Bachinger is, Google translate tells me:

die ihm etwas welly

But whatever he’s giving it isn’t enough.

Third set: Murray* 6-3, 6-3, 5-4 Bachinger

Wind takes one from Bachinger, then Murray hammers an ace wide for 30-0. Bachinger challenges one called wide, because why not, and the result is… the same. It was wide – 40-0. Bachinger charges down the middle to win the next point on second serve, but then loses the game.

Third set: Murray 6-3, 6-3, 4-4 Bachinger*

Bachinger serves to stay in the match… and gets a bad break on a Murray shot which clips the net and then sort of drops on the wind, under Bachinger’s racquet. A tennis pea-roller or daisy-cutter, in cricketing parlance. Then 0-30 on a double fault, which is ominous. Bachinger looks somewhat put-upon, and then finds the net for a triple break point.

Lots of wind… Murray nonetheless tries a lob and it’s long.

Break point two… to second serve, which isn’t good for Bachinger… but Murray finds the net with an ambitious backhand pass.

Break point three – second serve again. Barely anything on it but Murray finds the net and takes it out on his shoelaces, which get a really good re-tieing. And to advantage Bachinger as Murray finds the net. Who knew.

Then back to deuce with a dismissive forehand winner off a 122mph serve. Game head on, Andy. And to another break point with a delicate drop shot to pull Bachinger in and the backhand back for the point. Ace – deuce.

Second serve again for Bachinger… and he hits a forehand long. No challenge, which you might have expected. So another, fifth break point it is. Big serve again, 126mph, when he needs it. Murray challenges it, unsuccessfully.

Murray decides to force the issue next point and does, back to advantage for a sixth break point. Wind returns, disrupting the toss, and then another ace: 119mph down the T. Challenged again – deuce. Then a big serve skies off Murray’s racquet for advantage to the German. Goes for the biggie but misses and then Murray misses an ambitious backhand and Bachinger holds.

Third set: Murray* 6-3, 6-3, 4-3 Bachinger

Bachinger is battling well here but we should still be wrapping up soon, and we will be if Murray gets to boss any more points like that, which he wins halfway to the net with an angled forehand to the corner – the kind of shot my brother Robin used to say was cheating, because it was hit to where he wasn’t on the court.

The memories. They burn so.

Little slip from Murray on point two and an error on point three – 15-30 and there’s a half-chance. The wind playing tricks with the toss… a low, top-spin serve to cope and Bachinger spoons his response rather amusingly. Murray to the net next point and Bachinger totally fudges an attempted lob.

Murray rules the next rally and takes the game.

Third set: Murray 6-3, 6-3, 3-3 Bachinger*

Murray misses a lob first, then Bachinger goes on the front foot and wins a point of his own, but then makes an error again. Murray may be relying on such things for the set and the match, but his own errors are still happening and it’s 40-15. In response he comes forward, forcing it, and makes it to 40-30… game with an ace.

Third set: Murray 6-3, 6-3, 3-2 Bachinger*

Third set: Murray* 6-3, 6-3, 3-2 Bachinger

Murray error for 0-15 – gone long, and then 0-30 on another error. A glimpse for Bachinger… and then 0-40 as Bachinger’s athleticism pays off and Murray finds the bottom of the net.

Three break points – first saved as Bachinger misses one at the net which was worth a go.

Second break point – backhand long from baseline.

Wind is right back up now. Maybe it took that one.

Third break point – Murray plays an aggressive point and, yes, saves it.

And then a long rally in which Murray puts it up high and waits for the error and it comes and here comes a bit of a pisser for Bachinger… bad error, Germanic cussword, game lost from three break points.

Person below wins tweet of the day/night/week/year/decade/century/epoch or aeon…

Third set: Murray 6-3, 6-3, 2-2 Bachinger*

Bachinger rushes to the net, leaves one confident it’s out, and it’s in. Ain’t that just the way? He wins the next point, though, well enough, and another with a solid serve, and another. Murray then points something out to Umpire Chaough-Watson, doesn’t matter as Bachinger takes the game.

Dominic Lowndes offers a theme for Murray…

Murray is happy, you see. I’ll buy it. It's not as good as the Steffi Graf song, though.

Third set: Murray* 6-3, 6-3, 2-1 Bachinger

Double fault, Murray’s first, takes it to 15-all… is this the mini-crisis? Big-spinning ace tells me where to get off, then a big serve produces a skied return and don’t I look a bit silly. Wins the game with another big serve. The end is relatively nigh, I'd say.

