The body shaming of one of Australia’s top footballers this week has exposed the lack of progress preventing online abuse, as the growing influence of women’s sport clashes with outdated perceptions of what constitutes a healthy body.

As players face the challenge of engaging with growing legions of fans and suppressing online trolls, some want to phase out discussing female athletes’ appearances altogether. Meanwhile, the president of one of the country’s biggest AFL clubs said the government’s reform of social media can help break the cycle of internet poison.

Last week Essendon star Maddy Prespakis called out body shaming sent to her on social media by raising her guernsey and pointing to her midriff after kicking a goal against the Gold Coast and leading the Bombers to a fourth-straight victory.

Essendon co-captain Bonnie Toogood said Prespakis is a “phenomenal human” and the players support her. “We think she’s amazing, she’s so valuable to us, and I hope we start making ground on [social media abuse]. We just have to somehow, as athletes, block out the noise.”

Essendon president David Barham said he was proud of how Prespakis – a midfielder voted best player in the AFLW in 2020 – is handling the situation. “I’m really proud of her standing up and addressing what is a terrible issue, and being proud of herself and proud of our club.”

He noted the government’s reform of social media laws – which are currently being drafted to address online harms – may assist, but it was up to clubs to provide support in the interim. “Footy clubs are very supportive places, in terms of each sticking together and staying together and hanging tough with each other,” he said.

Sarah Perkins, a former AFLW footballer, is one of many to message support to Prespakis this week. “I reached out to her and said that if she needed someone to speak to, I was here to chat. But also to remind her that she is a strong and powerful athlete, and she’s perfect the way that she is, because the way that she plays footy is exactly the way that her body allows her to be, and she’s one of the best footballers in our game.”

Perkins has been open about being targeted by abuse in a long football career that ended this year. Today, in her work as an education assistant, she feels there is progress being made among young Australians to cultivate appropriate ways to discuss athletes.

But children hearing adults use abusive comments in the stands, or seeing them posted on social media, undermines the positive steps. “It’s about the way that we raise the children around us, or what they hear older people saying,” Perkins says. “We’re not setting the next generation up for success if [body shaming] comments are being made at the footy or they’re being able to read these comments online.”

Dr Zali Yager, co-executive director of the Embrace Collective, has spent two decades considering risk factors that could lead young people to develop negative ideas around their bodies. She said some like biology can’t be controlled, but many can – especially socio-cultural influences from peers, family and the media.

“We need to remember that athletes are not just objects to be admired, they are actually doing incredible things,” she said. “We don’t want athletes to be worrying about how they look – we want them to be able to focus on their performance.”

Female athletes, she believes, face challenges stemming from the way society expects sportspeople to look, but also how women more broadly should look. “There’s negative commentary on both sides, whether they’re on the field or off the field,” she said.

Yager, who works alongside 2023 Australian of the Year Taryn Brumfitt, said there must be acceptance that people should not, as a general rule, comment on people’s bodies.

“We are still a little bit stuck, I think there has to be some leadership from the top in order to make sure that we have an understood guideline that we just should not comment on anyone’s bodies, but particularly women’s bodies when they’re trying to play sport” she said.

“If you can flip that [the discussion of women athletes’ bodies] from being focused on appearance to being focused on functionality, then maybe that’s the reframe that could lead to a better outcome,” she said.

Ian Lane, a 76-year-old Essendon fan, was one of 4,011 – the highest standalone crowd in Victoria this season – at Whitten Oval on Friday watching Prespakis tally 27 disposals. “We’re all different in our body shape and what we can do,” he said.

“And it’s quite simple, and it doesn’t matter where you are in the world or whatever stage of life, there is always someone that will have a go, and generally they’re trying to cover for themselves.”