Jamie Jackson was at Old Trafford tonight, and his report is in. Here it is! Love and kisses to Rodrigo Bentancur, by the sounds of it, then … and indeed to you, dear reader, for sticking with this MBM.

Coming up in the next 11 days for Manchester United: Atletico Madrid (a), Leeds (a), Como (a). During the same period, Tottenham Hotspur welcome Coventry City to the Lane for Monday Night Football.

Going The Extra Yard dept. Sky have just flashed up this stat: United collectively covered 113.5 kilometres tonight, while Spurs managed 118.1 kilometres.

Spurs starting captain – and injury-time goalscoring hero – Dominic Solanke speaks to Sky Sports. “We dominated … was on top throughout the first half … we wasn’t clinical enough … the story of the season so far … to get a point in the end, we’ll take it … the character shown from the team today was magnificent … a few times last season when we went a goal down, we didn’t react in the right way … but today we showed so much fire and grit … the mentality we want to show in every game … I probably should have had a hat-trick today … I really wanted to get a goal … I showed great fight [for the equaliser] … a deft touch into the far corner … so happy … I wanted to make up for the missed chances I had and I’m grateful I did that … [starting the game as captain] is something I’ll remember for the rest of my career … [the result] is something to build on … we’re so close … we just need a little spark and everything will click … hopefully this is the start of something good.”

Post-match postbag (red-card brouhaha edition). “If there was a case for an infra-red card, then Bentancur would have one - completely out of control on Fernandes, followed by the violent conduct on Shaw. However, Shaw should probably have gone too - deservedly booked for the push, but that fall when Betancur lightly touched his forehead was worthy of Olivier” – Andy (not that one) Flintoff

“I get the red card for Spurs. But Shaw kicked it off by shoving him of the pitch” – Mary Waltz

“Shaw deserved two yellows: 1. Push. 2. Simulation. It’s not not simulation because the opponent leaned forward first. Shaw responded in kind by leaning forward himself to draw contact — without which there’s no foul” – Mike Chiropolos

“It’s come to something when Lisandro Martinez is the calming influence” – Adam Roberts

Post-match postbag (red-card brouhaha aside). “There was an awful lot of talk about Baleba needing to take control of United’s failing midfield. I know it’s early days yet but he certainly did that since he came on. He lifted everyone around him, and the crowd too. Quite the debut!” – Justin Kavanagh

“Perhaps United fans will explain but I’m quite baffled by the fuss around Mainoo. Clearly, Tielemans was struggling today but that moment when him and Mainoo appeared to be struggling to run back seemed amazing for such a young player. Or could he just not be bothered?” – Stephen McCrossan

“Have any of the people on the pitch ever actually played, or even seen, a game of football before? I ask because the overwhelming evidence, after some 68 minutes of gametime, is that they haven’t” – Jim Morrish

“I’m not watching the game, but the phrase ‘two bald men fighting over a comb’ springs to mind” – Simon McMahon

“Disappointing result for the neutrals. United in a relegation battle still retains comedy value, but with Spurs it just feels routine these days” – Tim Woods

“Both teams deserved to lose. What Man City did to football in reality, Utd and Spurs have done aesthetically” – David Scahill

A point is the least Tottenham deserved. They were much the better side for the most part, carving out a series of big chances that they butchered in an impressively wide range of styles. So from their point of view, they’ll wonder how on earth they didn’t come away with all three points. But two things can be true at once, and Manchester United will be asking themselves exactly the same question. Having clung on, then made the breakthrough, their reward for an improved second-half showing, how did they fail to get over the line against ten men? The final xG of 0.77 to 1.56 suggests Spurs will be the more frustrated, but in truth it’s one of those games where neither team will be pleased, but both will be relieved, for differing reasons, not to have lost. Manchester United remain in 12th spot, while Tottenham Hotspur peel themselves off the bottom.

90 min +9: Baleba lashes another long-range shot over the bar. That should be about that.

