Right, that’s it from me. Thanks for your company. Stick around on site for all the reports and reaction. Cheerio!

And here’s MS Dhoni: “Our performances have been getting better … this was a perfect game again. It was a good toss to win … the wicket got better as the game progressed.”

A post-match chat

Here’s Alastair Cook talking to Sky’s Nick Knight: “We’ve played some bad cricket. I don’t quite now why … we’ve got to find the reason. The most frustrating thing is when you don’t play to your potential … there are no excuses.”

He then used the word “upskill” at which point my brain melted.

30th over: India 200-1 (Kohli 1, Dhawan 85) England have avoided a first ever 10-wicket ODI defeat on home soil. Which, you know, is nice. Woakes comes in once more and Dhawan flails him over wide mid on for four, then goes squarer for the same result. Then … SIX! Dhawan is having a ball out there and dumps the hapless Woakes over the rope. A single off the last makes it 17 off the over and takes India to 200. Only seven more needed.

29th over: India 183-1 (Kohli 0, Dhawan 69) Celebrations after that wicket were, shall we say, a touch muted. Rahane walks off to a thoroughly deserved standing ovation.

28th over: India 177-0 (Rahane 101, Dhawan 68) A century for Ajinkya Rahane! It took a slightly frantic second run after a tickle to fine leg but he made it. And what a magnificent innings it has been, an instruction manual of a one-day innings. A clear one too, full of colourful pictures and really big letters. England take note. Please, for the love of whichever deity you prefer, take note.

27th over: India 172-0 (Rahane 97, Dhawan 67) Will Smith’s Getting Jiggy With It blares out from the Edgbaston speakers. Just Cruisin’ might have been a better option. Or Just The Two Of Us, in honour of this opening pair. It’s just a shame he didn’t release a single entitled Dismal Shambles. Gurney returns, no balls, and is then belted into the terraces at deep midwicket by Dhawan from the free hit. My word he gave that the full beans. From the last he rubs in the salt, tip-toeing to off and then crouch-flipping a shovel-ramp (or something along those lines at least) to fine leg for four more. Just 35 more required.

26th over: India 156-0 (Rahane 93, Dhawan 56) Woakes (1-0-12-0) returns and he does Rahane with a slower ball. Lovely bowling. And this is lovely batting, Rahane rocking back and pancake-flipping a short one down to fine third man for four. This is now the India opener’s highest score in ODIs.

25th over: India 150-0 (Rahane 88, Dhawan 55) Brilliant running allows Rahane to pick up two for a gentle dab to fine leg off Finn. Next up he eyes a smash down the ground but, with the ball tight to his body, he aborts and plays defensively. That’s good cricket. And so is this – given a bit more width from the next he baseball-bats straight for four. And is this a chance? Is this a chance? Um, no. Rahane top-edges a pull but it drops safe three-quarters of the way to cow corner. Ten off the over and the 150 up.

24th over: India 140-0 (Rahane 78, Dhawan 55) Sourav Ganguly on Sky Sports has just opined that this series is a whole is about as bad as he’s ever seen an England ODI side. Sounds about right. Four off Ali’s latest.

23rd over: India 136-0 (Rahane 76, Dhawan 53) Finn returns as England look for something, anything, to convert this from Embarrassing Thrashing to Embarrassing Thrashing But With A Minor Fightback. He beats Dhawan’s outside edge and restricts the batsmen to a couple of singles.

22nd over: India 134-0 (Rahane 74, Dhawan 52) Rahane lofts Ali back over his head for yet another six. England have not bowled all that badly, to be fair, but this opening pair have been quite brilliant.

21st over: India 127-0 (Rahane 68, Dhawan 52) Dhawan gives Anderson the charge and picks up a couple thanks to a skew through midwicket. That persuades Buttler to come up to the stumps. Which in turn leads to Anderson bowling a little too straight. Which gives Dhawan the opportunity to bring up his 50 with an absolutely thunderous straight crunch for six. That was a mighty blow.

