Chelsea 2-1 Everton

Liverpool 1-0 QPR

Man City 2-3 Norwich

Newcastle 0-1 Arsenal

Southampton 1-1 Stoke

Swansea 0-3 Fulham

Tottenham 1-0 Sunderland

WBA 5-5 Manchester United (the first ever 5-5 draw in the Premier League)

Wigan 2-2 Aston Villa

West Ham 4-2 Reading

5-5! Five, bloody five. Ferguson's managerial career is officially over!

Emanuelson taps in a third when Vorm could only parry a shot.

Football. Bloody hell!

Hat-trick? Tick.

Come on 5-5!

What a good player Lukaku is? Where will he be next season?

The captain has beaten the Reading offside trap and got his second goal of the game as West Ham retake the lead.

The Bulgarian puts down his book on existentialism long enough to collect a Ruiz pass, stroll around Vorm and double his side's lead.

Torres, who has been so much better since Rafa took over, knocks one in at the near post from Moses' cross.

He will go out on a high, that's for sure now. Giggs comes off the bench, puts in a low cross and Hernandez does the rest from all but three yards out.

Norwich, who could not buy a win away from home – or indeed a goal – for love, nor money, nor ice-cream, nor alcohol, have taken the lead for the third time away to Manchester City. Incredible stuff from Howson who runs from his own half, beats three defenders and then puts the ball under Hart.

Comebacks are the new black.

Why hasn't he made the England squad? Is there an English striker with more goals to his name this season?

Maybe not so miserable after all.

Comeback off.

Comeback complete.

Talking of comebacks.

A miserable season is coming to a miserable end for Manchester City. But it is fun times for Holt who has scored in three successive Premier League games for only the second time.

Lukaku has come off the bench and is doing his best to ruin's Ferguson's last game in charge of Manchester United. Maybe they can do one of those comeback things.

Well that didn't take very long did it? Here I was hoping for a nice quiet second half. The former Southampton striker is found by Cameron and he heads it beyond the Saints keeper. Still no sign of Owen getting on the pitch.

... here we go.

Chelsea 1-1 Everton

Liverpool 1-0 QPR

Man City 1-1 Norwich

Southampton 0-0 Stoke

Swansea 0-1 Fulham

West Bromwich Albion 1-3 Manchester United

West Ham 2-0 Reading

Wigan 2-1 Aston Villa

That is OG No 47 of the season as a Wigan shot is cleared off the line by Westwood before being lumped into the shins of Baker and into the net.

Maybe it's not over yet? Morrison nips in front of Jones to convert Dorran's right-wing cross.

Some very nice stuff from Carroll sets up Vaz Te and that is probably game over already over in the east side of Long Beach London. The Hammers would do well to hold on to Boxer next season, he done been good of late.

This could not be any easier for the champions. Pretty sure, that's Buttner's first second goal for the club.

Well that didn't last very long did it? Some nice tiki-taka from City ends up with Rodwell driving one into the roof of the net.

The curse of the Guardian interview strikes as Alex McCarthy's kick hits Carroll and Nolan capitalises on his mistake.

The best player on the pitch puts Liverpool ahead. Ibe did the maziest of runs on the left, dancing his way around some QPR players before setting up Coutinho whose low shot ends up in the bottom corner of the net.

Against the run of play, Frimpong sets up Kacaniklic who did the smartest of finishes.

The very impressive Maloney gets the ball, sprays it wide to Espinoza and Boyce bashes one in with his head at the back post.

Well, well, some shocking stuff from David Luiz sees Naismith one-on-one with Cech and he don't miss.

Told you it wouldn't be the last goal of the Ferguson's reign. Some decent build-up play sees Olsson toe-poke Valencia's shot over the line.

Will this be the last goal of Ferguson's reign? Probably not.

A wonderful move sees Howard only parrying Ba's shot and Mata slots in the rebound to give Chelsea the lead. What a wonderful player – and by all accounts a top bloke – that Mata is.

Remember Darren Bent? Well he has only gone and put his side in front with his third goal of the season.

Peeeeeeeeeeeep! go the whistles of various referees around the country as the final day of the season finally gets under the way. There was a guard of honour at Anfield from the Liverpool and QPR players for the retiring Jamie Carragher. Ferguson got the same treatment at WBA too. By the way, if you fancy emailing and saying hi or confessing your favourite moment of the season, feel free to do so. Don't be shy.

Chelsea v Everton

Chelsea: Cech; Ivanovic, Cahill, David Luiz, Cole; Ake, Lampard; Torres, Mata, Oscar; Ba. Subs: Turn, Azpilicueta, Ferreira, Christensen, Marin, Benayoun, Moses.

Everton: Howard, Coleman, Baines, Jagielka, Distin, Gibson, Fellaini, Pienaar, Mirallas, Naismith, Anichebe. Subs: Mucha, Hibbert, Heitinga, Oviedo, Jelavic, Barkley, Duffy.

Liverpool v QPR

Liverpool: Reina, Johnson, Enrique, Carragher, Skrtel, Lucas, Henderson, Downing, Ibe, Coutinho, Sturridge. Subs: Jones, Wisdom, Coady, Coates, Suso, Assaidi, Borini.

QPR: Green; Harriman, Onuoha, Hill, Traore, Derry, Park, Remy, Zamora, Townsend, Mbia. Subs: Murphy, Mackie, Granero, Fabio, Hoilett, Bothroyd, Ehmer.