90 min +8: Gray rugby-tackles Heaven, and the referee’s card pops up, toaster-style, once again.

90 min +7: Fernandes takes the Tottenham free kick, but it’s no good.

90 min +6: Tonali prepares to bust into space down the inside-left channel, only to be clipped late by Dalot, who goes into the book. A free kick. All of Tottenham’s big men go up for the set piece.

90 min +5: A double change for United, who send on Heaven and Rashford for Cunha and Shaw.

90 min +4: United had looked suddenly shaky since the announcement of eight additional minutes, and paid the price. Maguire tries to reply with a fierce drive that warms Kinsky’s palms. Neither team looks in the mood to declare.

90 min: Dalot is sent into space on the overlap down the right. He cuts back for Cunha, who shoots towards the bottom right. Van Hecke slides in to block, and Kinsky claims. Cunha claims a handball, but that’s never going to be given. There will be eight additional minutes,

89 min: Senesi comes on for Fernandes. One of United’s failed summer transfer targets is booed in the pantomime style upon his arrival.

87 min: Maddison prepares to advance down the left when Martinez slides in late. Another yellow card. Suffice to say this game continues to putter away on the stove, ready to spill over at any moment.

85 min: Baleba sends a clever long pass down the United right. Mbeumo beats Senesi in a foot race, and shoots from the edge of the box. Kinsky parries around the right-hand post.

83 min: Fernandes lands on Van Hecke’s achilles. It’s not a great challenge, and he’s booked. The Spurs players want more, but they’re not getting their wish.

82 min: Shaw’s reaction amid all of that wasn’t great … but then he’s been on the end of a dreadful tackle before, and at great and lengthy cost, so you can perhaps understand how his buttons were pressed.

80 min: In the dugout, De Zerbi sits quietly seething. How have his team got themselves into this mess?

77 min: It all kicks off! Big style! Shaw intercepts Van Hecke’s loose ball out from the back and hares off down the left. Van Hecke, haring out to make good his mistake, lunges into a challenge that nearly takes out both Shaw and Fernandes. The latter goes over; the former keeps going … only to be nearly scissor-tackled by Bentancur, who misses his man by inches. Shaw, who had hurdled the wild challenge, comes haring back at Bentancur and shoves him hard in the chest, sending him flying off the pitch. Bentancur springs up and, with Shaw going nose to nose, reacts with a butt. Shaw reels back, holding his face, after a fashion. Cue an old-school bench-emptying melee on the touchline!

76 min: Spurs are up against it now all right, because they haven’t won in the Premier League after conceding first for 48 games. Everton and Leeds are next with nine!

74 min: Spurs respond by sending on Maddison and Van de Ven. Udogie and Gallagher make way.

72 min: Maguire takes a whack from 25 yards. Blocked. A bit early to get this desperate, surely, though it worked against Ipswich I guess.

71 min: Gallagher busies himself down the right, released into a little space by Savio’s cute pass. But the eventual cross is no good.

69 min: United do their best to tee up Spurs a couple of times, Fernandes, Shaw and Maguire failing to clear the ball under pressure in a slapstick sequence. Eventually Savio shoots from the right-hand edge of the box; Mainoo extends to deflect over the bar. Nothing comes of the resulting corner. How is this game still goalless? Answer: Ineptitude of attackers > ineptitude of defenders.

67 min: Spurs respond to the United triple change with a double of their own. Bergvall and Kudus make way for Bentancur and Marmoush.

65 min: Spurs waste another chance. Senesi slides a pass down the left. Tonali flicks it on, and Udogie is clear in the box! Udogie tries a fancy outside-of-foot shot across Lammens, aiming for the bottom right … and sends the ball bouncing apologetically wide. The offside flag goes up to give him a little succour.

63 min: Dalot crosses from the right. Fernandes stoops to head, but can’t connect. Goal kick. Then seconds later, Fernandes slices a shot from the right-hand corner of the Spurs box well wide. But Old Trafford is suddenly energised.