India require 80 more from 174 balls. So, you know.

20th over: India 116-0 (Rahane 66, Dhawan 43) Dhawan joins the party, shovelling Ali over the top of mid on for four. Fine shot, though he was looking for six I think. Michael Holding gives us a handy stat: this pair have now hit 17 boundaries in this partnership, which is one more than England mustered in their entire innings.

19th over: India 110-0 (Rahane 65, Dhawan 38) England look a pretty bunch out there at the moment, and who can blame them? Anderson continues and Rahane, off the leash having made 50 for the first time in the series following a couple of dismissals in the 40s, gives it a bit of the old long handle, skipping down the track and clubbing Anderson brutally over the top of wide long on for six more.

“Quadrilogies where the fourth spoils it all a little bit,” begins Stephen Brown. “Indiana Jones surely fits the bill?” Well, nearly. The first may be a glorious straight six over long on and the third a loveable slog for six more over midwicket, but the second is an edge that bobbles through the slip cordon surely?

18th over: India 101-0 (Rahane 58, Dhawan 36) Shot! Rahane brings up a very fine half century from his 60th ball with a huge slog-sweep off Moeen Ali for six. He follows that up with the merest of leg-glances for four more. A single then brings up the India 100.

“Am I the only England fan for whom an early finish is good news?” writes Nick Drew. “My son’s nursery is next door to Edgbaston, so the crowd and the traffic should have cleared out by pick-up time if India carry on at this rate. Every cloud etc and so on.” Well, as I mentioned earlier, I have a date with a barge. Speaking of which, that’s drinks.

17th over: India 89-0 (Rahane 46, Dhawan 35) It suddenly strikes me that England have not even had an appeal yet, optimistic or otherwise. Anderson returns. Just a single off the over, which is good. But England were 44-3 at this stage of their innings, which is bad.

News is coming through that Ian Bell has a small fracture on his left big toe. It ruled him out today, but it can’t be too bad as word is that he has a chance for the Headingley ODI on Friday.

16th over: India 88-0 (Rahane 46, Dhawan 35) Moeen Ali’s battle with this pair is a fascinating one – they’re hell-bent on disrupting his rhythm and knocking him out of his stride, but he has matched their mischief. Again the spinner gets charged a few times, again he adjusts smartly. Four from the over.

15th over: India 84-0 (Rahane 44, Dhawan 33) Finn again. Singles again … until the final ball, which gets the full-fat treatment from Rahane, who steps forward into a short ball and cracks it into the stands at cow corner for six. He might just’ve middled that.

14th over: India 75-0 (Rahane 37, Dhawan 32) Both batsmen are looking to use their feet to Ali, but he keeps spotting them and adjusting his length nicely. As a result, they’re reduced to milking a few singles.

13th over: India 70-0 (Rahane 34, Dhawan 30) Finn continues. Dhawan produces another Sergeant-Major’s-spine straight block-drive for four. A fine diving stop in the covers from Ali prevents another boundary of the last, but there’s only one team in this game at the moment.

12th over: India 65-0 (Rahane 33, Dhawan 26) This should be interesting – Moeen Ali enters the attack. He’s proved his use with the bat, but he’s got a big job on his hands here, filling the shoes of England’s Mr Reliable James Tredwell. To be honest, there should really be room in the side for both, but hey ho, it’s just Moeen today. A tickle off Rahane’s pad brings three leg byes and there are a couple of singles too.

11th over: India 60-0 (Rahane 32, Dhawan 25) A better over from Finn, who troubles both batsmen a little with his pace and bounce. Still, England leak three runs from it, two of them leg byes.

10th over: India 57-0 (Rahane 31, Dhawan 25) Chris Woakes, who has had a half-decent series with the ball, replaces Gurney. He first serves up a leg-stump half-volley, with a side-salad and choice of rice, jacket potato or chips, which Dhawan tucks into, thrashing a pull over the man at square leg for four. The next course is wide of off stump, and munched almost lazily away for four more. A decent comeback from Woakes, though, tucking Dhawan up with a couple, before another leg-side delivery disappears to cow corner for four more. Twelve from the over.

