And here is Ali’s match report, hot off the laptop.

Time to wrap things up. Thanks for your company, correspondence and improbable tales from pub quizzes. It’s almost as if there’s an overlap between quizzers and OBO readers.

Ali Martin’s report will be along soon, the OBO will be back in the morning, and the MBM will be cranking up for Man United’s return to the Champions League in less than an hour. For now, do drop in on Tanya. Rain stops play, dog stops play, but Guardian Sport remains unstoppable.

And one last email. “Loving the OBO as per usual,” says Rafe Bingham, without a trace of smugness, “from the passenger seat of a road trip in central France. The mention of Carol Vorderman at university piqued my interest, as she is the holder of an unusual record during her time at Cambridge: the rare and unusual 3rd class ‘gentleman’s degree’ in all three terms, notable enough that a 3rd is supposedly known as a ‘Vorderman’ now, much as the 2:2 is called a Desmond after a certain archbishop. Maybe a smidgeon of knowledge that might be of benefit in a pub quiz someday...” A triple third! Magnificent.

As the rain continues to fall, Graeme Thorn is looking on the bright side. “Just as a counter to all the negativity re this series, particularly its timing,” he says, “let’s not forget that the Ashes series in 2005 that is so fondly remembered ended in mid September, exactly 21 years ago.

“I’m sure if Pakistan had put up more of a fight, crowds for this Test would have been larger, particularly given it’s being held in Birmingham.”

“At my local pub quiz,” says Max Williams, “the worst team gets to pick the specialist round for next week – which can be anything from James Bond to cheese to quantum physics. However the answer to that round’s final question is always Aston Villa, the quizmaster being a massive Villa fan.

“He also delights in taking the scenic route to get there. Say that week’s specialist subject is Oasis. An obvious question would be ‘Definitely Maybe was released in 1994. Who won the League Cup that year?’” Obvious indeed.

“Instead we get something like, ‘The original rhythm guitarist of Oasis is known as Bonehead. His real name is Paul – a name he shares with legendary German midfielder Paul Breitner. In 1982, Breitner’s Bayern Munich lost the European Cup final to which West Midlands team?’

“Anyway, reckon Gay has done enough to nail down his place for South Africa? I can’t say I’m too convinced – he played and missed a lot yesterday.” Agreed. “But then I’d bring back Crawley, scapegoated for an Ashes tour where he finished as third highest scorer. So what do I know? (Other than the answer to the 30th question at the pub quiz tonight will be Aston Villa.)

“Incidentally, if any OBOers are based near Streatham, the quiz is at the Leigham Well, a lovely local spot just off the high street. You’ve already got a point in the bag.” Ha.

12th over: Pakistan 46-2 (Azan Awais 29, Shan Masood 15) Atkinson bowls the last two balls of his over, studiously blocked by Azan Awais.

11th over: Pakistan 40-2 (Azan Awais 24, Shan Masood 14) Root tinkers with the field – short leg, leg slip, then back to a cordon of five – and Robinson adjusts his line accordingly. “Amazing skill,” says Eoin Morgan. “Like throwing darts.”

Robinson has 6-3-10-2, his two colleagues 5-0-30-0. Maybe the Pakistanis should play Robinson the way he played them.

10th over: Pakistan 40-2 (Azan Awais 24, Shan Masood 14) Atkinson almost brings that average crashing down as Masood procueds a grandiose waft and Ben Duckett can only tip the ball over the bar. It was a good effort actually, nothing like the two chances Duckett dropped in the first innings.

“So this is test cricket in 2026,” says Rob Grey, “pushed out to September, played in diminishing light, without a real contest and in front of a reduced and barely engaged crowd. Well done all involved.”

That’s one way of looking at it! To be fair to Test cricket – and the British climate – all those things have been true, at times, in high summer. There were plenty of one-sided series back in the day.

9th over: Pakistan 33-2 (Azan Awais 19, Shan Masood 12) As Robinson strays down the leg side, Cox pulls off a top-class take. He’s like those kids you were at school with who seemed to be good at every sport they tried.

8th over: Pakistan 32-2 (Azan Awais 19, Shan Masood 11) Joe Root takes Jofra off, after a rare fruitless spell with the new ball. He wants to give an early go to Gus Atkinson, who hasn’t been the same since being demoted to third seamer – his bowling average in this series is 156. He starts decently but then drops too short to Masood, who cuts for two and a single.

7th over: Pakistan 29-2 (Azan Awais 19, Shan Masood 8) Never mind the wickets – Robinson has also been absurdly economical in this series, going for about 1.9 runs per over. But this over is an exception to the rule, going for seven. The batters take a few singles and Masood, seeing a wide-ish ball, has the presence of mind to cut it for four.

