Now all that remains is for me to point you towards Scott Murray’s MBM of QPR v Man City. That one starts soon so go on, scram! And, of course, have a great remainder of the weekend. Thanks for your emails and tweets, and just for being you.

So, before I leave you, a reminder of this afternoon’s major 3pm kick-off stories:

• Shane Long’s brace gives Southampton a stronger foothold on second; they beat Leicester 2-0
• A deflected Juan Mata goal gives Manchester United a narrow win over Crystal Palace
• Burnley win! Ashley Barnes scores, and they beat Hull 1-0
• West Ham are frustrated by Villa: 0-0 at Upton Park
• In the Championship, Ipswich beat Watford 1-0, Middlesbrough and Bournemouth hold each other 0-0.
• Dover and Chester are the big FA Cup giantkillers, beating Morecambe and Southend respectively.
• Two Luis Suarez assists help Barcelona secure a 2-1 comeback win at Almeria.

Our second giantkilling is confirmed! Chester have beaten Southend 2-1 at Roots Hall! Congratulations to them.

And that’s full-time, finally, at Portman Road. Ipswich 1-0 Watford. The Tractor Boys are up to fourth and Mick McCarthy might, just might, have them in this for the long haul...

Dover have beaten Morecambe 1-0! A giantkilling for the Conference South club!

That was indeed a winner for Forest. 2-1 over Norwich, a great late comeback there. Charlton, too, have won – 1-0 at Reading.

At Portman Road they are four minutes into SIX of added time. Ipswich lead Watford 1-0.

And that’s full-time at the Riverside. The free-scoring top two have, of course, drawn 0-0.

And is that a winner for Forest and the embattled Stuart Pearce? Michael Antonio has scored in the 93rd minute against Norwich: 2-1! The visitors’ manager, Neil Adams, might find himself under pressure.

Hemel Hempstead seem, cruelly, to have been denied at the last against Bury. The Shakers are 2-1 up through Nathan Cameron.

And knock they do, as Andy Carroll almost made it a return to remember! He hung in the air to power in a back-post cross.....but Brad Guzan, not for the first time today, saved superbly!

Burnley are just a couple of minutes away from a first win of the season now. Tense times at Turf Moor. West Ham, meanwhile, still knocking on the door against Villa in our only goalless Premier League game.

A goal in one of our big Championship games! It’s Tommy Smith for Ipswich against Watford, and that could be a huge one for the fifth-placed Tractor Boys! 1-0 they lead with seven minutes left.

Fulham have a third now, with the transfer market’s Ross McCormack making it 3-1 against Huddersfield.

And Forest have equalised against Norwich – it’s the transfer market’s Britt Assombalonga.

Confirmation from Sid.

2-1 to Barcelona at Almeria now! And the story there is that Luis Suarez, the substitute, has made them both. His latest assist was for Jordi Alba, and Barca seem to be out of jail there now after an almighty scare.

Barnet 1-3 Wycombe and Bromley 3-4 Dartford now.

Another burst of goals in the Championship. Joel Lynch equalised for Huddersfield at Fulham before, almost straightaway, Lasse Vigen Christensen scored for the hosts. 2-1 to Fulham there.

Juan Mata has nearly made it two at Old Trafford! This time no deflection – he thwacked another good effort against the post and Palace are still in it.

Still goalless at Upton Park, by the way, but West Ham and Diafra Sakho are strongly knocking at the door.

Nile Ranger has just scored for Blackpool, who are now 3-1 down at Leeds. Neil Redfearn’s position is beginning to look untenable.

Looks as if one of our non-league favourites has been comprehensively de-Fyled. They’re 2-0 down at Plymouth. Bromley v Dartford is now 3-3 though!

Barcelona have equalised at Almeria. It’s Neymar, off the bench.

Kiran Kulkarni is chewing over the enigma that is today’s goalscorer, Mata:

“The ‘Juan Mata situation’ is quite perplexing at least to me because he was the best Chelsea player & he was instrumental in Blues staying competitive when Torres & Co were mediocre.. Why doesn’t he start?