9th over: India 45-0 (Rahane 31, Dhawan 13) Finn charges in once more. He sends down four dots, then drags one a touch short and Rahane flails him – a little uppishly – past a diving Moeen Ali at midwicket for another boundary. This pair look pretty damn relaxed just now.

8th over: India 41-0 (Rahane 27, Dhawan 13) Gurney over-pitches to Dhawan, perhaps looking for the yorker, and gets jabbed past mid off for four for his troubles. A drop-and-run from Rahane adds another single and, equally usefully, it’s just the sort of run that makes the fielding side feel flat.

“Dear John, if we’re going to start using the Alien series as an analogy for today’s play, might I suggest that the following will come in useful in, oh, let’s say 33 overs from now,” writes Josh Nail. 33 overs? That’s optimistic.

(Warning: there are Bad Words).

7th over: India 35-0 (Rahane 26, Dhawan 8) Steven Finn replaces Anderson after that chastening fifth over. Rahane welcomes him with the shot of the innings so far, an effortless on drive played with a bat so ramrod-straight it could be in the marines.

6th over: India 28-0 (Rahane 21, Dhawan 6) Harry Gurney’s turn to feel the full force of the India openers – Dhawan this time flicking a leggish delivery away for four more. Rahane mis-times a straight club off the last but still picks up a couple.

“ “It’s the quality of the drink, food/snacks, bar staff and other other patrons that matter, not what the pub used to be,” writes John Starbuck sagely of our barge dilemma. “I’ve had good times in pubs that used to be banks, which is saying something. Equally, places which have been pubs for centuries can be ruined by the management.”

5th over: India 20-0 (Rahane 19, Dhawan 1) Back-to-back boundaries for Rahane, who scoops over midwicket as Anderson drops a shade short, then whips squarer as the bowler’s line slips to leg. And he completes a trilogy that might not be up there with Toy Story or the Lord of the Rings, but is certainly Jurassic Park-standard with a beautiful push through the covers for four more. He then ruins that analogy by caressing Anderson wide of midwicket for a gentle rolling four at cow corner. The only quadrilogy I can think of is the Alien series, which doesn’t really fit.

4th over: India 4-0 (Rahane 3, Dhawan 1) Rahane is being consistently troubled by Gurney’s left-arm-over-and-drifting-across line. Five more dots then a tickle off his hip for another single. This has been an Englandesque start from India, but the opening bowlers have been excellent thus far.

3rd over: India 3-0 (Rahane 2, Dhawan 1) Anderson, finding a lovely length,m sends down a tight maiden at Dhawan . He has one from nine, Rahane two from nine.

Let’s cheer ourselves up with a straw poll: what do we think of novelty pubs? For or agin? I’m meeting an old friend on a converted barge this evening and I’m dubious. Very dubious. All opinions welcomed.

2nd over: India 3-0 (Rahane 2, Dhawan 1) Scissor Sisters’ hit I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’ blares out from the Edgbaston Tannoy, neatly summing up the mood of the England fans in the ground. Harry Gurney takes the other new ball and Rahane has a big wild waft outside off, connecting only with Birmingham air. A squirty one through the gully region adds a second single to the tall, and Dhawan dabs into the off for a third. The last ball of the over is a cracker, drifting across Rahane, straightening him up and missing the outside edge by a whisker.

1st over: India 1-0 (Rahane 1, Dhawan 0) Rahane, in his usual ODI opener role rather than his occasional middle-order slot, cuts Anderson’s fifth ball for a single to get himself and India off the mark.

Out come the players. This should be a cakewalk for India. England need to take early wickets. And to restrict the run rate. One or t’other won’t be enough.