62 min: Fernandes gracefully wedges the free kick over the wall, the ball dropping to Zirkzee who wins a corner, from which Baleba skies his first shot in a Manchester United shirt. Goal kick.

61 min: The triple-sub energises the crowd, and United surge forward. Cunha advances down the inside-left channel and feels Kudus’s hand on his shoulder. He needs no second invitation to go down and buy a cheap free kick, just to the left of the D. Bruno Country.

59 min: United deal with the second corner easily enough, and here come the replacements. Zirkzee, Dalot and the debutant Baleba replacing Yoro, Tielemans and Diallo.

58 min: The corner’s hit long from the left. Van Hecke wins a header past the far stick, sending the ball back across the face of goal. Maguire is forced to eyebrow over his own bar for another corner.

57 min: Savio runs at the United defence but can’t make a decision. United take over, and Fernandes nearly releases Mbeumo down the right. Goal kick. Spurs then counter the counter, and Savio’s low drive from the left is deflected wide left. Michael Carrick prepares a triple sub, but before that, here comes the corner.

55 min: Gray shepherds the ball out of play down the left, under pressure from Cunha. But then Cunha slide-hooks the ball back into the path of Tielemans, who calmly passes into the bottom-right corner of the net! But then the flag goes up, the ball having been clearly out of play before Cunha’s intervention.

54 min: Fernandes nutmegs Senesi down the inside-left channel but before he can shoot, Udogie comes across to blooter clear. Cunha then wins a corner down the same flank, but nothing comes of that.

53 min: Tielemans is stripped of possession by Gallagher, who fails to release Bergvall down the middle with a careless pass. United are getting away with it again and again.

51 min: Another huge missed chance by Spurs. This is getting old. Savio in more space on the left. This time the cross is delivered first time. Solanke, six yards out, shins over the bar. On the touchline, De Zerbi laughs ironically, but if his team don’t end up with all three points tonight, he’ll have quite a few words to say to his players later on.

50 min: Tonali slips Savio into acres of space down the left. He should find Solanke or Kudus clear in the middle with an early cross, but hesitates. When the ball eventually comes, Shaw gets back to block-hook clear. That’s another huge opportunity Spurs have spurned.

48 min: … so having said that, Shaw powers his way past Gray down the left and crosses low, forcing Van Hecke to divert the ball out for United’s first corner of the evening. The set piece isn’t up to much, and Diallo’s attempt to salvage it with a long-range shot sails miles over the bar.

47 min: United start the second period in control of the ball, but there’s no way into the Spurs final third. The visitors have looked pretty well organised on the whole.

Manchester United get the second half started. No changes. The hosts attacking the Stretford End now.

Late Night Line-Up Early-Evening Line-Up with Joan Bakewell Gary Naylor. “Did you see Jeff Koons’ masterpiece Puppy in full bloom? I can understand it being underwhelming if a bit before or a bit after its peak, but not right on it. A man to provoke varied reactions is Jeff, somewhat like Messrs Carrick and De Zerbi at the mo.”

To be fair to Mr Koons, there’s no point asking me about art. Once inside the gallery, and faced with Yves Klein’s La grande Anthropométrie bleue (ANT 105) (ca. 1960, dry pigment and synthetic resin on paper mounted on canvas, 287.8 x 430 x 4 cm), my instinct was less to consider the concept of representing the nude body without resorting to traditional forms, more recording myself in front of it while singing I’m blue da ba dee. Anyway, I’ve gone well off piste here: suffice to say, dear reader, listen to Mr Naylor and not Simple Scotty.

