Teams:
Stoke: Sorensen, Wilkinson, Abdoulaye Faye, Shawcross,
Higginbotham, Delap, Whelan, Amdy Faye, Pugh, Cresswell, Fuller.
Subs: Simonsen, Olofinjana, Lawrence, Pericard, Davies, Tonge,
Sonko.
Man Utd: Van der Sar, Neville, Evans, Vidic, O'Shea,
Ronaldo, Scholes, Fletcher, Giggs, Rooney, Tevez.
Subs: Kuszczak, Berbatov, Park, Carrick, Welbeck, Rafael Da Silva, Evans.
Referee: Chris Foy (Merseyside)
Preamble:
It's the day after Christmas and just a few days after an arduous hike to Japan and back – surely United would rather be anywhere than in the Britannia Stadium today, doing anything other than playing dodgems with a bunch of six-foot bangers who are battling for survival. Oh look, Dimitar Berbatov isn't starting.
Just two points above the drop zone, Stoke know they have to face United, Liverpool and Chelsea over the next few weeks and therefore could be neck-deep in dung by the time January is done – win today and they'll have high hopes of avoiding such indignity. But it'll be 3-1 United, won't it? And, bizarrely, they'll probably get more praise for that victory than they did for becoming world club champions last week.
Bit you may or may not be interested in:
This match brings back memories for me. The last time Stoke met Manchester United in the league (other than earlier this season, obviously) was at Old Trafford in April 1985, and I was there, attending only my second-ever match in England, sporting a magnificent bowl hairdo and marvelling at Jesper Olsen, who scored twice, as did Mark Hughes. I think Norman Whiteside got the other one (he says after looking it up). My first match in England, since you ask, was at Anfield three years earlier, when Liverpool slaughtered Southampton 5-0. Mark Lawrenson and Ronnie Whelan both bagged two that day (with Graeme Souness getting the other day) but what I remember most, funnily enough, was Terry McDermott taking the mickey by getting down on all-fours to head a throw-in back to Sammy Lee.
My first match anywhere in the world was a 1-1 draw between Bohemians and Athlone Town some time in the late 70s. I recall annoying my dad by continually insisting that Bohs' star striker was none other than Luke Connolly, the meek duffel-coat-clad bloke who lived around the corner from us. It wasn't, of course, our timid neighbour just happened to look a little like the great Gino Lawless. And now over to you, what are your early football memories, eh?
12:33pm Rio Ferdinand has just knacked his back in the warm-up, so will have to be repalced by Jonny Evans. Hmmmn. Think I'll adjust my prediction. Let's go for a 3-2 post-Christmas cracker.
12:41pm: Out march the teams, into a bright and chilly afternoon, and a tumultuous atmosphere. "For the past several years, me and a couple of mates (ok, usually just me on my own) have headed off to the pub for the lunch time kick off on Boxing day, turning up at my mum's half cut for the evening meal," dribbles Alec Cochrane. "This year I am driving to see my girlfriend and her family. Having said that, I went to see Blackburn beat Palace away on New Year's eve the year Blackburn won the title. It was a terrible game, I sat in the front three rows and got drenched when it started sleeting two minutes in and we weren't under the cover of the roof. Oh those were the days."
1 min: Tevez and Rooney set the game in motion. It's worth nothing - again - that the Stoke fans are making an absolutely tremendous din. "Great to see Liam Lawrence back, we've really missed him after he was ruled out of the last few games after tripping over his dog!" rejoices Steve Clowes. "Rory Delap cant take throw ins today still suffering with shoulder. By the way, I happen to know that the first single Rory bought was Stand and Deliver by Adam and the Ants. But no Stand and Delivering for him today! Sinec Sonko isn't playing, we will be relying on Danny Higgingbottom for the throw ins. By the way, I was at The Victoria Ground when we beat United 2-1 on Boxing Day 1981."
2 mins: Great chance for Fuller! Evans dithered under a high ball and the striker nipped into but swung wildly at it, slashing it over the bar from 12 yards.