“My boss, pleased that I gave him updates on the Test series that let him to spend time with his daughter unencumbered by thoughts of Dhoni and Co, has allowed me to come in to work late if I watched some of the ODI,” writes Alex Glockner of the United States. “Of course, that means I’ll have to work for two this afternoon while he keeps track of the innings, but it’s part of a fair trade.

“Anyway, not pretending to grasp this sport, I wonder - why doesn’t the ECB simply treat Tests and ODIs as two different sports using the same equipment? With two different Peter Moores types (the role, not the man - I have no opinion there) directing them?”

It’s a point that is increasingly being made, although more with the playing staff than the coaching staff. The one-day team is still seen as a route into the Test team and vice versa, but why when the one-day game has now evolved to a point where it is utterly distinct from the five-day version?

Hello everyone. The wrong XI? Playing the wrong style of ODI cricket? Too many players out of form? Too many heads scrambled? Check. Check. Check. Check. On the bright side, the England bowling attack is getting plenty of practice at defending low totals, which looks like it’s going to come in handy at the World Cup.

49th over: England 206-9 (Anderson 1, Gurney 3)

The penultimate over goes for three singles and ends with Anderson missing with a sweep, but the lbw appeal being rebuffed because the ball hit a glove.

48th over: England 203-9 (Anderson 0, Gurney 1)

Anderson is roundly booed as he prepares to face his first and only Jadeja delivery of the day, but he survives it.

47.3 overs further update: The India team have stopped playing with Sellotape, and are now running around carrying helmets.

47.3 overs update: There’s a long delay after Gurney comes to the middle, because the India team are playing with some Sellotape, or something.

47th over: England 202-8 (Finn 2, Anderson 0)

Had Ali connected with that big swing the ball would have flown over the boundary and England would still have been dreaming of magically conjuring a competitive total from what has been, at the very best, half a dog’s dinner of an innings. But he didn’t, and now England have Finn and Anderson at the crease with three overs to go.

46th over: England 199-7 (Ali 66, Finn 2)

England need every run they can get, which may be why they’re taking some very questionable ones. A short ball from Shami is fended off by Finn and drops a couple of yards away, and Ali is at the other end before Finn recovers enough composure to realise he should be running anywhere. Shami collects the ball, spins and has a free throw at the stumps, but misses by a mile. He could have taken a bit more time over that, really. Five singles and a dot ball, and the big 2-0-0 is just around the corner. Well, big-ish.

45th over: England 194-7 (Ali 63, Finn 0)

Ashwin returns now, and his first ball is clobbered away for four by Ali. A couple of deliveries later he’s presented with a caught-and-bowled chance by Woakes, dives, and drops. A single off the next ball took Woakes away from danger – or so he thought …

44th over: England 188-6 (Ali 58, Woakes 9)

Ali slightly mistimes his one big shot in Jadeja’s ninth over, and miscues it harmlessly to square leg for a single, one of five in the over.

43rd over: England 183-6 (Ali 55, Woakes 7)

Raina bowls, and Moeen Ali wheels out another thundercracker! This time he takes half a step back and launches the ball over cover for six. This is super stuff from Ali, who’s only playing because Bell hurt his toe in training this morning.

42nd over: England 172-6 (Ali 47, Woakes 4)

Three singles and a two, and it looks very much like England will reach 200 runs. This won’t be enough, of course, but 230 might, possibly, be vaguely competitive. They need 7.25 an over to get there.

41st over: England 167-6 (Ali 45, Woakes 1)

Raina returns, and it’s back to the diet of singles. Not many of them, either. Three, to be absolutely precise. From the final delivery, Ali overtakes Root’s 44 and now boasts England’s most productive innings of the series.

