Earthly affairs
The sex bans have started: after first telling his side 'any individual who cannot control this aspect of his life is not a human being, but an irrational animal', Brazil boss Luiz Felipe Scolari now says they can hump whatever they like as long as they're good on the pitch. 'I'm not interested in what they get up to,' he told the press on Friday. 'They just need to look after their fitness'. Nigeria boss Festus Onigbinde isn't so laid back. 'My players must get themselves prepared spiritually and this can be best achieved through total abstinence from women. They cannot afford to be distracted at such a critical period because women are agents of distraction', he explained. 'They must be pure and forget earthly affairs.'
Phil fights back
Sex aside, it's been a difficult week for Big Phil: after leaving out Romario - surprising the press, including Dog Eat Dog in it's debut prediction - he's now fought back by claiming his decision was based on a snub by the striker. 'He had his chance,' said Scolari - who revealed Romario had refused to join the squad for the Copa America - claiming injury - then appeared on tour with Vasco da Gama instead. 'When I ask for a favour, I like it to be taken care of. I extend my hand once, twice, as many times as necessary. But if the person does not respond, why should I insist?' Former national boss Mario Zagallo led the backlash: 'Each coach has his philosophy of work,' he said, 'but I would have summoned Romario.' Fans attacked Scolari's car after the announcement.
Pachinko pause
Japan's pachinko parlours - garish gangster-attracting semi-legal gambling pits full of beeping, addled pensioners - have declared a moratorium on installing new pinball machines during the World Cup. Every time a new machine is installed crowds queue for hours to get first crack, guarded, by law, by the police. 'Since there are about 17,000 shops nationwide and each installation requires two policemen, it would seriously crimp efforts to deal with the World Cup,' said a trade group spokesman. 'It'll be a bit of a loss for us,' he added, 'but we consider it our contribution to society.'
Britney boy
Pepsi have launched a £6.5m ad campaign in Thailand to capitalise on World Cup hysteria: the ads feature Britney Spears and Crystal Palace youth teamer Teerathep 'Leesaw' Winothai. Leesaw, the first national icon to live in Croydon, has millions of Thai fans who'll buy anything with his face on it. Coca-Cola - official sponsors - are said to be 'steaming'.
No doggy bags
Dog meat producers have announced they've scrapped a plan to offer visiting fans free dog samples outside grounds. The plan - formulated by 150 restaurant owners - involved stalls giving away promotional portions of dog soup, dog sandwiches and dogburgers, but tourism officials weren't keen. 'Since our plan was revealed, we have come under pressure from authorities and others,' said chief dog-frier Park Sung-soo. 'We will not go against the government's wishes.'
Baneful boat
North Korea have told George Bush to back off after he sent Kitty Hawk - an aircraft carrier, not a porn star - to watch over the World Cup. 'The US claims that this military development is meant to "cope with threat of terrorism" during the World Cup,' said a source. 'But this is nothing but a sinister intention to stage new sabre rattling to stifle the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. They are creating an atmosphere of confrontation. This will truly have a baneful impact on the World Cup.'
· Croatia boss Mirko Jozic has called Villa's reserve striker Bosko Balaban into a 25-man squad for their World Cup training camp. Balaban - depressed after a bleak season at Villa ('Oh what a nightmare - when I look back on my season I see a big hole, a big emptiness') - makes it ahead of Liverpool's Igor Biscan and teenage prodigy Jerko Leko. Jozic is without Juve defender Igor Tudor, and will name his final squad after the camp this week.
· Germany are collapsing: striker Carsten Jancker has joined the huge injury list after falling over Oliver Kahn during training at Bayern Munich and wrenching his ankle. Sebastian Deisler, Christian Ziege, Mehmet Scholl, Christian Woerns, Marko Rehmer and Marco Bode are already struggling, while Jens Nowotny and Mehmet Scholl have been ruled out.
· The FA have denied that Alex Ferguson tried to stop David Beckham travelling to the England training camp in Dubai: 'He's definitely going with the rest of the squad,' said FA spokesman Paul Newman. 'There was no dispute with United as far as we are concerned.'