Half-time postbag. “I’ve assumed all season that once Spurs are playing like a De Zerbi team, they’ll be fine because most teams in the league won’t be able to live with them. Well, Manchester United couldn’t live with them for the first half hour, but Tottenham’s players couldn’t finish their chances. Not to be reductive, but if a football team doesn’t score goals, it won’t win many games” – Kári Tulinius

“Youri Tielemans is 29, but he has 678 matches in his legs - it shows” – Gary Naylor

“It’s all very well for Matheus Cunha to be geeing the crowd up. If the team played better, the crowd would respond” – Adam Roberts

“That 51-years ticker has made my day. Well in, Reds. And this, more than any of the (richly deserved) sanctions to come, is what needs to be done. In the Trump and Johnson era, some shame needs to be reattached to cheating and lying. Long may the pile on continue” – Allan Castle

“The perennial battle for 16th place is doing nothing for the neutral fan today” – Cat in a Rage

“Fouls, poor passing, niggle. Typical relegation six-pointer” – Andrew Goudie

“I’m high on life after coming off on holiday yesterday then watching United, the Dundee variety, move into the top six of the Scottish Premier with a 1-0 win over Hibs at Tannadice today. It’s also United legend Paul Sturrock’s 70th birthday, one of the top 10 players ever to wear the Tangerine, so might celebrate by crying uncontrollably at the realisation that it’s not the 1980s anymore watching videos of him on Youtube all night and opening a bottle of malt. Cheers!” – Simon McMahon

45 min: Tielemans ships possession on the edge of his own box. Gray crosses from the right. Lammens claims. There will be one additional first-half minute.

44 min: Martinez, quarterbacking from deep, nearly finds Fernandes in the box on the right with a long diagonal. Kinsky reads the danger, racing to the edge of his area to intercept. That’s decent play all round.

42 min: … so having said all that, here’s another chance for Spurs as Gallagher barrels his way down the inside-right channel, enters the box, and shapes to shoot. But he can’t throw his shape quickly enough, and doesn’t get a shot away, a combination of Tielemans, Martinez, Maguire and Lammens somehow bundling the ball clear.

41 min: Spurs have blown themselves out after their strong start, and now it’s Manchester United on top. The visitors must be cursing those near misses by Solanke and Kudus.

39 min: Now it’s Gray’s turn to execute a perfect slide tackle, putting a stop to Fernandes’s gallop with a three-on-two break developing.

38 min: Kudus slips Udogie into space down the left … but Yoro puts a stop to the overlap with another of those perfectly timed slide-blocks. Yoro has been United’s best player by far.

36 min: With United pushing Spurs back, Cunha clips Gallagher to concede a needless free kick. He stares theatrically at the linesman, then Gallagher wags his finger at the official. Both risking a booking; the latter would be walking, and needs to check himself.

34 min: … Gallagher’s shot from distance is charged down, and Mbeumo and Diallo break two on two! The former feeds the latter down the inside-left channel, and Diallo gets United’s first shot on target. Easy for Kinsky, though.

33 min: … but Savio’s delivery is no good. However the ball’s only half cleared, and Senesi’s long diagonal finds Savio out on the left. Savio skates past Tielemans and crosses long, forcing Shaw to head behind for a corner. From which …

32 min: Tielemans obstructs Gallagher as the Spurs man cuts in from the left. A free kick and a chance to load the box …

30 min: United finally put some pressure on the Spurs defence, Shaw making a nuisance of himself down the left, the visitors unable to clear as a game of head tennis breaks out. Eventually the flag goes up for offside, but that’s better from the hosts. “Is it somewhere in recently enacted legislation that United have to start matches poorly, looking utterly confused at all times by opponent’s desire to score?” wonders David Scahill.

28 min: Gray saunters out of the Spurs defence in the manner of peak-era Beckenbauer. However peak-era Beckenbauer usually had challenges to evade. United make none, until Mbeumo eventually fouls him, putting an end to a 35-yard sashay. More groans.

26 min: Lammens hoicks another pass out of play, and has some choice words for his defenders. He didn’t want that latest passback. Eff! Jeff! Discord!

25 min: … Fernandes plays the free kick short, to more rumbles of concern, before eventually sending in a cross that’s easily cleared. The home fans on the edge of full revolt. United have been dreadful.