40th over: England 164-6 (Ali 43, Woakes 0)

Ali, who is playing a different game on a different pitch to every other Englishmen, slams Shami’s first delivery through midwicket for four. Then, a single later, the wicket. “I think England need to go back to split management for Test and one day cricket,” writes Ian. “If they had in this series it’s inconceivable that Cook would captain the team and Ravi dropped. It’s human nature that Moores is going to be loyal (overly so) to the Test players that delivered for him but the games are drifting even further apart in regards to the type of play needed and therefore players. James Taylor, Bopara, Roy, Patel, Vince – all may have played in this series if your job depended upon the outcome.”

39th over: England 159-5 (Buttler 11, Ali 38)

A six! Another massive Ali six! This one is sent down the ground, way up in Birmingham’s clear blue sky. Are we totally sure that Buttler isn’t wearing Ali’s face, and Ali Buttler’s, in some hideous Face/Off-style cricketing experiment?

38th over: England 150-5 (Buttler 10, Ali 30)

Is Ali the first batsman in this innings to have at any stage been scoring at more than a run a ball? Quite possibly, and the nine runs off this over include another boundary, swept past square by Ali, who has already scored 20% of England’s total, from 10% of the deliveries.

37th over: England 141-5 (Buttler 9, Ali 23)

A six! England’s second of the entire series! The fifth delivery of Ashwin’s over is pulled way over square leg by Ali for an emphatically sixish six!

36th over: England 132-5 (Buttler 8, Ali 15)

A boundary! And a very nice one it was too! The powerplay is called, Kulkarni returns to the bowling attack and Moeen Ali welcomes him with a delicious cover drive that positively flies to the rope. And he’s very close indeed to four more off the next. “Calling Root’s shot ‘so-clever-it’s-stupid is a waste of 15 key strokes,” sniffs Felix Wood. “There was no need for it. He needed to dig in and play the anchor but was unable to get out of accelerate mode. We can be kind and say he’s not got the one day experience to shift mind-sets so quickly, but there was nothing remotely clever about the way he got out.”

35th over: England 123-5 (Buttler 7, Ali 7)

Rain bowls, and England get three singles and a two. There have been 68 legal deliveries since the last boundary.

34th over: England 118-5 (Buttler 6, Ali 3)

England are on course for a total of 173 and a half, and that’s if they make it through the remaining 16 overs. Root’s 44, it’s probably worth noting, is England’s best score of the series.

33rd over: England 115-5 (Buttler 5, Ali 1)

So England must rebuild again. Morgan and Root settled an innings that was falling apart, but then both got out hitting so-clever-they’re-stupid shots straight to fielders.

32nd over: England 112-4 (Root 43, Buttler 4)

Four more singles. There has been one boundary in the last 13 overs – Root last hit one in over No13.

31st over: England 108-4 (Root 41, Buttler 2)

Four singles off Jadeja’s over. Root’s had an excellent innings, having arrived with England in an extremely salty situation, and is perhaps the great success of England’s just-pick-the-Test-team selection policy.

30th over: England 103-4 (Root 39, Buttler 0)

Ashwin returns, and there’s a Root single to square leg and not much else to report. Morgan’s dismissal seems to have done for England’s acceleration.

29th over: England 103-4 (Root 38, Buttler 0)

A run for England, and a wicket for Jadeja. It’s a poor dismissal for Morgan, who must have known that there was a leg slip in place but still rather deliberately worked the ball straight into his midriff. Bah.

28th over: England 102-3 (Root 37, Morgan 33)

Raina’s over starts, helpfully, with a wide and a couple of bonus runs. There follows a couple of dot balls, but also three singles and a two, as England keep the scoreboard-operators (and OBO manual score-updaters) busy).

27th over: England 95-3 (Root 33, Morgan 32)

And Jadeja’s fourth also goes for four runs, all singles. “My theory on England & India test & ODI performance: Indian bowling is optimised for ODI,try to hit them and you can get out,” writes Rohit. “However in tests, they may lack the ability to force the issue if batsmen apply themselves. The batting is opposite, they can dominate the bowling and take chances in ODI, however that is dangerous in the face of good bowling in tests. English bowling and batting seem to be opposite.”