Third set: Murray 6-3, 6-3, 1-1 Bachinger*

Bachinger serves and we’re into a baseline rally which becomes a rally at the net and nearly becomes an extraordinary double backhand running backwards winner for Murray, but he misses by an inch. At 30-15 he misses an attempted two-handed backhand pass down the tramlines, but then Bachinger misses a pass of his own and it’s 40-30. He makes the next forehand pass, though, very well.

Superpundit John McEnerney offers a variation the Andy Murray vs Andy Murray thing which hasn’t actually materialised this evening. It’s not actually Andy Murray who is playing Andy Murray out there but, appropriately enough in the circs, a doppelgänger.

Pete Jones emails:

Watching the open in a bar in California and ESPN won’t stay on one match for more than a rally or two. Almost makes me miss the BBC Wimbledon coverage. Relying on you for all of this bar the odd Murray service game.

Glad to be of service, old sprout.

Third set: Murray* 6-3, 6-3, 1-0 Bachinger

Bachinger has changed into a bright orange shirt and taken his cap off… which means the ball passes him for Murray’s opening ace in slightly better or brighter contrast than it would have done before. Ace again for 30-0; then out to 40-0 and the game after a rally Bachinger tried very hard not to lose but did.

I meant this:

In this scenario Murray is the gorilla, Bachinger the bloke and, I suppose, Steffi Graf the lady the bloke must rescue.

Andy Murray is having something referred to as a “nature break”. Presume that means he's off down the local patch of reclaimed scrubland to census squirrels and drink KiaOra from a plastic cup complete with floating, half-dead daddy longlegs.

Second set: Murray* 6-3, 5-3 Bachinger

Nothing much to see here on the first two points, Murray adapting to a couple of semi-unexpected returns easily enough, though on the third Bachinger gets a foothold. Big serve back into the net for 40-15… and Bachinger is long for the game.

Crumbs.

Patrick Michael Hull:

Hi Martin,Hugh Laurie’s ode to Steffi Graf is good, but when it comes to tennis tribute songs, it’s hard to beat The Tennis Song...

Second set: Murray 6-3, 4-3 Bachinger*

Bachinger wins the first point after tracking down a lob and then chasing up a drop shot, up and down the court like the chap out of Killer Gorilla, which was the BBC 32K version of Donkey Kong. Lovely overhead volley to do so and more athleticism for the second point… third point an absurd lob from Murray works perfectly. No laughter from the crowd as there was during the first point, which Murray lost. But some laughs when he tries to play about with Bachinger again on the next point – more lobs, a drop shot, the net, 40-15. Double fault brings it back to 40-30, then Bachinger wins the game.

If the gorilla had lobbed the barrels instead of dropping them. Then the comparison would work.

Second set: Murray 6-3, 4-2 Bachinger*

Second set: Murray* 6-3, 4-2 Bachinger

Murray almost seemed affronted when Bachinger got the first serve of the game back, but he ends up winning the point from the baseline and the second too, both on unenforced errors from the German that may or may not have something to do with the wind. Then 40-0 with Murray charging to the net for the put-away volley. Big serve for the game.

This may be going too far. But no-one’s emailing or tweeting, so you brought it on yourselves.

Second set: Murray 6-3, 3-2 Bachinger*

Murray stays back first up and allows Bachinger to make the error, and then on point two makes a beautiful drop shot from the baseline again. Get the impression this match is allowing Murray to practice, essentially… although that’s basically patronising to Bachinger too. Murray misses a couple for 30-all, and another on return for 40-30. Doesn’t looked too fussed by it.

Nicely won by Bachinger, forcefully on the forehand.

Second set: Murray* 6-3, 3-1 Bachinger

Decent serve for Murray first up, and the man the commentators and critics can’t stop saying “is just happy to be here”, which seems patronising to me, can’t deal with it. Same after a couple of shots in the next point and after a couple more on the third, a backhand volley proving too much to handle.

Biggish second serve, with spin, gains the game.

Changeover entertainment, apropos of nothing except that I was tormenting someone with Fry and Laurie videos earlier and I too was once in love with Steffi Graf:

Second set: Murray 6-3, 2-1 Bachinger*

Murray misses the kill at the net, finding it when under no pressure and with Bachinger quaking at the baseline, then goes wide with an attempted pass while skidding: 30-0. And then Murray returns behind his back, recovers and puts in a lobbed forehand crosscourt pass. If that’s a shot. Game Bachinger on two big serves.

Second set: Murray* 6-3, 2-0 Bachinger

Out of nowhere a 123mph serve from Murray comes back on a short-handed two-handed backhand which just whizzes by him. Simple error on the next point, though, for 15-all, before he dominates a point to go 30-15 with a smash at the net. Big point for Bachinger.