“A few years ago,” says Paul Griffin, “I was in a pub quiz team which tied for first place. The tiebreak question was a very, very niche one about Buzzcocks b-sides. The opponents answered first, incredibly quickly and with absolute certainty. The reason was revealed when it became clear at one of the members of the pub quiz was actually in the Buzzcocks. Incredibly, despite nearly a millennium of inns and hostelries, there is no pub quiz regulator (OffPub? OffTriv?) in the UK.

“No wonder the country is broken.”

6th over: Pakistan 22-2 (Azan Awais 18, Shan Masood 2) Two singles from Archer’s over, and two byes as another delivery jumps up at Masood like an over-excited spaniel.

5th over: Pakistan 18-2 (Azan Awais 17, Shan Masood 1) A maiden from Robinson that includes one ridiculous delivery – a length ball to the left-handed Masood, lifting and leaving him like an off-cutter. Robinson chuckles, unable to believe his luck.

Here’s Tim Stappard, picking up on my teatime snack. “You need Greek honey with Greek yogurt,” he says, with some firmness. Luckily, that’s what I had.

4th over: Pakistan 18-2 (Azan Awais 17, Shan Masood 1) Archer warms to the task, sending a snorter past Awais’s outside edge. Jordan Cox thinks he may have his first catch as the keeper, but Root didn’t hear a nick and HawkEye suggests he’s right. Awais recovers to pull out that elegant cover drive again. Maybe he will make the first hundred of the series?

3rd over: Pakistan 14-2 (Azan Awais 13, Shan Masood 1) You’re not going to believe this, but Ollie Robinson has conceded some runs. A single to each batter as Masood pushes into the covers and Awais shovels to leg.

“Before we were old enough to go to pub quizzes,” says Stephen Brown, “the PTA at my high school used to do quizzes as fundraisers, and our go-to answer for anyone we didn’t know (and we were the kids table at a quiz aimed at adults so this was a lot) was always Carol Vorderman. Not because she was a logical guess, but because the our English teacher who was always the quiz master had dated her at university and it made him more grumpy than usual.

“Who’d be a teacher, hey.”

2nd over: Pakistan 12-2 (Azan Awais 12, Shan Masood 0) Azan Awais is used to this carnage and he’s used to facing Jofra Archer, who had some good duels with him at Lord’s. Awais gets the right part of the scoreboard moving with not one boundary, but three: a cover drive, a clip off the pads and an upper cut.

1st over: Pakistan 0-2 (Azan Awais 0, Shan Masood 0) Robinson beats Masood outside off. What a day he’s having – a fifty earlier, a double-wicket maiden now. And what a series: he now has 21 wickets for 130 at an average of six.

Back at Edgbaston, the lights are on and Nasser is wearing a waxed jacket. But players are out there and, as Jamie Smith has a sore thumb, Jordan Cox is wearing the wicketkeeping gloves for the first time in a Test match. He’ll be fine – he’s been coached by Sarah Taylor.

Meanwhile, in the County Championship, there’s been a first red-ball fifty for Rocky Flintoff, a big win for Yorkshire and some important news about a dog. Do join our queen of the county scene, Tanya Aldred.

“Not quite pub quiz,” says Pete Salmon, “but when my friends and I used to play the original Trivial Pursuit, we had three options for when you didn’t know the answer to a question. There was the Blue Whale; Karl Marx; or Ken ‘Slasher’ Mackay.

“The first because it tended to be the biggest everything in nature (I still remember its tongue weighs the same as a cow), the second because every quote was him or Jesus, and the third because Richie Benaud would wax lyrical about him, despite 37 Tests, top score 89, average 33, plus 50 wickets at an average of 34. Seemed the best MOR cricketer ever, so was always the answer to obscure sports questions.”

Ha. Something tells me he might not be much use these days. And that’s a great factoid about the blue whale, but does its tongue weigh more than Josh Tongue?

And that will be tea. Or, as this is the Guardian, a bowl of Greek yoghurt with honey.

88th over: England 448-9 (Archer 32, Tongue 11) Razaullah is able to continue, but may wish he wasn’t as Archer helps himself to a whip for two and a pull for six. His 32 has come off off only 27 balls, and England have 75 from the past ten overs. Rumours of Bazball’s death may have been exaggerated.