“On the other hand I don’t think Januzaj is progressing apart from few crowd cheering runs which in reality aren’t unlocking even the bottom-half defences.”

Leicester, meanwhile, are well under the cosh at Southampton as far as I can see. Shots raining in, heads getting in the way, corners, you name it. Meanwhile, in the Championship game at Ipswich, Stephen Hunt and Fernando Forestieri have missed golden chances for either side....

Another goal at the New Den! 3-2 to Brentford, it’s Harlee Dean! And straight after Millwall had hit the bar....

As things stand, Chester (at Southend) and Dover (vs Morecambe) are today’s cup giantkillers...

Wycombe are winning at Barnet now. Go Chairboys! Andre Pierre your goalscorer.

Hull, by the way, have made all three subs now at Burnley but they have a real problem – Curtis Davies has done himself a mischief attempting an overhead kick-style contortion, and may have to go off....

Palace are still making chances at Old Trafford. Puncheon crosses to his opposite winger, Bolasie, who should probably head it but can’t make a decent contact. Could go either way....

And, errr, it’s now 2-2. Alan Dunne for Millwall!!

Oh, no, the picture has just blurred rather. Millwall have hit straight back! Lee Gregory has scored, it’s now Millwall 1-2 Brentford.

Not many shades of Gray at the New Den: Andre has done it again for Brentford; they’re now 2-0 up and in very exciting form.

Hull, meanwhile, have brought on Hatem ben Arfa for James Chester at Burnley. It is safe to say that this is an attacking move as they look to equalised the only Premier League goal we’ve seen yet this afternoon.

Mane is being treated for an injury at Southampton. He is such an exciting, explosive player and has been their main threat today.

Bit of an upset on the cards at League Two Cheltenham, who lead League One side Swindon 3-0.

And here *is* a Championship goal: Rudy Gestede’s 10th of the season has made it Brighton 1-1 Blackburn.

Ipswich v Watford and Boro v Bournemouth continue to sound like rattling good games at the top of the second tier. Be a surprise if both of these ended goalless....

The shock is back on at Southend! Conference side Chester have taken the lead again. 2-1, and Craig Mahon scored it.

Disallowed goal at Southampton. Sadio Mane dinked the ball over Kasper Schmeichel and in, but the linesman’s decision was correct there.

Palace are still a real threat on the counter at Old Trafford and you’d heave really backed Puncheon just now, with just Luke Shaw between him and the goal, but a mixture of the attacker’s dallying and the defender’s good positioning allow Carrick to nip back.

That Bromley v Dartford fixture, which you can imagine being pretty lively, is now 1-1. Danny Harris equalises for the visitors.

Could that pave the way for Burnley’s first win? Might be a nervy 40 minutes or so ahead now.

Manchester United have come out stronger against Palace, a few good balls going into the box. Remember, though, that Palace had the best chances in that first half. A good start from United ended in little more than huff and puff.

A half-time I neglected to give you was that Plymouth are leading Fylde 1-0. The Peninsula Boys, as nobody calls them, have it all to do.

Mark Lumley is...kind of...at a game:

“I’m watching the game in a Beer Station here in Kalaw, Myanmar with 3 local fans- who coincidently are out of their skulls on Betal Nut and local grog. The Ron Jeremy look-a-like sitting behind has resorted to grunting every time Fellaini is on the ball. Even the Myanmar Man United fans hate him.”

Yet again, too many questions.

Tom Adams, from Toronto, opines: “The current results are more interesting if you think of them like really good jazz - it’s about the goals they don’t score, yeah?”

Erm, yeah.

It’s also goalless in the two games at the Championship summit, Boro v Bournemouth and Ipswich v Watford, although both sound pretty entertaining.