3 mins: Vidic hurls himself at a Giggs corner and meets it meatily. But from six yards he steered it badly wide.
5 mins: Stoke area harrassing United in familiar fashion, preventing them from finding any rhythm and forcing a few wonky passes.
7 mins: Still no pattern to the game, unless the frantic anarchy that Stoke specialise in can be considered a pattern. "Not earliest but my greatest memory was in '76 or '77 when Cruyff et al demolished England at Wembley 2-0," recalls MIke caermon, wiping a tear from his eye >It could have been six! Ray Wilkins spent half the match on his arse and I started the 'load of rubbish' song at the end! Holland are still the best team I've ever seen live."
9 mins: Ronaldo touches the ball for (probably) the first time, and unsurprisingly he doesn't dwell on it, flicking it smartlyu to Neville. The full-back crosseas towards the penalty spot, where Tevez gets to it first, but can't divert his volley on goal.
11 mins: Fuller is dispossessed on the edge of the United ear by an uncharacteristically precise Scholes tackle.
13 mins: Stoke applying decent pressure, but United holding firm, repelling the long angular crosses. "Any thoughts on why the Skeletor look-alike that is Darren Fletcher is getting his game ahead of Andreson?" interrogates In McCourt. They've been much of muchness this season, I'd say. It's the absence of Michael Carrick that is most surprising, a clear and perhaps ill-advised concession to Stoke's robustness.
16 mins: Fuller shows expert control to take down a long ball from Delap. Van der Sar surges off his line to block the shot, which squirts out for a corner. A curious thing: their prowess from throw-ins is well-known, but Stoke are the only side in the league not to have scored from a corner this season. "My earliest football memory was Watford v Newport County," blubs Simon Frank. "Roger Joslyn scored- he was balding, had a beard and wore No 10. That was 1977, a mate's birthday party. Now I'm watching Man U v Stoke on a laptop with French commentary in the Bahamas. Crumbs." It's nice to have you with us and everything, but is there not anything better to do on a day off in the Bahamas?
19 mins: Stoke are on top at the moment, their sheer hunger and vigour cowing United.
20 mins: Delap fires in a trademark throw-in - there's seems to be nothing amiss with his arm - and Van der Sar is thankful for the referee's whistle, blown because of a foul by Shawcross. The keeper elected to stick resolutely tro his line from that throw, even though it came within two yards of him. A questionable approach, that Stoke will seek to exploit at the next opportunity, you imagine. Or at least, I imagine. Moments later, Cresswell is booked for leading with his arm as he jumped with Evans.
23 mins: Stoke rob United with yet another ferocious-but-fair tackle. Whelan releases Fuller, who gallops into the box ... and then, in a comical intervention, his boot flies off and he slips to the ground! United counter quickly, but embarassing mis-ccontrol by Ronaldo surrenders possession back to the home side.
25 mins: Neville whips in a lovely cross that Rooney meets it at the near angle of the six-yard box. He does well to send it goalward, but Sorensen got his positioning right and collected it comfortably.
27 mins: Evans booked for coming through Cresswell to win the ball.
30 mins: A corner provokes panic in the Stoke box, until Higginbotham desperately scrambles it clear. Ronaldo had a chance to slam the ball into the net, but again his control betrayed him. He doesn't seem to fancy it today. "My early memory of football is being in the Boys' Pen at Goodison Park," wibbles Gary Naylor. "20p secured entry to a smallish sized cage, through the mesh wire of which one could just discern the players in the distance as one kept company with a 1970s incarnation of Fagin's gang. Inevitably, we were poor but happy." Nice Twist you put on things there, Gary. Meanwhile, Simon Frank points out that it's only 8am in the Bahamas, which I had forgotten, and that his girl-friend is still asleep, which I knew, obviously.
33 mins: Fuller's proving quite bothersome to United's back four today, and again it took three of them to shepherd him away as he tried to bustle through to the goal.
