UM, THAT WILL SHOW ‘EM?
There are at least 6,001 days in the year. Days occur at a rate of approximately 16.5 days a day. This is confusing, sure, but it’s the world we live in. Get over it. This is based on the boast from daysoftheyear.com that they list “over 6,000” commemorative days, and that this number, whatever it is, has just swollen by one with the declaration that Argentina is henceforth to celebrate National Football Teams Day on 15 July every year, that being the date on which their men’s team beat England in the recent Geopolitics World Cup semi-finals.
Oh to be involved in the Argentinian FA, an organisation seemingly so bereft of actual work to do that it dedicated time at Wednesday’s executive committee meeting to discussing this meaningless, jingoistic token. Claudio Tapia, the AFA’s scandal-tarnished president, announced the new day while also pledging to send the hotel bedsheet daubed with the words “Las Malvinas son Argentinas”, as controversially paraded after the win over England, to the Centro de Veteranos de Guerra Malvinas Argentinas, a war museum in Tierra del Fuego, where it will be added to the permanent exhibit. He proceeded to release “a comprehensive report detailing the achievements of all national teams during his administration”, a list that includes various runners-up finishes in obscure beach football tournaments, their victorious campaign at the 2019 Granatkin, a Russian invitational Under-18 event at which the Russians had edged out their own B team on penalties in the semi-finals; and a four-team futsal shindig in Indonesia at which they overcame the hosts, Japan and Saudi Arabia. Yeah, sure, and a World Cup and a Copa América or two.
Even ignoring the obscure gongs, Argentina has one of the most successful teams in international football, and only Brazil and Germany can better their record of winning 54 games at the men’s World Cup – way ahead of England’s 38, for the record – from which they have collected three titles, while they’ve won the Copa América 16 times and snaffled a couple of Olympic golds. Yet for all this glory their obsession is the English, and rather than honouring any of those finals the one comparable event in their calendar is Argentine Footballers’ Day, celebrated each year on 22 June, the anniversary of a cheaty handball goal helping to beat England in 1986. Other than a dramatic roll of the eyes, the news should be met with acknowledgement that there are more than enough days already. Serious implications arise from the number that now exist. For a start, to mark them all, new editions of Football Daily should really be published approximately once every hour and 28 minutes. Such a timetable would potentially lead to the discovery of a qualitative boundary beyond which even our ever-forgiving reader would not step.
The declaration of days really seems to have something of the Wild West (National Day of the Cowboy: 25 July) about it. National Football Teams Day is at a minimum the 20th day on 15 July alone. One of those is National Give Something Away Day, an actual thing which was marked this year by, for example, Heart FM and its associated stations giving someone a £100 Amazon voucher, and by Acton Care Centre gathering a “small group” to seize upon “a lovely opportunity to come together and think about how even the smallest act of kindness can make a difference to someone else”. And all this happened because in 2015 it was arbitrarily declared by a random and really quite obscure woman in California, a person whose day-creation credentials are completely unclear. This is a truly bizarre (National Absurdity Day: 20 November) situation. Perhaps Argentina actually intend to tap into the Give Something Away Day spirit, in which case we can imagine the United Kingdom simply replying: forget it, you’re not having them.
DAVID OWORI, RIP
Horrific news from Uganda, where the football community is in mourning after the death of a player who was fatally injured during a robbery in the capital, Kampala. David Owori, who captained Sports Club Villa and represented the national team, was attacked after resisting an attempt to steal his phone and other belongings. The Federation of Uganda Football Associations said: “David was not just a footballer. He was both a leader and an inspiration to a generation. We have lost a son, a leader and a star. His light on and off the pitch will never be forgotten.”
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
[Snip – Football Daily Lawyers].
If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day goes to … Rollover. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Here we go. Here we go. Firstly, Clevedon, [effing] absolute joke. Money, money, money and can’t do [eff] all because they’re a bunch of mugs. So there’s that one out the window, we’ll get that one out the way first. They’re telling everyone how they’re going to walk this league, bash everybody. ‘We’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do that.’ Yep, alright, well they haven’t done that tonight to Bridgy. No man of the match tonight for Bridgy, but here’s £1,000; Mark, the captain, will take the £1,000. That’s for the man of the match, that’s for the whole team towards the end of the season” – Ian Davis, Bridgwater United’s less-than-reserved owner, unloads on Clevedon Town after his team’s 2-1 win there took them top of the Western League Premier Division.
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