In fact I’ll give you the rest of the Championship scores:

Birmingham 0-0 Cardiff; Brighton 1-0 Blackburn (a Gary Gardner goal that I missed a few minutes ago; Fulham 1-0 Huddersfield; Leeds 3-0 Blackpool; Millwall 0-1 Brentford; Nottm Forest 0-1 Norwich; Reading 0-1 Charlton; Sheff Wed 0-0 Rotherham.

A shock on the cards after all? It’s Dover 1-0 Morecambe. The Conference South side have just scored through Stefan Payne.

It’s Millwall 0-1 Brentford – Andre Gray has scored three in three for the Bees.

Chance for Palace at Old Trafford! Fraizer Campbell was one-on-one with De Gea, had to score....lofted it over! Then he had an overhead kick from point-blank range after a corner was headed down.....on target and it’s in, but it went over too! Palace are improving fast as the break nears.

What on earth is happening at Leeds? They are now 3-0 up over Blackpool through Mirco Antenucci.

Another Championship goal – Igor Vekotele has made it Reading 0-1 Charlton.

Drinks break at St Mary’s, although looking at the rain there I’m not sure any fluid is really needed. But it came on account of an injury to Steve Davis, who has been replaced by Jack Cork.

Goal for Almeria! It’s Almeria 1-0 Barcelona, the scorer Thievy....after Lionel Messi had lost the ball!

Goal for the Chairboys. A Paul Hayes penalty makes it 1-1 at Barnet.

I mentioned Bolasie earlier and he’s just shown again, driving into the box and putting a whipped ball in that Daley Blind had to turn behind ahead of Fraizer Campbell.

Ooooh and that was close from Mane at St Mary’s. He whipped an angled shot just over from close in. Not seeing a lot from Leicester at the moment.

Southend have equalised against Chester. A Barry Corr penalty.

Christopher Rendle is at a game, apparently:

“I’m at Burnley vs Hull. In the stands before kick off I was eating a ketchup smothered hotdog in my Saturday night fever/Elvis suit when a wayward practise shot knocked the hotdog out of my hand and the ketchup all over my jacket. I didn’t see who hit the shot so my attempt to get the cost of my dry cleaning covered in a small-claims court might be a bit fruitless.”

So many questions, so little time.

Another cup reality check. Hartlepool lead East Thurrock, from way down in the Ryman League, 1-0.

Another goal at Leeds! It’s Souleymane Doukara, and it’s Leeds 2-0 Blackpool. Apparently it was rather nice on the eye after some lovely approach play from the Brazilian prodigy, Adryan.

I’m not sure I mentioned earlier that Wilfried Zaha can’t play for Palace today – he’s on loan from United of course – so Neil Warnock’s new best friend Jason Puncheon is in. He’s been peripheral but Yannick Bolasie, on the other flank, did just have a little scamper down the left. Palace, although they aren’t really offering much, are not conceding many clear chances either.

Once again, if you’re at a game today, tell me all about it via email or that there Twitter.

United still banging on the door: Wayne Rooney has smacked over from 25 yards and then, shortly afterwards, Luke Shaw went on a marauding run and saw his effort turned behind by Speroni.

Thanks to the several of you who have swiftly come to our Chairboys rescue. Read on for the truth.

Burnley really want that first win. Danny Ings has just been superbly denied by the returning Steve Harper and then, moments later, Robbie Brady desperately cleared off the line from his own man, Paul McShane!

Another Championship goal: Fulham 1-0 Huddersfield. Two in-form sides, these, and Hugo Rodallega has struck the first blow at Craven Cottage. His sixth goal of what might be a renaissance season.

Southampton are setting the tempo against Leicester. Sadio Mane has just put in a tempting ball just beyond Graziano Pelle as the home side look to turn the screw on second place.

From Jezz Dresner: “Why are Wycombe called the Chairboys? The internet is turning up nothing and digging around in Wycombe forums was not my plan for the afternoon. Nick, please help.”

Jezz, I can’t! Can anyone else?

Goal for Norwich at Nottingham Forest: Jonny Howson has put the Canaries in the lead against a troubled home side.