34 mins: United, who are playing on the counter, rumble forward anew. Ronaldo slips it to Neville, who knocks it inside to Rooney. He fires a fine ball across the face of goal but none of his team-mates had anticipated it.
37 mins: United go the Stoke route, Scholes hitting a long ball forward. It's headed out as far as Rooney, who smashes it goalward. But it takes a deflection and flies behind for a corner.
39 mins: United force a succession of corners, but all threewere well defended, a Stoke player winning each header.
41 mins: After a swift United move initaited by a sharp pass-and-dash by Scholes, Whealan concedes a freekick on the edge of the area. Stoke aren't happy about it, apparently convinced that the Irishman's tackle on Scholes was perfectly fair, but since Sky aren't showing a replay I couldn't truly say whether they're right. What I can say, however, is that Ronaldo hard just banged the freekick straight into the wall. He wasn't helped by the fact that the wall was only about five yards away. The sooner those sprays for indicating the 10-yard distance are introduced, the better.
43 mins: Fuller booked for berating the ref after another free is awarded to United. "My dad was a big Man City fan, and when I was six he took me to watch Man City reserves play Man Utd reserves," recalls Geoff Ashworth. "As it was 1956 United had quite the team, with many of the Busby Babes, and were 3-0 up by half time. I became a United fan there and then much to Dad's disgust!"
44 mins: Lusty jeers greet a timid shot by Rooney, who had sliced the Stoke defence apart courtesy of a slick one-two with Tevez.
45+2 mins: Half-time. Tony Pulis presumably demand more of the same from his well-drilled troops in the second half. United are content to play on the counter but with Ronaldo off form and Tevez as busy but inaccurate as usual, their only hope of a goal appears to be Rooney. 3-2 is not looking likely at this stage. 1-0 Stoke might be more like it.
46 mins: No changes during the break. And on a side note, I received some shattering news during the break. Nadir Belhajd scored for Pompey. Arrrghhh! I only went and took him out of my fantasy team this morning! More happily, Lampard is in my team and he's just put Chelsea two up.
47 mins: Tevez jinks into the box and lets fly from a tight angle. It's got plenty of power but straight at Sorensen, who beats it behind for a corner.
50 mins: United have been in charge since the resumption, monopolising possession. But Stoke are discipliend and diligent and openings won't be simply presented to the visitors, who are sturggling to crate any. Though Tevez has jsut got a shot away after some ping-pong in the box. Wasn't on target though.
52 mins: Still play is entirely in the Stoke half. Still United look blunt.
54 mins: Stoke are retreating further and further back, reverting to the approach they showcased at Anfield earlier in the season. And with Giggs and Ronaldo peripheral, Tevez limited and Rooney seemingly bereft of the shooting boots he only occasionaly wears, another 0-0 is certainly not impossible. "I don't remember my first match," mourns Ted Maul. "We had the choice between going to Bradford or Huddersfield. We went to Bradford. Huddersfield won their match 7-5."
57 mins: Stoke piece together a forward movement, but Delap decides not to pursue Fuller's pass, apparently believing he had strayed offside. He was wrong.
58 mins: Sorensen shows splendid reactions to turn away a swirling Scholes snapshot from 25 yards.
58 mins: It's end-to-end stuff all of a sudden! Van der Sar has just dived full-length to turn away a 20-yarder from Fuller. And then the keeper looked on helplessly as Pugh rose to nod a Delap throw-in towards goal. Well, not quite towards goal: it floated over the bar.
60 mins: Right in front of the linesman Rooney flings an arm into Faye's face as he attempts to shield the ball. Incredibly, the linesman doesn't flag.
62 mins: There's plenty of niggle in this match, and a red card looks as likely as a goal at this stage. O'Shea, who moments ago bolicked Van der Sar after a mix-up in the United defence, has just headed a Delap throw-in out for a corner. Under pressure, Van der Sar punches clear.
