The team
History lesson
Only England look back to 1966 with anything like the same dewy-eyed fondness as North Korea. In their only previous appearance they beat Italy at Ayresome Park on their way to the quarter-finals. The spot from which Pak Doo-ik struck the winner is marked by a cast-iron sculpture which, as the old stadium is now a housing development, is in somebody's front garden.
Tactics board
Relied on defensive solidity to come through qualifying and there's no chance that will change. Kim Jong-hun will be parking the bus - a sweeper, four across the back and two defensive central midfielders. They will look to counter-attack with Hong Yong-jo and Jong Tae-se, two of the few players based outside North Korea, vital in attack.
Grudge match
Unfortunately a Leaders of the Free World v Axis of Evil clash against the USA could only take place in the final. A meeting with South Korea could prove a feisty affair. In response to the torpedoing of a South Korean battleship, Seoul has decided not to broadcast the World Cup in the North. An eye for an eye, and all that.
Also known as
The Chollima, which isn't what Mola Ram chants when attempting to pull out Indiana Jones's heart in the Temple of Doom, but rather a mythical winged horse too swift to be mounted.
The players
Vuvuzela superstar
Hong Yong-jo is one of only five players selected in Kim Jong-hun's 30-man preliminary squad to play outside of the country. Currently with FC Rostov in Russia, where he is apparently accompanied by a member of North Korea's National Security Agency.
There's always Bolton
Jong Tae-se is known as the Human Bulldozer and has been likened to Ronaldo (the portly Brazilian one). Those who recall Mario Jardel's stint at the Reebok may picture the role Jong could fill.
Laager lout
Kim Yong-jun played briefly for Chengdu Blades, the Chinese club owned by Sheffield United, where the influence of Paddy "Eyebrows" Kenny and Chris "Elbows" Morgan might have rubbed off.
The coach
Body double
Kim Jong-hun has an early Beatles hairdo, though given Group G his team's tournament might be more Hello, Goodbye than the Long and Winding Road.
Big game hunter
Despite guiding the Chollima to the finals, his stock fell this year after failing to qualify for the East Asian Championship. Very loyal to his squad - Kim used just 21 players in the final qualifying group.
Loved or loathed
Hard to say, as even if fans did dislike him, it would be rather difficult for them to express it. It's fair to say dissent of any kind is not tolerated in Pyongyang.
The country
Commentators' kit
North Korea has only 724km of paved roads, almost enough for a return journey from Stamford Bridge to Bloomfield Road, though with only around 20,000 cars in the country (fewer than one for every 1,000 people) it's not as if rush hour in Pyongyang is a blight for commuters. The preferred method of transport is the bicycle. Or the 21-carriage armoured train.
They gave the world
The sort of mass choreographed public ceremonies to give Britain's Olympic synchronised swimmers sleepless nights. Whether their offside trap works with such unity and precision remains to be seen.
National monument
The Pyongyang government takes pride in the infallibility of Kim Jong-il. Not an opinion shared by the rest of the world.
Qualifying
Met their southern neigbours four times during qualifying, drawing three and losing once (claiming a Spurs-esque case of food poisoning), and came through a tough group that contained Saudi Arabia.
The Triesman tapes ... what he didn't say
"Under the cosh of a corrupt tyrant who resembles a pencil gonk and intimidates everyone like a 12-pint veteran at closing time."
Statistics
World Cup record: 1 finals
P4 W1 D1 L2 F5 A9
Highest finish: Quarter-finals in 1966
3: Goals North Korea led Portugal by in the 1966 World Cup quarter-finals only to lose 5-3 as Eusébio banged in four
Fixtures
Brazil, 15 June, Ellis Park, 7.30pm
Portugal, 21 June, Green Point Stadium, 12.30pm
Ivory Coast, 25 June, Mbombela Stadium, 3pm
The verdict
They appear at the World Cup for only the second time, having been a sensation in England in 1966. The majority of the squad are drawn from domestic football and will be a well-drilled side. If there is a trickle of goals the captain, Hong Yong-jo, might take credit, although he has had little impact with Rostov in the Russian League.
Kevin McCarra