26th over: England 91-3 (Root 31, Morgan 30)

Raina’s first over goes for four runs, all singles.

25th over: England 87-3 (Root 29, Morgan 28)

Four more runs and a wide off Jadeja’s third over of the day. These overs are flashing past at the moment in a whir of just-about-adequacy.

24th over: England 82-3 (Root 28, Morgan 24)

That’s a seven-run over, with Morgan starting to wheel out some fine strokes, the highlight being a push through the covers for four. After the next few overs he’ll either be celebrating a half-century or enjoying a cuppa in the dressing-room.

23rd over: England 75-3 (Root 27, Morgan 19)

And then three singles off Jadeja’s second over. Nearly half-way through the innings and England’s ship is no longer listing ludicrously, though neither is it travelling very quickly.

22nd over: England 72-3 (Root 25, Morgan 18)

With a 10 followed by a four, a five and a four, the last four overs have comprised England’s most profitable spell by a comfortably margin. Four singles off Ashwin’s latest.

21st over: England 68-3 (Root 23, Morgan 16)

Jadeja bowls for the first time, and there’s a massive lbw appeal from his first delivery, which it turns out would have been an inch or so high, as Tim Robinson clearly could tell. Five runs off the over, and here’s a little gift for you all – an alphabetically-themed Spin! It starts like this:

I blame Mike Selvey. It must have seemed such an innocuous remark at the time, just one line among many in an idle piece about his all-time England Ashes XI. But for some reason it caught in my mind like a burr on a coat, and has been stuck fast ever since, too deeply entwined to be dislodged. “It is a game all cricket followers have played at sometime or other: pick an XI,” he wrote. “When I was a kid, it would be England to play Mars … I’ve done teams whose names begin with the same letter, or have the same number of letters, and not so long ago I compiled for a website an all-time team of those who played the game left-handed …”

By the time he got to the punchline at the end of the paragraph, (“In the responses to that I was quizzed by one person as to why Sachin Tendulkar was not in “because had he been left-handed he would have been the greatest left-hander of them all”) he had lost me. My thoughts were already elsewhere. “Teams whose names begin with the same letter”. All English, and all internationals. Test players, in fact, just to make it more difficult. Amiss, Atherton. And I was under way. Abel, Afzaal. And while my eyes sped on, skimming through Selve’s words, the back of my brain was occupied elsewhere. Adams, Ali. My inner monologue has been running on ever since.

More here!

20th over: England 63-3 (Root 20, Morgan 14)

Joe Root takes a slow single to long on and becomes the first Englishman to reach 20 runs, in the 20th over. It’s not much of a boast, but it’s something.

19th over: England 59-3 (Root 19, Morgan 13)

Morgan locates the accelerator pedal! Shami bowls, and the batsman faces a couple of deliveries – one of them a wide – before, having scored four from 26 deliveries, he doubles his tally with a nice push through midwicket, and then goes through cover for another boundary, which Rayadu only just fails to cut off at the rope.

18th over: England 49-3 (Root 19, Morgan 4)

Spin! Ashwin is handed the ball, and wouldn’t it be infuriatingly contrary if England thrived against spin today having been so hapless against the seamers? Though there’s little sign of that here, even if Morgan does get a single.

17th over: England 48-3 (Root 19, Morgan 3)

Some sharp running (and fielding) there, with Root hitting the first delivery to third man, whose return throw is deflected by Dhoni into the stumps with Root stretching but safely home. Root takes another, considerably more comfortable, two a little later, and then at the over’s end he – and everyone else – takes a drink.

16th over: England 44-3 (Root 15, Morgan 3)

Kulkarni’s fifth over, and Morgan is trying to mix things up – coming forward, staying back, playing defensively, going for big shots. He is not, though, scoring any runs. England are on course for 137.

15th over: England 41-3 (Root 12, Morgan 3)

Kumar continues, his eighth over, and it starts with Root scoring a couple to mid-on and then a very sharp single, and ends with four more dot balls.

