Manchester City’s two-goal hero Omar Marmoush talks to Sky Sports. “We showed a very good mentality … together as a team for the very first minute … focus … we are very happy to make the final … I am very happy to score two goals [his xG was 0.9] … I wish I could get a hat-trick today … hopefully we can win the final … we are here to win trophies … win silverware … hopefully we can do it for the new players.”

Eddie Howe congratulates Pep Guardiola. Pep Guardiola commiserates with Eddie Howe. The City boss goes off to celebrate, while his Newcastle counterpart is a study in frustration and misery. The holders are out. In truth, Howe’s team were very much second best over the two-legged semi, and yet they had enough chances tonight – enough really good chances – to have made the tie more of a contest. So they’ll head back north with a few what-ifs. But City were so clinical in that first half, with Omar Marmoush thoroughly deserving of his player-of-the-match reward. It’s going to be Master versus Apprentice in the 22 March final, as Pep takes on Mikel Arteta. Technical-area shenanigans ahoy!

90 min +1: Elanga runs purposefully down the inside-right channel. He’s dragged back by Rodri, who goes into the book. That’s taken Rodri, who really should have picked up a second yellow at Spurs last weekend, just 20 minutes. He’s been a little off the pace since coming back. Anyway, nothing comes of the resulting free kick.

90 min: There will be two additional minutes.

89 min: Tonali lashes a shot straight at Trafford. He’s been busy this evening as well. Tonight’s scoreline tells a story, but there are others. There I am with the parallel universes again. Sorry Chris.

88 min: Cherki bombs down the inside-right channel and takes a whack from distance. Blocked. “I hope you realise that in your alternative universe of many Newcastle goals you’re condemning Chris to missing his bacon and egg roll and maybe even getting the sack,” tut-tuts Richard Hirst. “You need to be careful when playing with other people’s lives.”

87 min: The resulting corner is worked back to Rodri, whose steer towards the bottom right is parried then snaffled by Ramsdale, who has been busy of late.

86 min: Cherki dribbles hard, in from the right, and lays off to Haaland, who attempts to force a shot into the bottom right. Ramsdale turns around the post once more.

85 min: Ait-Nouri slaloms down the left – whipping up a little Winter Olympics fever along the way – and is then bundled over by Murphy. Cherki tries to catch Ramsdale out with a cheeky curler towards the bottom left, but the keeper reads the intention and claims. Haaland was hovering in case of any spill.

84 min: Before the resulting corner can be taken, Lewis comes on for Gonzalez, City’s last swap of the night. Then the corner happens, to little effect.

83 min: … and as though to illustrate that further, Cherki strokes a defence-splitter down the middle for Haaland, who takes a touch to enter the box before thrashing a low shot towards the bottom right. Ramsdale does extremely well to extend and tip around the post.

82 min: A free kick for Newcastle on halfway, to the left of the centre circle. Tonali launches it long. City allow it to bounce through a crowded bot to Elanga, on the right-hand side of the six-yard box. Elanga guides the ball across the face of goal, but Wissa can’t quite connect with his lunge. Newcastle have had several big chances tonight. It’s been such a weird game in that respect.

80 min: Haaland turns into a little space on the edge of the Newcastle D. He’s entitled to have a go himself, but selflessly slips a pass to his mate Marmoush, coming in from the left. Marmoush leans back and hoicks over the bar. That hat-trick remains elusive.

78 min: Gonzalez, in the process of being elegantly spun by Tonali, takes a huge handful of his opponent’s shirt and goes into the book.

76 min: Osula comes on for Trippier, Newcastle’s last change of the evening.

75 min: … so having said that, Ramsey is robbed by Gonzalez, 30 yards out, after faffing around in the distracted style. Gonzalez feeds Marmoush, who slots into the bottom left from the edge of the box. But he’s denied his hat-trick, the whistle having gone rather generously for the initial challenge.

74 min: Now Barnes has a shot from distance blocked. Newcastle have had six shots to City’s one in this second half. It’s an impressive response, given their sorry position at the break.

72 min: Newcastle launch yet another counter, Murphy curling a pass down the left to look for Elanga, who can’t reach the ball before Khusanov hacks behind for a corner. But the flag pops up for offside again. Even so, City haven’t looked particularly secure at the back. Newcastle have had their chances, and worked some decent situations.

71 min: City make a triple change, taking off O’Reilly, Semenyo and Foden and sending on Rodri, Cherki and Haaland.

70 min: Foden tries to tee up Semenyo but over-elaborates, allowing Burn to start a counter. Barnes scampers down the left and crosses low for Elanga, who opens his body and … slices wide right. He had to score. He was onside as well. Huge miss.

