Lampard wanted Maguire sent off ...

Jonathan Liew on Bruno Fernandes ...

That’s all for me - I’ll leave you with Jacob Steinberg’s report from Samford Bridge. Night!

90+3 min: Ighalo misses a great chance to score! Fred put him through with a nice short pass, and Ighalo poked an instinctive shot that was blocked by the outrushing Caballero. He probably should have scored.

90+2 min Diogo Dalot replaces Bruno Fernandes, who had another encouraging game and made the second goal.

90+1 min Odion Ighalo comes on to make his Manchester United debut in place of Anthony Martial, who scored a lovely opening goal. There will be five added minutes.

90 min “If you look back at the moment they froze the play for the VAR on Giroud’s goal (the first shot showing the cross), that blurry thing representing the ball was well on its way off the foot of the crosser,” says Mike Greville. “Just too late. Just saying. He probably was not offside when the ball was struck. Cue indignation at ‘factual’ decisions.”

Yes, I’ve thought this all along – I don’t trust the accuracy at all, especially not when there are so many moving parts.

89 min Mount hits the post with an ingenious free-kick! Everyone expected a cross from an inside-right position, but Mount hammered it low and hard towards the near post. De Gea scrambled across and hit the post himself, just after the ball. He looks groggy and needs treatment.

88 min A Chelsea corner pinballs around the area. Eventually Reece James’s low shot is deflected behind for another corner. This one is headed away by Bailly.

87 min I’m not the biggest fan of Luke Shaw but he’s had a really good game as the left-sided centre-back.

85 min A win would take United up to seventh, three points behind Chelsea in fourth. The game is petering out; all connected with Chelsea look thoroughly VARed off.

84 min “Haha lolz Varchestvar Varnited?!” says Niall Mullen.

83 min Azpilicueta looks like he wants to hurt someone. His head went about 20 minutes ago.

82 min “Do you think if the refs took the rule from rugby - any backchat about decisions and the decision reverses or it goes forward by 10 yards - would work in football?” asks Ruth Purdue. “Taylor is getting a lot of abuse for every call, as per usual.”

Didn’t they try that in the early 2000s? Everyone just ignored it and it was scrapped after a few years.

80 min A Manchester United change: Andreas Pereira replaces Daniel James.

79 min Wan-Bissaka is booked for an altercation with Azpilicueta. I’m not sure why only one of them was booked, but anyway.

76 min Williams is booked for a foul on Willian.

75 min Fernandes goes down holding his face after wearing a straight arm from Giroud. Welcome to England! Kovacic is also struggling, and Chelsea have used all three subs.

73 min A lovely flick from Giroud finds Kovacic, who scoots into the area and looks certain to score until Bailly appears from nowhere to make a spectacular block. That was brilliant defending.

71 min Fernandes’s set-pieces have been good tonight. He hits them with so much pace.

70 min Maguire’s dangerous header across goal, from Fernandes’s booming free-kick, is nutted behind by Azpilicueta. Martial was waiting behind him to score.

68 min Olivier Giroud replaces Michy Batshuayi, who had a bit of a nightmare.

68 min “Hi Rob,” says Bobby Moore. “One of football’s great delights is watching two of your rivals kick each other to bits. Throw in floodlights, some VAR shenanigans, and a can or two, and you’ve got yourself a lovely evening.”

Here’s some post-match entertainment for you.

It was made by Bruno Fernandes, who bulleted a corner from the left towards the penalty spot. Maguire arrived late, got in front of Rudiger and planted an emphatic downward header into the net. He shouldn’t be on the field, but that was a brilliant header.

64 min ... and Fernandes whips it off the post! It was a superb effort, curled around the wall, and it thumped off the bottom of the near post. Caballero may have it covered but it was a lovely strike.

64 min The free-kick is almost on the right edge of the area. Fred and Fernandes are over it...

63 min Pedro dithers on the edge of his own area, is robbed by Fred and pulls him down. It was definitely outside the area.

60 min The ever impressive Reece James wins a corner for Chelsea. Nothing comes on this one.

58 min Zouma leads with his studs while tackling Martial, who goes over in a heap. Fred then gets involved and is booked, as is Zouma for the original tackle.

56 min Azpilicueta definitely pushed Williams. But there’s a good argument that Fred eased Azpilicueta into Williams in the first place. It could have gone either way, but when you add it to the Maguire incident Chelsea have good reason to be hacked off.

54 min Mount’s shot is pushed onto the post by de Gea, though the whistle had gone for handball by Batshuayi.

51 min Bailly, who has had a very encouraging game on his return, steps in to win the ball and start another United attack. Eventually Shaw overruns the ball and is dispossessed by Pedro.