The cup romance can be watered down a little – it hasn’t taken Bury long to equalise against Hemel Hempstead through Andrew Tutte.

No goals yet in our Championship table-topping games, although Middlesbrough have seen Adam Reach smack the crossbar against Bournemouth and Gianni Munari has been thwarted by by Ipswich ‘keeper Bartosz Bialkowski as Watford threatened.

A couple of chances at Upton Park. Gabriel Agbonlahor has shot over for Villa while James Collins, got onto the end of a tasty Aaron Cresswell corner for West Ham only for Brad Guzan to gather.

The FA Cup runneth over. 10 minutes in and another possible shock! Hemel Hempstead, from the Conference South, lead at League Two high-fliers Bury! James Potton with the goal.

You like match reports? Then come this way, reader, for Danny’s typically excellent take on Liverpool 1-2 Chelsea.

Goal for Leeds against Blackpool. It’s Liam Cooper, it’s 1-0, and I’ll come back to you with a wisecrack about boardroom shenanigans.

Palace aren’t seeing much of the ball at Old Trafford. I think they might miss Mile Jedinak – sent off towards the end on Monday night – for this one. Commanding figure in the midfield who has just got better and better over the last couple of years.

Another FA Cup shock in the offing? Chester, from the Conference, lead at League Two Southend. Ben Heneghan is yer man.

West Ham are on the front foot against Villa at the moment, but Enner Valencia has just hit a free-kick from a decent position into the wall. The resulting corner came to nought.

And in another of the FA Cup games we mentioned earlier Barnet have taken the lead over Wycombe – it’s ex-Chairboy John Akinde for the Conference leaders against the League Two table-toppers.

We have an early goal in the FA Cup! Bromley 1-0 Dartford, and it’s Louis Dennis inside the first minute of what is a big derby between two non-league giants.

Very close from Manchester United early on, Adnan Januzaj fizzing one just over the angle. At Turf Moor, Danny Ings has fired an early shot across the bows of Hull.

Fylde isn’t actually a town, did you know that? I didn’t. It’s a concept, a way of life, a movement, and also the peninsula on which, among other places, Blackpool and Fleetwood are situated. Plymouth are up against an hulking landmass at Home Park today.

Weston-Super-Mare v Doncaster has been postponed!

Heavy rain, apparently. That’s a shame (and something of an overreaction from the fans if true, although they’ve certainly had a long and wasted trip). We’ll keep you posted on anything more. And what a good job that it wasn’t abandoned.

Enough tweets for the moment. What are you looking forward today? Me, I think Ipswich v Watford and Boro v Bournemouth in the Championship look like fun. But I’m also intrigued to see if West Ham can – as, on form, they should – climb into the top four with a win over Villa and if Diafra Sakho, barely known to most punters before a few weeks back, can keep up his stunning form.

This is what he produced for Metz last season. We had been warned:

Should we all just go home?

News from Almeria. Luis Suarez on the bench for Barcelona this time.

Full-time at Anfield: Liverpool 1-2 Chelsea.

That one went to form, then, despite Can’s deflected deadlock-breaker for the home team. I’ll get Danny Taylor’s match report to you as soon as it’s ready.

Interesting. Carrick in midfield then, with left-footed Blind alongside the right-footed McNair at centre-back.

Now, as we’ve already seen, it’s FA Cup first round day and Steven Pye has sent us a very nice blog he’s written on this stage of the 1983/84 season – “A round which featured Alan Pardew playing for the Corinthian Casuals, wins for Maidstone and Enfield, and Jimmy Greaves’ son-in-law scoring for Chelmsford.”

West Ham v Aston Villa – the teams

Diafra Sakho starts for West Ham in place of Morgan Amalfitano. He’ll be looking t score for an EIGHTH successive game. Andy Carroll is back among the subs. One enforced change for Villa, Gabriel Agbonlahor coming in for felony’s Christian Benteke.

I know it was getting pretty tense at Derby before we dropped the ball to immerse you in team news, but the Rams did indeed cling on to beat Wolves 5-0.

