Adam Ramsay-Peaty has never been someone to mask his feelings. But defeat has never sounded as emotional or as raw as this. There were tears. Frustrations. Questions about why he kept putting himself through the 5.30am starts at the age of 31.
And then came the crescendo in the form of a blistering attack on his critics on social media and the media. “You can’t hurt me,” he said, before telling them to “do better”. It was dramatic. It was powerful. And it was certainly heartfelt.
This wasn’t the piece we came to the Tollcross Swimming Centre to write. But then came a performance that no one – Ramsay-Peaty included - expected. He had believed he was in shape for gold after working hard in a heavy training block. Instead, at his best event, the 100m breaststroke, he had to settle for a bronze medal behind the Australian Sam Williamson and Jersey’s 18-year-old wunderkind Filip Nowicki.
“I’m not crying because it’s a bronze instead of a gold,” Ramsay-Peaty insisted. “I’m crying because I know that the swim could have been better, and I know I worked way better than that. Something isn’t hitting right. Whether it’s the pace, whether it’s the focus, I’m not sure. I feel like I couldn’t have really put more in.
“And that’s where it hurts. I’m like: what’s the point of all the 5.30am starts? What’s the point of being exhausted all the time? What’s the point of having to say no to family events because you’re training?”
Initially it seemed to be business as usual. Ramsay-Peaty arrived blowing kisses to the crowd. He then kept his rivals waiting as he took his pool coat off. Up to now this was classic Ramsay-Peaty. But when he launched into the pool, everything was off.
At his best, the greatest breaststroke sprinter in history is able to power out of the blocks, establish a supreme dominance before the turn, and easily hold off any fast finishers. But he was in a fight from the start, and was only third at halfway.
He scraped to the end, like all good fighters. But he was unable to catch Williamson, who won in 59.37 sec, or Nowicki, who glided into second 0.17 back. In fact, Ramsay-Peaty’s finishing time of 59.65 was nearly three seconds off his world record.
After he collected his medal he kissed his wife, Holly, whose baby is due in December, on the belly. That recollection at least brought a smile. “She’s always going to be proud of me,” he said. “And as a father, it doesn’t matter if you come home with gold. As long as you come home with a teddy. That’s really what matters.
“But I’m never going to be afraid to show weakness, because it’s so important for making stronger people, making stronger men, stronger fathers, husbands,” he added. “And it’s a realisation of how much I do work. This cycle especially, I’m like: ‘Shit, how have I worked this hard at this age?’ And then you get a result like that, I’m like: ‘I’m better than that.’
“And I can’t really put in where it went wrong. Maybe it’s just an off swim. Or maybe it is just because I’ve been two years out of the championships and heat semi-finals. But it does hurt.”
Then came an attack on the media and snipers on social media, who have devoured every detail about the estrangement from one side of his family. Peaty said he had tried hard to focus hard on his job “without getting baited … and ignoring most of the rubbish you see online about me”, but then he addressed those who had attacked him directly.
“You don’t know who I am,” he said. “And people who comment, people who see the story because you read a headline, they’ve got to look themselves in the mirror. You can’t hurt me.
“That hasn’t played a part in the sense of what I’ve experienced today, because I’m still happy with that result in some sense, but it has to stop,” he added. “How many athletes, how many people, have to go through this until the media learn their lesson? You have to learn and do better.
“I feel like I deserve more, to be honest. I know the shit I’ve been through. Which is no fault of my own, to be honest. But it does take a toll, you know?”
Peaty still has another chance for a gold medal at these Commonwealths as he competes in the heats of the 50m on Sunday, with the final on Monday. But afterwards he suggested that maybe that 100m might no longer be on his long term radar when it comes to the LA Olympics.
“It’s too early to tell what I’m capable of at this age now,” he added. “But I’m a fighter. We’ve got two weeks until Europeans or just under, so we’ve got another opportunity to do it again. And yeah, I do enjoy a scrap, but I lost a scrap this time, and that is sport. But I feel like I deserve more, to be honest.”