24 min: Bergvall tugs at Cuhna’s shirt and is fortunate not to go into the book. Just a free kick out on the left. United load the Spurs box and …

23 min: On the touchline, Roberto De Zerbi holds his head in his hands. He can’t believe that silky move didn’t end in a goal. He surely won’t believe his team aren’t in front. Michael Carrick meanwhile looks calm, if concerned. The mood in the home crowd is beginning to curdle … and there are some loud boos as Lammens shanks a clearance out of play for a throw.

21 min: Udogie and Savio combine crisply down the left. The ball’s cut back for Kudus, who spins and whistles a low drive inches wide of the bottom left. No idea how Spurs aren’t leading this match; they’ve been absurdly dominant.

20 min: Mbeumo crosses from the left. Diallo slides in but can’t force the ball past a combination of Udogie and Kinsky. That’s better from United, though their bar is set so low right now.

19 min: Maguire tries to usher the ball out for a goal kick. Solanke manages to hook a leg around him and instigate a game of bagatelle in the six-yard box. Maguire and United get away with it as the ball pings clear of the danger zone.

17 min: Bergvall is given a preposterous amount of time in a pocket of space in front of the United D. Fernandes not tracking back, the defence not closing down. Bergvall aims for the top-right corner but gets it all wrong. Goal kick, but United are really pushing their luck here. They need to get a grip of midfield and quick. Spurs have been excellent and are well on top.

15 min: Gallagher steals the ball off the snoozing Maguire’s toe near the centre circle. He feeds Savio down the left. Yoro ushers player and ball out for a goal kick. Yoro’s started really impressively; that’s just as well for United, because without those last two interventions, Spurs could easily have snaffled a couple of goals.

14 min: Bergvall nearly latches onto a loose ball just inside the United box on the left. He’s blocked by a sensational sliding tackle from Yoro. Full marks, but that had to be timed perfectly, and United’s defence is operating right on the edge at the moment.

12 min: Kudus looks electric. He skins Cunha down the right and makes towards the box along the byline. Cunha sticks an arm on his shoulder and lightly tugs. If Kudus goes down, the ref has a decision to make. But he stays on his feet and cuts back to nobody. Cunha treading a fine line there.

10 min: Kudus and Bergvall combine down the right, the latter’s cross blocked and deflected back to Lammens. Savio then nicks the ball of a dawdling Tielemans, but the whistle goes as he advances on the United box. There was contact, but not very much, and that’s a generous award of a foul to get Tielemans out of trouble.

8 min: Lammens hesitates with the ball at his feet – admittedly having taken possession of an unwanted backpass from Martinez – and is nearly closed down. He clears just in time. Already a few concerned mutters from the home fans, who regroup and try to chant their heroes into waking up. Nearly 40 percent of this match has been played in United’s final third.

7 min: Kudus dribbles down the right and is brought to a halt by a combination of Mainoo and Shaw. Nothing comes of the free kick, but Spurs come again through Kudus, who spins into space down the right and crosses for Solanke, who can’t win a header six yards out. United clear their lines, but it’s all Spurs in these opening exchanges.

6 min: Udogie has a chance to feed Solanke down the inside-left channel, but hesitates and the open channel is quickly closed. Spurs have started brightly. “If ever there was a good time to play Tottenham at home it’s now,” begins Dave Estherby. “Stone dead last and can’t buy a goal. However, Utd’s defence has been worryingly porous all season (whadda ya mean it’s only game six?!) and after struggling to hit the proverbial barn door at Fulham Carrick’s bum may be a tad squeaky at the prospect of this one. Not that he should worry too much - if he gets sacked before Xmas he can simply come back as interim in January, that’ll work.”

4 min: … and now Gallagher is booked for a needless tug on Maguire in midfield. He’s got a lot of time left to tread on eggshells.