50 min “Does Martial deserve a bit more patience to develop into a really consistent centre forward?” says David Wall. “He’s still relatively young and although he has been at United a while now he seemed pretty much ostracised during the last year or so of Mourinho’s time there (in spirit if not in body, never getting a consistent run after Sanchez arrived). And now he’s being asked to play as a proper centre forward rather than a wide attacking player coming in from the left, where he played most of his games before this season. True, that’s where he says he wants to play, but it still takes a while to really develop in a new-ish position, as shown by the way Henry was far from the deadly striker he became when first arriving at Arsenal.”

That’s true, but Henry had pretty much cracked it after three or four months, and he was a couple of years younger. Martial has the ability and intelligence to improve as a centre-forward - tonight’s goal is an example of that - but I’m not sure he’ll ever have the attitude or temperament to be a great player. That said, United are not really in a position to sell players like Martial.

47 min Rudiger is booked for a cynical foul on Fernandes.

46 min Chelsea begin the second half. Christensen is being checked for concussion, which makes you wonder why he was allowed back on the field. I have no idea how these things work.

Chelsea have made a half-time substitution, with Kurt Zouma on for the injured Andreas Christensen.

The replays of the Maguire incident suggest he was exceedingly lucky to avoid a red card. At first I thought you could at least argue it was a reflex action, but the replays are pretty damning. He studded Batshuayi in the business area!

Half-time reading

45+4 min Batshuayi misses another chance, driving tamely wide of the far post after a good through pass from Pedro. It was a pretty tight angle, in his defence, but the shot was painfully lacking in conviction.

45+1 min That was the first shot on target in the match.

That’s another one for Martial’s YouTube compilation. Wan-Bissaka made the goal, twisting Willian one way and then the other before crossing to the near post. Martial got above Christensen, who had just come back on the field, and flicked an accomplished header into the far corner. Nobody ever doubted his class, and that was another demonstration.

44 min There’s a break in play while Christensen receives treatment for a bloody nose. He’ll be fine.

41 min There’s another example. Chelsea move the ball smoothly from right to left, only for the overlaaping Azpilicueta to hit his cross straight at Wan-Bissaka.

39 min This match has flattered to deceive. There have been lots of promising attacks from both teams, and precisely no shots on target. Abraham and Rashford are having good games.

37 min A half chance for Martial. He played a nice one-two with Fernandes on the left, moved into the area and drove a low, left-footed shot that went a few yards wide of the far post.

36 min It was just outside the area, so VAR can’t get involved. Replays suggest it was a clear foul.

35 min Willian is booked for diving. I thought he was fouled by Fernandes, right on the edge of - and possibly inside - the area. This will be checked.

33 min “To me, Martial is a YouTube great in the making,” says Vibanshu Bisht. “As in, 10 years down the line, his 10 min highlights clip would make great viewing, making United fans who never saw him play 90 minutes think he was the greatest. A bit like what Berbatov is now.”

That’s a really good comparison, certainly in terms of temperament and flattery to deceive. Unlike Berbatov, though, I can’t imagine Martial in Eyes Wide Shut.

31 min A corner is cleared to Bruno Fernandes, who rakes a shot well wide from 30 yards.

31 min Williams surges down the left and plays a dangerous low cross towards James that is kicked behind by Kovacic. There still hasn’t been a shot on target.

30 min “I do like Luke Shaw and I do feel that Mourinho broke him really as a player,” says Rachel Clifton. “But he does always look a touch like someone woke him up three minutes before kick-off.”

I’ve never understood the fuss about Shaw, really. He’s in terrible shape and I’ve never seen much evidence that he is anything more than a decent full-back.

28 min “If Chelsea do not win, Liverpool will have qualified for the Champions League even if City are reinstated,” writes my colleague Philip Cornwall. “It would be impossible for both Chelsea and Spurs to finish ahead of the leaders, given they meet on Saturday. Both would kick off needing to win all their final 12 games to match or overhaul Liverpool’s 76 points, if that game kicks off with Spurs on 40 and Chelsea on 41 or 42 - and only one of them can win that match.”

Yes, but what have they actually won?

26 min Batshuayi misses a sitter! It was beautifully set up: Pedro slid a penetrative pass down the inside-left channel to Mount, who looked up and picked out Batshuayi with a precise cutback pass. He made a mess of a simple chance, steering just wide from 12 yards with his left foot.

24 min “Evening Rob,” says Niall Mullen. “As a seasoned United watcher can you tell me is Martial really good or just alright? Everything about him screams elite attacking player but his record is unspectacular. He’s also 24 now so he should be approaching his peak years.”

He’s the kind of player you’d be scared to sell, because he could be a superstar, but I suspect he’ll always be a bit too easygoing to fulfil his potential. It’d be interesting to see what he’d be like under a great man-manager/motivator like Klopp.

23 min Chelsea miss a good opportunity when Willian’s cutback is just behind Batshuayi on the six-yard line. A better ball would have given him an open goal.