68 min: Newcastle have the ball in the net again! But this one won’t count. Elanga slips Wissa clear down the right. Wissa crosses low for Barnes, who uses Nunes as a shield before curling around the defender and into the bottom right. Cute finish, but he knows Wissa was miles offside. The flag goes up.

66 min: The Toon fans are in good voice, now serenading their goalscoring hero Elanga. “Paul Cumine’s post at 55 mins is quite true this summer,” begins Matthew Guite, by way of countering the party mood. “Top players I think want to win things as they only ever get a few chances. And they want to get paid an enormous amount of money. Probably more than winning things. Unfortunately we fail on both fronts.”

64 min: Jacob Murphy drives down the left in search of another consolation, and is harshly penalised for brushing Nunes aside. He had men in the middle free, waiting for a simple cutback, too.

61 min: The travelling Newcastle fans make a point of vocally backing their manager Eddie Howe. To be fair, he is the first manager to win a trophy for the club since Joe Harvey, a man born in 1918. He’s earned a fair bit of slack.

59 min: City reestablish some order with a little of that famous midfield ball-hogging.

57 min: Alleyne clumsily miscontrols in his own box and goes down in a tangle with Wissa, who goes over, a light tug on the front of his shirt. Wissa wants a penalty, but isn’t getting one. City go up the other end through Marmoush, who dances his way into the Toon area from the left and cuts back for Reijnders. It should be the Dutch midfielder’s second goal of the evening, but he steers wide left under no pressure whatsoever.

55 min: Turns out Reijnders was after a penalty for Botman easing him off the ball back then. Nope. Anyway, about that aforementioned parallel universe, here’s Paul Cumine: “Newcastle would have signed a combo of the following: Sesko, Ekitike, Delap, Cunha, Kudus, Pedro, Mbeumo, Guehi and Trafford. The fact they failed speaks volumes on the perception of the club by top-tier professionals.”

53 min: … and now Reijnders powers his way down the inside-left channel but can’t quite get the better of Botman, who is stuck to his side and shepherds the ball back to Ramsdale. Newcastle have been searching for a consolation; City don’t appear to have declared yet, either. It doesn’t feel like the scoring is over.

52 min: Marmoush dribbles down the right but what comes next is neither shot nor cross, and rolls harmlessly through the Newcastle box.

51 min: Elanga is sent scampering down the right. He’s got Barnes free in the middle, but takes too many touches before eventually crossing and Alleyene gets back to block. Nothing comes of the resulting corner. Newcastle, for all they’ve been blown out of the water on the scoreboard, will leave this stadium tonight with quite a few what-ifs.

49 min: Alleyne embarks on a Beckenbaueresque stride from the back to the Newcastle box. He lays off to Marmoush, who thinks about a curler towards the top right, but decides against it. The move fizzles out.

47 min: Newcastle have now had four very presentable chances to score. Somewhere, in a parallel universe, etc.

45 min 28 sec: Khusanov’s sloppy pass across his own back line allows Wissa to tear free down the inside-left channel. The defender races back to cause Wissa enough nibble-from-behind concern to screw his lobbed effort wide left.

City get the second half started. Newcastle have made three half-time changes, sending on Wissa, Murphy and Elanga for Woltemade, Willock and Hall. The hosts meanwhile have switched out Eke for Alleyne.

Half-time postbag. “I like the strategy of playing completely without a midfield in this game: it’s really opened things up nicely (for an early breakfast this morning)” – Chris Paraskevas

“At this point it’s not even about Howe anymore, but simply ‘why?’” – Peter Oh

“What more has to happen for Howe to be fired?” – Jeff Sax

“Tell me Ma, me Ma / I will be home for tea / Not going to Wemberlee / Tell me Ma, me Ma” – John, Ithaca, NY

“As a Sunderland fan I’m reminded of Oscar Wilde’s comment about Little Nell in the Old Curiosity Shop” – Steve Goldsmith

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45 min +3: From the resulting corner, Trippier crosses from the right. The ball hits Nunes on his forearm, which the defender was holding up, though not far from his body. Another one to file under Seen Them Given, but the fact Nunes was also turning his back means VAR isn’t interested. No lifeline for Newcastle.

45 min +2: Tonali dribbles down the right touchline and is upended by Ait-Nouri. Everyone lines up on the edge of the City box to wait for Trippier’s free kick. In it comes. Botman meets it with a header towards the top right. Trafford paws it away for a corner. That’s his third big save of the evening. For all City’s dominance, this could easily be 3-3 on the night.

45 min: There will be an additional four first-half minutes. Bad news for Newcastle, who are already dreaming of hearing the full-time whistle.