· Saudi Arabia boss Nasser Al-Johar says he won't name his squad until 'the last possible minute' after losing prolific striker Talal Al-Meshal to a knee injury - 'but, really, I am still quite confident.'
· Japan are celebrating after star defender and national icon Ryuzo Morioka recovered from a long-term hamstring problem. He played the full 90 minutes of Shimizu S-Pulse's cup tie at Vissel Kobe last week. 'I felt a bit rusty,' said Morioka, 'but it's just a question of finding my legs again.' Coach Philippe Troussier names his final squad on Friday - he's lost strikers Naohiro Takahara (lung infection) and Akinori Nishizawa (appendix).
· Physio Jean-Marcel Ferret says France are physically weaker than they have been in previous years. 'Physical freshness, or lack of it, is the consequence of their glory in the last few seasons.' France have already lost Robert Pires and Christian Karembeu but Zinedine Zidane, Claude Makelele and Thierry Henry should recover from minor injuries.
· Cameroon doctor Olivier Assamba says Sunderland striker Patrick Mboma is a big doubt. 'We cannot say with any certainty whether he will be fit,' said Asamba, treating Mboma for a heel complaint.
· Lucas Radebe is back in the South Africa squad for their warm-up against Madagascar. The Leeds defender has recovered from 15 months of persistent knee and ankle problems. 'I will take a good look at him,' says coach Jomo Sono - he'll name his squad on Thursday.
Brazil
Goalkeepers: Marcos , Palmeiras, Dida , Corinthians, Rogerio Ceni, Sao Paulo. Defenders : Cafu , AS Roma, Roberto Carlos , Real Madrid, Junior , Parma, Belletti , Sao Paulo, Lucio , B Leverkusen, Roque Junior , AC Milan, Anderson Polga , Gremio, Edmilson, Lyon. Midfielders: Emerson , AS Roma, Gilberto Silva , Atletico Mineiro, Kleberson , Atletico Paranaense, Ronaldinho , PSG, Juninho Paulista , Flamengo, Kaka , Sao Paulo, Vampeta , Corinthians. Forwards: Ronaldo , Internazionale, Edilson , Cruzeiro, Luizao , Gremio, Denilson , Betis, Rivaldo , Barcelona.
Costa Rica
Goalkeepers: Eric Lonnis , Saprissa, Alvaro Mesen , Alajuelense, Lester Morgan , Herediano. Defenders: Mauricio Wright , Herediano, Luis Marin , Alajuelense, Reynaldo Parks , Saprissa, Gilberto Martinez , Saprissa, Harold Wallace , Alajuelense, Jervis Drummond , Saprissa, Carlos Castro , Alajuelense, Juan Jose Rodriguez , San Carlos. Midfielders: Mauricio Solis , Herediano, Rodrigo Cordero , Herediano, Wilmer Lopez , Alajuelense, Walter Centeno , Saprissa, Rolando Fonseca , Alajuelense, Steven Bryce , Alajuelense. Forwards: Winston Parks , Udinese, Paulo Wanchope , Man City, Ronald Gomez , OFI Crete, William Sunsing , Herediano, Hernan Medford , Saprissa, Daniel Vallejos , Herediano.
Denmark
Goalkeepers: Thomas Soerensen , Sunderland, Peter Kjaer , Aberdeen, Jesper Christiansen , Rangers. Defenders: Jan Heintze , PSV Eindhoven, Rene Henriksen , Panathinaikos, Martin Laursen , AC Milan, Thomas Helveg , AC Milan, Niclas Jensen , Manchester City, Kasper Boegelund , PSV Eindhoven, Steven Lustue , Lyn Oslo. Midfielders: Thomas Gravesen , Everton, Stig Toefting , Bolton, Claus Jensen , Charlton, Brian Steen Nielsen , Malmoe, Jan Michaelsen , Panathinaikos, Christian Poulsen , FC Copenhagen. Forwards: Ebbe Sand , Schalke, Jon Dahl Tomasson , Feyenoord, Jesper Groenkjaer , Chelsea, Martin Joergensen , Udinese, Dennis Rommedahl , PSV, Peter Madsen , Broendby, Peter Loevenkrands , Rangers.
