Righto, Aaron Bower’s report is here…

…which means that’s it from me. Thanks all for your company and comments – sorry I couldn’t use them all – and peace out.

“I take my hat off to Franklyn Hyde,” returns Charles Antaki. “Anything John Renbourn did was ipso facto well beyond my clumsy fingers. I see that I’m going to have to spend another night trawling the Internet ether looking for the elusive McShee & co warble. Oh well – we can always have another listen to this in the meanwhile.”

What does a cyclist know about football?

We have to show some measure when criticising Newcastle because, as we said at the top, they lost Bruno Guimaraes, Sandro Tonali and Anthony Gordon in the summer. Good though Miley is, we can’t expect him to carry them, and the early loss of Gonzalez made a big difference to how the game went – though Leeds were already on top, they didn’t score until the 32nd minute. I’m sure Jaissle will persevere with Fernandez-Pardo against Hull at the weekend, but assuming Elanga is unfit, it’s probably time for him to trust Toure.

90+4 min James has been lively since coming on and he veers across the pitch, past a man or two, before swinging into a rising shot which clears the bar by a foot or so.

90+3 min “I think everyone is getting confused here,” says Franklyn Hyde. Renbourn recorded a lovely version of To Be a Pilgrim solo. I know because I mastered it on guitar and have the arthritis to prove it.”

90+2 min Wilson bends the free-kick into the box from down the left and Muharemovic is up … but heads wide.

90+1 min Livramento bundles Aaronson over and is booked.

90 min We’ll have four additional minutes.

89 min James picks up possession in his own half, sticks the ball in behind Hall, and stomps on the gas. In the middle, Nmecha hurtles forwards, the cross is good, he launches on the stretch … but can’t quite reach it.

88 min Another change for Leeds, Longstaff on for Stach.

86 min “Terrific!” responds Charles Antaki. “Many thanks, Paul Milton. Much appreciated. But – hmm. Now I’m troubled. I still think that there’s a version by Jacqui McShee, much less shouty than the Maddy Prior version, with the likes of Ashey Hutchins, John Renbourn et al noodling away behind her in a mock-medieval setup, and all in glorious monochrome. Maybe for a 60s kids’ programme? Anyway, I see that Leeds are winning comfortably, so plenty of time to do a bit more research as the game peters out. Also I think they were wearing smocks and halberds and what have you, and perhaps even a wimple in McShee’s case.”

This sounds like a folksy version of one of my favourite pieces of joy:

84 min Under Howe, Newcastle were arguably the most physical side in the league. Now, though, they’re a little lightweight, and also lacking a bit of quality. Jaissle will have learnt plenty tonight, and I wonder if we soon see Bamba and Toure from the start.

83 min The excellent Bogle departs after a monstrous shift, Daniel James replacing him.

82 min Botman has an issue with his left leg, so is made to stand at the side to get it looked at, as per the new law.

82 min On which point, Wikipedia says:

Norman Mailer was passionate about thumb wrestling. Author and humorist Paul Davidson claims that his grandfather Bernard Davidson invented the thumb war in the 1940s.American copywriter Julian Koenig claimed to have invented thumb wrestling in 1936 as a boy at Camp Greylock.

80 min Newcastle send on Bamba for Miley, who goes and sits next to his kid brother on the bench. Some kind of thumb war is in order.

79 min Muharemovic advances, so Wissa trips him and does well to avoid a card.

78 min Leeds send on Nmecha for Calvert-Lewin; Bahoya remains at the side, still awaiting his first football in a Leeds shirt.

76 min Willocks ofts a ball in behind and Trafford scurries out then, not for the first time tonight, makes a mess when asked to use his feet, the ball sliding off his right … but he’s saved by a generously flourished offside flag.

75 min Thinking beyond tonight, Newcastle will need Fernandez-Pardo to settle and start scoring, because they don’t have anyone else they can rely on to find the net regularly. He’ll be the wiser for tonight, and will have to apply his learnings immediately.

73 min Changes for Leeds, Gudmudsson, Tanaka and Okafor replaced by Bard, Aaronson and Wilson.

72 min Miley’s long clip to the back stick is headed back by Livramento, who hooks back, then Wissa hooks goalwards, then Willock, from an acute angle, hooks on to the roof of the net.

70 min And they win a free-kick down the left, Hall clipping in … and Elvedi heading out for a throw. Newcastle have offered so little attacking threat.

70 min Newcastle are enjoying a bit of possession now, which at least means they can prevent things becoming immediately worse.

68 min “Charles might be slightly mistaken,” offers Paul Milton. “There is a lively folk rock version of To Be a Pilgrim but by Maddy Prior rather than Jacqui McShee. And it is readily available on YouTube.”