64 mins: A positive United change: Berbatov lolls on for O'Shea. Giggs will seemingly go to left-back, Stoke's lack of anything resembling a speedster on the flanks meaning that's not as risky as it might otherwise be.
66 mins: Freekick to Stoke from 25 yards. They take it short and produce a clever training-ground move that culminates with Delap cutting a dangerous ball back from the by-line. Van der Sar intervenes to concede a corner, which he promptly punches behind for another one. This time Faye meets it, and the keeper saves.
68 mins: After United's early promise in the second half, Stoke have bossed the last ten minutes. The atmosphere is electrifying as the home fans have the strong scent of an upset. And here comes Delap with another long throw-in ... Neville does well to butt it clear.
70 mins: Wilkinson clatters into Ronaldo some 45 yards from goal. It was silly and clumsy and undoubtedly worthy of another yellow card. Off he goes, clapping to the crowd as he goes. For some reason, they return his applause.
73 mins: Stoke change: Andrew Davies comes on to make his debut as the home side reshuffle to strenghten their back line in the wake of the loss of Wilkinson. Delap is the man to make way. No more missile-like throw-ins, then.
75 mins: Giggs finds Rooney with a sumptous long cross-field ball. United then work it to the other side, where Ronaldo collects it, shimmies in off the flank and shoots. It flies out for a throw-in, summing up today's contribution from the Best Player in the World.
76 mins: That's better from Ronaldo. He raced to the by-line and clipped a fine cross to the back post, where Berbatov showed why he has scored fewer league goals this season than his much-maligned former team-mate Robbie Keane. Just to be clear: he headed miles wide.
78 mins: After Vidic muscularly robs Fuller at one end, United hare down the other and Rooney tests Sorensen with a decent bang from the edge of the box. The keeper is unperturbed. "In Sky's commentary, there's a lot of sympathetic words regarding jet lag and tiredness after MUFC's trip to Japan," hollers Gary Naylor. "Last season, around this time of year, the club jetted off to Saudi Arabia of their own volition. If there's any mention of fatigue after the Japan trip from MUFC staff or their poodles in the media, we should remember that."
80 mins: Neville drifts inside to assume the midfield general role. Inevitably, that concludes with an expert sidefooted pass straight out of play.
81 mins: Berbatov miscontrols a Rooney dink, letting it run through to Sorensen. "Stoke would celebrate a draw here as if it were their biggest win of the season," patronises Sky's commentator.
GOAL! Stoke 0-1 Manchester United 1 (Tevez 84')
84 mins: Berbatov does well to beat a defender to the ball but then miscues his shot from eight yards. Fortunately for him it flies straight to Tevez, who slams it into the net from close range!
85 mins: United are now content to knock the ball around the back. Exhausted, Stoke seem unable to stop them.
86 mins: Neville reacts nastily to a late tackle by Whealan. As he approaches the Irishman to whinge, he is twice pushed back with one hand. Both players are booked. But United still have a freekick in a dangerous position. Ronaldo's effort is deflected just wide.
88 mins: Stoke can't get the ball. From that fact we may now deduce they will not get any points either.
90 mins: Stoke make a double substitution, and not a moment too soon. Far too late, in fact. Olofinjana and Perciard replace Cresswell and Amdy Faye. There will be four mintues added time, mind. "Now I can enjoy my golf game in 80 degs," hurrahs Neville in Fort Lauderdale. "I had tickets to Wembley in 1948 but had to sell them due to grabbing passage to Canada. We always saw a Machester game every Saturday after Old Trafford was bombed and we often went to Maine Road too."
90+3 mins: Sorensen launches a mighty ball into the United box, but it's headed well clear and United resume their keep-ball session.
Full-time: A hard-fought victory for United, which only began to look likely after Andy Wilkinson was sent off in the 70th minute. It could have been very different had the full-back not lost his head, or indeed if the referee had seen a flailing arm from Rooney earlier on. But he didn't, and this could prove a precious result in the title race. Thanks for tuning in. Please call again.
