Visitors with abnormal chests
It took more than two hours for André Vos to be processed through Heathrow last week. There was a detailed medical examination, including an X-ray for TB, for the Springbok flanker, who is to captain Harlequins - and it seems to be a standard experience for South African players arriving to join clubs here. Immigration officials say the check applies only to those staying more than six months, and that it is 'at the discretion of the immigration medical examiner'. It seems fairly clear that many ordinary South Africans in the same category aren't checked, so why the biggest and fittest should be picked out is a bit of a mystery. But at least it's doing a job for the clubs, and at no cost.
Air support not wanted
Flying a plane low over a rugby ground has, not too surprisingly, been deemed an inappropriate way of expressing support for one's team. It happened recently at Christchurch's Jade Stadium when Canterbury were playing Auckland. One woman reported that her husband had phoned home in a state of shock. She said: 'When the Hercules banked around, flying low, and headed straight for them, he was sure it had been taken over by terrorists and they were all about to die.' Said a New Zealand Air Force spokesman: 'The concerns are understandable, given the current circumstances. I'm sure it's very unlikely there will be any impromptu fly-bys in future.'
Taking the Nikey out of Mick
The story of how Martin Johnson's shorts almost saw action in an Ireland v Scotland match is told in Putting it on the Line , a stylish account of a year in the life of the Ireland rugby team published by sports photo agency Inpho. The tale tells how lock-forward Mick Galwey did not care for the grabbing fit of shorts provided at that time by Nike. Much more to his liking were the white shorts - strong and wide - he'd recently swapped with Johnson after beating the English at Twickenham. Using a felt pen, Galwey deftly added to these English shorts the name Nike and the trademark swoosh. Indeed, he would have taken to the field in them, but for the giveaway sniggering in the dressing room of his fellow Munsterman, the substitute prop Peter Clohessy. A mirror revealed to Galwey that the prop had altered Nike to 'Mike' and then added 'loves Joan' [the future Mrs Galwey]. What makes this story particularly intriguing is that the game is said to have taken place on 5 March 1984. Further proof, perhaps, that players such as Galwey and Clohessy are living legends whose ages will never be properly determined.
'Twas only a flesh wound
Very far from the beloved Fields of Athenry lies Limerick's Fitzgerald Park, the home of Thomond rugby club. When Sunday's Wells played there recently the visitors' full-back, Andrew Finn, was racing down the wing when he felt a sting in the backside. In the shower, a red mark revealed itself and a doctor told him he had been hit by an air-gun pellet. Apparently the visitors have been prevailed upon not to press the matter, for the home side have enough problems already with nervous referees and touch judges at this venue.
Storming the turnstiles
Next Saturday's meeting between Northampton and Leicester may be taking place at noon on the same day that England play New Zealand, with both sides much below full strength. Yet the game already gives the Saints the first sell-out of their new 12,600-capacity stadium. Yesterday's three Premiership games were all but sold out, too. In England the business of rugby seems to have surged. That impression is underlined by the news that on 4 February two South African sides preparing for the Super 12 series, the Stormers and the Sharks, will respectively play Sale and Harlequins before meeting each other at the Stoop three days later. This follows last winter's match between Quins and Natal, which, thanks to the expat community, attracted a full house and generated much peripheral commerce besides. One can't see Sale doing quite the same business - but they have a slightly different motivation for staging the February match. 'After 3 January we don't have a home fixture until the middle of March,' says a spokesman. Maybe pro rugby isn't so professional after all.
Quotes of the week
'I've never met a team, or a nation, or individuals, who talk themselves up so much. I've got no problems if they're delivering the goods, but the amount they talk their stuff up and then blow it, or don't deliver, is quite incredible.'
Ex-All Blacks flanker Josh Kronfeld, on England
'I never knew how huge he was. I felt like a peasant in a Godzilla movie. "Quickly! Tell the other villagers! We go now!'
Actor Robin Williams, on meeting Jonah Lomu
