Jacob Steinberg was at the Bridge this afternoon. Here’s his report. Thanks for reading this MBM.

Michael Carrick talks to TNT Sports. “We didn’t really get going in the second half … we should have been up in the first half … it was as positive as we could have hoped for … we looked really dangerous … we found a way of unravelling in the second half … a bad goal to concede … then the penalty and we were right up against it … I don’t think the heads dropped … there’s no hiding from the fact we haven’t won enough games … the boys were in a good place in the first half … they made the first blow in the second half and that made the difference … I’ve not looked at [the Martinez penalty incident] … I’ve not seen it.”

Do you feel let down by Martinez? “No.”

Do you think the fans (who sang Carrick’s name) will feel let down by the players? “There’s a lot of emotion … we want to win football matches … the fans pay a lot of money to watch us play … a lot of emotion running around right now … we’ve got to move forward … take a bit of belief and confidence … a lot of the good things from the first half.”

Do you expect to be in charge for Roma in the Champions League on Tuesday? “Yeah.”

Post-match postbag. “This is a disgrace from these players. Carrick doesn’t deserve this scoreline. He got his tactics spot on today, and we’re going to get absolutely hammered because the players have let him down. As a United fan, I’m fuming” – Joshua Keeling

“Gary Neville was very wrong last week when he said United players have downed tools for Carrick; they’re lobbing them right at him” – Dave Estherby

“I think you need to put captain in inverted commas when you are talking about Fernandes” – Barry from Cork

“Martinez. What a clown” – Matthew Lysaght

Xabi Alonso speaks to TNT Sports. “We are happy … the first half was close … a few chances for us and them … we spoke at half time … more control with the ball … the start of the second half was much better … a mature performance … a great win for sure … more stability … more control … [Estêvão] really deserved this moment … he gave back the opportunity … he has been a threat … I am very happy for him … he has given reasons to say to the coach, I want more minutes! … sometimes you do not get what you want … the best way to show is not being angry but to be competitive … he has done it really well … [a clean sheet] was a big part of our improvement … we can do better … we have taken a step forward, but I don’t know how far we are … my expectations are really high … I am sure the last three months of this season we will be much better.”

Manchester United were decent in the first half. The better team, in fact. But Lisandro Martínez butchered their chances in the second half, run ragged by Morgan Rogers, then drawn into an idiotic challenge by Wesley Fofana, picking up two yellow cards in under two minutes, and that was that. Martínez didn’t cover himself in glory for Rogers’ opening goal, either. You have to wonder what Michael Carrick is thinking, given the opinionated defender’s role in drawing further attention to United’s plight. Speaking of which, they’ll be in the relegation places tonight should there be a winner between Coventry City and Sunderland later, and Crystal Palace (at Tottenham Hotspur) or Nottingham Forest (at Brentford) draw.

In other news, next Friday will be the 40th anniversary of Alex Ferguson’s appointment as United manager. That it’s come to this.

Morgan Rogers, who opened the scoring with a Paul Gascoigne style sashay down the middle of the park, and has been named player of the match, talks to TNT Sports. “It was massive … a difficult week … a poor result last weekend … OK in the cup but not the win we wanted … so we knew we had to come out strong … first half was tough … they played well … second half we really stamped our authority … it was a massive conscious effort to go again … we deserved the win … I’m loving [playing for Chelsea] … it’s about the team coming together as a whole … I’m going to try to be a leader … I need to keep going … friendly competition [with his pal Cole Palmer] … if we’re both doing well, the team are doing well, and that’s the most important thing!”

Does that represent Michael Carrick’s last act as manager of Manchester United? Everyone was saying that last weekend, following the Bournemouth debacle, so let others speculate, we’ll just have to wait this out. But he goes over to the travelling support and offers some more apologetic applause, just as he did at Old Trafford last Sunday, before disappearing sadly down the tunnel, hands in pockets, a mournful trudge. Bruno Fernandes follows him over to the United fans, some of whom deliver a full and frank appraisal of his recent efforts. He looks on the verge of tears. Then he takes his leave as well. A grand old club in deep crisis.