Serve into the body from Murray, ball called out on the return, Bachinger challenges… it looked good and… it wasn’t. That makes it 30-all. And then an extraordinary drop shot by Murray from the baseline, on the backhand, makes it 40-30.

Big serve and game.

Second set: Murray 6-3, 1-0 Bachinger*

This is agreeably odd: the other day I found reference to a player on the Futures circuit called Roger Moore. Today, after the earlier misquotation, I find something on tennisrecruiting.net about a player out of Fort Worth, Texas called Douglas Adams.

Anyway… we go to 15-all with Bachinger flubbing a lob and Murray putting it away, then a very nice point for Murray, controlling the entire process, moving the ball around and then coming to the net for a sliced, backhand kill. Very aesthetically pleasing. And then again… at the net, dropping it and Bachinger charging like a bull, sweating, snorting, and in vain. Two break points… the first saved with a big serve.

Second serve, so pressure: it’s too much. Break.

First set: Murray 5-3 Bachinger*

First double fault of the night from Bachinger – looked remarkably tired in flopping it into the net. But then 116mph … and then an interesting point where Murray lobs well, Bachinger gets back to return, Murray makes a right pie of the overhead volley and then gets away with it because Bachinger’s return is weak. Then a bad forehand error and we have two break points, for the first time:

Whack: 131mph down the T. Break point saved.

But then a bad forehand error again and the break.

He’s committed, Federer. I’ll give him that.

First set: Murray* 4-3 Bachinger

Murray serving reasonably well, still, his opponent unable to return; then he is able to return and Murray can only dig it into the net. Next point produces a very gentle second serve from Murray but Bachinger sticks it wide; next point he finds the net from the baseline: 40-15. Bad error again from the German.

First set: Murray 3-3 Bachinger*

Bachinger’s serve so far is big, but only big-ish – a long way down the road to the shops big rather than space big, to misquote Douglas Adams. Who I think I read somewhere played tennis. Out to 30-0, the German, proficiently. To 40-0 with another ace, then 40-15 with a pretty ordinary unforced error to the net. And then half a decent rally well won by Bachinger with both players scrambling.

Who does Roger Federer think he is?

John McEnerney provides the analysis so I don't have to…

First set: Murray* 3-2 Bachinger

Unforced error on a double-handed backhand from Murray, for 0-15, followed by another decent serve for 15-all. Early, but Murray is serving better. First de rigeur Noo Yoik yob-oik holler for Murray from the stands and it echoes. Not much atmosphere yet. Ace from Murray for 40-15, right down the T with Bachinger scrabbling… but then suddenly a lovely return winner from Bachinger from a wide serve: 40-30.

Unforced error: 3-2 Murray.

First set: Murray 2-2 Bachinger*

Murray skips forward to meet the first big serve and can’t get it back; the second point Bachinger bosses at the net for 30-0. On to second serve… quite a bit softer but he gets some bounce and Murray is off-balance for the point. Huge ace for the game.

Not many in on Arthur Ashe yet – apparently Tommy Robredo and Simone Bolleli are in something called a “caged death match” on Court 17, which is the same place the US kid Catherine Bellis is on next.

First set: Murray* 2-1 Bachinger

Murray serving down the T and quite strongly… Bachinger’s error for 30-0. Routine. And an error for 40-0 as Murray, stretching, plays a very forceful forehand to provoke the error. Game on the strong serve.

First set: Murray 1-1 Bachinger*

Time for Bachinger to show us his serve. First up 111mph… wins the point on the rally. Then he comes to the net, a la Murray, sort of, and wins the point easily. Murray takes the next point with a forehand too deep for Bachinger to deal with, which might suggest something to exploit; the next serve is big but Murray establishes a rally before missing long. Big again for the game but Bachinger finds the net after coming to it: 40-30. Next serve is pretty big and he holds.

First set: Murray* 1-0 Bachinger

Here we go. Murray to serve… an ace. 15-0; then Murray finds the net in an otherwise unremarkable rally; and does so again in another one: 15-30. Wins another point off a big serve; 30-all. Signs of Murray considering coming to the net; also signs of better service than last time out: 40-30.

Game Murray after an unforced error from Bachinger.

Nearly there now.

Blom looks less like Ted Chaough than Martin Freeman as Dr Watson, with a beard. This observation to evolve.

Wind has dropped, we’re told. So.

More warm-up. The weird thing from Diamonds are Forever was this line:

Six corpses to love. Game and set.

Huh.

That from Ian Fleming’s James Bond: Annotations and Chronologies for Ian Fleming’s Bond Stories (New Edition), by John Griswold.