87th over: England 438-9 (Archer 23, Tongue 11) Ali continues, bowling to Tongue, and puts the plug in for five balls, only to concede four to a rather classy square drive. Meanwhile, dwn at fine leg, Razaullah gets a team-mate to give him some stretches and ends up doing a headstand. Oh, to be 21 again.

86th over: England 434-9 (Archer 23, Tongue 7) No, Abbas wasn’t changing ends. It’s still Razaullah, who finds a short ball being cut away with brutal glee by Archer. A few singles lift England to a lead of 300.

85th over: England 426-9 (Archer 17, Tongue 5) Mohammad Abbas has been taken off, possibly to change ends, or possibly because he’s knackered after bowling about 50pc more overs in this series than any Englishman. Mohammad Ali takes over and Archer swings him away for six over deep square. That completes the set for Jofra: he’s the only batter in the series to have hit a six in each of the three Tests. When Ali turns an attempted yorker into a full toss, Tongue off-drives it for four. The new ball has gone for 42 in five overs.

84th over: England 415-9 (Archer 10, Tongue 1) Josh Tongue is waiting for the yorker and clips it adroitly off his toes to get off the mark. Archer dabs for two and then skies a pull, sending it high but not quite far enough to give Razaullah his five-for. Pakistan’s new Action Man has to settle for 21-0-131-4.

82nd over: England 400-8 (Robinson 45, Archer 5) Razaullah’s pace and zest, and this three wickets, have earned him a go with the new ball. After mostly tailing in with the old ball, he now produces a lovely outswinger, too good to get a nick out of Jofra. Then he relapses onto the pads and Jofra tucks for two. Razaullah thinks he’s got Robinson LBW, but it’s too high. Still making things happen.

81st over: England 396-8 (Robinson 45, Archer 2) Robinson sees that shiny new cherry and his eyes light up as if he was bowling with it. He goes down the track and belts Abbas’s first ball to midwicket for four. The keeper, Ghazi Ghori, comes up to the stumps to put a stop to that, but Robinson is ready with his retort: a slog for six! And he adds a flick off the hip for two to make 12 off the over. He could be in trouble with the Global Guild of Medium-Pace Masters.

Babar Azam takes the new ball straight away, and hands it to Mohammad Abbas.

80th over: England 384-8 (Robinson 33, Archer 2) Razaullah continues, running in hard, but drifting onto the pads, where even a No 8 can make hay. Robinson plays a clip to midwicket for two, a glance for four and a flick for a single. He’s about a third of the way to the hundred that has eluded every specialist batter in this series.

79th over: England 377-8 (Robinson 26, Archer 2) Saim Ayub continues with his friendly slow stuff, and England’s opening bowlers help themselves to a few singles.

78th over: England 374-8 (Robinson 24, Archer 1) So Razaullah has a magnificent set of figures: 18-0-115-3. A man who makes things happen.

Thanks Rob and afternoon everyone. England lead by 239, which is about 40 more than Pakistan have managed in any of their innings so far. If Ben Stokes was still in charge, he would have declared by now.

Drinks That’s all from me – the great Tim de Lisle will guide you through the second half of the day.

77th over: England 368-7 (Smith 65, Robinson 23) The occasional spinner Saim Ayub returns to the attack. There’s an unsuccessful review for caught behind when Smith pushes at a ball down the leg side; it brushed the pad but missed his bat by a mile. Smith charges the next ball and drags it on the bounce to Ali at cow corner.

“So I was in a team in the Geddington village quiz,” says David Acaster. “Peak quizzing, we can all agree on that. Picture round – name the cities shown in pictures of important public buildings. We got stuck on the last one, until one of my teammates pointed out it was embroidered on my polo shirt, with ‘Helsinki’ embroidered underneath it.”

76th over: England 363-7 (Smith 63, Robinson 20) The non-striker Smith scrambles to make his ground after Robinson takes a quick single on the off side. I think he’d have been out with a direct hit.

Two from Imran’s over; England lead by 230.

75th over: England 361-7 (Smith 62, Robinson 19) “Regarding Nasser’s statgasm (over 71), I’m not greatly surprised,” writes Nicholas Way. “Robinson tends to get lbws with his nagging accuracy, while Tongue likes nothing better than splattering the stumps. So although the keepers are taking fewer catches, they could reasonably ‘claim an assist’ for lbws caused by them standing up to the stumps.”

I agree – it’s not a surprise, especially not with Matt Henry and New Zealand also using the tactic so effectively, but it does reinforce the feeling that there has been a profound change to Test cricket since the Ashes.

74th over: England 357-7 (Smith 60, Robinson 17) Robinson moves to 17 from as many balls by clattering Imran behind square for four. It’s all a bit too easy.