90 min +9: Gusto is slipped into space down the right. He crosses low and long for Barco, who should slam home at the far post, six yards out, but slices his effort off target. It’s not going to matter.

90 min +8: Chelsea stroke the ball around the back, running the clock down in drama-free fashion. They’ve earned the right in this second half.

90 min +7: Palmer dances his way into the United box from the right. For a second, things look like opening up for him, but Heaven sticks to his shoulder and ushers the ball out for a goal kick. That’s Palmer’s last act of the afternoon, as he makes way for Quenda.

90 min +6: The xG now reads Chelsea 2.11 to Manchester United’s 1.18.

90 min +4: … so when you’re luck’s out, you’re luck’s out. Manchester United can’t catch a break. That would have been a hell of a goal, but Penders wasn’t having a bar of it! Meanwhile up the other end, Palmer blazes a good chance over. It could have been 2-1; it could have been 3-0.

90 min +2: … and they’re inches away from getting one! The corner’s half cleared to Mbeumo, who shapes like prime-era Zinedine Zidane and absolutely larrups a rising drive towards the top-right corner! The ball caroms off the underside of the bar and out! A sensational shot … and a save to match, because Penders got a fingernail to that, diverting it onto the woodwork! Awesome play all round!

90 min +1: Zirkzee chops his way past Colwill down the right and earns Manchester United a corner. A goal here would set the cat amongst the pigeons.

90 min: There will be ten (!) additional minutes. Michael Carrick must wonder what he’s done to deserve this.

89 min: Mount, formerly of Chelsea, clatters into Palmer and probably should go into the book, but the referee shows mercy. Incidentally, Zirkzee picked up a yellow a couple of minutes ago, for another poor challenge. United have unravelled spectacularly, yet arguably not that predictably, in this second half.

87 min: A triple change for Chelsea. Gusto, Welbeck and Barco come on for Neto, Caicedo and Estevao, who deserved a goal today, but won’t be getting one.

85 min: Estevao jinks in from the right, one-twos with Palmer, and whips a glorious low curler towards the bottom left. Lammens saves excellently. Estevao must wonder how he’s not on the scoresheet.

84 min: Zirkzee has a speculative dig from distance. It’s something, better than nothing, but easy for Penders. Chelsea go up the other end and Estevao’s shot deflects into the path of Lammens. “I’m sure Martinez wants out of this,” writes Tim Stappard. “I wish the rest of them wanted out too.”

83 min: Hats off to Manchester United’s travelling support. They’re chanting their love for this famous old club, loud and long, despite the nonsense unfolding in front of them.

81 min: Mbeumo is booked for delaying the restart as Palmer tries to take a quick free kick. “What was Carrick scribbling away frantically just then?” wonders Andrew Goudie. “His resignation letter?” You could hardly blame him, given the performance of his senior defenders in this second half.

80 min: … Zirkzee should clear, but takes a poor touch and gifts Palmer possession. Palmer aims for the top left, but gets the shot all wrong. “If Zirkzee is the answer, what is the question?” asks rhetoric’s Joe Johnson. “Nothing good, I fear.”

79 min: Palmer wanders past Maguire down the left, way too easily. He crosses for Estevao, who really wants a goal having had two disallowed. He shoots. Deflected. Corner. From which …

78 min: On TNT, Joe Cole suggests that Martinez is “at the scene of the crime too often” and his United career has run its course. It’s hard to disagree.

77 min: Diallo can’t continue. Zirkzee comes on in his stead. “Is it just me or everyone who thinks Martinez is pulling a ‘Romero move’ from last season?” wonders Karen Asad. “It sure looks thay way and a move to Atleti beckons!”

76 min: Diallo goes down feeling his leg. As he gets medical attention, Michael Carrick gives his captain Bruno Fernandes some tactical instruction. The horse already bolted.

74 min: Estevao has had two goals chalked off for offside now. That one was much closer than the other. Meanwhile Chavarria comes on for Palestra.

70 min: Palmer spins around Mainoo. So easy. Mainoo clips him, and goes into the book. Manchester United are being given the runaround now, and are losing their collective composure.

69 min: The resulting corner is cut back for Acheampong, whose low drive is fielded by Lammens. Everyone in Chelsea blue fancies a bit of this now.