Man City v Norwich

Man City: Hart, Zabaleta, Richards, Lescott, Kolarov, Yaya Toure, Rodwell, Milner, Tevez, Nasri, Dzeko. Subs: Pantilimon, Clichy, Maicon, Garcia, Barry, Silva, Aguero.

Norwich: Ruddy; R.Martin, Whittaker, Johnson, Howson, Snodgrass, Holt, Pilkington, Hoolahan, Garrido, R.Bennett. Subs: Bunn; Fox, E.Bennett, Becchio, Barnett, Butterfield, Tettey.

Southampton v Stoke

Southampton: K. Davis, Clyne, Fonte, Hooiveld, Shaw, Schneiderlin, Cork, S. Davis, Rodriguez, Lallana, Lambert. Subs: Gazzaniga, Yoshida, Ward-Prowse, Mayuka, Chambers, Isgrove, Puncheon.

Stoke: Begovic; Shotton, Shawcross, Huth, Wilson; Walters, Nzonzi, Whitehead, Cameron, Etherington; Crouch. Subs: Sorensen, Wilkinson, Palacios, Cuvelier, Kightly, Jerome, Owen.

Swansea v Fulham

Swansea: Vorm, Rangel, Chico, Williams, Davies, Britton, de Guzman, Routledge, Dyer, Hernandez, Michu. Subs: Tremmel, Tiendalli, Monk, Taylor, Agustien, Lamah, Shechter.

Fulham: Schwarzer; Riether, Senderos, Hangeland, Riise; Duff, Frimpong, Enoh, Kacaniklic; Ruiz; Berbatov. Subs: Etheridge, Hughes, Emanuelson, Karagounis, Frei, Petric, Rodallega.

West Bromwich Albion v Manchester United

WBA: Foster; Jones, McAuley, Olsson, Ridgewell; Yacob, Mulumbu; Dorrans, Morrison, Brunt; Long. Subs: Dawson, Tamas, Lukaku, Rosenberg, Popov, Fortune.

Sir Alex Ferguson's final ever Manchester United team: Lindegaard, Valencia, Jones, Evans, Buttner, Cleverley, Carrick, Anderson, Kagawa, Van Persie, Hernandez. Subs: De Gea, Evra, Vidic, Ferdinand, Giggs, Scholes, Januzaj.

West Ham v Reading

West Ham: Jaaskelainen, Demel, O'Brien, Collins, Reid, Noble, Diame, Nolan, J.Cole, Vaz Te, Carroll. Subs: Henderson, Tomkins, Collison, Maiga, Wellington Paulista, O'Neil, Taylor.

Reading: McCarthy. Gunter, Kelly, Gorkss, Morrison, McCleary, McAnuff (c), Guthrie, Karacan, Robson-Kanu, Pogrebnyak. Subs: Taylor, Pearce, Mariappa, Le Fondre, Akpan, Carrico, Blackman.

Wigan v Aston Villa

Wigan: Al Habsi, Kone, McCarthy, Watson, Maloney, Gomez, McArthur, Boyce, Espinoza, Golobart, Scharner. Subs: Robles, Di Santo, Henriquez, Fyvie, Mustoe, Redmond, Campabadal.

Aston Villa: Guzan, Vlaar, Bent, Agbolahor, Westwood, Delph, Sylla, Weimann, Bennett, Baker, Lowton. Subs: Given, El Ahmadi, N'Zogbia, Bowery, Dawkins, Herd, Gardner.

People like lists. Not necessarily you, your second best friend since secondary school or the guy who lives across the hallway who smells of onions and something you can't quite put your finger on but which is reminiscent of the time you accidentally stood too close to a titan arum in full bloom. But people. The rich list; the shopping list; the list of Animal from the Muppet's best drum solos. Lists.

Karl Pilkington used to do a piece on the Ricky Gervais show – this was way back when they were on Xfm – called 'Do we need 'em?' in which he'd grill an animal expert over whether or not the planet could do without a particular specie. The answer was always yes and the same goes for lists. We need 'em. Oh sure, some of us flirt with anarchy and disorder as if it were the stunner you spied across the dance floor of Infernos one night after a bottle of Jack and after the rest of your friends have done the white ninja. But come sunrise we always want to wake up with order next to us on the other pillow. So in the spirit of celebrating lists, today's action from the final day of the season has been divided into two. The important games. And the rest.

The important games:

Newcastle v Arsenal

Tottenham v Sunderland

The rest:

Chelsea v Everton

Liverpool v QPR

Man City v Norwich

Southampton v Stoke

Swansea v Fulham

West Bromwich Albion v Manchester United

West Ham v Reading

Wigan v Aston Villa

And since Barry Glendenning siphoned off the important games then we are going to be getting down and dirty with the rest of them. So get your tissues ready because today's Clocko is going to be a tear-jerker that would give The Lion King a decent run for its money (don't pretend like you didn't cry at that movie) as Manchester United say toodle pip to Sir Alex Ferguson and Paul Scholes; Liverpool say ta-ra Jamie Carragher; Everton fans wipe a tear away for David Moyes and Phil Neville; Aston Villa say goodbye to Stilian Petrov and Stoke fans smile at the prospect of never having to see the name Michael Owen on their substitutes bench ever again. Should be fun, no?