73rd over: England 353-7 (Smith 60, Robinson 13) Robinson chips Abbas jauntily over wide mid-on for four – it almost went for six – before dragging a disgusting mow past leg stump for another boundary. This is a win-win situation for Robinson; it’s getting murky at Edgbaston so he’ll be very happy to bowl.

72nd over: England 343-7 (Smith 59, Robinson 4) Ollie Robinson briefly turns into Viv Richards, walking across to flick Imran through midwicket for four.

I’ve just noticed that the weather forecast isn’t great after 4pm, so we can probably forget about a two-day Test.

“I’m torn by the concept of daddy fifties,” writes Eddy Nason. “While I agree it would be great to have everyone convert their starts into big runs, I also feel like everyone getting to 60-75 is a recipe for fast, sizeable team scores. This feels like the tension in test cricket of team vs. individual. Perhaps we should start looking only at daddy partnerships (like our bowlers hunting in packs)?”

Or, given past events, we could never use the D-word on the OBO again. (It’s my fault for bringing it up, and for the past events.)

71st over: England 339-7 (Smith 59, Robinson 0) Smith plays and misses at a jaffa from Abbas. But then Abbas gets greedy and spears one down the leg side for four byes. Poor Ghazi Ghori has conceded 18 byes on his debut despite doing very little wrong.

Smith slugs four over mid-on to extend England’s lead to 206. His keeping has been superb all summer, and now he has quietly returned to form with the bat.

Here’s a statgasm c/o Nasser Hussain on Sky Sports: 46.5% of the wickets to fall in Tests this summer have been bowled or LBW. That’s the highest percentage since the 1940s.

70th over: England 331-7 (Smith 55, Robinson 0) Ollie Robinson is the new batter.

69th over: England 330-6 (Smith 54, Atkinson 19) Mohammad Abbas replaces Razaullah, who has unique figures of 17-0-109-2. Ghori moves back up to the stumps, secure in the assumption that Abbas is less likely to spear one down the leg side. He’s right, at least in that over, which brings just a single for Smith.

68th over: England 329-6 (Smith 53, Atkinson 19) Atkinson waves Imran to the cover boundary. For a lower-order bater he plays some seriously good-looking shots. An errant delivery bursts through the gloves of Ghori and runs away for four byes, at which point Ghori decides to stand back. England lead by 196 runs.

“Buenos tardes from sunny Ibiza, Rob,” writes Guy Hornsby. “There’s worse places to follow the cricket. It’s sad that the result of this Test was unlikely to be in doubt, so the subplots are where it’s at. For all of England’s dominance, having another innings when no batter has made a ton feels a little disappointing. I’m very happy for Emilio Gay, and hope he gets more runs, yet Pakistan are unlikely to make us bat again at this rate.

“I’m not whingeing; it’s more that you wouldn’t expect India or Australia to miss out this much. As much as some are still learning, if we want a side to be challenging at the top, we should be ruthless, even against meek opposition. It’s what great sides do. We’re some distance from that, but the potential is there.”

There was a great line on this from the Telegraph’s Rob Bagchi, who wrote that England have entered the era of daddy fifties.

67th over: England 320-6 (Smith 52, Atkinson 15) Razaullah zips a good delivery past Smith’s outside edge, is clattered for four by Atkinson and then beats Atkinson with a beauty. Life in miniature.

“At an oil site on Barrow Island (off NW Australia) some years ago my Brit college and I joined a team for a ‘chook quiz’,” begins Ray Wells. “So called because first prize was a cooked chook. One question was ‘Where is Karl Marx buried?’ So far as the quizmaster was concerned, the correct answer was London. We had a point deducted for being smart-arses and writing Highgate Cemetery.”

66th over: England 313-6 (Smith 51, Atkinson 10) An inswinger from Imran flies down the leg side for four byes. Oh dear. Pakistan don’t need Jill Tyrell to tell them that things could get nasty here – they trail by 180 runs and a two-day defeat is not beyond the realms.

Pakistan have only been involved in a single two-day Test, that fiasco against Australia in Sharjah 24 years ago.

65th over: England 308-6 (Smith 51, Atkinson 10) Razaullah continues to target the stumps. The rewards are high but so is the risk; when he overpitches slightly, Atkinson punches a superb boundary through mid-on.

Later in the over, a rancid long hop is walloped for four by Smith. That brings up a dominant half-century from just 54 balls – and takes Smith’s Test average at Edgbaston to 209.

Afternoon session Razaullah is going to continue after lunch.