Warm-up time, both players in dark-grey-black… Murray in the “graphite” number he gave up on late in the game against Haase.

Such richly textured extraneous detail brought to you in the finest tradition of British sports commentary:

Roger Federer loves “James Bond and Lenny Kravitz”, says the Mail. He watched three Bond films during Wimbledon 2012, apparently. No news of which. I’m betting it was Octopussy, for the oft-remarked, even canonical Vijay Amritraj cameo; Diamonds are Forever for this, which is weird; and …

…

A View to a Kill. Just because.

John Blom is our umpire – from Australia. To me he looks a bit like Ted Chaough out of Mad Men. Murray won the toss… but I couldn’t hear his choice.

They’re on their way out, at last. Apparently they played each other as 14-year-olds, and Bachinger won. Murray says he doesn't remember it; Bachinger says he does.

They're taking their time, so should you want to immerse yourself in one of them “second screen” experiences, my Australia-based colleague Russell Jackson is currently live-blogging Nick Kyrgios versus Andreas Seppi.

Sample quote:

‘There’s a little bit of the Jason Stoltenberg’s about Seppi, isn’t there?’ asks Wally Masur. Take that as you will but Seppi holds serve.

The players will shortly be on their way out on to Arthur Ashe. The weather is nice, as noted – it is also a bit blowy, as Kevin noted in his report on Serena Williams’ 6-1, 6-0 win over Vania King earlier today.

Kevin has also written up easy wins for Novak Djokovic and Jo-Wilfied Tsonga. They are both in Murray’s quarter of the draw.

Of the conditions on court, Djokovic he say:

It was very windy but I managed to adjust to the conditions which were not easy for me or my opponent, and to stay solid.

New Kevin Mitchell blog… just up on theguardian.com:

It is hardly outlandish to speculate after four days of the 2014 US Open that the champions left standing at the end of two weeks could be Roger Federer and Serena Williams, born within six weeks of each other 33 years ago.

I haven’t done any Bond yet, so here’s some from Devil May Care, the Sebastian Faulks-as-Ian-Fleming thing. I read it trying to picture Sir Roger in the role, which should’ve been easy given the Great Man’s oft-professed love for the game, but wasn’t. That might’ve been because Faulks, unlike Fleming, distracts you with things like brief flashes of literary talent. The cad.

Anyway:

Trying to put out of his mind what he had seen of Gorner’s hair-covered wrist, Bond walked back to serve. One’s first service game is always important in setting the tone for a match. Bond, who had a strong first service, decided to throttle back a little and concentrate on accuracy. He pushed Gorner wide on both sides, but whenever he came in for the volley found himself adroitly lobbed. At 30–40 down, he twice served into the top of the net and saw the ball rebound onto his own side. Double fault: a craven way to lose one’s service.

Advice for Murray after Monday’s double-fault-riddled outing? Ignore Bachinger’s (possibly) hair-covered wrist (if not his full-on monkey’s paw), throttle back and concentrate on accuracy.

Possibly.

I haven’t read the William Boyd one yet. Any good? Or, perhaps, any not as bad as it could’ve been?

Murray vs Murray – like Kramer vs Kramer only worse, sometimes.

You can of course email me through the game, at martin.pengelly@theguardian.com, or send thoughts via Twitter to @MartinPengelly. To illustrate the possible consequences of this, here’s the rest of Tom’s email requesting that Murray vs Murray line:

Simon Barnes was fond of using it about a variety of players – most often Goran Ivanisevic – but he’s gone from the [London]* Times.

Ah, Simon Barnes. Silver-penned fifth-greatest Barnes in British sports**, behind, in descending order and off the top of my head, Stuart, David, John and Giles. Maybe sixth for Mancunians, behind Peter.

*Square brackets necessary. Here.

**“s” necessary. Here.

A fellow British journalist here in New York, Tom Teodorczuk, has requested that I use a certain cliché at least once tonight. So here, at least with a version of it, goes:

Andy Murray tonight faces his most dangerous opponent: Andy Murray.

Tom went to Durham in the late 1990s, like I did, and wrote for the student paper, Palatinate, like I did. He didn’t play rugby with Andrew Strauss, like I did – very briefly – but you can’t have everything.

Scoring explained:

First set: Murray* 0-0 Bachinger

The asterisk denotes who is serving in the game described. The blog is game-by-game, unless the action goes to a tiebreak or gets unbearably exciting – then I go point-by-point and end up typing so quickly and in such short sentences, and indeed so repetitively, that I end up sounding like David Peace doing Bill Shankly and Brian Clough hunting the Yorkshire Ripper during the Miners’ Strike in Tokyo. Or wishing I did.

Early reader interaction…