Burnley v Hull – the teams

One switch for Burnley. Ashley Barnes replaces Marvin Sordell up top. Two changes for Hull: Steve Harper replaces Eldin Jakupovic in goal and Sone Aluko is in for The Mercurial Hatem Ben Arfa.

Southampton v Leicester – the teams

They said it: Mané replaces Shane Long for the flying Saints. For Leicester, Schlupp is in for Konchesky and Ulloa in for Nugent.

A goal at Anfield! Diego Costa makes it 2-1 to Chelsea! Go and see Scott Murray – now!

Manchester United v Crystal Palace – the teams

Michael Carrick starts his first game of the season, while Paddy McNair is in too. Chris Smalling, suspended, and the injured Marcos Rojo make way.

For Palace, Adrian Mariappa comes in for Martin Kelly and James McArthur is in for the suspended Mile Jedinak.

As always, your emails will probably hinder be a great assistance in making sense of all that’s going on this afternoon. I’m particularly keen to know if you’re at a game, particularly if it’s not one of the Premier League ones. What’s happening there? Tell us. The address is at the top.

There is action abroad, too. And Barcelona, humbled by Celta Vigo at home last weekend, must visit Almeria at 3pm. Surely they can’t slip up there?

You may well recognise Fylde’s manager, by the way. He’s the King of the Flingers.

It’s not just about the league today though.

No way. This is FA Cup First Round Day, or at least day two of FA Cup First Round Weekend. Warrington, a full 100 places below League Two side Exeter in the pyramid, got us off to a flyer last night with a heroic 1-0 win and there are a further 27 (twenty-seven) games today. I’m not going to promise you every single goal from those as they happen but I’ll definitely be bringing you the best bits.

What could those be? Weston Super Mare v Doncaster is one that hits you between the eyes. Donny are 17th in League One but were a Championship side last season; their hosts, three tiers below in the Conference South, aren’t doing at all well in the league – they’re second from bottom – but, as so often happens, they’ve pulled out all the stops in the cup so far. One to watch there.

I’ll pick you out another: Plymouth v AFC Fylde. Not only are there two divisions between them (League Two hosts Conference North), but the pair are separated by 316 miles. Plymouth are sixth in the fourth tier, Fylde second in the sixth. You never know.

Meanwhile Barnet, top of the Conference, host Wycombe, top of League Two, in a game that feels like an old-early ‘90s rivalry.

Like a bit of early ‘90s FA Cup? And before? Some of these YouTube links will while away the time between now and kick-off. I don’t know about you but, back in the day, FA Cup first round weekend seemed a wonderfully obscure thing of muddy pitches, dark, gloomy afternoons in faintly intimidating suburban stadia, blustering centre-forwards, terrible goalkeeping, moments of transient brilliance....you know the kind of thing. It had its special place and should do, still.

Now 5-0. Johnny Russell has his own second. Busy old Clocko and it’s only 13:38.

It is now 4-0 to Derby against a really, really bad Wolves. Jeff Hendrick has his second. Rams going top of the Championship....for now.

...because we also have the biggest day of Championship football so far this season.

As we speak, Derby – in fourth – are giving sixth-placed Wolves a pounding. 3-0 at Pride Park early in the second half. Wolves have been appalling; check out the defending for the Rams’ third later on. Then at 3pm, the top two play each other at the Riverside. It’s Middlesbrough (2nd) v Bournemouth (1st) and should be a belter. And there’s more: fifth-placed Ipswich host third-placed Watford. A chance for some teams to really put themselves firmly in there today, and hope for the chasing pack that at least three of those above them in what is a very tight division will be dropping points.

Other interesting fixtures in the second tier include Leeds v Blackpool, in a game that should result in at least one managerial sacking, and Nottingham Forest v Norwich – which would have been the top-of-the-table clash until a few weeks ago. Both are in pretty poor form; neither is at all far from the business end, all the same. All good fun.