“What do you make of reports that Josh Tongue unveiled a wobble-steam ball yesterday?” asks Luke Dealtry. “Was he doing it at high pace or did it bring him down? Presumably if he keeps his pace he will be even better.”

Wobble-steam? It’s all smoke and mirrors if you ask me.

“It’s Fray Bentos (56th over), as I’m sure half the cricket-following population of Uruguay will already have told you in huffy emails (as they probably haven’t even had their morning mate yet),” writes Matthew Clapham. “It’s actually a town on the Uruguay-Argentina border, which gave its name to a beef processing plant and hence to the corned beef and meat pie brand.

“‘Fray’ itself is Spanish for ‘friar’, although only as a title, as in ‘Friar Tuck’ (appropriately enough). So Fray Bentos (town) is named after ‘Friar Bentos’, a religious hermit who lived there.

“The meat industry took off courtesy of the Liebig Extract of Meat Company (great branding!), the same guy high school chemistry fans will remember from his Liebig condenser.

“What’s in a name, eh? Enjoy a pie or two at lunchtime!”

Do they sell them in Pret?

“Following Richard O’Hagan’s fury (over 59), I can vent similar frustration of an erroneous quizmaster – and at the Royal Geographical Society’s Xmas Quiz, too!” writes Martin Wright. “The question was: ‘Which city hosts the annual Shandur Polo Festival?’ As many of your Pakistani readers will surely know, it’s not staged in a city at all – it’s held outside the town of Chitral, high in the Hindu Kush (one of the most beautiful regions in the world).

“Having been lucky enough to go there for work, I knew the answer. But ‘city’ confused me. So I thought I must have got it wrong, and since the nearest actual city is Peshawar, I opted for that.

“Imagine my reaction when the answer was given as Chitral. ‘It’s not a city! It’s NOT A CITY’, I shouted at the confused MC, while my embarrassed team-mates looked away. I don’t think there’s a video of me correcting him. But there should be.”

You’ve always been the quizmaster.

Lunchtime reading

The ball is short outside off. Vaibhav Sooryavanshi goes to pull it, hoiks it high to deep midwicket, is out for 44 off 37 balls. Almost immediately, a portion of the 12,000 fans who have risen at dawn to queue outside the Chepauk Stadium for free tickets begin to vacate their seats. The Duleep Trophy final in Chennai between East Zone and South Zone is scheduled for five days and has been going for barely an hour. But for some, the show is already over.

Of course, Sooryavanshi is part of the reason the final is taking place in Chennai in the first place. It was originally slated for the national academy on the outskirts of Bengaluru, only to be moved in order to accommodate the thousands of fans desperate to glimpse the child prince of Indian cricket in the flesh. Sooryavanshi is the hottest player in the world right now, a 15-year-old left-handed jaw-dropping genius with records spilling out of his pockets. But when it comes to red-ball cricket, the classic form of the game, he’s still – by any objective measure – not very good.

Going into this final, Sooryavanshi’s first-class average is a shade above 23, rendering him statistically a less effective red-ball batter than Craig Overton. Here, in perfect batting conditions, he scores a brisk and brash 44 in a mammoth total of 708, before dancing down the pitch and getting stumped for eight in the second innings as East Zone chase the outright win. None of which really tells us anything conclusive. The numbers are largely subservient to the project, the hypothetical, the burning question with implications not just for Sooryavanshi, not just for India, but very possibly for cricket itself.

63rd over: England 298-6 (Smith 47, Atkinson 5) Atkinson throws his hands at a wide one from Razaullah and gets four over the slip cordon. There’s time for one more over before lunch.

Incidentally, that was Dan Lawrence’s seventh Test half-century. Only three England players, all Middlesex legends, have scored more fifties without going on to reach three figures: John Emburey (10), Fred Titmus (10) and Mike Brearley (9). England’s new coach Stephen Fleming also had conversion issues at the start of his Test career – he scored ten fifties before finally making a hundred – so he might have some advice for Lawrence.

“A very good friend of mine, when we were but 18/19 and impoverished, missed a solo spot price question in our pub quiz that would have earned us 80 odd quid (a tidy sum back then even between four),” writes Andrew Benzeval. “The question was ‘What was the name of the wolf in Due South?’ We three who remained at the table sat back in glee, as he obviously knew this, but the look on his face said otherwise sadly. He blamed momentary brain fade.”

62nd over: England 294-6 (Smith 47, Atkinson 1) Gus Atkinson survives a big LBW appeal first ball. He was hit on the back thigh by a nipbacker that would have bounced over the stumps. Imran wanted to review but the wicketkeeper Ghori rightly advised against it.