66 min “Never seen my brother walk around with such arrogant swagger before 6am,” says Chris Paraskevas. “Wonder what’s in the bin for brunch? That half-eaten kebab is looking like a potential highlight of the day at this point.”

What kind of monster tosses half a kebab? As ye sow…

64 min Willock into the box, and he pokes square for Barnes, who spins away from Muharemovic … who kicks the back of his heel. Barnes thinks that’s a penalty and so do I, but the officials adjudge to the contrary. I guess they’re saying there wasn’t enough contact, but I’m pretty sure there was sufficient.

63 min Leeds win a corner down the left, but Stach’s poor delivery is kicked away at the near post.

60 min Where will this end? Newcastle are deep in the brown, and with half an hour and probably a bit more to go, this could get worse before the blessed relief of the full-time whistle.

59 min Leeds are going for more goals and have a throw deep inside the Newcastle half, left-hand side and Ampadu preparing to fling in…

57 min Changes for Newcastle, Murphy, Fernandez-Pardo and Dedic departing, with Willock, Livramento and Toure replacing them.

55 min Deep inside his own half, Hall passes straight to Stach. This should be 4-0 and most of the crowd think it is, but the finish actually ruffles the near-post side-netting from the outside.

54 min Murphy attacks the outside of Gudmundsson but the defender draws level, confiscates possession, and eases upfield. Naturally, Murphy trips him as you would; he’s booked.

53 min Fernandez-Pardo tees up Hall who, from 25 yards, leathers a shot … but at saveable height, straight at Trafford, who fists to safety.

51 min Gudmundsson swings over a cross from the left, the indefatigable Bogle haring to vole it back into the box from the by-line. Unluckily for him, the ball was already out of play, but the devotion with which he pursued it encapsulates his role and his team.

48 min “Even though Daniel Farke isn’t a Bielsista,” says Kári Tulinius, “there’s a pleasing continuity of style from Bielsa’s Leeds to Farke’s. Since the Argentine’s days in charge, the typical sight when they play is watching the entire team hare up the field in transition, with the plan seemingly to create chaos. I feel like if someone drew me a diagram of a Leeds attack, without identifying the players, I could still recognise it.”

The change for three at the back might turn out to be a huge inflection point in Leeds’ history. Pretty much immediately, they were able to stick in games and had a proper attacking threat. It’s not a system for sides trying to win titles, but for those looking to punch above their weight, it works well because it gives width, midfield numbers and attacking threat.

46 min So what do Newcastle do here? Try and force their way back into the game, in the process risking a more serious tousing, or try and keep it social? Well, Leeds will have some thoughts in that regard too, Calvert-Lewin bursting through the middle only to be blocked off, just about. What a lesson he’s giving Fernandez-Pardo in what it takes to be a Premier League centre-forward.

46 min We go again…

Half-time email: “Widecome Fair – well, that was a pleasant distraction,” says Charles Antaki. “If anyone wants a bit more – though I see the game was hotting up a bit – they could perhaps tell me where I can find the folk version of To Be a Pilgrim sung by Jackie McShee, with full folk-rock backing band, in an ancient black-and-white studio recording? I once came across it on YouTube, but now I can’t find it for love or money. Now back to the football.”

Oh! More housekeeping: The second Leeds goal isn’t Calvert-Lewin’s because, though he gets inordinate height and hang, his header brushes Bogle’s hair en route to the net.

Housekeeping: the first Leeds goal has been awarded to Lewis Miley, I think on the grounds that the Steur deflection was taking Tanaka’s shot wide, only for his to divert it goalwards.

45 min We’ll have two additional minutes BUT EXCUSE ME WHILE I INTERRUPT MYSELF!

44 min Calvert-Lewin waits under a high ball, sees Botman coming, and extends an elbow without swinging; he’s booked, which is just about the right call.

42 min But here come Newcastle, Tanaka giving the ball away in midfield and Miley finding Wissa, this time at inside-left, and again, he carries well. Then, when he tries to dip between two defenders, he falls and beseeches for a penalty, while Barnes picks up the loose ball and swishes a shot across goal, that might be beating the diving Trafford … until Muharemovic flings his torso in the road, celebrating the block like he’s scored.

41 min The way we play and talk about football has changed a lot in recent years, but to continue along the 80s tip, Graeme Souness likes to say that the side which gets to the ball first wins, and that’s exactly what’s happening here. Leeds’ proactivity is the difference between the sides.

39 min Here come Leeds again, Okafor again pulling left and slipping a diagonal ball infield for Stach, who clips back for the onrushing Calvert-Lewin. But when he should apply the Peter Beardsley finish, dinked over the necessarily diving keeper, instead he goes low and hard, facilitating the save. That was almost game over; Newcastle are rocking.