3 min: Spurs should be leading. Lammens plays a dreadful pass out from the box. It’s intercepted by Bergvall, who feeds Solanke, one on one with the keeper! He should slot into the bottom right, but clanks his shot straight at the stopper, who sticks out a strong arm to make up for his mistake. What a chance.

2 min: Mbeumo spins Van Hecke and is clipped by Bergvall in the centre circle. Any later in the match and it could have been a booking. Should, maybe? It isn’t, though. Cunha tries to take a quick free kick but the referee whistles to put a stop to the caper. And that’s the end of all that.

Spurs get the ball rolling. They’re kicking towards the Stretford End in this first half.

The teams are out. Manchester United in their famous red, white and black, Tottenham in second-choice dark blue with diagonal multi-coloured neon nonsense. Meanwhile here’s the first line of a song ringing out loud from all four corners of Old Trafford: “You know what you are.” No prizes for guessing the rest of the lyrics, or which club they’re serenading. Don’t look back in anger? Good luck with that! We’ll be off in a minute.

Tottenham coach Roberto De Zerbi’s turn to talk to Sky. “[Micky van de Ven does not start] because he plays four games in a row for 90 minutes … we have a squad good enough to change … Marcos Senesi is one of the first XI players no less than Micky or any other centre-back … when Lucas [Bergvall] has played this season he has done very well … [Sandro] Tonali did not play the last international game so I think he is fresh to play … both give quality.”

Manchester United coach Michael Carrick speaks to Sky Sports. “We’re obviously delighted [Amad Diallo is back] … he’s a big part of the group … he offers us an awful lot … it’s nice to have him back … he was looking really good pre-season … he’s close to being back to his best … [Leny Yoro] is at the stage of his career to make the next step … he’s made his debut for France … fully deserved … we look forward to seeing him play … we want to keep moving forward … keep improving … we’ve added a little bit … we’ve had to clean up and sharpen up a few other things … get the balance right … today’s a good time to start.”

The results of the 3pms are in. In the main, it’s been a good afternoon for bottom-placed Spurs: Fulham, Bournemouth and Sunderland all lost, while Aston Villa failed to win, so should Roberto De Zerbi’s men claim all three points this evening, they could catapult up the table as high (realistically) as 14th. Ipswich’s late comeback at Fulham however means Manchester United can only climb as high as 10th with victory here. Sarah Rendell has all the details in today’s Clockwatch.

• Aston Villa 2-2 Brentford

• Chelsea 5-1 Bournemouth

• Ipswich Town 2-1 Fulham

• Sunderland 0-2 Brighton & Hove Albion

This is, of course, a rerun of the 2025 Europa League final. (Bilbao’s a lovely city, though the puppy outside the Guggenheim is a bit underwhelming.) History also offers us all of this …

…. plus one of the great training-ground free-kick routines, right at the very start of this old-school classic. Another six-goal thriller, please, lads!

Amad Diallo isn’t alone in making his first appearance for a while. Also starring at Old Trafford this afternoon, this City-baiting banner beloved of United fans back in the day …

… now updated for the post-guilty-verdict era. Opinions / interpretations / blood-pressure readings may vary, many of which can be sourced elsewhere on your super soaraway internet.

Manchester United make two changes to their starting XI following the 1-1 draw at Fulham three years weeks ago. Leny Yoro and Amad Diallo are in for Diogo Dalot and Marcus Rashford, who both drop to the bench. Diallo is making his first appearance of the season. Still no sign of Matthijs de Ligt.

Tottenham Hotspur switch out over half their team in the sepia-toned wake of the dim-and-distant 2-3 home defeat to Aston Villa. Archie Gray, Lucas Bergvall, Destiny Udogie, Conor Gallagher, Marcos Senesi and Mohammed Kudus are recalled. Omar Marmoush, Mateus Fernandes, Rodrigo Bentancur and captain Micky van de Ven drop to the bench, while Pedro Porro and Andy Robertson are missing through injury.