68 min: Estevao finds space down the right and rolls across for Palmer, who would be tapping home at the far stick had Maguire not extended a leg to poke around the post. What fine last-ditch defence.

67 min: Some admin, as Maguire is booked for a late clip on Rogers, while Mount and Heaven come on for Cunha and Santos.

65 min: “You’re getting sacked in the morning,” trill the Chelsea fans. But can you blame Michael Carrick for such idiocy? “What an absolute idiot Martinez is,” writes Joshua Keeling. “Feel so sorry for Carrick. We played so well in the first half, missed a hatful of chances, terrible defending to give away the first goal, and then Martinez does something as stupid as that. We should have been two or three up at half time, and now look. It’s disgraceful from the players. Not Carrick. The players.”

61 min: Yep, VAR is going to take a look.

60 min: Estevao curls the resulting free kick into the mixer, forcing Maguire to head behind. Estevao sends the corner long. Fofana rises at the far stick. Martinez, not looking at the ball but facing his man, barges into Fofana. No penalty … but should it be a penalty? It should be a penalty.

59 min: Rogers ballet-dances his way down the right, a couple of pirouettes sending Martinez into a literal flat spin. Martinez eventually hauls him down and earns himself a booking.

58 min: United make the first change of the afternoon, replacing Baleba, who surely won’t be happy with his role in Chelsea’s goal, with Mainoo.

56 min: Estevao tries to chop his way past Dalot down the right, but has to settle for a corner. Estevao takes it himself, and nearly scores directly, but Lammens handles well on his line.

55 min: That was one hell of a goal from Chelsea’s perspective. Lavia broke up United’s attack and started one for Chelsea with a couple of shoogles of his hips. And Rogers’ run, wow. But United’s defence opened up egregiously. Maguire and Martinez not covering themselves in glory.

53 min: A free kick for United out on the left. Fernandes swings a dangerous low ball to the far post, where Cunha inexplicably fails to connect. Anything on that, and it was an equaliser. Fernandes can’t believe he doesn’t have another assist to his long career list.

51 min: Chelsea’s tails are up, and Estevao slides down the right before standing one up for Neto, whose looping header towards the top left is plucked from the sky by Lammens.

48 min: United’s xG has risen to 1.09. Given absolutely nothing’s happened since the start of the second half, you do have to wonder sometimes.

47 min: A slow start to the second half, so Stamford Bridge breaks into song in the hope of getting the home heroes going. “That was surely a first half where both teams needed Danny Welbeck as striker,” quips Rick Harris. “Can’t understand why United let him go.”

Chelsea get the second half started. The hosts will be looking for improvement, because Manchester United had the upper hand during that first period: to illustrate, Michael Carrick’s men won the xG battle by 0.28 to 1.01. But there are no half-time changes.

TNT have a quick chat with Michael Carrick before the restart. “We’ve played really well … done a lot of good things … we want to make that count … the game’s always in the balance here … we need to take our opportunities … we need a big second half.”

… and also allow us to introduce our new satire segment, That Was Half Time That Was. “Afternoon Scott,” begins Stephen Carr. “I’d like to take this opportunity to say that Aston Villa are a massive club with incredible heritage and are dead clever and get all the girls.”

Topical calypsos to follow.

I mean … both teams have had a goal ruled out for offside. Both attacks look lively; both defences are a risible shambles. It’s been great fun! We just need a goal. We’re still going to get one or two or five, right? Anyway, here’s the half-time postbag …

“I agree with you, there should be goals in this game, especially given that both defenses are holier than a very tattered shroud of Turin. But conversely, every attacker seems cursed by all the gods of every pantheon. It feels like that if a breakthrough comes it will be an absurd own goal” – Kári Tulinius

“Fans saying that the whole Fernandes (and Martinez) saga wouldn’t have happened under Ferguson need to realise how different the footballing landscape is now. Ferguson was the manager, not the coach, to paraphrase Ruben Amorim. He had full control and final say over everything. If he was in charge today, he would have to answer to the sporting director/director of football etc just like every other coach has to. He would also be subject to the same barrage of abuse that Carrick no doubt has been this week from the respective players agents. Football ‘managers’ have their hands tied behind their back these says; they’re not really in charge of anything - see also Arne Slot and Mo Salah last season” – Dave Estherby

“I know Michael Carrick needs all the help he can get, but having Bruno Fernandes’s brother running the line seems a bit much” – Gary Naylor

45 min: Estevao barges his way down the right and shoots straight at Lammens from a tight angle. He had Rogers clear in the middle. Seconds earlier, Mbeumo nearly got through on goal down the United left. Has a basketball game ever ended 0-0?

