This week the footy spotlight shines on Brisbane as it hosts more finals in the major men’s codes than either Sydney or Melbourne. Believe the press, and the River City is also ground zero in the nation’s seemingly eternal war between rugby league and Australian rules football. But to the local AFL and NRL players, nothing could be further from the truth.

After the Lions defeated Port Adelaide two weeks ago, Broncos players including Adam Reynolds, Patrick Carrigan, Reece Walsh and Tristan Sailor – who had locked in their own preliminary final the night before – joined the Lions in the rooms.

This tradition of cross-code respect, rather than rivalry, goes back decades. During Wayne Bennett’s tenure as Broncos coach and Brisbane’s AFL three-peat in the early 2000s, Bennett would regularly fraternise with Lions coach Leigh Matthews. The powerful duo would be joined by cricket coach John Buchanan, another Queenslander who at the time was helping Australia’s men’s cricket team to its greatest ever period of success.

The tradition continues beyond the men’s teams. In July, the clubs’ AFLW and NRLW squads and staff came together for a new initiative, prompted by a conversation between Lions coach Craig Starcevich and Paul Dyer, the Broncos’ NRLW and game development head.

“I met Craig [Starcevich] in the offseason and I said to him, I’d love to get both teams together as often as we can,” Dyer says. “Not only to share ideas amongst both organisations with the women’s programme, but just to have the girls come together from time to time.”

The first formal collaboration happened in July. The Broncos visited the Lions’ new training base at Springfield one evening for a meet-and-greet, a joint coaches meeting and a hybrid training session.

Lions captain Breanna Koenen says several of her teammates follow the NRLW closely and it was “cool” to have the players visit. “We played a few little games teaching and learning a lot of different skills,” she says. “They have a very similar group to ours in how energetic and fun loving they are.”

Breeanna Brock, head of women’s football at the Lions, believes it was a valuable opportunity. “It was awesome just to connect,” she says. “Just being able to get the girls together to share their stories as fellow female athletes and the challenges that they all face.” Since then, several players have remained in contact and large groups in both squads have watched the others’ games.

That sentiment between the Lions and Broncos is a sharp contrast to the headlines of recent months, emphasising rivalry and division between the codes. At around the time the Lions and Broncos bonded privately, outgoing AFL chief executive Gillon McLachlan was publicly provocative. “We will be the biggest sport in that market in Queensland in five to 10 years across most metrics”, he told Melbourne radio station 3AW. “Queensland is pumping and becoming an AFL state.”

A press release issued last month showed the AFL had more than 68,000 registered players in the state. That figure was just barely more than the Queensland Rugby League’s tally of their own participants.

To some, the count was too convenient. Former rugby league coach and now columnist, Roy Masters, told the ABC Offsiders program two weeks ago the AFL’s figure reflected creative accounting. “If you count the number of kids that turn up to Auskick .. you give him a ball and you send him home after 15 minutes,” he said. “And you count him the same as a brave young boy who plays the 13-a-side game for 60 minutes.”

Trisha Squires, the head of AFL Queensland, stands by her organisation’s figures. “The 68,000 participants figure is what we deem as registered participants, so that’s participants that opt in,” she says. “So yes, we’re very comfortable that data is correct.”

The code has grown significantly in Queensland, especially in the past three years, and she says that has created challenges finding facilities and people to support the competitions. “One of our biggest focuses is around our matchday environment, around our ecosystem of coaches, volunteers and umpires in particular.”

From the perspective of Dyer in rugby league, the “top-down” nature of AFL, compared to the federated model of his sport, has helped the southern code deliver a consistent experience to kids in Queensland. He believes league must work hard to ensure junior coaches on suburban ovals – almost exclusively parents, friends, or long-time volunteers – are creating an environment children want to be part of.

“Probably the biggest issue that the game faces at a grassroots level is the lack of knowledge of our volunteer base,” he says. “Ultimately, you’re trying to create an environment that every time that young boy or girl jumps the fence, they’re sprinting across to you as their coach and they just can’t wait to get out on the field and learn and develop and be with their mates.”

Despite its challenges, Dyer believes rugby league in Queensland is extremely healthy. And while there’s plenty to discuss for the future, ultimately it’s hard to look too far ahead. ”I feel like we’re just in a really strong position for both those codes here in Queensland at the moment, we’ve just come off the back of the Matildas’ World Cup experience that had a heavy focus in and around Brisbane and Queensland as well,” he says. “So I think it’s really exciting for what could unfold over the next couple of weeks.”

There’s the Broncos’ NRLW semi-final this Sunday. The same day, the Lions will look to build momentum towards a third-straight AFLW grand final appearance with a match against the Kangaroos. And the night before, the AFL has scheduled Brisbane’s preliminary final against Carlton in the early evening, minimising the crossover with the Broncos’ NRL clash with the Warriors.

Queensland sport minister Stirling Hinchliffe says the image of the Broncos in the Lions’ rooms after the victory last week captured the “cross-code solidarity” that is engulfing the state. “Queenslanders love to back a winner no matter the sport and when that winner is a Queensland team, we all celebrate.”

Sherrin or Steeden? This week in Brisbane, that question misses the point.