“In Cambridge, where I live,” begins Paul Haynes, “wrong answers in pub quizzes are often met with comments such as ‘I should’ve got that one – I actually did my PhD thesis on it’.”

61st over: England 293-5 (Lawrence 65, Smith 47) Smith shapes to uppercut Razaullah, realises the ball won’t be high enough and under-edges it short of the slip cordon. The next delivery is too straight and muscled to the midwicket boundary. Smith top-edges a hook for four more to move to 47. Edgbaston is being kind to him again: he scored 272 runs against India a year ago.

“Dear Rob,” begins Will West. “Bonzour (sic) from Mahé, Seychelles! Am I deluding myself (“I can handle despair, it’s the hope I can’t stand..”) that we have a really exciting batting lineup coalescing here? Not the sternest of Tests now I admit, but some sublime talent, surely.

“So here’s a wild idea; move Root to 7. It takes pressure off him to focus on captaincy; it forces the youngers to shoulder responsibility; plus as the fielding side it is always unspeakably demoralising to feel you have fought through the batting only to have someone dig in and score from the tail. So: Duckett, Gay, Cox, Bethell, Brook, Smith, Root, Atkinson, Archer, Robinson, Tongue. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Probably a load of wild West puns, given your surname and admission that it’s a wild idea. That and Joe Root being left high and dry on 17 not out once a month. I agree that, on paper, England’s batting line-up is seriously exciting – but right now only Brook feels like a sure thing, and even he hasn’t scored a Test hundred for 14 months. Bethell, Cox, Gay and to a lesser extent Smith are still learning to play Test cricket, Duckett has had a lean 18 months and Root has the LBW blues.

60th over: England 283-5 (Lawrence 65, Smith 37) Smith, who looks in excellent touch, dismisses Imran through midwicket for four to bring up the fifty partnership. Pakistan are starting to look resigned to their fate.

“I got a question about the number of different species of owl in the UK wrong,” says Richard O’Hagan, “but only because the question-master had the wrong answer themselves (they said there were five, there are actually six – barn, tawny, long-eared, short-eared, little and eagle).”

Please tell me there’s a video of you correcting them.

59th over: England 277-5 (Lawrence 65, Smith 32) Razaullah returns to the attack. Pace can be a mixed blessing; Smith uses Razaullah’s to score three twos in the over. Razaullah is going at more than a run a ball, with figures of 13-0-80-2. That’s surprising because he hasn’t bowled that many loose deliveries.

“I can sympathise with David Hopkins,” says John Swan. “The exact same thing happened to me, except my T-shirt/unoffered answer was Depeche Mode. Sigh.”

Erm, I feel you.

58th over: England 268-5 (Lawrence 64, Smith 24) Mohammad Imran replaces Saim Ayub and is worked round the corner for two by Lawrence. It’s been a morning of two halves for Lawrence, who wants that first Test hundred real bad:

• 42 runs from the first 25 balls (Strike rate 168)

• 17 from the last 44 (SR 39)

“To further clarify,” says David Hopkins, “the question was ‘Youngest female to have a UK No. 1 album’. I think we put Amy Winehouse. I can’t confirm whether anyone else poisoned my mind with their bl0ody 4 Non Blondes...”

57th over: England 263-5 (Lawrence 61, Smith 23) Smith is beaten by some extra bounce from Ali, who must wonder what he’s done to deserve such ill luck. Later in the over, Smith tries a tennis shot and mistimes it over the bowler’s head for a single.

Ali’s mood doesn’t improve when he bowls a no-ball and then a wide on height. England lead by 131.

56th over: England 260-5 (Lawrence 60, Smith 22) Lawrence pumps Saim Ayub over wide mid-on for four. England are helping themselves against Ayub’s occasional spin, although as I type that Jamie Smith has to react smartly to keep out a grubber. That was almost one for the Hooper-Hussain files.

“The collective difficulties of the batting line-ups across this series have been a valuable reminder of all of our fallibilities,” begins David Hopkins. “I was keenly reminded of my own this week at a pub quiz, at which an answer to a music question was ‘Billie Eilish’, rather than what we’d put. The faces of my team slowly turned to my way, with a mixture of perplexity and disgust, as I sat there in one of my many Billie Eilish T-shirts. I stalked off to the bar for some liquid consolation, only to be informed by the bar staff that they’d all got the correct answer. Have other OBOers been similarly caught out on their ‘specialist subject’?”

First things first, Hopkins.