Germany
Goalkeepers: Joerg Butt , Leverkusen, Oliver Kahn , Bayern Munich, Jens Lehmann , B Dortmund. Defenders: Joerg Heinrich , B Dortmund, Sebastian Kehl , B Dortmund, Thomas Linke , Bayern Munich, Christoph Metzelder , B Dortmund, Marko Rehmer , Hertha Berlin, Christian Woerns , B Dortmund, Christian Ziege , Tottenham Hotspur. Midfielders: Michael Ballack , B Leverkusen, Sebastian Deisler , Hertha Berlin, Torsten Frings , Werder Bremen, Dietmar Hamann , Liverpool, Jens Jeremies , B Munich, Carsten Ramelow , Bayer Leverkusen, Bernd Schneider , B Leverkusen. Forwards: Gerald Asamoah , Schalke 04, Oliver Bierhoff , AS Monaco, Marco Bode , Werder Bremen, Carsten Jancker , B Munich, Miroslav Klose , FC Kaiserslautern, Oliver Neuville , B Leverkusen.
Ireland
Goalkeepers: Shay Given , Newcastle, Dean Kiely , Charlton, Alan Kelly , Blackburn. Defenders: Steve Staunton , Aston Villa, Steve Finan , Fulham, Kenny Cunningham , Wimbledon, Gary Breen , Coventry, Ian Harte , Leeds, Gary Kelly , Leeds, Richard Dunne , Manchester City, Andy O'Brien , Newcastle. Midfielders: Jason McAteer , Sunderland, Roy Keane , Manchester United, Mark Kinsella , Charlton, Matt Holland , Ipswich, Kevin Kilbane , Sunderland, Mark Kennedy , Wolves, Lee Carsley , Everton; Forwards: Robbie Keane , Leeds, Niall Quinn , Sunderland, Clinton Morrison , Crystal Palace, Damien Duff , Blackburn, David Connelly , Wimbledon.
Italy
Goalkeepers: Gianluigi Buffon , Juventus, Francesco Toldo , Inter, Christian Abbiati , Milan. Defenders: Fabio Cannavaro , Parma, Alessandro Nesta , Lazio, Paolo Maldini , Milan, Christian Panucci , Roma, Marco Materazzi , Inter, Mark Iuliano , Juventus, Francesco Coco , Barcelona. Midfielders: Luigi Di Biagio , Inter, Cristiano Zanetti , Inter, Gianluca Zambrotta , Juventus, Gennaro Ivan Gattuso , Milan, Angelo Di Livio , Fiorentina, Damiano Tommasi , Roma, Cristiano Doni , Atalanta. Forwards: Marco Delvecchio , Roma, Vincenzo Montella , Roma, Francesco Totti , Roma, Christian Vieri , Inter, Filippo Inzaghi, Milan, Alessandro Del Piero , Juventus.
Slovenia
Goalkeepers: Mladen Dabanovic , Lokeren, Dejan Nemec, Club Brugge, Marko Simeunovic , Maribor Pivovarna Lasko. Defenders: Spasoje Bulajic , FC Cologne, Marinko Galic , Sportline Koper, Aleksander Knavs , FC Kaiserslautern, Zeljko Milinovic , JEF United, Goran Sankovic , Slavia Prague, Muamer Vugdalic , Maribor Pivovarna Lasko. Midfielders: Milenko Acimovic , Crvena Zvezda, Ales Ceh , Grazer AK, Nastja Ceh , Club Bruges, Sasha Gajser , Gent, Amir Karic , Maribor Pivovarna Lasko, Dzoni Novak , Unterhaching, Miran Pavlin , Porto, Zoran Pavlovic , Austria Vienna, Rajko Tavcar , Nuernberg, Zlatko Zahovic , Benfica. Forwards: Sebastjan Cimerotic , Lecce, Milan Osterc , Hapoel Tel Aviv, Mladen Rudonja, Portsmouth, Senad Tiganj, Olimpija.
email david.hills@observer.co.uk