44 min: Gordon is able to wander off without a significant limp, but a limp nonetheless. He’s replaced by Barnes, who scored both goals in Newcastle’s 2-1 Premier League win last November.

42 min: Gonzalez takes a whack from distance. Ramsdale covers. Newcastle launch a counter, but Gordon goes down. He feels his hamstring and shakes his head. Foden comes over to check on his England colleague, and Gordon sighs the bad news. As if this half hasn’t been painful enough for the holders.

40 min: Newcastle enjoy, if that’s the correct word, some sterile possession at the back. Just to stop the ship from listing.

38 min: … as do Newcastle, but this corner comes to nothing. “It’s not all bad news, Scott,” begins Chris Paraskevas of work-breakfast-social fame. “There’s a world class BAER (Bacon and Egg Roll) on offer at this morning’s work catch-up. This particular BAER is expensively assembled and priced, but unlike this current Newcastle squad, it will not fold under pressure and I know I’ll enjoy consuming it.”

37 min: Hall ships possession cheaply, and Semenyo is able to release Reijnders into the box on the right. For a second it looks as though Reijnders has run the ball out for a goal kick, but he whips a shot towards the near post in time. The ball clanks Ramsdale in the chest, and out for a corner. That could easily have pinged into the goal. Ramsdale needs a minute to catch his breath.

35 min: Semenyo dribbles into the Newcastle box from the right and spins. Burn clips him from behind. No penalty, for some reason. You’ve seen them given for so much less. Had there not been five goals in this tie, that might have gone down as a moment of controversy.

34 min: I mean, Newcastle kind of had to go for it. No point dying wondering. But there’s nothing to wonder about now. Eddie Howe pulls Woltemade over to the touchline to offer some beneficial tactical advice.

31 min: There’s a brief VAR check to ascertain whether Semenyo was offside or not. He wasn’t, Trippier playing him on in the middle. It’ll be City versus Arsenal at Wembley in late March.

29 min: Trippier smashes the free kick towards the bottom left, but Trafford snaffles. Then City break, and …

28 min: Or maybe not. City over-elaborate. Nunes faffs around, 35 yards from his own goal, and Hall steals the ball away. Nunes tugs him back. He goes into the book. This is a free kick in a dangerous position.

26 min: … and perhaps the new plan is to also learn how to draw Woodstock drop back a bit and soak up some pressure. Catch a breath and see what’s what. They sit back. City stroke it around.

25 min: Eddie Howe is down on his haunches, scribbling away in his notebook.

23 min: … so that’s two massive one-on-one chances for Newcastle now. For all that City have been the better team, the visitors could easily be leading, their first-leg deficit halved. But here we all are.

21 min: Another big chance for Newcastle, and another fine Trafford save. This time it’s Gordon, sent into space down the inside-left. He tries to dink over the keeper, but Trafford stays tall and swats away.

20 min: Now it’s Marmoush’s turn to try his luck from distance. Another deflected shot, another corner. Newcastle only half clear, and Semenyo whistles a low drive inches wide of the left-hand post. Ramsdale had it covered.

18 min: Ait-Nouri barrels down the left and has a dig that’s deflected off Burn. The resulting corner leads to some pinball, and Foden’s shot is blocked. Then Semenyo is released down the right by Foden, and his cross, fired low and hard through the six-yard box, is missed by O’Reilly at the far post. Inches away from 2-0. No way is this ending 1-0.

16 min: Foden comes sliding in on Hall. One of those that looks worse than it actually is. The referee calms everyone down quickly enough. After the restart, Ramsey shins an ambitious 25-yard effort 25 yards over the bar.

14 min: Newcastle, who might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, continue to press hard in the hope of forcing a City mistake. Others of a black-and-white persuasion argue for a less bellicose approach. “Can we just shake hands and call it quits and this point?” sighs Paul Waggott. “A thin squad needs a rest and I’ll eat my hat if we can win 4-1 away from home this year. Handshake, smile, cuppa. Bish bash bosh.”

12 min: … so having said that, City nearly make it two, Reijnders swivelling down the inside left and whipping a high cross-cum-shot across goal that Ramsdale does very well to fingertip away. The ball may even have shaved the right-hand post as it flew wide. It’s been an entertaining start; this competition owed us something after last night. Quits already.

11 min: Newcastle have clearly decided that they may as well go for it now. Trippier hares down the right and loops long for Woltemade in the middle, but Trafford is able to sort out the situation again. A decent response to such a painful early blow.

9 min: A huge chance for Newcastle to immediately get back into the tie. Gordon spins into space down the right. It’s two on one in the middle! Gordon rolls a pass infield for Willock, who tries to round Trafford but fails, and the keeper claims. A fine save, but had Willock flicked the ball further left, Hall was on hand to roll home.

