90 mins + 5: This game is still happening, for some reason. Robinho is coming on for an entirely pointless second or two, replacing Neymar who takes an eternity to walk off.

90 mins +4: Messi has one last chance from a free-kick, trying to bend this one around the wall, but doesn’t curl it enough and it goes wide.

90 mins + 3: Brazil go close. Kaka breaks through the middle then feeds Willian on the right. A burst of paces takes him clear to the byline, his low cross is pushed away by Romero but only as far as Neymar, who feints then sidefoots a shot, but Romero again saves.

90 mins + 2: Messi tries to conjure one last attack for Argentina, but he’s crowded out again.

90 mins: Change for Brazil, as Luiz, who had a knock of some description, is replaced by Gil.

88 mins: Bit of spice as the game winds down, as Rojo has three cracks at Willian before finally taking him down. Dunga goes postal on the touchline claiming a stamp, but the referee waves him away.

86 mins: From the free-kick, David Luiz tries to reprise that brilliant effort against Colombia at the World Cup, but he doesn’t get enough power on that one and Romero gets his body behind it.

85 mins: Ferdandez perhaps a little lucky not to be sent off, the already-booked defender bundling over Neymar as he chased a ball over the top towards the Argentina goal. Could’ve been a straight red, that.

82 mins: Sub for Brazil, and looky-here - Kaka comes on for Tardelli. Who would’ve thunk the man who belongs to Jesus would be back in a Brazil shirt so soon, if at all?

81 mins: What. A. Pass. Brilliant ball slicing the Argentina defence clean in two from Gustavo, setting Neymar away, but his dinked finish drifts just over the bar.

79 mins: Messi has a good crack from the free-kick, getting plenty of dip on the ball but Jefferson gets down low to his left and paws the thing wide.

78 mins: More curious refereeing, as Gustavo halts Messi’s run with a nicely-timed tackle, but is penalised. More slightly ‘handsy’ protests from the Brazilians, mind.

76 mins: Another sub for Argentina - Pereyra comes off, and Enzo Perez comes on. Meanwhile Romero very nearly concedes a comical goal, punting a clearance straight into Tardelli, but while it loops over the keeper’s head, it also goes over the bar.

75 mins: The lesser-spotted bit of good, responsible defending from David Luiz, who does well to cut out a through-ball from Messi aiming for Higuain.

72 mins: Argentina nearly get in there - Pastore tries a lofted ball into the box, Jefferson lives...dangerously by flapping at the ball but it doesn’t quite fall to Higuain at the far post.

71 mins: Brazil have really come into the game now, with the scoreline now being a fairer reflection of the overall play. Tardelli tries to make enough room to shoot for his hattrick on the edge of the box, but can’t quite manage it and he’s muscled out.

68 mins: More holes popping up in the Argentina defence, as Willian finds himself free and behind the backline, but he dithers for too long, which allows the angle to narrow and he has to try a cut-back rather than shot, by which time some defenders had pulled their collective finger out to get back in position.

67 mins: Messi tries to drag Argentina back into this one, advancing from the left and shooting at goal, but in the end that was a pretty easy save for Jefferson.

64 mins: Tardelli doubles both the advantage and his international goals tally. A corner comes over from the left, David Luiz flicks on at the near post and Tardelli is there, unmarked at the far post to nod in, with Romero just unable to keep it out. That could’ve been a John Fashanu/Eric Young routine.

63 mins: Yards away from a slapstick moment for Demichelis. A run from Willian causes problems on the Brazil right, the ball eventually finds its way to the City man who directs his clearance, while falling over, just wide of his own post.

61 mins: Couple of subs for Argentina - Javier Pastore and Gonzalo Higuain are on, with Agüero and Lamela withdrawn.

60 mins: Oscar whips in the free-kick from the left side of the box, which Romero does very well to beat away despite several players roaming in his eyeline.

59 mins: Ouch. A real old-fashioned reducer from Martin Demichelis, who when faced with the prospect of trying to chase Neymar into the box decides the wisest course of action is to simply foul him before he gets into the area. Didn’t see a yellow card produced, but it must’ve been.