1. What was the question, and what answer did you actually put?

2. Frey Bentos.

55th over: England 249-5 (Lawrence 55, Smith 21) Smith drives Ali handsomely to the extra-cover boundary, then helps himself to four more when Ali strays onto the pads. Ali also goes past the edge on a couple of occasions – I reckon he’s beaten the bat at least 10 times in this spell.

“Have you an explanation for Smith being out there with an injured thumb?” asks Geoff Wignall. “Surely England have enough on the board and in the tail plus Lawrence to not need whatever runs he manages, against a team who’d struggle in league cricket.”

I think it’s bruised rather than mangled. It’s the last Test of the summer, and England’s lead isn’t yet big enough that they can stick two fingers up at Mother Cricket. NB: if Razaullah crushes Smith’s thumb and Smith misses the tour to South Africa, this entry may mysteriously disappear.

54th over: England 245-5 (Lawrence 55, Smith 13) Smith goes after Saim, driving him over mid-on for six and then four. Ave it.

53rd over: England 234-5 (Lawrence 54, Smith 2) A spectacular outswinger from Mohammad Ali squares Jamie Smith and hits him on the back pad in front of middle stump. Ali pleads for LBW, Paul Reiffel says not out because of the height and Babar Azam decides against a review. Replays confirm it was just bouncing over.

Smith is also beaten outside off stump on a couple of occasions. A fabulous maiden from Ali, who has bowled a fine spell and deserves a wicket or two.

52nd over: England 234-5 (Lawrence 54, Smith 2) Saim continues after drinks. That’s a bit of a surprise – I thought Pakistan might test Smith’s injured thumb with the pace of Razaullah. Three singles from the over.

“Not used to this England dominance at all,” says Robert Lewis. “It is most unsettling. What with West Ham briefly topping the table, I feel I’ve woken up in a parallel universe, along with the Turkish women’s volleyball players winning the Euros last weekend, and my fellow Istanbulities walking round with stupid grins on their faces.”

An email from Mark Allen

Is there a bit of a run-out renaissance in Test cricket, due to lack of traditional ‘proper calling’, ‘running the bat in’ (Emilio Gay was mentioned in dispatches yesterday about this), or are these the ramblings of an old man in chilly Dundee, who never played top-level cricket anyway?

I’d have to check but I think the record for Test run-outs in a calendar year is 71 in 2001. There have been something like 15 this year. But as I say, I’d have to check.

51st over: England 230-5 (Lawrence 53, Smith 0) Ali, who is starting to make the ball murmur, beats Lawrence with back-to-back deliveries. Time for drinks, and a musical interlude.

50th over: England 230-5 (Lawrence 53, Smith 0) Replays show that Brook was slow to set off for that single, though I’m not sure he’d have made it anyway. It was a simple misjudgement, and a frustrating end to a very mature innings.

Jamie Smith, his right thumb in a splint, is the new batter.

49th over: England 229-4 (Brook 75, Lawrence 52) Brook edges/steers Ali just short of the slips, with the ball bouncing away for four runs.

Ali appeals for caught behind when Lawrence is beaten by a beauty that nips back off the seam. It was a no-ball, and replays confirm Lawrence missed the ball anyway.

48th over: England 221-4 (Brook 68, Lawrence 52) And now for something completely different: the occasional spin of Saim Ayub. Lawrence works him for two to reach a terrific counter-attacking fifty, made from only 47 balls. Tougher tests await, particularly against South Africa’s bloodthirsty pace attack, but Lawrence has made an excellent return to Test cricket. It could get a whole lot better in the next couple of hours: he has a great opportunity to make his first Test hundred.

England have scored 65 runs in nine overs this morning.

47th over: England 214-4 (Brook 64, Lawrence 49) This has been a fascinating innings from Brook, with very few big shots by his standards. His running between the wickets has been so good that, even though he has hit only five boundaries in 89 balls, he still has a strike rate of 72.

46th over: England 212-4 (Brook 63, Lawrence 48) Mohammad Ali replaces Razaullah, who bowled pretty well yet conceded 29 from his three overs. Lawrence, who is one hit away from another fifty, has an almighty wipe at fresh air. He bunts the last ball for a single to keep strike.

“England looking to make quick runs before a lunchtime declaration setting Pakistan 240 or so in two sessions?” writes Gary Naylor. “Sounds like a plan. Hang on...”

45th over: England 210-4 (Brook 63, Lawrence 47) Lawrence dumps Abbas through midwicket for his seventh boundary of the morning. Seven fours in the first half-hour!

Make that eight – he has just timed Abbas majestically through point. England, Lawrence in particular, have been so good this morning. Pakistan haven’t bowled badly but England are putting them under so much pressure – both through boundaries and hyper-aggressive running between the wickets.