43 min: … and now, up the other end, Neto spins Maguire down the left and drags a shot across the face of goal when one-on-one with Lammens. How on earth is this still 0-0?!

42 min: Diallo spins the hapless Fofana down the right and he’s clear! He enters the box, opens his body, and aims a curler towards the top left. Just over. A big miss, though to be fair to Fofana, he got back and nibbled at Diallo to put him off.

41 min: … so having said that, Estevao probes down the right and wins Chelsea a corner. It’s swung towards the near post. The ball clanks off Palestra in slow motion, then off Caicedo, and finally off the right-hand post and away! But it wouldn’t have counted, because the ball hit Caicedo’s arm. All in super slo-mo.

40 min: Chelsea are struggling to string anything together, and their fans are beginning to get a bit agitated.

39 min: A corner from the right leads to another from the left. Fernandes loops it in. Colwill wins a header and Penders claims the dropping ball. Chelsea needed that. United have enjoyed 71 percent of possession in the last five minutes.

38 min: Diallo jinks into the Chelsea box from the right and aims for the bottom left. His shot is deflected behind for another Manchester United corner. Chelsea are clinging on at the moment.

36 min: The lead wouldn’t have flattered Manchester United. They’ve been extremely lively in attack; they’ve been the better team. “Has Dr Tottenham retired and handed their practice over to Chelsea?” wonders Sean Orlowicz.

33 min: … and Fernandes’ corner from the right leads to another on the left. Fernandes trots across to take this one as well.

32 min: Fofana, who didn’t have a good game at Anfield in the League Cup during the week, allows Diallo to rip the ball away from him on halfway. Diallo steams clear, and enters the box, shooting from an angle on the right. Penders kicks around the post, saving his defender’s blushes. For now …

30 min: Fernandes threads a ball in from the right for Diallo, who pings a shot towards the bottom right. Penders parries, but only manages to tee up Mbeumo, who declines the chance to shoot from a tight angle on the right. He cuts back for Cunha, whose deflected shot earns a corner from which nowt happens. Both teams look much better in attack than defence.

28 min: Estevao launches a long free kick into the United mixer. Maguire holds his pose and draws a foul from Colwill. United counter, and Diallo nearly gets in ahead of Palestra, who does well to get back in position and clear. It continues to be lively in south-west London.

26 min: “Early days, so whisper it quietly, but United have actually looked quite good so far,” writes Joshua Keeling. And he’s worth listening to, dear reader, because, indeed, here they come again, Diallo releasing Fernandes down the left. The United captain (still) whistles a low ball through the six-yard box. Mbeumo can’t telescope a leg to poke home. Anything on that, and it was in.

24 min: A huge pocket of space for Mbeumo in the middle of the Chelsea half. He advances towards the box, and releases Cunha down the inside-left channel … only for Cunha to take a horribly clumsy first touch, the ball twanging through to Penders. That was a big chance butchered.

22 min: Palmer plays a cute reverse pass down the right for Acheampong, who shoots when he should cross for either Neto or Rogers. He’d have set up a tap-in. Instead, he earns a corner that leads to nothing.

21 min: Both sides will be pleased with their showing in attack. The defences, less so. The crowd well into this as a result.

19 min: The free kick’s sent long. Lammens comes off his line and flaps. Rogers can’t poke home at the far stick, and United counter three on two! Mbeumo bombs down the right and curls a low pass into the centre for Fernandes, who is free but lashes carelessly over from the edge of the box! This won’t end 0-0. It just can’t.

18 min: … Rogers winning a free kick out on the other flank, Fernandes hanging out a lazy leg. Pressing’s all good and well, but. Estevao prepares to swing it in.