58 mins: Eeesh, another big chance for Brazil. Oscar skims a free-kick over from the left, a delivery that doesn’t seem to get higher than about 7ft for the whole journey, and it finds David Luiz at the far post, but his effort is weak and wide.

56 mins: Neymar’s wonderful pace comes to the fore again, gliding at speed past Rojo on the Brazil right and into the area, but he can’t quite get the ball from under his feet to provide a proper cross to Tardelli in the middle. The uneven pitch often means that the ball doesn’t travel as quickly as some of the more rapid players out there.

54 mins: Bit of a lull in the last few minutes. Messi tries something different by spreading a long ball out to Zabaleta on the right, but he can’t get his cross over with any real effect.

51 mins: Great chance for Di Maria, who finds himself clean through on goal, he steadies himself for the shot but the ball bobbles slightly, giving Miranda just enough time to get back and whip the ball away from the United man.

50 mins: Argentina go close to an equaliser, as Di Maria feeds a cross into that ‘area that defenders hate’ behind them and in front of the keeper, but in this case Jefferson gets there just ahead of Messi. Brazil counter but Fernandez is booked for taking down Neymar.

48 mins: Massive chance for Felipe Luis. Neymar times a neat little through-pass beautifully to the Chelsea left-back, who runs in on goal from the left, steadies himself and...blazes the thing over the bar. Should’ve scored there.

47 mins: Mascherano gets things started with a chop on Neymar, out on the Brazilian left. More rough-housing ahoy?

46 mins: We’re off again. Let’s see if this half isn’t quite as weird as the first.

As a couple of people have pointed out, I forgot to mention there was a change to the initially-announced starting line-ups, with Erik Lamela playing instead of Javier Pastore. Apologies.

Charles Antaki isn’t too impressed with all this carry-on: “It’s hard to tell what’s the worst element in this farrago. Good candidates are: the officiating, the Brazilians jostling the ref, their constant hacking at anyone in blue and white, the smog in Beijing… But the winner, of course, is that all this is taking place in China. For playing international matches in a third-party country, a penalty of ten points off the FIFA world rating.”

45 mins: Messi feeds Agüero on the left side of the box just before half-time, but the City man can’t quite get the ball from under his feet and the ball is cleared.

43 mins: Brazil were pretty lucky not to have more players booked in their protest against that decision, with several of them jostling the ref. It wasn’t quite Paolo di Canio standard, but not on nonetheless.

38 mins: A black bin bag flies poignantly across the pitch.

37 mins: Another odd halfway house effort thing from Neymar, putting in the free-kick that was sort of a shot but sort of a cross and ended up being neither.

36 mins: Neymar in again, but his run through the centre is cut off just as he reaches the edge of the penalty area by that man Mascherano once more. Zabaleta then takes Neymar down to give Brazil a free-kick on the left side of the area.

35 mins: Neymar again pulls off the ‘nearly but not quite’ trick, getting the ball on the left side of the area before Mascherano shuffles in to ease him off the ball and clear up the danger.

32 mins: Oh Neymar. The great/only Brazilian hope pulls off a quite magnificent run, breaking through the Argentina defence via a combination of pace and the most elegant body swerves you’re likely to see, before sort of attempting to take the ball around Romero, not quite managing it then trying a left-footed shot which is both nowhere near powerful enough, and off target. Weird, as he had opened his body up to put himself in the perfect position to finish, there.

31 mins: Argentina try to get straight back into it, as Agüero employs those colossal thighs of his to help hold the ball up on the edge of the box before laying off to Lamela, but Luiz Gustavo does well to get there ahead of the Spurs man and clear.

28 mins: A slightly odd goal, as Fernandez and Zabaleta make an awful mess of clearing a regulation Oscar cross from the right, only succeeding in helping the ball on to Diego Tardelli, who hits a not hugely powerful volley at Romero, but it hops up off the uneven turf and evades the Argentina keeper.

27 mins: Neymar’s doing his best here to try and create something, but not much is happening for Brazil at the moment. Sounds familiar.

25 mins: A rare attack by Brazil, although it wasn’t terribly threatening. A corner is half-cleared, then David Luiz is caught first snoozing and subsequently offside as the second ball is delivered into the box.