Yes – particularly if there’s a home series on at the time.

14th over: England 38-3 (Root 9, Morgan 3)

Morgan runs down the pitch a couple of times, on one occasion flicking the ball away for a couple, and on the other scaring Kulkarni, who bowls a wide in response. Morgan has a frankly Cookesque three runs from 17 balls faced.

13th over: England 35-3 (Root 9, Morgan 1)

It’s good to see the batsmen engage in congratulatory fist-bumps even when the boundary they are celebrating was a clumsy edge that bounced between the slips. As with Kumar’s previous over, it starts with a boundary and ends with five dot balls – Dhoni said this pitch was a bit sticky, and it seems to have the batsmen’s feet well and truly stuck.

12th over: England 31-3 (Root 5, Morgan 1)

Kulkarni returns, and there are singles off the first two deliveries, then a couple of dots followed by one angled across Morgan that dang nearly catches the edge.

11th over: England 29-3 (Root 4, Morgan 0)

Kumar concedes his first boundary of the day – indeed, more runs came off the first delivery of his sixth over than the 30 that preceded it in his first five – as Root pushes the ball down the ground, a matter of timing rather than power. And that’s the end of the scoring, with Root scratching around uncomfortably for the remainder.

10th over: England 25-3 (Root 0, Morgan 0)

After 14 successive dot balls, England get a couple of leg byes. And that’s the extent of their scoring for this over. The runs from each over so far: 0-6-0-9-1-1-2-4-0-2.

9th over: England 23-3 (Root 0, Morgan 0)

I can only assume that England are engaged in a brilliant campaign of subterfuge ahead of the World Cup, which will see them convince the world of their total haplessness only to send out a new-look side in the tournament itself and take it by storm. That’s another maiden from Kumar, and England are now on track to finish their allocated overs on 128 runs, with 17 wickets down.

8th over: England 23-3 (Root 0, Morgan 0)

A boundary! Shami’s first delivery is driven straight by Ballance for a quite handsome four. After half the over, Shami switches to go round the wicket, and the wicket results. “At this rate,” corrects Antony Stones, “England will be all out in the 25^th over!” Fair point.

7th over: England 19-2 (Ballance 3, Root 0)

Kumar continues unchanged, and Ballance eventually flicks a ball off his thigh pad for a single. There’s also a wide. “Re the mystery of Ravi Bopara’s non-selected for this England squad, is it too much to hope that he’s being lined up to take over the ODI captaincy, and was omitted so he can start untainted by the shambles of this series?” wonders Smylers. Ummm, yes, it probably is.

6th over: England 17-2 (Ballance 2, Root 0)

Mohammed Shami comes into the bowling, and England score one solitary run, a slightly panicked single off the last. This innings is 12% over, and at this rate England will get 142.

5th over: England 16-2 (Ballance 1, Root 0)

So that’s quite good then, for India. Kumar’s three overs so far have brought two wickets and a single run, all of that action coming in the latest. I’ve not seen any of the other games in this series for reasons detailed below, but that was a hapless innings from the England captain even in the context of his recent Test travails.

4th over: England 15-0 (Cook 9, Hales 6)

So Hales has six at a run a ball, and Cook has one run from 15 deliveries before he flashes his bat and top-edges over the slip cordon and away for four, and then a couple of deliveries later creams one past point for a much more impressive second boundary of the over. That’s pretty much the first occasion this morning that he’s hit the ball cleanly.

3rd over: England 6-0 (Cook 1, Hales 5)

Kumar bowls another over at Cook, who would have scored some runs this time were it not for some brilliant fielding by, I think, Raina at midwicket, whose diving, boundary-saving catch is celebrated only marginally less exuberantly than it would have been had the ball not bounced first. Anyway, he didn’t score any runs. Another maiden.

