His 22nd La Liga hat-trick, now level with Alfredo Di Stefano in the all-time hat-trick standings, his third in his last four league games. This goal is a lucky one though: a cross is volleyed back across goal from Pepe, and it hits Ronaldo on the elbow, before squirming inside the far post. There are appeals for handball, but they are drowned out by the crowd!

85 min: Isco is show-boating. He’s good at that. Bale joins in and nutmegs De Marcos but Real’s Welshman is tugged back, it’s a free-kick. Probably a yellow-card offense, considering Bale was breaking into the box, and De Marcos has already been booked, but the referee shows some mercy. Ronaldo thunders in the free-kick from the left, well punched away by Iraizoz.

84 min: James does down in the area under what looked like a challenge from Gurpego, but that was actually a pretty horrible dive from the Colombian. Hmm, not nice to see, and he didn’t need to do that, could easily have got a shot off.

82 min: Iraizoz is keeping his from being a cricket score. After a terrible mis-control by Gurpegi on the edge of his own box, Bale plays a simple one-two with Ronaldo, and has time to shift the ball onto his left and pass the ball toward the corner, but Iraizoz sticks out a right hand, and the ball is cleared. Bale should have buried that.

Isco is on for Benzema by the way. The Frenchman will have to settle for a brace tonight.

79 min: Double-save from Casillas! From a Bilbao corner, Guillermo takes a snapshot which is palmed away by Iker, but the striker gets a second chance, and Casillas, who is lying prone on the ground, is somehow able to pull the ball out of the air. There’s a few afters, Casillas is doing his best to look hard. It’s not working.

“Good to see Iker Casillas back, and back in fans’ favour,” writes Charles Antaki. “It always felt a ghastly Mourinho-inspired tragedy that he was exiled and booed; he seems a genuinely decent fellow (among some less gentlemanly team mates).”

77 min: Another Real chance, another Iraizoz save. This time, it’s quite a magnificent save. Carvajal has got forward well tonight, and he delivers a telling cross, Ronaldo using those considerable neck muscles to head the ball toward the corner, but the keeper somehow stretches to his left and turns it round the post!

73 min: It’s shooting practice for Madrid at the moment. Carvajal cuts back to Ronaldo who shoots low, again held by Iraizoz.

Illarramendi has come on for Kroos, whilst Muniain has gone off for Etxeita

71 min: Modric is enjoying the freedom of the park at the moment. He swans forward, his hair now long enough to flow behind him, and takes aim from range. Iraizoz gets down well and crucially holds the ball, Ronaldo was ready to pounce on the rebound.

Hey everyone, remember when Modric had really short hair? That was fun.

Modric picks the ball up in midfield, and has a choice of picking Ronaldo, Bale or Benzema for a through ball. Bilbao’s defenders are not goal-side of any of their markers and loitering near the centre circles, but De Marcos on the right is playing them all on. Modric chooses Ronaldo, who dribbles into the area, before unselfishly squaring the ball to Benzema for another easy tap-in. Bilbao, have a word with yourself.

66 min: Bale scores! But it’s offside. Regardless the marking was shocking as Marcelo swept in a cross there, Bale and Ronaldo queuing up at the back post. I guess you might say that the trap worked, but Bale/Ronaldo only had to hold their run for a mini-second and it would have counted. Bilbao might want to re-think this whole defending thing.

62 min: It’s a free kick to Real, Ronaldo is stood over the ball, puffing out his cheeks and peacocking about, as is customary. It’s way over the bar, and Ronnie is furious with himself. He wants another hat-trick, it would be his third in the last four league games …

59 min: This time it is Ronaldo who lays it on for Bale. Ronaldo runs the channel down the right, and plays a simple cut-back to Bale on the edge of the area. He laces it, the ball swirling toward the roof of the net but it’s well tipped over. Bilbao’s players are already looking ragged. There’s plenty more goals here.

57 min: Great save from Casillas! It’s a deep cross from Iturraspe that is swung into the area, Carvajal lets it bounce beyond him, and Ibai steals in round the back and uses the pace of the ball to head from close range, but Casillas scrambles across his line well to block it.

