90 min: There will be at least three more minutes. In other words, keep running, Naismith, sprint, sprint, sprint!

89 min: Festive tricks from Everton, as Baines and Naismith produces foxy backheels deep in the Lille half, eliciting yelps of glee from the locals and hot tears of shame from Lille.

87 min: Corner to Lille. It’s cleared as far as Beria, who tonks it high and wide from 25 yards.

86 min: Balmont booked for a late tackle on Baines. Ridiculous: the full-back doesn’t look a bit like Naismith.

84 min: Everton sub: Besic trots on to replace McCarthy, who has been fabulous tonight and really should be given the weekend off as a reward.

82 min: Besic is limbering up on the sideline, showing more vigour than Lille are mustering in these dying minutes.

79 min: For those of you asking, Seamus Coleman has been rested tonight. Eminently sensible, I think we can all agree. Meanwhile on the pitch, nothing is happening because Lille have given up and Everton are just toddling about.

76 min: It’s very easy for Everton now. Lille have faded badly, a crumpled shell of a team. Eveton could score more if they wanted, but there’s no need for that. They should just conserve their energies for bigger games ahead. Except you, Naismith, run, run, run until you can run no more!

74 min: In the other match in this group, by the way, Wolfsburg are beating Krasnodor 3-1.

72 min: Origi - yes, he’s still out there - skitters down the left and into the Everton box, but then runs out of space and support. Danger over.

69 min: Gibson spanks a lovely ball wide to Naismith, who eludes one defenders and then lays it off. But the Everton move then peters out. “Is there player in England more improved than Naismith?” wonders David Lamont. “He seems to squeeze everything from the talents he has. I remember well the derision he received in his first season at Everton.” He sure has been excellent this season, a really clever mover and sharp finisher. It’s really quite worrying, with next Friday in mind.

66 min: Roberto Martinez finally does the right thing: he takes McGeady out of danger and introduces Atsu in his place. Meanwhile, Barry limps off after committing a foul on Corchia that earned him a yellow card. On comes Darron Gibson: hmmn - Martinez gives with one hand and takes away with the other. Still, Everton are in the groove and here is your chance to get into it too: a man called Liam has just emailed this tribute to James McCarthy.

64 min: Lille making changes for the hell of it: Frey and Mendes off, Roux, Beria on.

59 min: Eveton are starting to drift a little and Lille are attempting to profit. The French win a corner, but fail to make the most of it.

56 min: As if to emphasis Naylor’s point of a moment ago, McCarthy charges back and makes a superb tackle to snuff out a Lille counter-attack and launch and Everton on.

54 min: Well struck by Lukaku! Hard and curling, forcing a flying save from Enyeama.

53 min: Everton, picking their way forward for the first time in the second half, win a freekick in a dangerous position. It’s about 26.1 yards out and Lukaku, rather than Baines, fancies it.

51 min: Origi has shifted out to the right as he seeks a way to weigh more heavily on the game. But Everton have made light work of his threat so far.

49 min: As Lille huff and puff mid-way inside the Everton half, here’s a tribute to old school MBMs - a contribution from the lesser-spotted Gary Naylor.

47 min: Lille seem resolved to play more of the match in the opposing half. “Why are Napoli wearing grey at home? storms Nicholas Merriman, who does not sound so aptly named. As to the question, let me answer it with another: why the hell are you asking me? I’m watching this Everton-Lille, a crucial preparatory fixture for next week’s big game in Glasgow.

46 min: Lille get the second period going. Neither side have made any personnel changes during the break, nor hairdo adjustments, since you ask.

44 min: Corner to Lille. Origi meets Corchia’s delivery with a decent header, but not good enough to beat Howard.

40 min: Lukaku’s touches have been a bit sketchy but he remains full of running and menace - and it took an excellent tackle from Mavuba on the edge of the area just now to stop him from getting off a shot.

38 min: Lille work their way into an attacking position; Origi lofts a hopeful cross towards the penalty area, but there was no one there to receive it.