6 min: Newcastle can’t get any meaningful time on the ball at all. When they do momentarily snaffle it, Thiaw Gordon instantly hands it back.

5 min: Newcastle can’t get any meaningful time on the ball at all. When they do momentarily snaffle it, Thiaw instantly hands it back. An early pattern set.

3 min: City get hold of the ball and keep it awhile. No mean feat seeing how crowded the middle of the park is.

1 min: Trippier’s first act of the evening is a fine block of O’Reilly’s shot, the City man having drifted in from the left.

Newcastle get the game started. They’re chasing down a two-goal deficit.

The teams are out! Manchester City in their famous sky blue, Newcastle United in their equally storied black and white stripes. City kept their visitors waiting in the tunnel for four minutes before eventually deigning to emerge from their dressing room. Toon captain Kieran Trippier’s face was a picture, slipping back and forth between mild amusement and Roy Keanesque fury. A few of Trippier’s buttons were pressed in combination there, so let’s see whether that little prank was a good idea or not. We’ll be off in a minute.

Post-match optimism, in that singular Newcastle United style. “Really hoping our Milk Cup title defence doesn’t go too sour here, as I need to front up to this morning’s work breakfast/social in a mood that passes for professional,” begins Chris Paraskevas promisingly.

“Unfortunately I had to reveal the reason I’d potentially be late to said breakfast in front of our entire team yesterday, the explanation going something like this: ‘Boss: I could be about 15-45 minutes late. Chances are I’ll head around at half-time because Lewis Hall will have suffered a season-ending injury and we’ll be down four-nil. But if we go to extra time I’ll shoot you a text and let you know. In any case, there’s no way we’re winning this one so I’ll see you guys there. This is a pretty important game: it’s the League Cup semi-final - we’re defending champions!’

“At this point, a little colour drained from my supervisor’s face and you could literally hear tumbleweeds. Don’t think she was too impressed. I so really need Eddie Howe to do me a solid and get Aaron Ramsdale to throw the game early, otherwise I might get sacked.”

(You may be interested to know that Chris’s email carried the heading “My boss thinks I’m an idiot.” Well, we’ve all been there once or twice in our lives, haven’t we.)

Pep Guardiola – who is four from four in previous League Cup semi-finals, seeing off Bristol City, Burton Albion and Manchester United (twice) at this stage – talks to Sky. “The first season [of his City reign] we were out pretty quick, but after we make four in a row … [eyes twinkle] like the Premier League! [laughs] … we are back today in the semi-final … we start the game 2-0 … but Newcastle look to yesterday, and Chelsea-Arsenal are always tight games, so it won’t be an exception today … the best way to defend a result like this is to score more goals … go for it.”

Eddie Howe stays positive on Sky. “A big task for us today … the start of the game will be massive … we’ve got to bring good energy … body language … positive intentions … try to impose ourselves … if we’re at our very best we can give them problems … we need to see really good energy … [our away form] has been mixed … we have been really good in some games and not so good in others … we’re searching for the formula we need to produce consistent results.”

Hope For Newcastle dept. Not only are Manchester City two goals to the good, they’re also coming into this match in a better frame of mind than their opponents. Shipping a two-goal lead at Tottenham may not be ideal, but it’s a whole lot better than dominating Liverpool for half an hour before crumbling to a 4-1 defeat. So the hosts are strong favourites to progress to the final against Arsenal. However, here’s what happened the last time City and Toon met at the Etihad in the League Cup …

… so should Newcastle pull off another result like that tonight, we’ll be headed to 30 minutes of extra time and penalties! It’s something of a long shot, mind you: that match also stands as Newcastle’s last win at the Etihad, since when they’ve made 11 visits and lost every single time, to the cumulative tune of 37-3. For the record, their last goal here was scored by DeAndre Yedlin in September 2018. So yes, that concludes our Hope For Newcastle section. Erm.

Manchester City make four changes to the side they named for the first leg at St James’ Park three weeks ago. Omar Marmoush, Rayan Aït-Nouri, Nico González and Tijjani Reijnders take the places of Erling Haaland and Max Alleyne, who drop to the bench, and Bernardo Silva and Jérémy Doku, who miss out altogether.

Newcastle make six changes from the first leg. Aaron Ramsdale, Kieran Trippier, Dan Burn, Sandro Tonali, Joe Willock and Nick Woltemade start; Nick Pope, Jacob Murphy and Yoane Wissa are on the bench as a result, while Joelinton, Lewis Miley and captain Bruno Guimarães are absent.