The crowd chant his name: “Iker! Iker!”.

I have no idea why Bilbao are defending so high with the pace that Real have? Benzema drops deep, taking both Bilbao centre-backs with him, and his pass releases Bale on the right, who pins his ears back, makes for the byline, and rolls a perfectly weighted centre to Ronaldo, who has a tap-in.

52 min: Ibai’s full name is Ibai Gomez. Every time the commentator says his name, all i hear is ‘Eee by gum’. He’s got pace to burn though, Carvajal should be worried.

49 min: Real’s pace on the break is ridiculous. Ronaldo Cruyff-turns in the middle of the pitch and pokes a through ball to Bale. Bale is through on goal, but the ball is a little-underhit and Laporte throws himself into the challenge. Bale gets a first-time shot off and blazes over the bar, but he was definitely put off by Laporte. Laporte, who is French, is the only non-Spanish member of Bilbao’s team, by the way.

47 min: Bilbao have a corner – nearly all of their threat has come from set-pieces and crosses tonight. Varane gets his first touch, and heads clear.

Peeep peeep! We’re off again. Couple of changes that have been made. Varane is on for Ramos for Madrid; for Bilbao, Ibai is on for Benat, who all went a little bit Terry Butcher in that first half.

HALF-TIME ENTERTAINMENT

Ronaldo was level with Raúl, Puskas and Hugo Sánchez as the highest Real scorer against Bilbao, but with that third-minute header, he’s not the outright leader with 12.

Have a little look at this Sánchez beauty against Bilbao though ... (!!!)

As you hear in the video, Real’s manager at the time, Leo Beenhakker, said this about the goal: “They should change the rules. After a goal like that, you might as well stop the game, send the players to get changed and all go home. You just can’t beat it.”

43 min: Muniain pass is intercepted by Kroos, who finds Benzema, who turns top play Ronaldo in, but it is just intercepted by Laporte. It’s really careless from Bilbao, they’re asking for trouble and very nearly getting it. It’s all coming down Real’s left, but Ronaldo has been unmarked on the left far too many occasions.

Real Madrid break forward, and a mix-up in Bilbao’s defence allows Ronaldo through on goal, but Iraizoz comes off his line quickly and deflects it behind. However, from the resulting corner, Benzema rises highest and nods the ball powerfully down into the ground, before the ball bounces into the top corner.

38 min: Bilbao are having their best spell here. They’ve had the ball for a good couple of minutes, even if they’ve lacked a little penetration. Susaeta ends up with the ball on the right, and Marcelo lets him cross, but it’s poor.

34 min: Balenziaga is rightly penalised for a blatent handball to prevent a diagonal pass from James reaching Bale. Yellow card. The ball is swept in, but Bilbao set a much better disciplined offside trap, and about five Real players are caught offside.

I forgot to add earlier that Ramos has also been booked (obviously). For a aerial challenge on Guillermo.

32 min: Bilbao are playing a dangerous off-side trap very high up the pitch. Marcelo turns nicely inside and plays a through ball to Ronaldo, but the Portuguese is just offside. He had a clear run at goal, and there wasn’t a defender within 20 yards of him there! What are Bilbao doing?

With Real’s full-backs so high, Bilbao always carry a threat on the wings on the counter-attack. I expect that they’ll score, but concede a few more. Let’s say 4-1?

“I think it is very sporting of Ancelotti to include Marcelo in his team. Or perhaps it is required in order to maintain some level of fan interest?” asks Lou Roper.

A defender that doesn’t like defending, so yeah, Bilbao have a chance.

26 min: Marcelo gets high up the pitch and cuts inside. He gets a little tug, that is probably a foul and nothing more, but goes down theatrically. De Marcos is booked, he probably didn’t need to do that with Iturraspe covering. Marcelo gees up the crowd, throwing his arms in the air and he provokes the crowd.

24 min: Bilbao have a succession of headers, taken by the now bandaged Benat. They are all delivered with pace, and are well defended: Ramos imperious in the six-yard box. The ball comes out to Iturraspe who volleys well from the edge of the area. Great effort! Casillas tips over with a save that is a bit Hollywood for my liking, he might have caught that.