36 min: Gueye clatters into McCarthy. Listen, lads, just cut that out right now. Pick on Naismith, if you insist on clobbering people.

35 min: A lull. “For some reason i find the idea of pinning Ireland’s hopes on McGeady intensely depressing,” weeps Hugh Collins. “Still, we always have Wes Hoolahan,” weeps Hugh Collins. McGeady is having a fine season, as are his club-mates McCarthy and Coleman - and I fear Martin O’Neill won’t start Wessi in Glasgow, especially due to injury.

33 min: A crisp finish from Lukaku this time ... but it counts for nothing, because the Belgian was offside when Barry made the cutting pass.

31 min: Wonderful skill by McGeady on the right - more of that next week please! - followed by a sumptuous cross. Lukaku should score from eight yards ... but instead sends a weak header wide!

30 min: Corner to Lille after Howard tips an Origi header over the bar. The American then thumps the set-piece to safety.

27 min: Mavuba was cautioned in the aftermath of that goal for clutching at the scrawniest straws, claiming that Osman handled the ball. He was wrong. On the day Osman put pen to paper to sign a new contract, the ref puts pen to paper to book impudent Mavuba.

24 min: Lukaku holds the ball up long enough for Barry to come forward and take it off him and then make a sprint towards the byline. It’s put behind for a corner. Baines floats it towards the head of McGeady at the far post and that’s never going to result in a goal, now is it?

22 min: Suddenly Lille have bust out of their shell: Mendes forces an awkward save from Howard with a swirling shot from 18 yards. Naismith clears the corner as far as Gueye, whose shot clears the stand.

20 min: Another cross from the right by Balmont, who’s emerging as the most likely menace to Everton. Having said that, Mendes wins a corner down the other flank ...

18 min: A rare counter-attack from Lille, as Balmont race down the right and aims a cross at Frey, who can’t find the target with his header.

17 min: Everton are having almost all of the ball but Lille are playing the frustration game. And my lemur’s starting to fret...

15 min: Souare chops down McGeady on the left: that is intolerable! The winger has a crucial match for Ireland against Scotland next week and anyone that puts his participation in jeopardy should be banished forthwith!

12 min: Origi gets a touch! I’d almost forgotten he was on the pitch. Not his fault: his team are showing all the adventurous spirit of a troglodyte hermit. By the way, if you don’t want to know the latest score from the Feyenoord-Rijeka match, stay right here. I have no intention of mentioning it ever again.

10 min: As Lille settle a bit and being to snuff out the space that Everton had been exploiting adeptly, the home side try to diversify, bashing a few long balls forward to see what gives. Answer: nothing.

7 min: Everton are looking encouragingly sharp and seem to have enough penetrative qualities to get the better of a notoriously tough Lille defence. This won’t be 0-0, I’ll stake my (pet lemur’s) life on that.

4 min: This time Enyeama doesn’t look so nimble! he scarpered out of his box in a bid to beat Naismith to a flick-on from Lukaku but the forward got to it first. In fairness to the keeper though, the pressure as enough to prevent Naismith from getting a clean striker on it, so instead the Scot just prodded it past Enyeama but into the path of a retreating defender, who cleared the danger.

3 min: Enyeama has to show his skil again, this time dashing off his line to intercept an attempted through-ball for Lukaku. It’s a buoyant start by Everton and an even better one by the visiting goalkeeper.

1 min: Off we pop. Lukaku to Naismith from kick-off, and Everton begin knocking the ball about nicely. And within 32 seconds Enyeama has to make a superb one-handed save to paw away a shot from Lukaku, who had been put through by a canny pass from Naismith!

The teams stride confidently out onto the pitch, Lille in Dortmund yellow-and-black tracksuits, Everton in their familiar Cookie Monster blue.

Roberto Martinez, talking to the man from ITV, has just said that he expects a terrific game provided that “the weather respects football”. Right on cue, there’s a cloud solemnly sporting a RESPECT armband.

In anticipation of Origi introducing himself to Merseyside tonight with a goal, here is a chant you might like to practice. Or not.