2nd over: England 6-0 (Cook 1, Hales 5)

Cook having spent six deliveries wondering whether to try to score runs and deciding in the end not to bother, Hales kind of had to get something from India’s debutant, Dhawal Kulkarni – and his debut delivery duly disappears through the covers for four. Shortly after, he inside-edges just past the stumps and gets away with it – just. “Who or what is Gurney?” wonders Ian Copestake. “Is he there to pull faces?” Don’t be silly – though I think if and when the cricket career comes to an end he’d probably be quite good at carrying injured people around hospitals.

1st over: England 0-0 (Cook 0, Hales 0)

Kumar bowls the day’s first over, and it’s a maiden. “They’ve dropped Tredwell? They’ve dropped Tredwell? What the actual hell?” writes a boggle-eyed Andy Bradshaw. “I mean bring in Ali sure, but we need more spinners, not less. This utter lunacy in a series of acts of lunacy, starting with Cook being in the side & ending in his brainless, cowardly, insipid, deaf to any suggestion other than what he wants to hear captaincy. I mean for goodness sake. To quote General Melchett who Cook is becoming more like at every turn with his total Pig-Headed unwillingness to look facts in the face will see us through attitude. At least us batting first will make the day short.” Here, for completeness, is the India team in full:

The players are already out (I say already, they’re due to start in 70 seconds). Action is imminent.

If you’ve been trying to send emails to the address at the top of this page, it’s not mine (or wasn’t, until a moment ago) – I’m on simon.burnton@theguardian.com, if you’d be so kind.

This looks promising. Skies look brilliant blue over Birmingham at the moment, and we seem to have an uninterrupted day of cricket to look forward to:

“India have the bit between their teeth in this series & I doubt they’ll let up today,” writes John McEnerney. “England need some big performances from their big players somehow I can’t see it happening. India to romp it!” This does indeed seem to be the prevailing opinion.

Here’s confirmation of the England team:

Hello world!

So I’ve just got back from a family holiday in a remote part of the world that for all its fine beaches and promise of outdoor fun lacks a mobile phone network to speak of, certainly offers absolutely no prospect of roaming data access, with just occasional, glorious glimpses of wifi to succour the 21st-century traveller. I was left with no source of information on this series but newspapers – actual ones, made of paper and bought from shops. It was like a step back in time. Still, Norfolk’s a fun place and I’m sure I’ll be back. And as a bonus I have been able to keep myself almost entirely ignorant of England’s travails in these ODIs.

Anyway, on to today. India have won the toss, and will bowl first. “It looks like a good wicket,” says MS Dhoni. “It looks a bit sticky when you walk on it, it may offer something to the fast bowlers. It looks like a good whacking wicket. We’ll have to see what pace the spinners will have to bowl to get a bit of turn.” Kulkarni comes in for India.

Alastair Cook says “we would have batted”. “Obviously India want to chase at the moment so we knew what was coming.” Bell is injured, and Tredwell and Stokes are dropped, while in comes Gary Ballance, Moeen Ali and Harry Gurney come in. “It looks a really good wicket to build a total. The wicket here can get slower and lower but you have to get a good score on the board to do it.”

Simon will be here shortly. In the meantime have a read of how Vic Marks thinks England should approach the match:

It is not much consolation for England to learn that they are now taking on the No1 one-day side in the world. The latest calculation from the ICC takes into account Zimbabwe’s defeat of Australia as well as India’s victories here. So India are top while England are loitering at No5. This is not encouraging.

The pattern for English ODI teams in recent years is that they win more than they lose when playing at home in familiar conditions, in which their seam bowlers can trouble visiting batsmen. Away from home on browner surfaces they tend to lose more than they win, which does not bode too well for the seven-match series awaiting the side in Sri Lanka in November and December.

There will be spinners in Sri Lanka eager to torment callow English batsmen, just as the Indians did at Trent Bridge on Saturday. The Indian quartet did not immediately demand comparison with Bedi, Prasanna, Chandrasekhar and Venkataraghavan of the 70s, but they decided the outcome of the game all too easily.

Read the full article here.