

And we’re off again! That was a wonderful first 45 from Manchester United, who soaked up a little early Watford pressure with ease, then burst into life in devastating fashion. The stunned hosts get the ball rolling for the second 45, and will be desperate to avoid the six-goal shellacking handed out by Manchester City; you can bet United fancy their chances of repeating the punishment and sending a message across town. “Do you think Mourinho might have been listening to the interviews that Cantona has been giving over the past few days about his preference for Guardiola’s style of play?” wonders David Wall.

Half-time advertisement: Just in case you’ve yet to start your Christmas shopping and are at a loss regarding stocking fillers.

45 min +2: Femenia makes like George Best, dribbling at pace from a deep position on the right, across the park to the left-hand side of the United area. He scoops a cross into the middle. Richarlison, six yards out, loops a header over a flailing de Gea, but onto the top of the bar and out of play. So unlucky!

45 min: It should be four. Lukaku powers down the middle and fires low and hard towards the goal. Gomes can only parry, the ball breaking to the left. Lingard is first onto the loose ball, and must score, but he hammers the shot straight at Gomes, who tips over spectacularly. That’s a fine save, though Gomes should never have had a chance. The resulting corner comes to nothing.

43 min: Lindelof manages to concede a free kick for hand ball while chesting down a simple short throw-in. The free kick comes to nothing, but that was careless and a wee bit strange.

42 min: ... he blooters the ball straight into the wall. No good. No hat-trick. Ah well. To be fair, he’s earned the right. He’s been superb.

41 min: Martial glides down the centre of the park. He’s unceremoniously scythed down by a panicking Mariappa. No complaints. Another free kick in a dangerous position, just outside the box in the middle. Young snatches the ball. Mine. It’s his. He shapes, he shoots ...

40 min: Richarlison slides the ball down the left for Zeegelaar on the overlap. The masked Zeegelaar - thanks to Andy Carroll for that one - slams a low, hard cross into the box. It’s hoicked clear by Smalling. Then another phase, as Doucoure tries to fashion space to shoot from 25 yards. He doesn’t carve anything out.

38 min: Gray tries to break down the right wing, and is cynically grabbed by Rojo. That’s a fairly obvious booking.

36 min: Watford are finding it very difficult to dispossess Pogba in the midfield. The United midfielder is strutting around in the commanding style. Cleverley is reduced to a cynical tug. The resulting free kick, near the centre circle, comes to nothing, but the incident further illustrates United’s utter dominance right now.

35 min: Martial and Lingard ping the ball off each other on the edge of the Watford D. For a second it looks as though Martial will work space to shoot, but it doesn’t quite come off for United. Prodl hacks clear.

34 min: Watford will be thinking dark thoughts at the moment, as memories of Manchester City’s visit come flooding back. City scored six times back in September. The way this game is going, their neighbours are currently well on track to do the same.

29 min: Suddenly Watford’s passes aren’t sticking as they once were. Prodl channels his inner Beckenbauer and strides down the middle, but his ball down the wing for Richarlison is easily snaffled by Smalling.

27 min: Vicarage Road has fallen pretty quiet, the vocal stylings of the United travelling support apart. And no wonder: Watford have played reasonably well so far, yet they’re suddenly a couple of goals adrift, thanks to those superb strikes by their one-time hero Ashley Young.

24 min: Pogba embarks on a determined, long-legged strut down the middle. He eats up yards and yards. Eventually Doucoure takes a handful of his shirt and drags him to the ground. A free kick, 25 yards out in a very dangerous position, and a deserved booking for the Watford man.

22 min: Young takes the corner. The ball flies over the Watford area and out for a goal kick on the right. Lukaku and Smalling were lurking at the far post, but the ball didn’t drop for them. For a split second, as the ball arced through the air, a quickfire second looked on the cards.

21 min: United have their tails up now. Young floats a ball down the left for Martial, who twists, turns and nearly breaks clear into the box. He settles for a corner, as the ball pings off Prodl.

