Well, there have been worse nights for England in New Zealand, and for Topsy Ojo, scorer of two tries on his debut, none better. One minute he was a first-cap winger, trapped in a web of All Black overlaps, the next he was scoring two tries.
But had it not been for the winger's brace out of very little - an interception of a Dan Carter pass 85 metres out in the first half and reception of a sliced kick from Danny Care in the second - we might have been marking a new entry in the record book, because there was a huge gulf between the sides.
England at one stage were staring at a rare old hiding. Luke Narraway and Steve Borthwick had just got into a muddle in their own 22 after a switch pass from Carter had gone astray, and Ma'a Nonu had just fed Sitiveni Sivivatu for the All Blacks' fourth try. The England scrum was turning a whole lot faster than the hands on the clock, cruel needles that revealed there remained a full half hour to play, and more tries seemed inevitable.
If two wayward passes by Carter have already been noted they were the only two he misdirected all night. The outside half was back to his sparkling best after his drowned-rat performance against Ireland in Wellington last week.
He ended up with a personal tally of 22 points, with a try and no missed kicks in seven attempts, and combined elegantly with his midfield. His try came straight from a scrum - 'a dreadful bit of defence,' according to England assistant coach Mike Ford - when he ran in simple support of Sivivatu, who had come off his wing into a flimsily defended channel, with Charlie Hodgson an unarmed sentry.
All Black coach Graham Henry was afterwards quick to praise his 10-12-13 axis: Carter the distributor to the forceful Ma'a Nonu, with Conrad Smith ever alert to stretch half breaks into full ones. Nonu blasted through poor old Hodgson, whose comeback was buried by a stampede aimed exclusively at him, for the try by Mils Muliaina. Smith pursued a grubber expertly threaded through the defence by Carter for the first try of the night.
Yes, it had all the makings of a bleak landmark in the England archive. But it would grow no worse. The scrum began to collapse rather than spin; Matt Stevens's ordeal at the hands of Neemie Tialata was over. The New Zealand line-out, imprecise all night, remained inaccurate, and the All Blacks started to play with the frivolity that had cost them so dearly at the World Cup against France in the quarter final.
Ojo scored his second, Luke Narraway battled on and on, outstanding as a number eight on the back foot, and the new midfield of Olly Barkley, Mike Tindall and Jamie Noon at least plugged the Hodgson hole. There was no sign of anything too creative from England but at least they held out.
For a few moments at the start, it seemed they might achieve a good deal more than survive. Andrew Sheridan picked up Richie McCaw at the opening ruck and hurled the All Black captain backwards, a gesture of defiance that seemed to set up the prop, the only survivor from the England starting line-up for the World Cup final, for a grand performance.
It never really materialised. Sheridan, for preventing release at a ruck, was sin-binned just after the half-hour, just after the All Blacks had recovered from their sticky start and begun to purr. He returned, only to go off again, this time for good with blood smeared all over his cheeks. Determined but doomed, he was the emblem of the night.
Tindall was binned too, England's cause never helped by their indiscipline, but saved at the same time from greater hurt by their commitment to slowing the game down by all means. And there, really, was the reason for the gulf between the two teams.
The All Blacks were so much faster of limb and thought and reaction. When Rodney So'oialo, who broke his nose not once but twice against Ireland and who missed not a minute of contact training all week, hit a ruck, he belted it. When little Andy Ellis, or his replacement, the slight Jimmy Cowan, made a break from scrum half, they did so with naked aggression.
It's not as if England, brought up on premiership rugby that is never shy of contact, cannot handle a physical game, but here they looked cautious, shaken by the ferocity of their opponents. This was lust for action on a different scale, an awakening for youngsters like James Haskell and Tom Rees, a cruel reminder for Hodgson of what it's like down here.
The defining moment of the down-side for England came when, having nudged themselves during their encouraging opening into a 6-3 lead, they lost control of the ball from the restart. They had just scored themselves and now found themselves yielding a try almost immediately.
They soon found themselves in deeper trouble, seventeen points adrift and with Carter in the act of giving a scoring pass to Smith. It fell instead to Ojo, who sprinted almost the entire length of the field. After the about-turn had come a slice of luck.
There would be no more good fortune for England. They were pounded by two quick tries in the second half and were heading for deep trouble. But in those same depths they found reserves of obstinacy, powers that will not be enough to turn their tour around in Christchurch but that at least kept them from suffering the very worst of nights in Auckland.
Teams
New Zealand: Muliaina (MacDonald 52), Tuitavake, Smith, Nonu, Sivivatu; Carter (Donald 69), Ellis (Cowan 59); Tialata, Hore, Somerville, Thorn (Boric 52), Williams, So'oialo, McCaw (capt), Kaino (Lauaki 52).
England: Brown, Ojo, Tindall, Barkley, Strettle; Hodgson (Noon 49), Wigglesworth (Care 62); Sheridan (Payne 63), Mears (Paice 75), Stevens, Palmer (Kay 53), Borthwick (capt), Haskell (Worsley 62), Rees, Narraway.
Scorers
New Zealand: Tries: Smith, Carter, Muliaina, Sivivatu. Cons: Carter 4 Pens: Carter 3
England: Tries: Ojo 2 Cons: Barkley 2 Pens: Barkley 2
