The dates come in
It’s not a complete exaggeration to say that Australia won the 2025-26 Ashes on 15 October 2024. That was when Cricket Australia announced the schedule for the series: Perth first, Brisbane second. Starting the series on the bounciest, most Kryptonicious pitches in Australia – and the only major venues where England haven’t won a Test since 1986-87 – was a masterstroke, especially as Australia also had a day-night advantage at the Gabba. By the time England reached more batting-friendly climes, many of their batters already had scrambled brains.
A trip to Lilac Hill
We may never know the whole truth about whether England could have used the Waca in Perth ahead of the first Test. But even the most fervent disciple of Bazball would surely concede that warming up for an Ashes series in Australia with a two-day intrasquad game at Lilac Hill was like preparing your ears for a Slipknot gig – front row, no earplugs – by listening to Brian Eno’s Ambient 1: Music for Airports on loop.
ABC becomes FFS
By scoring at unprecedented speed, England have redefined Test batting in the Bazball years. In the first Test they redefined the alphabet of batting by turning the ABC of playing at Perth (don’t drive on the up, ever) into the FFS. England were effectively 116 for two in their second innings when Ollie Pope, Harry Brook and, most FFS-inducingly of all, Joe Root all played loose drives in the space of six deliveries. It was over in the space of an over: England lost three wickets for no runs and have not been in control of a game since.
Head blasts away at Perth
One of the most startling things about Travis Head’s mind-blowing rampage at Perth was how controlled it was. But every play and miss is a wicket that might have been and there is a parallel universe in which Head nicks the second ball of the innings, a beauty from Jofra Archer, instead of missing it. Given the nervous passivity of Australia’s batting in the first innings, the early dismissal of Head could have changed everything. We’ll never know.
Carey moves to the stumps
A sweet on-drive for four by Zak Crawley isn’t an obvious Ashes-losing moment. But that shot, played off Michael Neser at the start of the second session on day one at Brisbane, came just after Alex Carey had moved up to the stumps for the first time. Carey subsequently stood up to Neser and Scott Boland for long periods after discussions with the fielding coach Andre Borovec. It kept the batters in their crease, creating a claustrophobia and a danger that not even England could run towards. Carey’s stunning catch to dismiss Ben Stokes in the second innings will be replayed forever; even without that wicket, the tactic had borne plentiful fruit.
Inglis takes down Stokes
England were 210 for four at Brisbane when Josh Inglis brilliantly ran out Stokes, who we now realised had arrived at the Gabba in over-my-dead-body mode. Given how well Root played in that innings, he and Stokes could have batted England into a position of complete control. Instead they struggled to reach a nothing score of 334.
Smith miss sets the tone
In literal terms, Jamie Smith dropping Head at Brisbane only cost 30 runs: Head, on three at the time, was dismissed for 33 soon after. But it ramped up the pressure on Smith to almost unbearable levels, set the tone for a costly fielding display – and, most importantly, sparked an instant change in momentum. For the rest of that morning session on day two, aided by some lamentable bowling, Australia scored exactly 100 runs in 12.4 overs. It was an obscene rate of scoring; by the time England regained some control, it was too late.
Brook gives Khawaja another life
Brook dropping Usman Khawaja on the first morning at Adelaide – a tough chance but one he would probably take eight times out of 10 – had a similar impact. Khawaja, who wasn’t in the last-chance saloon so much as the post-career saloon, should have been out for five from 28 balls, with Australia 50 for three. The reprieve liberated him and he hit a vital 82 from 126 balls. Head also added another 71 after being dropped on 99 by Brook in the second innings.
Snicko intervenes
We don’t have the will to discuss Snicko again, so let’s just present the facts of Carey’s controversial reprieve on day one at Adelaide. He added another 34 runs to his score of 72, and Australia – who would have been 245 for seven – eventually made 371.
Cummins dominates Root again
Root’s dismissals are sliding doors that close quietly. They are usually significant but, bar one infamous reverse-scoop off Jasprit Bumrah, rarely stand out because of the restraint with which he plays. By Root’s standards of risk management, his dismissal in the first innings at Adelaide, pushing at a delivery from his nemesis Pat Cummins that he could have left, was a loose stroke. Root’s head-to-head average v Cummins of 22.6 is lower than David Warner’s against Stuart Broad, and both innings at Adelaide confirmed Cummins was still in his head. Root’s dismissal on day two reduced England to 71 for four in the best batting conditions of the series. Despite an admirable fight thereafter, they never quite recovered.