22 min: Madrid again break, with Ronaldo now on the right. He shapes to shoot, but it’s a feint, and instead he releases Benzema, but no! The Frenchman is just offside. It’s coming though.

20 min: Carvajal and Benat have kissed and made up and are back on the pitch. Meanwhile Ramos has landed awkwardly on Guillermo’s boot after climbing high for a header. Ouch!

18 min: A lovely little exchange from Bale and Ronaldo. The Welshman drives inside and plays a one-two with Ronaldo, before playing a low cross across the six-yard box. Benzema sticks out a toe, but his slide just isn’t far enough, and the ball runs out before Marcelo can retrieve it. The second is coming, surely?

15 min: The ball is stolen by Susaeta down the right, with Marcelo out of position, but it’s a poor cross, behind Guillermo and beyond the onrushing Muniain. A rea chance, you have to be ruthless at Real.

13 min: Carvajal and Benat go up for a header, and their heads collide. Carvajal looks to have come off the worst, he is flat on his back on the turf. Both are forced to go off but look like they’ll both come back on, Benat’s face is covered in blood, and the Bilbao physio is using a staple gun on the midfielder!

11 min: Real Madrid have the ball. Bilbao have got 11 men behind the ball. I fear this may be a trend.

9 min: Madrid are having all manner of joy down Bilbao’s left. There’s not a lot you can do about Bale’s pace though to be fair. He gets beyond Balenziaga but his square ball is not quite square enough, Benzema in the middle is adjudged to be offside. Another warning sign.

7 min: Madrid break swiftly, Ronaldo picking the ball up on the left flank and dribbling ominously at De Marcos. A couple of stepovers later, Ronaldo lets fly inside the area, with the ball flying low inside the near post, but Iraizoz gets a firm right hand to turn it round the post.

6 min: Bilbao have finally got hold of the ball – Susaeta cuts inside on the right but is crowded out. Kroos is marshalling things for Madrid well at the base of their midfield. He’s not had the most spectacular start for Madrid since joining, but his tactical awareness is first-class.

A frightening little stat for you:

Cristiano Ronaldo has scored 66 goals in 58 appearances since Ancelotti became coach of Real Madrid.

Carvajal again breaks down the right but is halted by Balenziaga at the edge of the area. Bale picks up the loose ball and swings a first-time cross in with his right (!) foot. It is perfectly directed towards Ronaldo at the back post, who has the easy task of heading in from three yards. I’d ask where the marking was, but the pace of the cross gave the keeper Iraizoz or the right back De Marcos no time to set themselves.

2 min: Carvajal gets forward and delivers an early cross towards Benzema in the middle. Iraizoz comes out and punches, it’s effective, if a little unorthodox. Real already into their rhythm.

Peeep peeep! And we’re off!

The teams are out! Let’s do this!

The last time these two teams met in February, Bilbao held Madrid to a 1-1 draw, and Ronaldo was sent off. Here he is getting in a bit of a tiss after reacting to a shove by Carlos Gurpegi and then a confrontation with Ander Iturraspe in the 75th minute.

No surprise at Real’s team, with the international break coming after this game, I’m sure Carlo Ancelotti couldn’t give a monkey’s if his players are tired for that. Ronaldo is fit to start, and Madrid will likely line up in a 4-3-3. The team pretty much picks itself at the moment.

The teams:

Real Madrid: Casillas, Carvajal, Ramos, Pepe, Marcelo, Kroos, Modrid, James, Ronaldo, Benzema, Bale Subs: Navas, Varane, Nacho, Arbeloa, Isco, Illarramendi, Hernandez.

Athletic Bilbao: Iraizoz, De Marcos, Gurpegui, Laporte, Balenziaga, Iturraspe, Rico, Muniain, Susaeta, Beñat, Guillermo Subs: Herrerin, San Jose, Ibai, Iraola, Etxeita, Viguera, Lopez

Referee: Alejandro Hernández

And if you would prefer a preposterous over-the-top video with Real’s starting line-up, here you are: