According to the old saw you can only beat the opposition in front of you. Mmm. When the opposition plays the way Italy did in the first 40 minutes today I'd have thought that was the very least you should do. It has been 10 seasons since Italy played their first Six Nations match, the famous 34-20 win over Scotland, and in all that they've rarely played as poorly as they did in parts today. They fell apart as easily as the stitching on their shirts.
When Mauro Bergamasco spewed out the wild pass that led directly to England's third try, even Martin Johnson seemed embarrassed on Nick Mallet's behalf. Johnson sat and shook his head, his face a picture of disbelief. Mallett seemed to have been humiliated into paralysis in the first half. He'd been fostering the idea of playing Bergamasco at scrum-half since his days at Stade Français. It took him all of 40 minutes to abandon the idea and that was at least half-an-hour too long.
Bergamasco's play hobbled his side as effectively as anything Kathy Bates ever did with a sledgehammer. His wayward distribution, complete lack of spacial awareness and understandable inclination to hurl himself into the nearest ruck stymied Italy and turned Andrea Marcato into a walking tackle bag. Bergamasco stank Twickenham out something foul, and was directly to blame for both England's second and third tries. Fabio Ongaro's throwing at the line-out equally ugly, gifting Andy Goode with what must have been the snappiest English try at Twickenham since David Rees slid in the second minute against New Zealand in 1997.
For England there was little to learn from such a win, but then Johnson hadn't picked a side to learn lessons. His pragmatic team selection was designed to secure a convincing victory, and on the scoreboard at least they delivered that. They deserve credit at least for the clincism of their finishing, but that aside there was little in the performance to inspire much confidence ahead of their upcoming clash in Cardiff.
For all the talk of his form in France, a year abroad has not changed Andy Goode all that much, as just as he ever he did not look quite good enough. His start was neat enough but the snappy finish was exactly that, it was as convincing as he got. Afterwards there were the missed goal kicks and a missed tackle on Andrea Masi and an aimless punt that led to Italy's late try.
James Haskell was another who undid the good work in the build up to a try with some errors that suggested the same old problems. The trip that brought him his yellow card was his second stupid penalty of the half, following an earlier infringement for not binding properly at a scrum. The bright spots? Ellis, of course. Nick Kennedy was also superb, and was prominent enough in the loose to scotch suggestions that he offers little outside of the line-out, and Mark Cueto carried his fine form from the Guinness Premiership back into Test rugby easily enough.
In the first half today Italy should have been carved apart as easily as the sunday topside, and England did that. But after Mallett finally made the obvious change at half-time, introducing Giulio Toniolatti at scrum-half, England started to struggle. No necessart shame in that; we were finally seeing something like the Italian side we had been expecting, albeit one that had had substituted some callow players into key positions.
England eventually did likewise, and the way they played when Ben Foden and Shane Geraghty were on the pitch merely reminded you why Johnson had opted for the likes of Goode, Mike Tindall and Jamie Noon in the first place. As the 80 minutes wore on England seemed to get progressively worse. The feeling remains that something is rotten in the England camp, and while there are many theories no one seems to have a convincing diagnosis, let alone a cure. Whether Martin Johnson knows any different remains to be seen, he won't be able to rely on the blunders of his opposite number next weekend.