17 min: Rogers robs Baleba on halfway, and advances on goal. He lays off to Palmer, who dallies before shooting, and is in turn dispossessed by Yoro. However Chelsea soon come back at United, Rogers nearly getting past Yoro on the left. He earns a corner, which leads to …

15 min: … Neto shoots low and hard from a tight angle on the right. Lammens parries, but only tees up Estevao, who can’t miss from six yards. However, the young winger has been far too eager, and is needlessly offside as he slams home. United get away with one.

14 min: … Fernandes delivers. Fofana clears. Then Chelsea go upfield, and …

13 min: Diallo slips Yoro into space down the right. A low cross. Colwill is forced to bash behind for the first corner of the afternoon. From which …

12 min: Estevao again down the right. A dangerous dribble. He reaches the byline and cuts back, Santos intercepting just in time, with Caicedo lurking. The sun skips across the turf as well.

11 min: Estevao finds more space down the right but his low cross is hacked clear by Maguire. This doesn’t feel like it’s going to be a goalless game.

9 min: Dalot barrels down the left and cuts back for Fernandes, who rolls into the path of Santos, formerly of this parish. Santos opens his body and steers a shot from the edge of the box inches wide of the right-hand post. Penders had it covered. This is an open game.

8 min: Estevao drifts in from the right and looks for the top left. Well wide and high. Again, hats off for ambition.

7 min: Lavia take a quick free kick on halfway, hoping to catch out the wandering Lammens from super-long range. Easy for the keeper, but full marks for ambition.

6 min: Diallo launches United’s first attack down the right. He rolls infield for Cunha, who would be shooting for goal had he taken a cuter touch. The ball instead clanks through to Penders.

5 min: Chelsea pin United back, Palmer and Rogers nearly opening things up down the left. Not quite. The home side on top, and their fans in good voice.

4 min: Chelsea are seeing more of the ball during these early exchanges, for what that’s worth.

3 min: A rare old atmosphere at the Bridge. Saturday lunchtime pints! You see? We have photographic proof.

2 min: A fairly hectic and shapeless start. “The ghosts of managerial past are truly haunting this fixture,” writes Michael Coppejans. “Will there be an exorcism or just a sad departing at the end of this one? Chances are neither as I see in my crystal ball a draw. Let’s hope it as at least exciting for your MBM. Happy Halloween or Samhain if that is your preference!”

Manchester United get the ball rolling. They’ll be playing towards the Matthew Harding stand in this first half.

The teams are out! Chelsea in blue, Manchester United in red. Just as it should be. Poppies on the shirts, with remembrance of the fallen very much in mind at this time of year. A moment of silence, then the Last Post, at the home of the Pensioners. Sleep well, brave souls.

Xabi Alonso talks to TNT. “We are back in Premier League mode, so it is the most important … today is a big one … [Estevao] is ready … he is needed … we expect a tough game … an intense game … we will need our best.”

Michael Carrick speaks to TNT Sports. “There’s no hiding from the fact we want to win games … today is another opportunity … a tough game … we’ve prepared well … the boys are ready … Bruno [Fernandes] is an important player … he’s proved that for quite some time … hopefully we’ll get the best version of him … he’ll do it again, there’s no doubt about that … experience helps … we’ve got a good balance within the group … we’ve had a tough time results wise but the boys are going into this game in a clear frame of mind and we know what we need to do … we can’t control what [Chelsea] bring to the game … we’ve got to be the best version of us and if we’re close to that we’ve got a good chance of winning the game.”

Chelsea can reclaim fourth spot with a win this afternoon. Things are possibly not quite as bad as I painted them in the preamble. Erm. But vibes are vibes, and you get the gist. Meanwhile Manchester United would feel a lot better about themselves if they make their way up to 12th, 11th or even 10th with a big win. Any such progress for the Red Devils would only be guaranteed for a couple of hours, on this eight-game Super Saturday, but baby steps.

Both teams welcome back a fan favourite. Estevao starts for Chelsea, while Bruno Fernandes returns for Manchester United. Jordan Henderson is absent through illness, while Cole Palmer returns after suspension. Kobbie Mainoo is back on the United bench after a few matches out injured.