I know it’s a dirty word nowadays, but England’s performance this morning has been the platonic ideal of Bazball.

44th over: England 201-4 (Brook 63, Lawrence 39) Dan Lawrence is flying. He pulls Razaullah for four, then slices another boundary over the head of backward point. That brings up the fifty partnership in just 58 balls. And Lawrence has scored 34 from 21 this morning.

“What a nice touch that Sarah Taylor is helping the Pakistan wicketkeeper out!” writes John Stedman. “Surely it’s in everybody’s best interests that the visitors put in a good performance here.”

I might not say that that in earshot of Dover’s finest. But yes, the sharing of expertise has always been one of cricket’s more endearing features – Shane Warne with young legspinners, Rahul Dravid and Michael Vaughan at The Oval in 2002, the wobble-seam brotherhood and so on.

43rd over: England 188-4 (Brook 61, Lawrence 28) Lawrence hits two three in Abbas’s over to continue England’s superb start: they’ve scored 32 runs in four overs.

“Brook and Lawrence have been England’s most successful pairing this summer, by average (min. two partnerships),” writes Tim de Lisle, who will be on duty later. “And look who’s bottom of the table!”

42nd over: England 181-4 (Brook 60, Lawrence 22) Razaullah digs in a short ball to Lawrence, who gloves a pull down the leg side for four. Ghori dived to his left but needed a telescopic arm to reach it. Brook then squirts his first boundary of the day past gully.

Some excellent running makes it 12 from the over; Razaullah didn’t do a lot wrong either.

41st over: England 169-4 (Brook 53, Lawrence 17) Mohammad Abbas starts from the other end with the keeper up to the stumps. Lawrence takes him for consecutive boundaries, a flick through square leg and an edge along the ground. England are off to a flyer.

40th over: England 160-4 (Brook 52, Lawrence 9) Razaullah’s first ball of the day is a hot, hot lifter that beats Dan Lawrence. After wearing another lifter on the elbow, Lawrence clips firmly through midwicket for four. Nice shot.

The sun is shining at Edgbaston and the players are ready to go. It’s Razaullah time.

“Nothing hurts me more than a non-performing Pakistan team,” says Krishnamoorthy V, who has clearly never had piles. “I still recall with awe the super-talented, all-conquering team of 1992. It is true they have been falling steadily but one would exoect a correction and reversal of fortune/form from such a cricket talent nation. West Indies and Pakistan shall forever remain a mystery in their current underperformance. And the bulk of the common malady lies with their respective boards.”

‘Wicketkeeping is an art, and art is universal’

Sarah Taylor, England’s fielding coach, is on the outfield giving a tutorial to Pakistan’s debutant keeper Ghazi Ghori. Arthur Mailey would surely approve.

Ali Martin’s weather report is in

Weather fine, pitch good, 16 wickets incoming.

England’s four-man seam attack once again demonstrated its collective threat in bundling Pakistan out for 133 at Edgbaston. Josh Tongue highlighted the work the quartet have done together beyond ­matchdays by experimenting with a wobble seam delivery that he has honed with assistance from Ollie Robinson – work that brought immediate reward.

“I’ve spoken to Robbo quite a bit about it,” said Tongue, who took four wickets, with the other six equally shared between Robinson and Jofra Archer. “Obviously he’s unbelievable at that and he’s showed that throughout the series. So I’ve been speaking to him quite a bit during the last couple of Tests and I tried a couple of things in training the other day. That was the first time I’d bowled it in the game and it got me a wicket, so I’ll be using it again. I want to get more skills under my belt.”

Day one report

In jettisoning seven players from their squad, parachuting seven more in, and then making four changes to their XI, Pakistan went into this third Test against England pretty much throwing mud at the wall in the hope that some of it might stick.

Some did, in fairness, with the newcomer Razaullah dismissing Joe Root after tea on the opening day with just his fourth delivery in Test cricket. Propelling the ball from a slingy, chest-on action that has a smidgeon of Waqar Younis in his pomp – and hitting 92mph on the speed gun – the 21-year-old’s ­figures of two for 42 offered a ­glimmer of cheer for Pakistan’s otherwise ­downbeat supporters.

Sadly their team’s broader slide continued and by stumps – even with just 73 overs bowled despite a mere five-minute rain break – England’s upper hand in a series they have already secured at 2-0 up remained. Having dismissed the tourists for 133 in just shy of 34 overs after winning a helpful toss, Root’s men closed on 156 for four and will go into day two leading by 23 runs.