22 min Maguire survives a VAR check for a red card. He was pushed over by Batshuayi, and fell into the Chelsea dugout. As he did so he left his legs in the air and ended up gently studding Batshuayi in the thigh. It’s hard to be certain of intent, I suppose, but I’m pretty sure he knew what he was doing.

21 min A promising break from United ends when Martial whacks a shot that is blocked by Rudiger.

18 min Pedro pulls Wan-Bissaka over, gets away with it and hits a dangerous low cross that is cleared by Shaw.

16 min “Hi Rob,” says Stephen Carr. “Quite a lot of pointless running about isn’t there?”

Hang on, how did you get into the office?

13 min Mason Mount replaces Kante.

12 min Fernandes and Fred combine really nicely on the edge of the area before Fred’s drive is blocked by Rudiger.

11 min Kante walks off slowly - “not the most sorry sight if you’re a Manchester United fan,” says Gary Neville on Sky - and will be replaced as soon as Mason Mount is ready.

10 min Kante is receiving treatment, and it doesn’t look good. He’s not in any obvious pain but it looks like a muscle problem and I don’t think he’ll be able to continue.

8 min It’s been a breezy, attacking start to the game, with Chelsea in particular looking good. Willian runs at Williams just inside the area, makes some space with a stepover and drives a left-footed shot that goes a few yards wide of the far post.

7 min “Hi Rob,” says Matt Pearson. “Chelsea fan here. Given that both our goalkeepers teeter pretty evenly on the axis of unspectacular and gaffe-prone, do you think Frank has kept Kepa on the bench just because he knows what a nightmare it would be to try and sub him off? Or does this spell the beginning of the end for the £72 million sometime-shot-stopper?”

I don’t say this with any authority, as I’m not in any of Frank Lampard’s WhatsApp groups, but I suspect that at this stage it’s no more or less than a kick up the trousers. From afar, it feels like Chelsea have more pressing requirements than a new goalkeeper.

6 min A fine effort from Reece James flies just wide. He controlled a cross on the chest on the edge of the area, moved the ball onto his right foot and drove a low shot that took a slight touch off Brandon Williams and rolled just wide of the far post.

4 min United are playing 3-4-1-2, as expected. Chelsea’s formation is 4-3-3, also as expected, but with Pedro on the left and Willian on the right.

3 min Bailly is robbed by Pedro, spraking the first Chelsea attack. Matic ends it with a decent interception.

2 min “You once mentioned my name almost 10 years ago, when I was reading an MBM in the British Library instead of writing an essay,” says Chris Ioannou. “I asked politely and you accommodated. See, Rob is one of the good ones... also, have you really been writing MBMs for that long?”

No, you’re confusing me with the other Rob Smyth. Such a shame what happened to him.

1 min Peep peep! Manchester United kick off from left to right. They are in red; Chelsea are in blue.

“Thanks for sharing the Harry Gregg obituary,” says Ryan Grubb. “One hell of a life lived there. I can only imagine how much everyone, everywhere rooted for that team in the FA Cup run in 58. Really puts our habits as modern supporters in perspective. Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got some clouds to yell at.”

“Hi Rob,” says John Ryan. “What’s your prediction for tonight? Can see both sides scoring.”

I fancy Chelsea to win fairly convincingly, maybe 2-0, although both teams are so unpredictable that anything could happen. United have looked bereft in attack without Marcus Rashford, though Bruno Fernandes should improve that side of their play.

“As a Watford fan, I want to see Odion Ighalo do well (except against the Hornets on Sunday),” says Mac Millings. “And as a dreadful puns fan, I want to see him named in an all-time Cinema XI:

1. IMAXwell
2. Emlyn Vues
3. Odeon Ighalo
4. Alex Roxylade-Chamberlain
5. Alessandro Rialtobelli
6. Roberto 3-D Matteo
7. Pearl and Dean Holdsworth
8. Ritz Hall
9. Lobby Robson
10. Savoy Hodgson
11. Leroy Sanéworld

“If I simply say ‘Hi Rob’ to Rob Smyth, am I likely to get a mention?” asks Graham Moger. “We will see... and could indicate the extent of interest, or otherwise, in tonight’s game. Or simply how polite and accommodating Rob is?”

Oh, I’m one of the good guys. This has been established over a number of years, but it never hurts to gratuitously advertise my inherent magnificence.

“A win for United will get them closer to magic number of 40 points and eliminate any relegation fears,” says Mary Waltz. “How the mighty have fallen.”

They haven’t fallen that far, at least not yet.

Pre-match soundtrack

“Man Utd drew away to Liverpool at Old Trafford?” sniffs Alec Smith.

They played like the away side that day. That’s not a criticism; they did it brilliantly.

Pre-match reading

Harry Gregg died yesterday at the age 0f 87. He was a hero in ways that shame our silly modern lives, and it’s telling that most tributes dwelt even more on his character than his enormous football ability.