37 min When I was growing up in the 80s, that was the kind of goal my memory tells me we saw much more than we do now. Almost every team played 4-4-2, so had wingers crossing for centre-forwards, and Calvert-Lewin is an old skool kind of striker. It’s so aesthetically pleasing – that or it hits a nostalgic sweet spot.

30 min The tempo is entertaining, but it’s about time we enjoyed some quality.

29 min Wissa counters, breaking into the Newcastle half and carrying well, but then he tries to feed Barnes in behind and barely finds the same longitude.

27 min A ball into the Newcastle box, still crowded following the corner, a flick-on, and Elvedi is there, unmarked on the right side of the box. In his mind, he lashes a glorious volley into the roof before hurling himself into the crowd to milk the adulation; in reality, he barely connects, dribbling a miserable effort wide of the near post, and everyone laughs.

25 min A long ball from Gudmundsson incites bogle to attack the middle of the box from the right, and he wins a corner. Then, when the corner comes in, Hornicek opts to punch when he might catch, picking out Bogle on the edge, who laces a shot that he’s forced to tip over. The second corner comes to nowt.

23 min I should note, Newcastle made a concussion substitution, so their allotted quota of five remains unaffected.

22 min Leeds have slowed down a bit and Newcastle are starting to jump to them.

21 min The name Sean Steur fits this song perfectly.

19 min Ach, it looks like Gonzalez will have to go off with concussion. That’s a right nause for him – godspeed, old mate – and he’s replaced by Sean Steur, the 18-year-old bought from Ajax.

18 min So far, we’ve seen almost nothing of Miley; he needs to find the ball, perhaps the skill that separates the best midfielders from the rest, and at any level.

17 min A ball launched down the right bounces kindly for Wissa, who lifts it into the middle; Justin does well to head clear, under pressure from Fernandez-Pardo.

16 min “Thanks to Google Gemini (other AI is available) i now understand your use of ‘coupon’ - ouch!” says Richard Mullock. “So when you have no drinking water tomorrow because the local data centre drank it, you can thank me then...”

My thanks are due to Irvine Welsh; there aren’t many cultures with vernacular that beats the Scots.

14 min Tanaka stands one up to the far post and and Justin does really to nod back from the by-line, Bogle, at what is now the near post spinning on it to force a low shot goalwards … but Hornicek does really well to dive low, a strong arm allowing him to tip the ball away.

12 min Okafor clearly thinks he can fid joy down the left and he zooms thataway before cutting back, Stach then setting for Ampadu. he flings his entire corporeality into a shot that’s on target, but it hits Calvert-Lewin, in an offside position. Either way, I think the diving Hornicek has it covered.

11 min We see the penalty claim again and, in co-comms, Don Goodman notes Fernandez-Pardo’s arms is raised, not above his head or owt, but at chest height. That, he reckons, makes the call marginal, but I disagree: he’s running, so of course he’s using his arms, and the ball kicks off the turf.

10 min It’s been frantic so far, the match without much shape to it. But there’s a terrific energy about Leeds, their confidence palpable; Newcastle are looking to absorb them, the plan presumably to grow into the game as their opponents flag.

9 min Newcastle looks to take some heat out of proceedings, knocking the ball about, but Leeds shut them down well, forcing them back to Hornicek, who humps downfield.

6 min We go again, Gonzalez looking OK for a bloke who’s just had his bell rung.

5 min Wissa puts a tarrying Trafford under pressure and blocks his clearance, but the ball rears up and to safety, then Leeds immediately counter down the left. Gudmundsson drives forward and into the box then, when he squares it, it shoots straight into Gonzalez’s coupon. The ref blows and the crowd think it’s for a pen, but it’s so the dazed man can recover with some treatment.

4 min “Don’t give us any bright ideas,” returns Chris Paraskevas. “We forgot to put the rubbish bin out for collection last night, so that thing theoretically contains the beginnings of a five-course meal (if rummaged right).”

OK, go on then: what’s the lowest you’ve stooped to enjoy a meal.

2 min The corner is cleared and, as Fernandez-Parod looks to bring the ball away, it kicks up off the turn and, on the edge of the box, bumps his hand. There are shouts for a penalty, but it looks accidental to me and the various refs agree.

1 min A ball over the top and into the inside-right channel finds Stach, who may and probably should shoot, but instead he opts to cross and the ball is knocked behind for a corner.

1 min Away we go…

“We are so proud we shout it out loud” is surely one of the worst lyrics ever written, only fractionally better than “they’re the best, better than the rest,” immortalised in Southbound’s B-side of We All Follow Man United.

Our teams are out and Elland Road is noisy.

With Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United still trying to work things out, while navigating obvious flaws they can’t address until January at the earliest, there might be an opportunity for clubs with more settled and/or balanced sides to assert themselves. Newcastle and Leeds might not’ve aimed for Europe at the outset, but seeing how things are going, that might be an achievable target.

“Huge morning in the Paraskevas household,” writes Chris Paraskevas, “with what is becoming an annual local derby with my beloved Newcastle taking on my little brother’s (sometimes/very rarely beloved?) Leeds United.

Given it isn’t even 5am yet and we both have a full day of work ahead of us (that’s right mum and dad: you can be proud/not totally ashamed of us now) it’s no exaggeration to say the outlook of my entire week/ year is dependent on Jaissle securing bragging rights for me.

Nice to see Pardo start up front and Dedic declared fit – you get the early sense they’ll be key to having a non-disastrous season.

There’s a spare jam donut on the table so I better get to it before my brother has any bright ideas and scores an early/head start in the race to diabetes.”

Before our now-wives called us in, I lived with one of my best childhood mates. We had these stale donuts that we chucked out, but then I went out on the Saturday night and was hungry when I got home. Naturally, I went fishing in the bin, only to discover my mate, who’d been out elsewhere, had had the same thought and got there first.

Jaissle tells Sky that Elanga has an injury that could be long-term but they hope not. He needs an MRI next week, then they’ll see.

On the newly re-signed Hall, he says that he’s exactly the kind of player he wants to play the kind of football he’s after, and on Miley Jr, says it’s time.

It wasn’t easy to start at Newcastle, which is one reason they’re so happy with the start, but they want to improve and work on the margins.

Email! “The way to get at Leeds is obvious,” says AnhTuan Nguyen Huynh. “Attack their full-backs relentlessly, because that’s where their defensive weakness lies. Leeds should cross, cross, and cross”

I’m sure Newcastle will look to get down the sides of Leeds, but they’ll want to get control of the middle of the park first. Gonzalez and Miley are good enough to do it, but they’ll be up against a box of four quite a lot of the time.

As for Newcastle, they’ll look to get at Leeds down the sides of the outside centre-backs and in behind the wing-backs; standard against a back three. I reckon they may invert Hall to help with the midfield numbers-game, and will definitely push Wissa up alongside Fernandez-Pardo, asking a different question of Farke’s defence, used to sharing one man between three, with Miley also looking to crash the box.

So where is the game? Leeds are set up to get at opponents down the sides, their wing-backs not having to worry too much about defending, three centre-backs and two midfielders allowing them to stay high and wide. Then, infield, Noah Okafor has the pace to challenge the last line and in behind, with no designated marker able to track him because he starts from deeper. Meantime, Anton Stach will come deeper, so Newcastle are outnumbered in midfield, and create, looking to slip Okafor and Dominic Calvert-Lewin in, with the wing-backs looking to cross, principally to the front post, or cut-back from the by-line. Oh, and I also wonder if they might target Gonzalez,hoping to funnel possession towards him, then pressing when he’s looking to build the play; Hall and Miley are too technically secure.

Jaissle did, of course, have a choice; he might’ve picked Touré. But it makes sense that in so competitive a contest and such an intimidating environment, he’s decided that one new face is enough.

Elanga, though, is a big miss. When he was playing age-group football, I really liked him – he combined the agility of a winger with the instinct of a striker. But when he broke into the Manchester United first team, his touch didn’t look good enough for the level, and even at Forest, he was more of a runner than a footballer. His worth-ethic, though, is unreal, and it might just be that he’s improved his technique to the point he’s growing into an all-round threat.

Fernandez-Pardo was, I’m sure, signed to be a starter. He’s had time to settle into a new home and have a look at things; now it’s time to get to work. The sense is he’ll be on the top line, with Wissa behind him.

Alreet, I’ll write those down, then we’ll consider what we might see.

Newcastle, meanwhile, change two of the front four who started their last league game, Jacob Murphy and Mathias Fernandez-Pardo – making his first start for the club – replacing Anthony Elanga, who’s injured, and Joe Willock. Also worthy of note: Mason Miley, brother of Lewis, is on the bench.

Leeds are unchanged from last weekend’s 1-1 draw with Brighton. In between times they lost 6-3 at Chelsea in the Rumbelows, having led 2-0, but only three of tonight’s XI started that one.

Let’s take a loser look at the teams…

Daniel Farke tells Sky it’s been a good start in terms of performance and points, but this is a difficult test against a strong team who are especially dangerous in transition. They’re hoping to ride momentum and it’s good their fans are excited having suffered plenty.

Eddie Howe has left a legacy, he muses, and Jaissle has tried to work with it, deploying pacy players up front, so his team need to be careful to look after the ball.