21 mins: Another chance for Argentina, as Agüero eludes Miranda and tries an effort from the right side of the area, but it flashes wide.

Meanwhile, this chap is quite right...

...but it has been used a few times since then. The stadium hosted three Supercopa Italianas, a few pre-season friendlies and, of course, the 2009 Race of Champions motor racing carnival.

19 mins: Ah, not just Messi they’re going after. Pereyra barrels towards goal but is halted in a very literal sense by David Luiz’s shoulder. Argentina work the free kick to Di Maria, who exchanges passes with Lamela to find a shooting chance, which he takes but fires it just over the bar.

17 mins: Messi himself takes the kick, and the wall - which had advanced a good two yards from the regulation ten, jumps as one to block it behind for a corner. Which Argentina waste.

16 mins: Messi advances towards goal, and not for the first time it seems the opposition’s tactics towards the wee man seem to include booting him up in the air at every opportunity, which Miranda does this time to give away a free-kick, left of centre.

13 mins: The predictions about Dunga’s tactics appear to have been correct. When Brazil don’t have the ball - which at the moment is most of the time - then it’s very much a 4-4-1-1 system, with Willian and Oscar pulling in to form a narrow midfield four to track down the ball. Neymar and Diego Tardelli seem to be taking it in turns to be the ‘centre-forward’.

12 mins: First hint of Neymar, who tries a stepover around 35 yards from goal and feeds Willian to his left, but the Chelsea attacker’s shot from range is quite easily blocked.

10 mins: Ooof. Big hit from David Luiz on Messi, cleaning out both ball and man out on the Argentina right. It was a hefty but fair (ish) challenge, which Messi nevertheless took a little exception to, possibly having a naughty little kick out at the PSG man while they were both on the ground.

9 mins: More attackin’ from Argentina. Zabaleta charges down the right and reaches the byline, while in the box Agüero drifts casually into a few yards of space and his clubmate finds him expertly, but the cross was quite strongly-hit and Agüero can’t control the shot.

7 mins: Penalty shout for Argentina, as Agüero cuts inside from the left and nicks the ball away from Miranda, who appears to chop the Manchester City man down, but no dice from the referee. Slapstick stuff from Miranda.

5 mins: Is five minutes too early to say ‘it’s all Argentina so far’? Well, if not, it’s all Argentina so far, as they win a free kick just to the right of centre around 25 yards out. Messi tries the shot, but it clips off the top of the wall and loops pleasantly into the grasp of new Brazil goalie Jefferson.

3 mins: Angel di Maria, the man who has stolen thousands of Mancunian hearts, advances through the middle and tries a rather giddy shot, but dozens of Sunday league coaches around the world will have noted that he was leaning too far back, and he hoyed the ball over the bar.

1 min: And we’re off. For those of you watching in black and white, Argentina are kicking right to left. The first chance of the game comes after 14 seconds, when a long punt upfield finds Sergio Agüero, who can’t quite get the thing under full control but still manages to get a shot away, which goes just wide of the post. The linesman’s flag had gone up though.

As the smog seems to have dissipated in Beijing, here’s some replacement Smog...

Looks like a full house in the Bird’s Nest. Insert your own redundant ‘joke’ about Wembley here.

Meanwhile, in London, Chelsea went 2-0 down in this game...

A little sneak peak of Dunga’s gameplan...

Can anyone help me out with what Ossie Ardiles is wearing on the TV coverage? What is that? It has the lack of sleeves one would associate with a waistcoat, the knit one would associate with a cardigan, and the button arrangement of a double-breasted blazer. It’s quite a thing.

Here’s another little snippet on this game, from the boy Conrad Leach, in his 10 things to look out for in this round of international fixtures, written with Nick Ames:

It’s Argentina v Brazil. So, where would you expect this to be played? The Maracanã, perhaps? Maybe the Estadio Monumental in Buenos Aires, so that more of the Argentinian public could see their World Cup heroes in the flesh? No and no to both those inviting propositions. Instead, they will go toe-to-toe in the Bird’s Nest stadium in Beijing.

