"How does this compare to Uganda?" asked a sleepy Rio Ferdinand. The defender had made a 36-hour whistle-stop trip to Lagos taking in an orphanage, the state governor, lunch with influential business people, a gala dinner, a soccer clinic and some street football.
The Nigeria government is one of the many sponsors of the trip, picking up the hotel tab. Some of the local dignitaries have, apparently, paid princely sums to be in the same room as Ferdinand, who has no doubt not gone unrewarded.
Alas, local resident John Fashanu, the former Wimbledon captain and Gladiators presenter, who appeared the instant Ferdinand's plane landed, does not seem as welcome. At a press conference later the same day, he was told by a cousin of Ferdinand's agent that he was not wanted too near proceedings. It was an incident that could have escalated if Fash the Bash, as he was sometimes known during his playing career, had not shown admirable restraint.
A meeting with Nelson Mandela that was supposed to be part of the proceedings had yet to happen. Still, as Ferdinand made a courtesy tour of the Virgin Airline building after arriving, his expression increasingly became one of benevolent bemusement as photographers, journalists, staff with camera-phones, security officers, bodyguards, policemen, Ferdinand's agent, the hangers-on of Ferdinand's agent, and an ever increasing entourage fought for some quality Rio time.
"What's happening?" was his response to it all as he headed for his blacked-out jeep on route to the orphanage. To his first query regarding Uganda, I offered the opinion that his visit there last summer had been far more intense. Then, Ferdinand spent the 50km from Entebbe Airport to Uganda's capital, Kampala, standing up out of his vehicle's skylight grinning at the thousands who'd risen early to greet him.
Here in Nigeria there has been definite interest. The non-appearance of Mandela might have dampened proceedings but Ferdinand, who has met him before, did not let it show. He was led on a tour of the orphanage but, with the hangers-on multiplying and beginning to become annoying, Ferdinand asked to see the children again, this time alone.
This trip has been his last before beginning a holiday during which he'll try to forget England's absence from Euro 2008. Since ending the football season with a penalty shoot-out in Moscow that won Manchester United the Champions League, Ferdinand has not slowed, with England's long-haul flight to Trinidad and Tobago preceding the visit to west Africa.
A European Cup and Premier League double, though, eases a lot of fatigue.
What, then, of those penalties in Moscow? Did Ferdinand think John Terry was going to miss? "Not really. But these things happen, thank God. No one likes to lose. But penalties are absolutely the worse way to lose, and I've been on the receiving end before."
And Euro 2008 - will he be watching? "No way. And I don't do Euros, do I?
They're not in my remit," Ferdinand says with a smile. He's never played in the tournament because he was banned for a missed drugs test four years ago and excluded from the squad by Kevin Keegan in 2000.
Nevertheless, while traveling to Nigeria the talk was of which country might win the Euros. Predictably, maybe, I suggested Portugal because of Cristiano Ronaldo. "Nah," Ferdinand laughed. "Have you seen their midfield? Too weak." When someone else mentioned Croatia, Ferdinand pointed to the loss of the injured Eduardo, "who scored all their goals in qualification", before naming Italy as likely winners.
Ferdinand, the man who lifted the Premier League and Champions League
trophy for United, and who is favourite to become permanent England
captain under Fabio Capello, is not flying from here to Wayne Rooney's week-long stag-do in Ibiza. Personally, I cannot quite understand why he might be avoiding it. But, like the journey to Trinidad, the decision will not do him any harm.
The official itinerary made provision for an after-party at the hotel. If Mandela turned up then he could not be found at the bar or on the dance floor. Maybe there was a clue to the whereabouts of the de facto leader of the free world back in the bar, following the party. As a weary Ferdinand headed off to a further get-together in his honour, someone wondered if Mandela might be making an appearance.
"Nelson Mandela?" offered Ferdinand, with a raised eyebrow. Possibly not. But John Fashanu? Maybe ...