18 min: Kabasele tries to free the relentless Hughes down the left, but with United slightly light at the back, the pass trundles out of play for a throw. Nothing quite coming off yet for either team.

16 min: Martial makes off down the inside-left channel. He has a dig from the edge of the box, but the effort is blocked at source by Femenia. Martial picks up the rebound and tries to dribble his way through, but the ball breaks to Gomes, who gathers. This game is open, with both teams going for it ... but it’s yet to tip over into genuine excitement. Plenty of time.

15 min: Lingard sashays down the right and earns a corner off Prodl. The Watford defender clears the set piece. Pogba takes a throw-in out on the right, in the hope of keeping the pressure on. He flings it straight out of play for a goal kick, much to the home support’s collective amusement.

13 min: Hughes looks the real deal. Quarterbacking in the centre circle, he sprays a pass down the left channel for Richarlison, who then tries to tee up the rampaging Doucoure with a cushioned pass inside. Doucoure is desperate to shoot, but the ball doesn’t sit up for him, and the chance is gone.

11 min: Hughes feeds Femenia down the right, the full back threatening to tear free on the overlap. Rojo sticks to him. Femenia reaches the byline and, under pressure, hooks one across that a backtracking de Gea is forced to tip over the crossbar. From the corner, Richarlison has half a chance of planting a header goalwards but can only whack the ball straight at his own man Prodl.

9 min: Watford have developed a taste for attack now. Some space for Richarlison down the left. He curls into the box, the ball dipping and dangerous. Gray tries to connect, eight yards out, but Rojo does enough to put him off. The ball sails through the area harmlessly.

7 min: Watford show in attack for the first time. First Kabasele pings Cleverley free down the left. The former United man crosses, but there’s nobody in yellow in the area. Then another phase down the right. Femenia floats a cross towards Richarlison, on the edge of the six-yard box in a central position. Richarlison shapes to head goalwards, but he’s legally eased off it by the wily Lindelof. There’s a half-arsed claim for a penalty, but nothing’s doing, and rightly so.

5 min: Watford have yet to string more than a couple of passes together. United are enjoying the lion’s share of possession. Lingard becomes the third United man to zip down the left. He finds Martial in the area with a low ping. Martial can’t control, letting the ball clank off his shin when there was time to turn and face the goal. A little careless.

3 min: But United launch another attack down the same flank, Martial swaying this way and that as he advances towards the box. Femenia stands his ground and the danger is repelled. A solid, if unspectacular, start by the visitors.

2 min: The in-form Young makes good ground down the left, reaching the byline then cutting back and earning himself enough time to pick a pass. Shame, then, that his ball into the box is aimless, and easily cleared by Prodl.

And we’re off! United get the ball rolling. The back three of Rojo, Lindelof and Smalling get an early touch. So does de Gea in goal. All very measured. No fast start. Plenty of time yet for thrills and spills.

No pre-match soundbites from the managers. That’s ... refreshing. Do we miss them? Not really, no. And here come the teams! Watford in their first-choice yellow, Manchester United in their famous red. Hands are shaken ... then cupped and blown into. Anything to keep warm. It’s a cold, crisp, cold, clear, cold night in Hertfordshire. We’ll be off in a minute!

Incidentally, there are three other Premier League fixtures tonight. Leicester City host Tottenham Hotspur, West Bromwich Albion welcome Newcastle United to the Hawthorns, and Brighton & Hove Albion and Crystal Palace rekindle their strange and passionate rivalry. You can follow them all with super Tommy Lutz, your Clocko hero.

Watford make one change to the starting XI sent out to defeat Newcastle at the weekend. Sebastian Prodl replaces Miguel Britos; it’s his first start since August.

Manchester United rejig the team that beat Brighton to the tune of two. Juan Mata and Marcus Rashford drop to the bench, making way for Marcus Rojo and Jesse Lingard. This is Rojo’s first appearance in the Premier League since April.