Yet that is not the most surprising thing about this friendly, if a game between Argentina and Brazil can ever be described thus. The big surprise has been that Dunga, reappointed as coach of the Selecão (which was a huge shock in itself), has given the nod to Kaká and Robinho. Both missed the World Cup, as then-manager Luiz Felipe Scolari felt neither deserved a place in his squad. And we know how well that turned out.

Kaká, 32, left Milan in the summer and signed for Orlando City, but with that new team not yet ready for the MLS, he rejoined São Paulo, on loan. He has impressed Dunga, who relied so heavily on the midfielder in the World Cup in 2010, yet who was unable to carry them beyond the quarter-finals. And then there is Robinho. Playing again for his first club, Santos – also on loan, from Milan – the 30-year-old has been on goal-scoring form in the Brazilian league. He scored twice against Botafogo last week but was then sent off for complaining too much to the referee. How long this veteran duo will last is anyone’s guess.

Smashing news from China, as Brian Doheny writes:

“I’m living in Beijing right now, and can confirm that the smog has pretty much cleared as of about an hour ago. A cool wind has blown it to who knows where, and the locals are expecting a bit of a storm tonight...at least the players will be able to run with coughing up a lung!”

Maradona gets some rough treatment, 1990

The magnificent Socrates, 1982

Cafu chases the ball as Ariel Ortega takes a tumble, 1998

Of course, this MBM does sort of rely on us being able to see the bloody game, which is not a 100% cast-iron certainty, such is the smog hanging over Beijing. When the authorities in Beijing issue a pollution alert - in this case an orange one, the second highest – you know something’s up, and is justified after has been issued by officials, after pollution ‘rose 20 times the maximum daily exposure recommended by the World Health Organisation.’

As such, the Brazil squad have been confined to their hotel for most of the week - any extended period of time spent indoors with David Luiz is going to be...trying, one suspects - and could only train for an hour in the Bird’s Nest Stadium on Friday. Various members of the Brazil set-up have expressed their concerns:

The pollution in Beijing is bad for both Brazil and Argentina so both teams have to do their best and deal with it, as we cannot change it ourselves,” Dunga said.

“Our plan is to make plenty of substitutions so that the players will not be affected by it.”

The Brazil squad took part in an hour-long session at the stadium ahead of the meeting with Argentina and the Liverpool midfielder Philippe Coutinho admitted the pollution levels were making it almost impossible to tell what time of day it is.

“The air is a bit strange, sometimes you think it’s the middle of the night. It’s very dusty,” he said.

Those sentiments were backed up by the former Manchester City forward Robinho: “It’s difficult to breathe. My throat is dry, it’s like we’re standing next to a bonfire, like hot smoke.”

The Paris Saint-Germain defender David Luiz also felt sympathy for the residents of Beijing. “Short-term you don’t notice it much, but we hope that this pollution can change, because the Chinese people don’t deserve to live like this,” he said.

Want a preview? From Brazil’s perspective? Yer man Conrad Leach has just the thing, here:

Dunga, Kaká, Robinho: these were three of the people who were supposed to win that sixth World Cup for Brazil when they were in South Africa four years ago. Then, their hopes were snuffed out by Holland in the quarter-finals. On Saturday that trio is together again for the friendly against Argentina – the Superclásico de las Américas – in the Bird’s Nest stadium in Beijing.

Dunga resigned after the defeat to Holland. He had four years in charge that brought one Copa América, in 2007, but otherwise produced a team in his rather dour image. So, after the shock of the 7-1 defeat, and with the Seleção in need of a serious shake-up, few imagined Dunga would apply for the job vacated by Scolari. Even fewer imagined he would get it.

Juca Kfouri, a respected Brazilian football journalist, summed up the mood when he wrote: “Samuel Johnson said that a second marriage was a triumph of hope over experience. And that is exactly what the CBF has done with Dunga’s appointment.”

Dunga, in Portuguese, translates as Dopey, one of the seven dwarfs, and Kfouri adds: “Maybe the CBF fixed upon the number seven in homage to the German world champions.”

Nick will be here shortly.